by Becca Steele
Smiling, I nodded. “I think so, yeah. Or at least, everything feels less confused in my head. Your brother’s a good listener. Both of you are, in fact.” Turning to Cassius, I met his eyes. “Thanks for taking the time to do this.”
“I did have an ulterior motive. It was the excuse I needed to get everyone here so I could kick their asses at bowling.” He waved his hand towards the bowling alley that stood at the end of the pier, on the seafront. “You wanna join us?”
Hanging out with Cassius and Lena was one thing, but with their friends there as well? I shook my head. “Thanks, but no thanks. I need to get back and make a start on my homework, plus I have to send some design sketches to a client.” Client. I actually had people who were willing to pay for my designs—it hadn’t been a one-off. Of course, it was all very sporadic at the moment, with my schoolwork taking priority, but it gave me hope for the future.
“Okay. Lemme get your bike from my car.” Cassius jogged away before I could reply, and I sat next to Lena on one of the wooden benches at the bottom of the pier.
“How can I repay you for all this? You’ve made my life so much better since you came into it.” I glanced over at her, and she grinned.
“You have nothing to repay me for. That’s what friends are for.” She pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. “Are you sure you don’t want to join us?”
“I’m sure.” It wasn’t that I didn’t want to, but meeting Cassius’ college friends? All of whom were part of the most powerful families in Alstone? I wasn’t quite ready for that. That was so far out of my comfort zone.
Cassius returned with my bike, and I took it from him, swinging my leg over the saddle.
As I waved goodbye and started pedalling away, I heard someone shouting Cassius’ name in a commanding tone. Curious, I stopped pedalling and turned to see a guy in a leather jacket with messy black hair and a brooding look on his face stalking in the direction of the bowling alley. Caiden Cavendish. My heart rate kicked up a notch—no doubt about it, he was absolutely gorgeous, even more so than when he’d attended AHS, but to me, he came across as completely intimidating. As I watched him, I saw him suddenly stop dead as another shout came from behind him. His face completely transformed with a huge grin, as a beautiful dark-haired girl ducked under his arm and he pulled her into him. She stared up at him with an adoring smile, and he leaned down to kiss the top of her head before they both made their way over to Cassius and Lena with matching smiles on their faces.
As I pedalled away, it suddenly clicked with me. The girl with him was Winter—the one Cassius had kissed. Well, I guess it had worked. They looked as if they were both completely smitten with each other. A sudden pang of longing hit me. I wanted this. Wanted to be with someone who wasn’t afraid to be seen with me. Someone that was as interested in me as I was in them.
The hard, desperate way Carter had kissed me showed me he still had feelings for me, but would that be enough? Was I enough for him? Would the photo push him to take action? Would he still find reasons to push me away? I had so many questions, but what I did know was that if he wanted something, I wasn’t going to settle. If he wanted me, he was the one that needed to make the decision to be with me properly.
The ball was in his court, now.
32
What the fuck was I doing here? Pulling up at the pier car park, which was quiet thanks to the time of year and the fact it was a weeknight, I easily spotted Cassius Drummond’s huge SUV next to a matte-black Audi R8. Parking at the opposite end of the car park, I slid from my truck, palming my keys. My head was fucked. Raine’s words kept echoing through my mind, and that picture of her with Cassius that she’d posted… Fuck.
Because I was quite clearly a sadist, I opened up the social media again, staring at the photo. She looked so happy. Anyone could see how genuine her smile was. They looked like a proper couple, staring into each other’s eyes with the sunset behind them. I sucked in a harsh breath. It hurt to see her happiness and know that it was caused by another man.
She had hundreds of likes. And the comments… I wish I’d never looked. Both at the comments that congratulated her, saying what a great couple they made, and even worse, the comments that implied Cassius was too good for her. He’d be fucking lucky to have her.
I’d be fucking lucky to have her.
What was I doing?
I wanted Raine Laurent.
I wanted her to be mine.
