His Pleasures and Pain (Book II) (Allen Trilogy 2)

by Chevelle Allen

  “I see.”

  “Janine, I said it because I love you. If that’s something you want then we can do it together.”

  “Why D.C.? Why not Indianapolis? Why do I have to be the one to give up my job and career?”

  “You wouldn’t have to give up your career. You can practice law anywhere. You passed the D.C.

  Bar and hell, there are foundations in D.C. that would kill to have you,” he said. Even as the words left his mouth, he began to understand the heart of the conflict.

  “I see. And you can practice law anywhere too,” she said with her eyes steely and fixed on his.

  “It’s a practical thing. It doesn’t make sense for me to give up my practice just as it’s getting the momentum and a client base we need to go to the next level.”

  “I see. So it’s about keeping the firm viable, because it’s not like you really need the money,” she snapped. She lay back down on the bed turning away from him.

  He thought about letting the comment go, but he couldn’t. She had deliberately crossed a line he thought had been resolved between them years before. “What the fuck is that? Are you kidding me?”

  She turned back looking at him. “Why is the woman expected to give up everything? You don’t have a clue how sexist you sound right now!”

  “I’m not talking about women. I’m talking about you and me.” He was getting angry in addition to feeling wounded. But for the life of him he couldn’t escape the feeling what was happening between them was a manufactured fight. She was feeling insecure about something very important to her. Rather than talk about it, her first response was to fight or flee. In this case she chose to fight.

  “Fine!” She sat up in the bed adding, “Why do I need to give up my job for us to have a baby?”

  “I’m not even sure we why we are having this conversation. You made yourself very clear when you said we were “nowhere near that place” to be talking about babies. So why the hell are we arguing about it now?” he snapped back at her.

  He got up and took off his shirt and pants throwing them on the chair before heading into the bathroom. This wasn’t how he wanted their weekend together to be. He wanted to enjoy being with her again, laughing, loving and taking in a little of the city they both loved. Instead, he was deeply hurt by several comments she’d made. He got into the shower placing his hand against the stall as the water flowed over his head. He was trying to calm himself and figure out how best to save their time together. But he was beginning to seriously doubt if it was possible.

  Their conversation was replaying in his head. There were so many elements to their exchange. Trying to root out what was really behind the argument was difficult for him to sort. He was completely lost to his thoughts when he heard the shower door open. A bit startled, he turned to see her standing there. They just looked at each other for a moment. She took off her shirt and entered the shower with him. She stood facing him as the water splashed her hair streaming down the sides of her face.

  “Baby, I’m sorry,” she said placing her hands on the back of his head and lifting on her toes to kiss his forehead. “I’m just so sorry. I don’t know what…”

  “What do you want, Janine? Because I can’t…”

  She kissed his lips offering her tongue to him while she moved her hands across his shoulders and down his back. Eventually entwining her fingers to his she whispered, “I want now…and forever.”

  “Are you sure about that?” he asked searching her face for confirmation of her words.

  “Yes.”

  Taking her face in his hands he said, “We can do this, but we both have to be in it to make that happen. That bullshit out there? That can’t happen again.”

  “I’m trying, but this is hard for me.”

  “I’m frustrated too, but we can’t take it out on each other.”

  “I can’t leave my job…not now. I’m trying to build something too.”

  Wrapping his arms tightly around her, he said softly, “Love is where we start. We’ll figure out the rest.”

  “But is it enough?”

  “It is for me. Don’t forget or ever doubt how much I love you. Understand?”

  She smiled lovingly at him, raised her chin and said, “Yes, Sir.”

  CHAPTER 26

  Despite the rough patch, their weekend became everything he hoped it would be. After the baby shower, they were able to take in an Off-Broadway show followed by dinner and quiet time in their suite. At times they simply sat on the couch embracing and stroking one another. They laughed while watching a little television followed by intense lovemaking and more play. When they finally settled into bed to sleep, he felt a peace and comfort he only experienced with her. They were together and happy.

  While she slept, he watched her and thought about all that she was to him. It was becoming clearer to him that Janine’s insecurities weren’t based in trauma per se. She wasn’t emotionally broken, but rather she was far more guarded than he realized. It also became apparent to him that over the years, this part of her personality had deepened. He didn’t want to psychoanalyze her. He simply wanted to understand why it was easier for her to give of herself physically—even in her role as his Sub. But truly freeing and letting go emotionally was far more difficult for her. This was the part of her he most wanted.

  He reasoned letting go frightened her most because she couldn’t control the outcome. Being truly vulnerable meant she’d have to rely on him to catch her if she fell. Their intimacy was likely the most she had ever shared with any man but even it had limitations. He never doubted she loved him but the more he considered her, he began to see their challenges were similar. While he was learning to free himself from the boundaries and duality of his life and play, she had to learn to free her emotions the way she had freed her body. Both of them had created their own dualities, but they were clearly on different paths to resolve it all.

