The Uncooperative Warrior

by Sarah Noffke

“If you ever touch me again, I will pluck each of your long eyelashes out with my teeth and feed them to seagulls. Are we clear?”

  Rudolf retracted his arm, a scorned look on his face. “My lady, I think you misunderstand my gestures. I only mean to make you swoon and fall irrevocably in love with me.”

  Liv turned to face the bar. “Yeah, I don’t think I will.” She tried again to get the bartender’s attention, with no luck. “Damn it! Am I invisible?”

  “If you are, it’s the worst invisibility spell I’ve ever seen,” Rudolf said, waving his fingers slightly. The bartender looked up as if someone had shouted her name, her attention landing directly on the fae. She set down the drinks she was in the middle of making and hurried over.

  “Hello, my dear mortal,” Rudolf began, his tone melodic.

  “What can I get for you?” the woman asked, bending low over the bar, her cleavage popping out.

  Rudolf leaned away and waved in Liv’s direction. “Whatever my saucy friend would like.”

  Liv slapped her hand on the bar. “About damn time. Yes, I’d like nachos, and not spa nachos with cauliflower and vegan cheese. I want the real thing. And a side of fries. A rum and coke. No, make it two rum and cokes. Oh, and a side of bacon. No, make it two sides of bacon.”

  Not having written down anything, the bartender looked at Rudolf. “For you, sir?”

  “I’ll have water,” he said politely. “You do have that here? Is it safe to drink?”

  She giggled as if he’d told a joke. “Of course. This isn’t North Hollywood.”

  Liv refused to talk to the fae until she’d crammed three strips of bacon into her mouth and finished her first rum and coke. Feeling more herself, she glanced at Rudolf, who was regarding her with a serene smile.

  “You are the freshest specimen I’ve set my eyes on in a very long time!” he told her, leaning his head on his palm and gazing longingly at her.

  Liv wiped her mouth with the back of her sleeve and burped loudly, making several nearby patrons turn and give her rude stares.

  “What exactly is your deal?” she asked, pushing the empty plate of bacon out of the way to make way for the pile of nachos that was the size of a small bulldog.

  “Actually, that’s the reason I asked you on this date.”

  “It’s not a date,” she responded, picking the best place to attack the nachos from. “And you didn’t ask. You demanded, and then sent a threatening note to my place of work.”

  Rudolf watched as Liv crammed three chips into her mouth at once. “What business do you have with the brownies?”

  “Reg-tion tip tuf,” she said with her mouth still full.

  He nodded. “Oh, right. You’re going to have me believe that you’re working on House business, are you?”

  “Why else would I squeeze my ass through those tiny doors and sit in a dusty office with a smelly elf?”

  “It has occurred to me, Ms. Liv Beaufont, Warrior of the House of Seven, that you are different from most magicians,” Rudolf said, picking up his water glass and eyeing it. Then, seemingly thinking better of it, he set it back down. “What is your story, and how may I help you?”

  Liv shook her head, pushing the nachos away, feeling her stomach expand. “Oh, no. I know better now than to enter into any agreement with you.”

  “Not all agreements with a fae are bad,” he reasoned. “Is it so terrible that you’re in my presence now?”

  “Well, I just lost my appetite, so yes.”

  “That’s because you’ve had enough bacon to kill a horse,” Rudolf informed her.

  “Horses don’t eat bacon,” Liv stated.

  “My point is that since I’ve seen that ring of yours, well, it’s caused a certain reaction in me.”

  Liv straightened. “Wait, that’s your point? That wasn’t what you were saying a second ago. I didn’t know any of this was about my ring.”

  “Well, you do now,” Rudolf said definitively. “And it’s true. I can’t recall the memory linked to that ring, and that bothers me very much. I almost feel as though, well, I have an excellent memory, but it feels as though I’ve forgotten something. And it’s not a regrettable decision like making out with an elf or playing hopscotch with a gnome. Oh, no, this feels like something I forgot without meaning to.”