The revelation seared straight through me, and I knew I had to get out of there. I couldn’t stomach seeing her with him in person. Not now. Not ever.
The next morning, the revelation still burned through me. Confusion, anger, and jealousy had warred within me all night, leaving me unable to sleep. I’d driven around aimlessly for hours when it was clear my head was too fucked up to think straight. Then as soon as I was home, the same thoughts were still running rampant in my head. Hence the lack of sleep.
The school day passed in a blur. To make things worse, Raine’s name was on everyone’s lips again, after someone had posted the picture of her and Cassius on the AHS gossip account. This time, though, it was more…envious. Envy that someone like her had managed to attract the attention of Cassius Drummond. Every time I heard someone make a malicious comment, I had to bite my tongue, and by the end of the day, I was wound up so tightly, I needed to work out my frustrations or I was going to snap.
Instead of going to my final class, I headed to the gym so I could lose myself in the mindless routine of weight training, before I met up with the rest of the football team for our additional training session.
The gym didn’t help. All it did was give me a pounding headache. We had a massive game the following week against Highnam Academy, and I had to use every opportunity to practice, but I couldn’t seem to focus during training.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Kian hissed, after I’d let myself get taken down by a slide tackle I should’ve seen coming a mile off. “This game is gonna be our make-or-break game, not to mention it’s the first one I’m allowed to play in since my suspension. You’re the captain—get your shit together.”
“I know.” I scrubbed a hand down my face, defeated.
The coach blew his whistle for a break, and we jogged over to the side of the pitch, grabbing our bottles of water.
“Do you want me to set up a fight?” Kian asked in a low tone, after looking around him to make sure no one was paying us any attention.
“Yeah. Or…fuck, I don’t know. My head’s fucked up right now,” I muttered.
He studied me closely, pulling his lip ring between his teeth. “You know what…you haven’t been the same since Halloween. Did something happen then?” His voice lowered further, and he shuffled his feet. “Is there anything you want to talk about?”
I was taken aback. Conversations like this between me and Kian didn’t happen. Ever. We didn’t get deep. From his worried expression, though, I knew he wouldn’t let it drop, and it was killing me to keep all this inside. I made a snap decision to confide in him. “That girl I was with at Fright Night? It was Raine.”
His head whipped up to mine, his eyes wide. “What the fuck? No way! But she was like, hot as fuck.”
“Yeah, she was,” I agreed. Is, I added in my head.
His gaze sharpened. “I see. It’s obvious now.”
“What’s obvious?” I tried to tamp down the rising panic that was threatening to engulf me.
“You want her.”
I stared at him. “How…” I trailed off.
“Come on, I’m not blind. I see the way you look at her. I’ve seen the two of you together, at the party and, y’know, the photos and stuff. And let’s not forget our fight over her. Remember? My first practice after my suspension?”
“I remember,” I gritted out, but he hadn’t finished speaking.
“I just hadn’t realised you’d had a thing for her for so long.” He grinned. “You know she’s with Cassius Drummond now, right?”
“
She is not.” My voice came out as a low, challenging growl, and Kian laughed.
“You’ve got it bad. What’s stopping you? Think it would be weird with Ana—wait, do you still want Ana?”
“What? Ana? I already told you I was never going back there again.”
“Just checking. Okay, so what’s the problem, then?”
“She’s…she’s been targeted because of me. All the fucking rumours.”
“Rumours which you started,” he commented dryly. “So what about the rumours? People will get over it.”
My mouth twisted, and my shoulders slumped. “I just don’t want her to be hurt because of me.”
“That’s all very noble of you, but shouldn’t that be her decision as well?” He swigged from his water bottle, running his hand over his mouth, before returning his attention to me.
I sighed and filled in the rest of the gaps. “It’s not only that. There’s the fact that my parents are always on my case comparing me to her.”
