Lost Pleasures Found (The Montgomery Family & Friends Book 1)

by Vikki Vaught

  His mind dwelled on Melody much of the time. He wanted to go to her bed so much, it was eating him alive, yet he still struggled with forgiving her. They spent very little time together, and he regretted it. There was no way they could get through this if they did not start doing that. It was his fault. Melody had made several attempts to talk to him, but he always made up an excuse.

  God, why can I not get over this and forgive her?

  Would I have wanted her to spend the rest of her life alone?

  After all, she believed he had died, and with good reason. She’d had the right to get on with her life. Intellectually, this made sense to him. However, for some reason he could not get over his jealousy of Melody allowing another man in her bed. Even if she had been married to Brandon.

  He made up his mind. He would stop avoiding her. He also needed to get to know his daughter. He had barely spent any time with her since he found out about her.

  Since it was such a beautiful day, he would return to the house and get the cook to fix a lunch, then take Melody and the children on a picnic. He turned his horse around and headed toward the house.

  He found Melody in the nursery, playing with the children. While he watched her sitting at the child’s table, playing tea with the girls, her beauty stole his breath and sent frissons of desire racing through his veins.

  Melody did not deserve his resentment. Looking up as he entered, surprise registered in her eyes at seeing him in the nursery. This was the first time he had visited. He approached the table and smiled at them. “May I join you for tea?”

  Mary Elizabeth looked up at him with trepidation in her gorgeous blue eyes and slowly nodded. He knelt beside her, and his daughter pretended to pour him some tea and handed him a tiny cup. He had a hard time holding it, but he managed to bring it to his mouth and pretended to sip. Mary Elizabeth giggled, and a big smile graced her adorable face.

  “Would you lovely ladies like to go on a picnic today?” He smiled at his daughter. “I returned from the fields because it was far too lovely of a day to spend it alone. What do you say? Will you come with me?”

  Melody beamed. “That sounds delightful.”

  Mary Elizabeth looked up at him. “Can my fwiend Angewa come too?”

  “Of course. In fact, all of you can come. Roderick, would you like to come?” Roderick nodded vigorously. “If you’ll get the children ready, I’ll have Cook prepare a basket and meet you out front in fifteen minutes.”

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  Once they piled into the pony cart, Henry picked up the reins and they were off. When they arrived at the lake, Melody spread out a blanket. Brandon was fascinated with the grass and kept trying to pull it out of the ground and put it in his mouth. Every time his wife would sit him on the blanket, he would take off again; he was just too fast for her. Henry kept picking him up and carrying him back. Roderick started skipping rocks. Mary Elizabeth and Angela held hands and moved in a circle playing “Ring around the Rosie.”

  Finally, Brandon fell asleep, and they were able to relax a bit and talk. He enjoyed being with her and the children. Realizing he had never been on a picnic with youngsters before, he was surprised when he found it quite entertaining.

  While laughing at the antics of the girls, Melody’s face took on an angelic expression. The sunlight cast a glow on her glorious hair. God, he missed burying his head in her golden locks. His heart clenched at the pain he caused her by his unwillingness to forgive.

  Once Melody had the food laid out, she called the children over. Cook had packed roasted chicken, a block of cheese, and a loaf of fresh bread. She had also included fresh fruit with a jug of apple cider. Everyone enjoyed the meal. Melody pulled the chicken into bite-sized pieces for Brandon, and he gobbled it up. Then he grabbed a ripe strawberry and crammed it in his mouth. His lips turned red, and the fruit juice dribbled on his chin.

  Even though he might resent the child’s father, the little boy looked so adorable. He bounced Brandon on his lap and was amazed at his strength. The child would be walking in no time. Melody laughed and smiled while she watched him with her son.

  After they finished eating, the girls fell asleep, and Roderick returned to skipping rocks. Melody cradled her son in her lap. He watched her expression soften as she gazed at her children. She obviously loved them a great deal. Of course, he had always known she would be a wonderful mother.

  While rocking Brandon back and forth, she said, “I’m glad you thought of the picnic. This is the first one I’ve been on in several years. Remember the picnics we used to have in Hyde Park? We had such an enjoyable time that summer.”

  “I remember how much I enjoyed watching you, just as I have today. I realized something. If we don’t spend time together, how can we possibly hope to overcome our difficulties? I also need to get to know my daughter. I’m so pleased our love created such a beautiful child.” He looked into her gorgeous sherry-colored eyes. “Can we start building on the love we shared before we were torn apart?”

  Brandon started fussing a bit. His wife picked him up and placed him on her shoulder, which seemed to calm him. “I want that, too. I’ve been distressed and worried over you avoiding me. The only way to accomplish that is to get to know each other again.”

  “I agree.” He reached over and squeezed her hand.

  After she glanced at the girls to check on them, she asked, “What was it like when you were in Brussels?”

  He met her questioning gaze. “Frustrating because of my memory loss, yet peaceful at the same time. The monks lived together in such harmony. Although, I could sense I’d had a much more energetic life than the one I was living with them.”

  “That’s true. You’ve always been an active man,” she replied. “What kept you from giving up hope?”