  As illuminating as his revelation was, he had no idea how to pursue it with her. In play, it was all about introducing new elements and watching the reaction. They talked about anything new before pursuing it again. But emotions were far more complex. He learned over the years pushing her beyond her emotional comfort had only one outcome; she retreated. Instinctively he also understood emotional honesty was key to overcoming this final threshold of trust between them.

  The next morning, he rolled over to hold her but she wasn’t there. Glancing at the night table clock, he groaned because he hadn’t slept past eight in a very long time. He felt relaxed, well-rested and the thought of lingering in bed was ideal. But he had no interest in doing so if she wasn’t beside him.

  “Janine?” he called out.

  He heard her come to the doorway where she stood smiling at him. “Good morning.”

  He took a deep breath and said, “Come back to bed, Baby.”

  He extended his hand to her as she walked towards him taking it. He pulled her down to him in one swift movement that left her giggling.

  “I was going to let you sleep a little later,” she said, “Last night must have worn you out. Are you hungry? Because I am.”

  He groaned at her while smiling broadly.

  “For breakfast, Michael.” She tilted her head widening her smile.

  “You’re all the nourishment I need,” he said letting his hands move to her behind and positioning her on top of him. He was becoming erect as he moved his hands under her robe to rub and squeeze her bare ass. “Yep. All I need is right here.” He gave her a light tap on the ass.

  “Well, I need a different source of protein than what you provide, Mr. Josey,” she quipped.

  “Ouch!”

  His smile shifted as she leaned in to kiss him softly. He closed his eyes to capture the sweetness of her lips on his. He moved his hands up her back to her shoulders to slowly slide the robe off her naked body. She slipped her arms out of the sleeves before pulling the top sheet from between them. She kissed him further before moving down his chest to his thighs. She li
cked his shaft slowly before taking him into her mouth.

  Releasing him, she whispered teasingly, “Is there such a thing as a breakfast appetizer?”

  “You’ll have to figure that out for yourself,” he said.

  Placing his hands behind his head, he looked down as she resumed eagerly making love to him with her mouth. Watching her was almost as arousing as her touches. Throughout the act, she occasionally opened her eyes glancing back at him. He reached out to her, gently holding her head when he felt himself ready for release. He tilted his hips pressing his penis further into her mouth while she increased her pace swirling her tongue around his tip with each stroke until he came.

  When she finished, she crawled back up and kissed him again.

  “Still hungry?” he asked with heavy breath.

  By her smirk he could tell she was processing which response to give. He knew whatever she said would be playful and he was ready.

  “Very.” She straddled him and slowly began rubbing her clit against his penis.

  “Then you should probably call room service,” he laughed before rolling her off of him and onto her back.

  “That’s not fair!” she chuckled.

  “Life’s not fair. Besides, you drained me,” he quipped.

  With a devilish look, she raised her brow and said, “Oh really? Well, your tongue still works, right? Get to it, Mister!”

  “So you’re demanding things now?”

  “Maybe…”

  “That little remark might cost you.” He loved toying with her so he got up, swatted her thigh and exited to the living area.

  “Hey! Where are you going?” she called out to him.

  He didn’t answer but instead laughed at her. He went to the small fridge and pulled out a juice to quench his thirst. He sat on the sofa propping his feet on the coffee table. She emerged from the bedroom like he knew she would. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her standing in the doorway in all her glorious nakedness.

  “You can’t be serious!”

  “What’s that, Baby?” It was hard for him to contain his amusement as he deliberately kept his eyes off of her. He turned on the TV and began scrolling through the listings.

  “You heard me, Michael Josey! We’re not done in here!”

  She was amusing the hell out of him and he couldn’t believe she actually made such a remark. Every ounce of him wanted to go to her and fuck her senseless. But he was more intrigued to see just how far she was willing to push the issue. He decided to tease her further.

  “We’re not done? Oh Janine! Baby, I’m done. When you decide to be a bit more respectful, I might consider your request.”

  He looked towards her for the first time as their test of wills was beginning to take an enticing turn. She folded her arms and returned the intensity of his stare.

  He continued saying, “And to make up for your disrespect, you’re going to have to get on your hands and knees, crawl to me, and beg for it.”

  The swirl of thoughts, emotions, desire and a hint of defiance were all over her face. She wanted to win their little contest. While she was a worthy adversary, he was far more masterful at it than she was. Without a doubt, Nikita had helped him hone those skills.

  “I’ll ask, but I don’t beg,” she finally said with a devilish grin. He was impressed but undeterred.

  “Then you’ll re-learn. You know better than try to top from the bottom,” he replied keeping his eyes on hers as he patiently waited for her next move.

  “Is that so?” she replied.

  Much to his surprise, she walked towards him and sat on the coffee table with her back to him. Deliberately blocking his view of the television, she dropped her head forward for a moment before moving it in a slow circle. She then brought her hand to her neck before obviously moving it slowly down to her chest and lower. While he couldn’t see all that she was doing, the position of her arm and elbow suggested she had moved her hand between her legs. He was glad she couldn’t see his smile. Holy shit! Is she really about to...?