His eyes darkened, and I held my breath, knowing that parents were a touchy subject for him. His parents…they were selfish assholes, to put it bluntly. “Who gives a fuck what your parents think? Seriously, mate? That’s just…” He shook his head, his frustration and disappointment clear.
A grimace crossed my face. “You know how they are. Fuck. It sounds really stupid when I say it out loud, doesn’t it?”
“Yeah, it really does. Sort your shit out, Carter. If you actually want to be with her, and she wants to be with you, man the fuck up and do it. Stop making bullshit excuses.”
I gaped at him. “Harsh, mate.”
“It’s true, and you know it.” He gave me a pointed look.
“Yeah,” I said quietly. “A while ago, I asked her if she wanted to be with me, in secret, and she said no. At the time I didn’t get it, but now…” I trailed off, realising how it must’ve looked to her. “Now I get why she was so upset. Who wants to hide their relationship? I wasn’t ashamed to be seen with her. It wasn’t fair of me to ask her to keep it a secret. She didn’t deserve that.”
Next to me, Kian went very still.
“Kian? You okay?”
“No. No, I’m not,” he mumbled. His eyes closed briefly, and then an apprehensive expression came over his face. “I need to tell you something. I…uh…I’ve been. I’ve been having a secret relationship of my own. And I think it’s beyond time it was out in the open. Time I was out.” He swallowed hard, dropping his gaze from mine. “I’m with Preston.”
“You what? Like—”
“As in, Preston is my boyfriend.”
I didn’t even know what to say. “I didn’t know you were into men,” I said eventually, shrugging.
He smiled then, glancing over at Preston, who was doing hamstring stretches at the side of the pitch. “I’m into him.” A sigh escaped him. “Really, really fucking into him. I asked him to keep it quiet. It was all new to me, you know? But—” He broke off and waved Preston over. When Preston reached us, Kian stepped forwards and put his arm around Preston’s waist, then planted a hard, possessive kiss on his lips. Preston stumbled in shock, but then a huge smile spread across his face. A couple of the guys on the team wolf-whistled in the background.
“I take it the secret’s out?” Preston looked between me and Kian, and I couldn’t help grinning. The news had shocked me, mainly because I’d never had any inkling of Kian being into guys, let alone being in an actual relationship. A relationship with anyone, for that matter. But looking at them right now, anyone could see how happy they were together, and that was enough for me. Kian was one of my best mates, and he deserved happiness, and Preston was a good guy.
“I’m happy for you both,” I told them, and I meant it. “How long has this been going on?”
It was Kian who answered me. “Since Fright Night.”
Now it was my turn to smirk. “I wasn’t the only one to have a secret hook-up over Halloween, then.” Kian grinned at me, and I returned it, suddenly feeling lighter.
We continued the second half of training, and somehow my unexpectedly serious conversation with Kian had helped more than anything else had so far. My concentration was back, and the team gelled, working together instinctively. We didn’t always manage it, but when we did, it was pure magic. We were untouchable, unstoppable.
I kept an eye on Kian and Preston until practice was over and we’d showered and headed to our cars, needing to make sure there’d be no trouble from any of our teammates after their announcement. After seeing how no one on the team seemed to have a problem with Kian coming out as openly being with Preston, or at least, not to his face, I realised something. We were the kings of the school. We had power. People wouldn’t dare to go up against us—they didn’t want to risk a drop to the bottom of the food chain. If Raine wanted to be with me, I’d protect her. Shield her from any hurt. Try my fucking hardest to make it better.
My head was clear for the first time in weeks, and I knew what I had to do. First, I needed to have a talk with my dad. Next, I needed to check out what exactly was going on with Raine and Cassius Drummond. And then…then, I needed to come up with a plan to make Raine Laurent realise that she was mine.