  “Father Francis and I had deep philosophical discussions, and I learned patience. I realized I wasn’t a very patient person by nature.” He looked at her and added, “Once my memory returned, all I could think about was getting to you.”

  Sympathy warmed her eyes. “I’m sure it was shocking when you realized how much time had passed.”

  He sighed and swallowed the lump in his throat. The anxiety he had experienced that day would stay with him for a long time. “When Father Francis told me how long I’d been at the monastery, my first thought was of you. That you must have thought I was dead after so much time. When I learned they had even brought a body back, well, needless to say, I understand why you believed I had died.”

  He watched her eyes fill with tears. He wanted to pull her into his arms and reassure her everything would be all right. He could not do that, though, until he could forgive her for giving herself to Brandon. It was irrational, but he could not get the image out of his mind.

  “All I wanted to do was get to you,” he earnestly told her. “It was so exasperating when I kept running into obstacles that kept me from coming to you. I couldn’t leave Nelson. The waiting came close to tearing me apart.”

  “You made the right decision to stay,” she assured him and wiped at a tear. “I feel his loss keenly. I don’t know what I would have done without him. I almost collapsed during your funeral, and he held me up to keep me from falling.”

  “I’m relieved he was with you,” he murmured. “I spent time every day with Nelson before he died. He asked me to take care of Mary. He loved her desperately.”

  “It’s such a terrible tragedy. Mary deeply mourns him. I’m sure his death must have devastated your father.”

  A flash of pain jolted him when he recalled his father’s last moments. “He was a broken man. He apologized for treating me poorly and told me he was proud of the man I had become. We spent each morning preparing for me to take over the ducal holdings up until Nelson’s death.”

  Melody touched his arm. “I’m glad he made his peace with you before he passed.”

  Her gentle caress stirred his soul. “I suspect he feared he would die. He told me he’d been having heart palpitations. Once we lai
d Nelson to rest, he told me to bring you home.”

  “It must have been awful when you received the news he’d had an apoplexy. At least you were able to see him before he died.”

  “Thank God I arrived in time. He woke up and tried to talk, but he was too weak. He passed away a few days later while I sat with him.”

  “I’m sorry you didn’t get to talk to him. At least he knew you were there,” she replied.

  “After the funeral, I had so many things to do,” he explained. “I had to visit all the holdings spread all across England. Then I made my way north. When I went to your parents’ house and learned they had died, I panicked. The new vicar would not tell me where you had gone. I remembered where Susan lived, so I went to see her mother. Although she was reluctant, I finally persuaded her to give me your address.”

  “I’m sure Mrs. Wilton hesitated because she knew I had remarried.”

  “When I arrived at your house and found you so ill, I almost came apart at the thought of losing you.” He hesitated. “Melody. I’ve been unfair to you. I guess I’m selfish, because I can’t stand the idea of you with another man. I know we can get through this, as long as we both try. Now, tell me how it was for you.”

  Melody looked over at the girls, making sure they were still asleep before replying. “I was at Sanderford Park. Kathryn and I returned from London. I never intended to go for the season. I only went to be with your sisters.”

  “I was relieved when I got your letter telling me you had gone,” he told her. “Knowing that allowed me to concentrate on my mission. How did you find out about me?”

  “Nelson returned home unexpectedly. I didn’t want to believe him. I kept insisting it was a mistake. I believed I should have felt it, if it were true. When he told me Captain Hayden had brought your body back, I had to accept it. I wish I had demanded to see you, then I would have known it wasn’t you.”

  “Nelson would never have let you, even if you had asked. I’m so sorry you had to go through all that.” He reached over and gently touched her face.

  Meeting his gaze, she said, “Once the funeral was over, I insisted he take me home. After Nelson left, I learned I was increasing. As the months went by, and I could see the babe growing inside me, it became easier. I knew you would live on through our child.”

  A lump formed in his throat, and he swallowed it. “God, why did this happen? Neither one of us deserved this. I hope you didn’t have a difficult time having Mary Elizabeth.”

  Brandon tried to crawl away, but she pulled him back. “I had an easy delivery, only six hours. When I saw her, I saw you in her face. I thanked God every day for giving me such a precious gift. The pain of losing you lessened. She became my reason for living.”

  Henry smiled at her. “I’m glad you had her. I just wish I could have been there when she was born. It must have been difficult to lose both your parents at once.”

  “They came down with influenza and died three weeks apart. Father died first, then my mother,” she explained.

  “I’m sorry I wasn’t with you,” he commiserated. “I know how much you loved them.”

  “That was when I truly grew scared. As I told you before, I found out I only had three hundred pounds and a few pieces of furniture. I know I wasn’t thinking clearly at the time. You would not have left me without resources.” Her anguished plea tugged at his soul.

  “I don’t understand why you never received my solicitor’s letter,” he mused, keeping any condemnation from his voice. “I can understand why you were so scared.”

  “I was terrified when I moved into that cottage with just Mary Elizabeth.” She looked over at him with hope in her eyes. “Brandon was such a good friend. I hate to think what I would have done if I hadn’t had his help.”