  Liv leaned forward and grabbed Rudolf’s shirt, pulling him closer. “Are you serious? Like there’s something someone covered up?”

  Rudolf didn’t seem to mind her forceful gesture. He actually leaned closer to her. “I do like your style, but wish we were in a more fitting setting. Preferably my place? Yours, I suspect, is much too small for such activities.”

  Liv pushed him away. “Be serious. What are you trying to tell me?”

  Rudolf straightened his tunic. “I’m not entirely sure. I was uncertain whether to say anything at all. However, you seem to be an honorable magician, and I did respect your family once. And I suppose this is a mystery we all need to solve since my suspicion is that it involves us all, or at least more than just you and the magicians.”

  Liv turned and faced him directly. “So, are you saying you’re going to help me?”

  He thought for a moment. “I’m not sure what I’m helping you with.”

  “The ring,” Liv stated, pulling it from her pants and showing it to him. “I know it’s supposed to tell me something. Maybe multiple somethings. And if it causes a reaction in you, then there might be all sorts of things it will uncover. But I’m new to this, and I don’t know where to look. And now you’re saying it made you remember something you forgot. I think that’s worth investigating.”

  Rudolf’s gaze stayed on the ring for a long moment, then he looked at her directly. “I think you’re right, Liv. I think that there is much the ring can tell you.”

  “Will you help me?”

  His eyebrow arched as he gave her a wolfish grin. “Be careful what you ask from a fae.”

  Liv sank back on her stool. “Never mind, then. I can’t afford to be your servant for a dozen years or whatever you’d have me do.”

  She was putting the ring back in her pocket when Rudolf reached out and grabbed her hand. “This isn’t an agreement. You have my word on that. I suspect there is something at play much bigger than you, or maybe even me. For that reason, yes, Liv Beaufont, Warrior of the House of Seven, I will try to help you.”

  Liv stared at the fae for several long seconds before nodding. “So what does that mean?”

  He released her hand. “I’m not certain yet. I’ll try to remember what I have forgotten—the memory associated with the ring. I’ll do what I can, but I fear I might remember a hundred years too late, and that will do you no good since you’ll be—”

  “Old and gray,” Liv said, cutting him off. “Yeah, that’s a chance I’ll have to take.” She held out her hand to him. “And you have yourself a deal.”

  He didn’t take her hand but rather smiled widely at her. “Oh, a deal means we mutually benefit. So what is it that you offer, my sweet?”

  “What is it that you want?” Liv asked. “And if you say my servitude or firstborn, no deal.”

  “Something that has long resided in the House of Seven,” Rudolf answered. “Upon the time that I remember that which I’ve been forced to forget—a memory I believe has been erased from the minds of all fae and other creatures alike—I ask that you reunite me with the treasure that lives in the ponds of the House of Seven.”

  Liv waited for Rudolf to laugh and say he was just kidding. When he didn’t, she lowered her chin and said, “Are you flipping serious? You want me to reunite you with that monster? It once tried to drown me.”

  “I wouldn’t call it a monster,” Rudolf countered. “It’s a small trinket, taken away from me long ago. I know it resides at the bottom of the pond, although the wards on the House of Seven prevent me from getting to it myself. But you… You could dive down there and get it for me.”

  “And face the monster,” Liv reminded him.

  He nod
ded. “Yes. It will be difficult for you, but it’s a fair deal. My memories will shine a light on what you need to know, and freeing that creature will be good for all.”

  Liv didn’t know what possessed her, but she extended her hand and offered it to Rudolf. “Fine. You have yourself a deal.”

  Chapter Nineteen

  “You did what?” Rory yelled, his face blossoming into an awful shade of red. “Are you insane?”

  Liv put down Junebug, who immediately ran off on some cunning mission. The kitten had figured out how to get into closed drawers and scale the drapes so he could sleep in a bowl on the top of the hutch in the kitchen. Of course, when he awoke with a start, the bowl fell over the edge, crashing to the floor and sending shards of glass everywhere. The kitten was unharmed, having landed on his feet.

