by Jill Shalvis
“But we both agreed this was only temporary, from the very beginning. I know, I remember.” She watched him very carefully. “Would you have wanted it to be...more?”
“No.” But wasn’t that the kicker? He was no longer sure about that.
CHAPTER 11
“SO...DID YOU do the deed with Zach yet?”
The three of them, Hannah, Alexi and Tara, were in the kitchen for their nightly ritual—junk food.
Hannah stared at Alexi, thankful she’d already swallowed the last bite of her brownie, which was tonight’s dessert of choice.
The three of them had been meeting like this since they’d opened the lodge. It was their favorite time of the day. Usually they discussed the comings and goings of the guests, or their employees, or even financial stuff, but mostly they just sat around and enjoyed each other and the peace and quiet.
“Well? Did you?”
“I don’t really want to talk about it,” Hannah said.
“Really?” Alexi looked at her, shocked at the thought that one of them would hold out on good gossip. “Why not?”
“Because...” Why not? “Because...”
“Because you’re falling for him.”
“Really? Let me see.” Tara came close and inspected Hannah’s face carefully. “Hmmm...not necessarily true,” she said over her shoulder to Alexi. “It could just be the triple decker ice cream she consumed for lunch, coupled with the five brownies she just inhaled.”
“You’re saying that look is caused by sugar overload and not male overload?” Alexi asked.
The two of them stood there discussing her, staring into her face, as if she wasn’t right there. Laughing, Hannah pushed them both away. “Go on, both of you. If you see anything in my eyes, it’s annoyance. At you. Good night.”
She escaped, then leaned weakly against the kitchen door, staring at the curved staircase that led to the rooms.
Was Zach up there?
She realized she was holding her breath, and she slowly let it out, knowing it shouldn’t matter where he was.
If only that was the truth.
She forced herself to go directly to her room, where she wandered around until the knock came.
To her shock, it was Zach, and he looked every bit as baffled and uncertain as she was. It was a good look on him though, and just seeing him made her hurt.
When she just stared at him, he sent her one of his most irresistible grins. “The Schwartzes are watching, you know. Waiting to see how long it takes me to talk you into letting me in. You’re killing my reputation.”
“You can’t come in,” she told him. “I might do something embarrassing, like throw myself at you.”
He sent her a tight smile. “I’m fairly certain I’ve alienated you enough today so that my virtue is safe.”
Unable to hold back her own smile at that, she stepped back. “Come in then. At your own risk, of course.”
“Of course.” He moved past her, into the middle of the room, then turned back to face her. “I gave up my room.”
“You...what?”
“The inn is overbooked. Tara was downstairs tearing out her hair.”
“Oh, poor thing. I need to go help.”
“You worked a double shift already. She’s got it handled. But I gave up my room, and—” He sent her another one of his smiles, this one touchingly uncertain.
Her heart tugged, which really annoyed her.
“Is your couch still available?” he asked unexpectedly.
“Is my—” She narrowed her eyes and studied him. “No.”
“No?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because I’ll probably forget myself and look into your eyes, which will make me melt, dammit, and then the next thing I know we’ll be...you know, and quite frankly, Zach, my heart just can’t take it.”
“Maybe I want you to melt.” He took a step toward her. “Maybe I’ve thought it all over and decided it doesn’t matter to me what got us together the other night, that I’m just glad it happened.” Another step, and her heart leaped. “Maybe I want it to happen again.” He took the last step between them. “And again.”
He was standing before her now, his face tense, his entire body tense. “Maybe I think that Los Angeles isn’t that far away, that I think we should do whatever it takes to ride this thing through to the end.”
She shook her head, suddenly, terribly, very afraid. “You swallowed too much sea water when you were surfing today. That must be it.”
“Okay, you don’t believe me.” He nodded his understanding. “Hell, I hardly believe it myself. I can give you all the time you need to mull it over.”
“You have only a few days left.”
“That’s not necessarily true.”
She looked at him, wary. “I don’t know what you mean. I thought you didn’t want to leave any loose ends.”
The hurt in her voice was unmistakable, and his fault. “Hannah—”
“No, I already know everything there is to know. Your job, your lifestyle, your everything, doesn’t leave room for any entanglements. Don’t you see? That’s what made it all okay for me, because I knew. At least at first, it was okay.” She sighed. “But afterwards, the truth stared me in the face. I was only kidding myself. I...I felt something more than just lust, and it scares me to death.”
He knew the feeling, all too well. “Hannah...”
“It can’t happen again.”
Yes, he’d thought that, too. But he felt empty just thinking about it.
Totally, completely, devastatingly empty.
“Maybe I need more than a few more days to recover from the shooting,” he said softly.
Her eyes were wide, still wary. “But you love your job.”
“Yeah. But the job could wait. If it had to.”
“Don’t do it. Don’t you dare do something like that for me.”
“How do you know it would be for you?”
“Wouldn’t it?”
“Maybe it’d be for both of us.”
“No.” There was more than a little panic in her voice. “Because you would eventually go back, and it would be worse then, so much, much worse. So just stop it, stop looking at me like that, like you really, really care, okay?”