  “Well, as I’ve said before, I’m glad you had someone, but I just wish you had not married him,” Henry replied, trying to keep anger out of his tone.

  “When he came to me and asked me to marry him, my first reaction was a resounding no. I thought of my choices, and there were only three. Contact your family, go live with Aunt Miriam or marry Brandon.” She looked at him, her eyes seeking his understanding.

  “Why didn’t you go to Lady Helton?” he asked, again keeping his tone even. “You seemed quite close to her when we first met.”

  “I feared your father would find out about Mary Elizabeth if I lived in London, and I didn’t want to be a burden to Aunt Miriam,” she explained. “I never told you how bad it was living with your parents. I asked God to help me make the right decision. Ultimately, I chose what was best for Mary Elizabeth. She needed a father, and I admit it, I didn’t want to live alone.”

  “I understand that would be frightening, since you had never lived alone before.” Pain filled his voice. “When did you marry him?”

  “The fall of 1816, and we moved to Doncaster right away.” With pleading eyes, she implored, “I never wanted to consummate the marriage, but it would not have been fair to my husband. I had taken vows. I had to honor them.”

  It tore him up when she talked of her marriage. Somehow, he had to find the strength to forgive her and accept she did it for their daughter. At least he now had more knowledge of the workings of his wife’s mind.

  A few tendrils of her golden hair escaped the chignon at the nape of her neck, and she tucked them behind her ear. How he had loved to bury his face in that tangle of curls and breathe in her tantalizing scent. He longed for the days when their love was unencumbered by the circumstances that had divided them.

  Wanting to give her hope he would eventually accept what happened, he smiled. “I’m glad we talked today. I feel lighter. This is a start toward healing from all this.” He looked up at the sky and realized the sky was darkening. “It’s getting cloudy, so we need to return to the house.”

  “Oh goodness. I can’t believe we’ve been talking for this long. I’ll get the children so we can return.”

  Melody woke the girls and called Roderick to her while he gathered the blanket and basket, then placed them under the seat. He took Brandon from her, helped her climb into the cart and handed her the child. When they arrived at the house, Melody returned the children to the nursery, and he took the cart to the stables.

  After that day, things improved between them. It was as if they had silently agreed to avoid discussing what happened, but it hung there, right under the surface. They still did not grow as close as Melody would have liked. He still could not forgive and forget. Guilt assailed him. God would want him to move past this. His time with the monks had taught him the value of prayer, so he started praying daily to find forgiveness in his heart.

  At the end of the month, Henry had to go to London. His investiture at court was scheduled, and he had to make his first appearance in the House of Lords. He had to present his maiden speech to his peers, so he worked on it daily with Stallings. He told Melody he would be gone for at least a fortnight. He also planned to meet with his new solicitor regarding issues with some of his investments.

  Since Stallings and Mansfield were coming with him, they traveled by coach. It made the trip longer. However, they still made decent time, because the weather stayed clear. Of course, he should have wished for rain. His crops needed relief from the dry summer desperately.

  Once they arrived at Montgomery House, Henry went to his rooms and freshened up. He dressed and made his way to White’s, where he planned to meet Weston. When he arrived at his club, he located his friend in the smoking room. He joined him at his table and motioned for the attendant to bring him a brandy, then lit a cheroot.

  Once settled, he asked, “Have you been waiting long?”

  “I just sat down a few minutes ago. I received your letter with your news regarding your wife. What a shock it must have been.” His friend relaxed in his chair after sitting his glass of brandy on the table. “Are you reconciled to the situation yet?”

  “I’m trying, it’s difficult, though,” he replied. “It’s tearing me up inside
when I think of her with another man. I never thought I was jealous, evidently I am. I can’t seem to dismiss it and let it go. I know she believed I had died, but still, it feels like she betrayed me. I’ve been avoiding her and haven’t spent much time with my daughter either.”

  “I’m amazed you’re a father,” he said. “Congratulations, old friend.”

  “Mary Elizabeth is a little beauty. She looks like Helen did as a child. I’d just made the decision to spend more time with Melody and my daughter, then I had to come here.” He sighed, frustrated with the timing.

  Weston gave him a reassuring smile. “Everything will work out. You need to give it time. After all, you and your wife have been apart for three years. From what you told me, Melody had to face quite a few challenges while you were gone, and you told me your parents treated her badly.”

  “Evidently my parents, especially my mother, treated her even worse than I knew,” he retorted. “My wife didn’t want to worry me, so she kept most of it to herself. I know I shouldn’t be so angry with her, but I can’t seem to let it go. It’s eating me alive.”

  With concern in his eyes, his friend told him, “I can see that. Let me assure you, your wife was devastated when she heard you had died. I spoke with her at the funeral, and she could barely talk.”

  “I understand how hard it must have been for her.” He hung his head, feeling beaten down from it all. “It doesn’t make it any easier to deal with, though. I wish I didn’t have to be in town to make this damned speech. The timing couldn’t be worse. I tell you, I’m dreading it. I’m not a politician…I’m a soldier.”

  Weston leaned forward. “You’ll do fine. I remember when I had to deliver mine. It’s tough on the nerves. When do you go in front of the House?”