  “Rudolf said he could help me.” Liv stood looking up at the giant, who had his shoulders pinned up by his ears. “Don’t you find it incredibly strange that he admits there’s something connected to the ring blocked in his memory?”

  Liv pulled her mother’s ring out of her pocket and thrust it up so that Rory could see it better. He flinched as if the sight caused him sudden pain. “There is something strange about the ring, I’ll admit.”

  “So maybe you have a memory blocked, too.”

  Rory looked away from the ring, shaking his head. “It’s all just speculation. How do you know that what he remembers will be true and not something he made up?”

  “Because…because…” Liv’s voice trailed away since she was unable to find an adequate reply to the question.

  “Don’t you know that you’re never supposed to enter into an agreement with a fae?”

  “Yes, I know it’s binding,” Liv said, yawning. “I wouldn’t have even been there talking to him if I hadn’t unknowingly entered into an agreement with him already.”

  Rory sighed dramatically, throwing his hands up in the air, his fingertips nearly brushing the ceiling. “Oh, no, this wasn’t the first time you agreed to something with a fae?”

  Liv blushed. “He said we should get a drink and I said sure. I had no intention of doing it, but when I found out that—”

  “Not doing so would end in servitude,” Rory interrupted her.

  “Yeah. How was I supposed to know?”

  Bending over, Rory picked up Junebug as he scaled the furniture on his way to the mantle over the fireplace. “You’d know that if you had read the book I gave you.”

  Liv didn’t have an answer for that. “Look, if the Fae remembers what he’s forgotten, I’ll make good on my promise.”

  “How?”

  She thought for a moment. “I don’t know. I guess I’ll go fishing in the pond at the House of Seven.”

  “You do realize that if you aren’t able to give him what you promised, you’ll be—”

  “His servant,” Liv said, cutting him off this time.

  “You’re not taking this seriously enough,” Rory said, more worked up than she’d ever seen him. “The fae aren’t to be messed with. The fact that you spoke to him in the first place is worrisome. You should have known better.”

  “In my defense, he spoke to me first,” Liv said, watching as two kittens wrestled on the hearth of the fireplace. Finally she pulled her gaze away and held up the ring again. “What do you think about the wall with the grooves in the library?”

  Rory relinquished a bit of his anger and sighed. “I’m not sure. You’re going to have to check it out more thoroughly, but make sure you’re not watched. That’s important.”

  Liv nodded. “Yeah, I agree. I’ll try to stop by there tonight before the heist and check it out.”

  Rory’s head flipped up suddenly. “Heist?”

  “Yeah, I partnered with brownies to break into the Natural History Museum. No big deal. Just risking my life for something you hold valuable.”

  “Well, don’t get caught,” Rory stated matter-of-factly. “I want that sword.”

  “Your consideration and concern are overwhelming,” Liv joked.

  “You’re a big girl and can handle yourself.”

  “Funny that you berate me for making a deal with a fae but don’t even blink when you learn that I’m working with other magical creatures on a major break-in.”

  “Fae can’t be trusted,” Rory stated. “Brownies don’t have any side agendas. They are simply dumb creatures. And your mission to recover the sword is important—”

  “It’s important to you,” Liv cut in.

  “And need I remind you that you made a deal with a fae for something that’s intangible? A memory? You might be reading more into this ring and the conspiracies you think the House is hiding than is really there.”

  “You don’t think the House is hiding something?” Liv asked.

  “I think they are protecting their own asses with outdated laws that serve only them,” Rory stated. “That’s all I know.”

  “Well, I can’t argue with you there.”

  “However, the sword is a tangible object, and once you retrieve it, you’ll be given something in return. That’s a fair deal. I won’t punish you if you don’t make good on your end. That’s how fair deals work, but fae don’t have the same moral structure as the rest of us.”

  “Do giants like any other magical creatures?” Liv asked. “Magicians are corrupt. Brownies are dumb. Fae are untrustworthy. Lynxes are deceptive.”