  Her hips and ass began moving in synch with the movements of her hand. He took his feet off the edge of the table and leaned forward resting his elbows on his knees to watch her. She scooted her hips back further on the table before swinging her legs to the short end. She then lowered herself flat on the table, turned to face him and began masturbating. Using her fingertips, she rubbed her clit shifting the pace while she used her other hand to pull and squeeze her nipples.

  There was no denying the entire scene playing out in front of him was testing him. As she moved her fingers into her pussy, she lifted her hips slightly. The moistness of her fingers when she withdrew them was intoxicating. He took a deep breath in an attempt to quell his erection. She smiled broadly knowing she was getting to him. But he knew her body very well. He knew when she was aroused to this level she needed deep penetration to ease the inevitable and painful vaginal spasms she experienced when she came from masturbating. He could wait her out because she would indeed beg him to give her what she needed when she finished.

  Her breathing increased and her eyes became heavy as the waves of her orgasm began to overtake her. There was no denying he wanted to touch her, to lick, to kiss and fuck her—but he wouldn’t do it. Instead, he watched as she writhed on the table in front of him. And then he saw it—the look on her face letting him know the aching inside was becoming more intense. Even as she moved her fingers in and out, they couldn’t compare to what she really wanted. They both knew it and he felt smug as the realization showed on her face. The question was whether or not she would do it. Would she beg him because she could be stubborn as hell?

  “You need something, Baby?” he lovingly teased leaning a little closer to her letting his eyes take in her entire body as she squirmed and convulsed. She closed her eyes as she desperately tried to fight the urges inside her. He sat back on the couch taking the last sip of his juice. She didn’t utter a word, so he got up and got another juice from the fridge.

  “Michael,” she whimpered.

  “You know what you have to do, Janine,” he smirked, taking a sip.

  When he turned back to her, she’d lowered herself from the table. She was now on her hands and knees on the floor, but she wasn’t moving. The mere sight of her on all fours looking up at him caused his penis to stiffen even more. He steadied himself, took another sip of the juice and softly said, “Come here.” He could feel the heat rushing throughout his body just watching her.

  She dropped her head as she struggled with his demand. The truth was she was already there—she just had to move. She had to let her mind follow her body. She started crawling slowly towards him before resting back on her heels. He could tell her internal ache had not waned substantially.

  “Please Sir,” she whispered as she sat back in her full Sub position.

  He knew he could only push her but so far. As it was, this was something she hadn’t experienced in a long time—and certainly not at this level of intensity. He set the bottle on the counter and walked towards her.

  “Please, what? What do you need?” He was curious if she would verbalize her need given she had lost their little test of wills. She was certainly capable, but she wasn’t always compliant.

  “I need you…deep inside. I need you to make love to me, Sir.”

  He looked intently at her. “That’s not all you need. And you’re certainly not begging.”

  She swallowed hard taking a deep breath before saying “I’m begging you to fuck me…hard please, Sir.”

  “You need more than that,” he said walking closer to her.

  With his penis fully erect, he placed his hand on the top of her head. She rose up on her knees and again took him eagerly into her mouth. After a few strokes, he withdrew from her and motioned for her to move towards the coffee table. Directing her to lean over the table with her hands outstretched and her knees on the floor, he lowered onto his knees and smacked her hard across her ass. She gasped and turned back looking at him wi
th wanting eyes. Again, he smacked her harder before licking her ass and letting his tongue tease her pussy. He wanted to build the ache in her again. Over and over he smacked and licked until her body started shuddering.

  “Please, Sir!” she screamed out.

  Positioned squarely behind her, he pushed deep inside feeling her warmth and pulsing walls taking in all of him. She moaned loudly and he fucked her as hard and fast as he could. The sweat began to build on them while she grabbed the table as if it would ground her through the series of orgasms she was having. With each of her orgasms, he was having a harder time focusing as his own rushed to its climax. Fuck! Despite his best efforts, he came hard collapsing on top of her.

  He lay there for a moment rubbing her outstretched forearms and kissing her back. When his breath returned to normal, he lifted off of her and leaned back on his legs. She didn’t move, but rather lay still across the table with her eyes closed savoring what had happened between them.

  She eventually let out a deep sigh, smiled and said, “You win.”

  He let out a chuckle. “It surprises me you thought you even had a chance.”

  She lifted off the table and joined him on leaned against him, “One day I will.”

  He wrapped his arms around her and kissed the back of her neck before saying, “Don’t count on it.”

  “Listen at you! You know I love a challenge,” she laughed.

  “And you know I can meet it,” he said as he lightly bit her ear. “But for now, I’ll order room service while you get cleaned up.”

  “Why don’t we both get cleaned up,” she replied.

  The look in her eyes let him know exactly how their last few hours together would be spent. And he was perfectly fine with that.

  CHAPTER 27

  It had been over a month since they shared their glorious weekend in New York. With hundreds of miles between them, he looked forward to their nightly chats. Their calls ran the gamut from discussions about social or political events, fond remembrances of their time together, to confessions of their abiding love. Occasionally, they’d talk about their future together, but those conversations tended to become a little awkward. Intellectually he understood they simply hadn’t resolved the impasse over when or how the future would manifest.