33
“I really don’t want to do this,” I muttered under my breath as I reluctantly opened the door of Imogen’s car. To say I’d been completely shocked when she’d invited me to go with her to watch the football match was an understatement. Aside for the fact that we’d never actively hung out before outside of school, she was most definitely part of Carter’s group of friends, and therefore not someone who would ever choose to hang out with me. Carter and I… I closed my eyes briefly. The photo hadn’t worked. He’d kept his distance from me all week, not even sparing me a look despite my constant glances in his direction.
Imogen had cornered me after drama club on Monday and asked me how I was doing, with all the gossip that had been flying around the school about Cassius Drummond, and I’d told her nothing was going on and Cassius and I were just friends. She’d made it a point to come over and talk to me all through the school week, just little moments here and there, but I really appreciated the gesture.
Anyway, all this had ended up with me agreeing to go to the football game with her. Lena had flat-out refused to come, but she’d encouraged me to go. Maybe I was being a masochist, but the thought of seeing Carter in his element, running all over the field, was a mental image that I definitely wanted to replace with the real thing.
Unfortunately, what I hadn’t realised was that I was being taken to the game with Anastasia.
“Hi.” Imogen beamed at me as I slid into the back seat, placing my jacket down next to me, and I returned her smile. “This is Emmeline, Ana’s sister.” She indicated to the pretty girl in the front seat, who gave me a brief smile. I recognised her from school—she was a couple of years below us, so I’d never spoken to her, but I’d seen her around. “And you know Ana.”
We eyed each other warily across the back seat; then Ana gave a small huff and an eye-roll. “No need to look at me like that. I won’t bite.”
“No, but you might try and kiss me again.” I laughed, then suddenly stopped dead. Why had I said that? And to Anastasia, of all people?
She stared at me for a moment, and then a laugh burst out of her. “I think you’re safe. My tastes extend to men, and men only.” Then she gave me an actual smile that reached her eyes, which I returned. What was happening? I thought back to Carter’s suspicions that Anastasia had been the person behind the money theft and the vandalising of my locker. Was this sudden change prompted by guilt?
“Am I being set up? Why are you guys being nice to me?”
Anastasia’s gaze flicked to Imogen’s in the rear-view mirror, and Imogen frowned at her. She pursed her lips, then turned back to me. “Believe me, you weren’t my first choice of people to be around. But you’re not so bad.” She waved a casual hand in my direction, her manicured nails glinting with some kind of subtle, shimmery polish.
“You scrub up well. If I didn’t know you, I might be interested in being friends.”
“Um. Thanks? I think?” I sat back in my seat, clipping my seat belt into place as Imogen pulled away from my house. I stared down at myself. I wasn’t even wearing anything special.
Okay, that was a lie. I’d made way, way more effort than I would normally. Not even because the thought of seeing Carter sent alternate shivers of excitement and dread racing through me. I had to remind myself that he wasn’t interested anymore. I wanted to do it for myself. For me. I was done hiding. Yeah, I didn’t have to wear make-up and get all dressed up. No one should have to, if they didn’t want to. But I wanted to. I liked wearing make-up. I liked experimenting with clothes. My desire to remain in the shadows…I hadn’t realised until recently just how stifling that had been. I was trying to suppress that side of me that wanted to get creative and try new things, and I was ready to let it free.
There hadn’t been that much of a change, in reality. I had on light make-up, and I’d curled my hair so it hung in waves down my back. I’d paired tight jeans with my tan leather boots and a black V-necked jumper that clung to my curves.
We parked at the school, and I followed the girls to the stands. Of course, we had to sit right by the football pitch, in the prime seating area.
“I’m not sure if it’s a good idea to be this close to the players.” I hesitated in front of the seats.
“All the players, or one in particular?” Imogen gave me a knowing look, and I sighed.
“I might just go and sit up there.” I pointed to the empty seats on the end of the row, right near the top of the stands.
“No, you’re sitting here.” Imogen dragged me down the row and pointed to a seat. “There.” She sat on one side of me, and Anastasia sat on the other side, with her sister next to her. “Okay, now you’re here. Do you know anything about football? Anything at all?”