“Well, how about I don’t look at you at all?” He touched her then, slid his hands up her arms, then back down until just their fingers were connected. Slowly he pulled her close in a hug devastatingly easy and warm. “There.” He buried his face in the soft, vulnerable spot beneath her ear. “I can’t see you. Does that help?”
He was teasing her, still smiling. Hannah could feel him against her skin, and there was no way she could turn him away. “Fine. Stay.” As if it didn’t matter, she shrugged, went into her bedroom and shut the door.
Then she sat on her bed and stared at that shut door, her body and mind at war as to what they wanted from the man on the other side of it.
* * *
HOURS LATER Zach came awake to a low cry from the bedroom, followed by a soft thud. He was off the couch and through the door before he came fully conscious, hitting his knees on the floor in front of the thrashing lump by the bed.
“Hannah.” She was flailing wildly in the dark, trapped in the blanket, which had fallen with her. “Hold still, I’ve got you.” It took him a moment to free her, but when she did, she surprised him, leaping to her feet.
There was no light, only the faint moon, so he couldn’t be certain, but it seemed as though she was standing over him, chest heaving, glaring with fury.
At him. “Hannah?”
She shoved back her hair, her breathing ragged, and he reached out and flipped on the light.
He immediately wished he hadn’t. She’d obviously had a nightmare. Her shirt was soaked through, plastered against her skin, which was shiny and lustrous. Her thighs, the ones he’d just been dreaming about having wrapped around him, quivered, and she hugged herself, all while shooting him with those menta
l daggers.
“You,” she said.
“Yes, me.” He was still on his knees, unable to take his eyes off the incredible sight she made standing over him. Her full breasts were thrust up by her crossed arms. And from his low vantage point, he could see just a peek-a-boo hint of white panties beneath the hem of her shirt. “A bad dream?”
“Not a bad one, no.” Again, she shoved the hair out of her eyes, then dragged in a deep breath. She continued to glare at him as she moved past him, affording him a fantastic view of her perfect rear end.
Then the bathroom door slammed behind her, making him blink. “Hannah?”
“You sleep naked,” came her accusing voice.
Yes. He hadn’t thought about that when he’d raced into the bedroom thinking something was seriously wrong.
“I’m taking a shower,” she called out grumpily. “A cold one.”
Ah. He got it now, and pleased, he let out a low laugh. “You had a sexual dream. About me.”
“Don’t let it go to your head,” he heard her mutter, then the shower blasted on.
He stared at the closed door. Oh, he’d let it go to his head all right.
She still wanted him.
Denying them both because of an elusive future they couldn’t control seemed so wasteful. Surging to his feet, he moved toward the bathroom and knocked softly.
No answer.
Not a “go away,” but not exactly an invitation either. His fingers played with the handle, which turned easily in his hand.
She hadn’t locked the door.
He stared down at it, and finally decided that he’d take that as his invitation.
* * *
HANNAH LIED. The water was hot, hot, hot and she stood there beneath the spray of the shower, trying to blank out her mind.
It wasn’t working.
All she could think about was Zach; how he made her laugh, how he made her feel alive, vibrant. Sexy.
As she soaped up, the water pounded over her icy skin, chasing away the shivers and warming her until she felt languid, almost lazy. As she soaped, her hands running over the body she washed every single day, she felt...different. Sexy. Damn that man anyway, because now all she could think about was making love with him.
And making love with Zach was incredible. He was wild and hot, and yes, outrageously sensual. But far more important, somehow in spite of all the sizzle and heat, they’d managed to connect on a deeper level.
Heart and soul.
Sighing, she cranked up the hot water all the more and closed her eyes.
Heart and soul.
Wasn’t that just the problem?
She heard the bathroom door open one nanosecond before the shower curtain slid aside.
“That’s not a cold shower,” Zach said.
She shrieked and went to cover herself, but before she could do that, he stepped into the shower, crowding her with his body, his piercing eyes, his voice when he leaned over her, pinning his arms on the tile on either side of her.
“Tell me to leave,” he said. “And I will, right now. But look me in the eyes when you tell me, so I believe you, because what I believe is that we belong here, together, for as long as we can make this work.”
It wasn’t easy to think past the fact that he was completely naked, as was she, and now all those rough and ready muscles were hard and glistening, his skin sleek and smooth and hotter than the water that cascaded over his shoulders and back. “You believe...what?”
“I want you,” he clarified, looking fierce and primitive, his eyes narrow and glittering. “And you want me.”
“No, the other,” she managed, forcing herself to look into his eyes. “The part about belonging together.”
“You heard me.” Now he nudged closer, big and strong and undeniably male. She couldn’t look away from him, both enthralled and even a little frightened. How had this happened, how had her feelings for him become so...huge?
He must have seen some of her fear. “Don’t ever be afraid of me,” he whispered, brushing her dripping hair out of her eyes. His hands were gentle as he stroked them down her body. “I won’t hurt you this time.”