  Rory took a seat in his armchair, which was covered with handwoven blankets. “The truth is that all species have their shortcomings. If you can recognize what those are, then you can be on guard. That’s not being cynical. It’s being conscientious and careful.”

  “What are the giants’ shortcomings?”

  “Too much patience for magicians.”

  “Ha-ha,” Liv said with no real humor in her voice. “Hey, I meant to ask, what are you doing working at that nursing home?”

  Rory froze. His eyes were careful as he considered his reply. “You heard about that?”

  “Yes, and after reflecting on the information, I’ve concluded that you’re volunteering there out of the kindness of your heart.”

  “I’m not volunteering,” he argued.

  “But when I asked John about it, he said you were wearing a visitor’s badge, which would mean—”

  “I’m collecting the tears of the elderly,” Rory interrupted. “It’s a key ingredient for a powerful potion.”

  Liv narrowed her eyes at him. “Nope. You already told me that giants don’t mess with potions.”

  “Well, I’ve decided to start,” he said dryly, glaring at her impatiently. “There’s a small pest in my life that I’m trying to exterminate.”

  Liv wagged her finger at him. “I haven’t figured out your game yet, but I’m going to.”

  “I think your energy can be better spent.”

  Grabbing her bag off the couch, Liv fastened it on her back. “Yeah, probably, but I like the idea of figuring out your secrets. For now, I’m going to go prepare for tonight’s mission to recover your grandfather’s sword.”

  Rory held up his hand to stop her. “Although I appreciate your motivation on this project, please note that actually recovering the sword will take a long time. I’ve spent years trying to break those wards, and my expectation is that it will take you even longer to get past them.”

  Liv scoffed at the giant. “Well, you should go get to work on the sword you’re making as my reward because I plan on taking back Turbinger tonight.”

  Rory moved only a step, but it was enough to block Liv’s path to the door. “Be careful, Liv. You don’t have to rush this. I’ve gone my entire life without that sword. Another few years are nothing.”

  Liv looked up at the giant, pure conviction in her eyes. “Sounds like you’re overdue to have it in your possession. And don’t worry about me. I’ve got tiny elves watching my back.”

  Chapter Twenty

  It took Liv a lot longer than she would have liked to find the wall with the symbols in the libr
ary in the House of Seven. Even more frustrating was that the area wasn’t vacant, as she would have desired.

  “Are you looking for Sophia again?” Stefan asked, sitting in a high-back chair, his boots propped on an ottoman.

  Liv halted, wishing she’d seen him first. “I wasn’t, actually. I’m just browsing for books.”

  Stefan closed the hardback he was reading and laid it in his lap. “You’ve come to the right place. “There are over a hundred thousand volumes in this place, although most can’t be found unless they want to be.”

  Liv laughed. “That’s ridiculous. They’re books, not Sophia.”

  “Books are exactly like your little sister,” Stefan began. “They are compact treasures that appear ordinary, but once opened, reveal more magic and power than anyone thought could possibly be contained in such a small entity.”

  For a few long seconds, Liv studied Stefan, trying to gauge exactly what he might know about Sophia.

  His laughter broke the tension building in her chest. “Of course, that’s just my observation of the girl. I don’t suppose I know much about her at all.”

  “No?” Liv posed.

  “Well, I know that she lights up when you come around. That much is obvious. She has clearly missed having you around.”

  “Sophia never really knew me,” Liv stated.

  “Yet, you two get along like you had spent the last five years together.” He held up the book he’d been reading. On the front cover in gold letters were the words, Demons and Where They Hide. “And to expand on what you were saying about books, I think they are very much alive. They have the power to spark ideas, breathe life into the nonexistent, and transport us to another realm. The books in this library happen to be a bit more outwardly cunning than those found in mortals’ libraries, although even those volumes are full of power. These books just happen to know that they contain greatness and guard it from us, maybe waiting to decide if we’re ready and worthy for the wisdom they offer.”

  Liv let out a long, loud yawn. “Do you often break into monologues? Because if so, I’ll need to be warned before the next one.”