He was referring to her lost virginity, but that had hardly hurt, and even then, only for a flash. No, what she was afraid of was what he made her feel. “You didn’t hurt me.”
His eyes glittered. “No?”
“No,” she whispered.
The heat of the water had a swirl of steam surrounding them, and Hannah felt her senses take over, as if it was all a dream. A dream making her body quiver, a dream making her arch toward him in acquiescence.
Zach bent to kiss her, slow and deep. Without hesitation, she opened her mouth, kissing him back with everything she had, and he groaned. His grip on her tightened, and the kiss went wild with urgency. She felt his callused palms sliding up her thighs, felt him shudder as his hand moved over her bare buttocks, his fingers caressing her.
With every movement, he taught her more about pleasure, more about herself than she could have imagined, and she moved against him, lost in the sensual haze. Then she felt herself lifted, pressed back against the tile wall, held in place by Zach’s body.
He lifted his head, his expression dark and passionate. “This isn’t for curiosity’s sake, or because you’re tired of not knowing what pleasure is like,” he grated out. “This isn’t to get out of toilet duty, or to satisfy some bet. This is because I can’t stop thinking about you, about your laugh, your voice, your everything, and I want it to be the same for you.”
So intense, so sure. It should have terrified her all the more. Instead, it soothed her. “It’s the same for me,” she whispered.
He looked at her for a long moment, while her heart jerked painfully in her chest. Then, finally, he bent and kissed her, then bent further and drew a nipple into his mouth, causing her to gasp and arch as heat spread through her. He shifted, covering her other breast with his rough palm. And when his fingers trailed down over her quivering belly, she could hardly stand it because she remembered how he’d made her feel last time, as if she was flying off a cliff without a net.
Suddenly she was in a hurry to feel that way again, because she knew he would catch her, he’d always catch her. His fingers slid lower, lower still, and touched her, evoking a small, helpless sound.
“Do you like that?”
Hard to believe she could get this far with him and suddenly be torn between ecstasy and embarrassment.
“Hannah?” He stopped the magic with his fingers and a whimper escaped her lips before she could stop it.
“Yes,” she managed. “But...”
“But?”
“It was dark last time.”
“You’ve seen me before, several times now.”
“But...you haven’t seen me.”
“I want to,” he murmured. “I want to see everything—the way your body flushes, the way your nipples go all tight and pouty, the way you pant for air and look at me with that glazed, helpless expression. You drive me wild, Hannah, and I want to see all of it. All of you.”
He was touching her again, light, feathery touches over swollen and wet ultrasensitive flesh. Unable to stop herself, she writhed against his hand, and when he pressed open her legs, so that they wrapped around his hips, her head began to swim. She dug her fingers into the muscles of his arms and clung to his hard, warm, welcoming body, unable to believe how close to that edge of the cliff she already was. “Zach...”
“I know. I know— Ahh.” He sank a finger into her, making her cry out, and mindless now, she rocked her hips, frantic need slamming into her in relentless waves.
He entered her then, slowly, inch by inch, letting her body accommodate his, letting the heat and pleasure and desperate need intensify. He deepened the kiss as he thrust, pushing deep within her, burying himself to the hilt. “Oh baby,” he whispered, and thrust again.
It was so powerful, so raw and...perfect. There was tension and unbearable excitement clouding her thoughts, bu
t even through them Hannah knew, this was different, what they had couldn’t be found with anyone else.
The water cooled slightly, but it didn’t matter, they had more than enough heat between them, and sliding her fingers into his silky hair, she cradled him with her arms and legs, pouring everything she had into the moment, knowing she’d never really lived before now.
The shower thundered over them, their hearts roared as one. Low moans mixed with soft cries. Slick skin against slick skin. Her hips undulated against his as she strained with him toward completion, consumed by the fever of it all.
She felt him shudder and groan, and felt a surge of power at making this strong man so weak with the wanting.
“Come for me now,” he urged, gripping her hips, lifting her for a more perfect fit. “Hannah, now...I can’t hold back—”
It didn’t matter.
Her senses and body exploded in the sweetest, wildest pleasure imaginable, and she cried out.
On and on it went, unending, and she thought she might even fall, but Zach somehow managed to hold on to her even as his own cry matched hers, his body convulsing as he met his own climax.
CHAPTER 12
HANNAH CAME AWAKE because her feet were cold. Frozen, as a matter of fact. So was her bare, naked bottom.
It took another moment of muddled confusion to realize this was because she was face-down, sprawled sideways across her bed, with no covers.
She reached down, groping for them, and came in contact with more icy skin, not her own this time. Resorting to opening her eyes, she saw that she had her hand on Zach’s equally bare, and equally icy, rear end.
But it was a very fine rear end, as were his long, powerful legs and tight, sleek back.
All gloriously naked.
He too was sprawled sideways over the bed, which as she remembered now, is where they’d collapsed, exhausted, after a most incredible night.
His eyes were still closed, and she noted with some amusement that he had a slight smile on his face.
Something deep within her reacted at just the sight of him, and it wasn’t anything she’d ever experienced before.
Oh, boy.
She was most definitely falling for him. Seriously falling.