Graceful Scars

by Savannah Stewart

  “I think I could go for some Chinese takeout later.” I kissed him again. “But I want you now.” I tried to take his mouth once more but he leaned back just a fraction.

  His dark eyes turn molten. “Do you now?”

  I shook my head yes and pouted my bottom lip out.

  “I might be able to arrange that.” The corner of his lips tipped up in a sexy smirk and I melted into the mattress beneath him as he brought his weight down on me, scooting my legs apart so he could seat himself in just the right spot. I moaned as I felt his hardness through my pajama shorts, pressing firmly against my core, causing every nerve ending in my body to come alive. I wasn’t expecting it, but I wasn’t complaining either.

  Talon and I had pushed many boundaries in the past weeks, we’d seen all of one another, but hadn’t taken the full leap of having sex. Not because we didn’t want to; I think it was more along the lines of him being afraid to step over that line again until I was fully ready, especially after the first night we tried. Fully ready though? Would I even know when I was fully ready without trying to have sex again? I wanted Talon, something fierce, but every time we got to that point he put a halt to things. Yes, there were many times I started to have a slight panic attack, but I didn’t get to see if I could push through it because the situation never got any farther than the two of us almost naked and in the heat of the moment.

  Talon was peppering kisses down the curve of my neck as he ground his hips into me. I moaned in response as my nails dug into the flesh of his toned back. “Do you like that, Tegan?” His husky voice was at my ear, baiting me to answer.

  “Yes…” I breathlessly moaned. “I do…”

  “Good,” He growled, nipping at the skin of my shoulder.

  He was driving me mad! I needed more, wanted more. But would he allow me to have it?

  “Talon…please…” I begged.

  He lifted up to where his face was hovering over mine. “Please what, Tegan?” His deep voice sent chills dancing across my skin, causing me to shiver.

  “You know what I want,” I gritted out as he pressed himself harder against my core making my eyes roll back into my head.

  Talon hiked my tank top up exposing my stomach and causing me to involuntarily suck in. I was lean, mainly from dancing, but I still had a twinge of insecurities. What girl didn’t? He smoothed his hand down my torso, stopping on the waist band of my shorts and let out a frustrated groan. Stopping all movement he dropped his head against my collarbone and sighed heavily.

  “What’s wrong?” I huffed out, trying to slow my own breathing.

  Talon softly kissed my collarbone before turning his face towards mine. “I’m sorry…”

  I closed my eyes and turned my face away from his. He had put a halt to us again, but this time it wasn’t because of me. I was perfectly fine and in the moment, not on the brink of a breakdown.

  “Sorry for what?” My voice shook on the end.

  “I want so badly to keep going with you, Tegan, but I don’t want to hurt you.” His voice was raw with emotions that made my throat clog with my own.

  I turned my head towards his and cupped his face in my hands. “Then don’t hurt me.” I whispered before placing my lips against his, causing him to growl low in his throat. It only took a second for him to catch up with my movements, sending us right back into the heated moment we were previously in. I pulled my tank top off, breaking our frantic kissing, leaving my top half covered in a thin nude cotton bra.

  “You’re gorgeous, Tegan.” Talon dragged his eyes from mine down to my chest.

  He began worshipping my skin as he dropped his mouth to my jaw line and made his way down to the valley between my breasts. I felt alive, like nothing could hold me down as he pulled the cups of my bra down, pushing my bare breasts higher in the air. He ran the flat of his tongue over each peak as he slid my bottoms down my legs. The feelings Talon was pulling from me were stronger than any other I had ever felt. I fisted my hands into his messy brown locks and gently pulled as he teased me with his tongue.

  “Gah!” I moaned as he ran a hand down the front of my panties.

  I felt the hook of my bra come undone and he pulled the material from my body, tossing it on the floor somewhere beside my bed. He continued his path of kisses down the breast he was giving attention to and swooped his tongue into my navel, taking hold of the ring that was pierced through it. He gave it a gentle tug before continuing his way down. The blood was rushing so loudly in my ears that it made it hard to hear anything else. As my panties slid down my legs my heart picked up its pace, changing from a steady thump to a galloping slam within my chest like it was about to burst through my rib cage any second.

  “Are you still with me, Tegan?” Talon’s loving voice was muffled by my heart beat.

  “Yes,” I managed to say as steadily as possible, although I was lying through my teeth.

  He smoothed a hand up my left leg, giving my thigh a squeeze as he kissed each hipbone. “You are unbelievably beautiful, sweetheart.” My breath hitched in my throat as he kissed from my hipbone down to my most sensitive area. The darkness was knocking loud and clear, trying to pull me under, and I was doing everything in my power to will it away.

  You can do this, Tegan! It’s Talon…He’s not going to hurt you because he loves you, and you love him. Push through this, you can do it. I continued to will myself to stay in the light with Talon, to not let the darkness win. It had won so many times in my life; I couldn’t allow it to do so again.

  Talon lifted up so he could see me, most likely to make sure that I was truly all right. I smiled a lazy smile back at him. “Keep your eyes on mine.” My chest started heaving just from that statement. “Okay?” He demanded an answer so I shook my head yes, afraid that my voice would betray me. I kept my eyes locked on Talon’s as my mouth went slack the moment I felt one of his fingers slide into me. “Breathe, Tegan.” His eyes glazed over as he ordered me to let go of the breath I didn’t realize I was holding. I slowly breathed in and out as he started to move his finger inside of me before adding a second. My eyes started to close on their own accord and it took all I had to keep them locked on his.

  A slow burn, the kind that feels remarkably good, started building within me as he caressed my insides with his skilled fingers. This was the farthest we had ever gotten, and surprisingly Talon didn’t seem like he was stopping anytime soon. He continued working his skilled hands until I could no longer keep my eyes open. “Look at me, beautiful.” His words were gravelly and strained. I tried to open my eyes, but the feelings that were rolling through my body as Talon moved his fingers within me were too much.

  “I—I can’t…” I groaned. “Talon…”

  “It’s okay, baby, just feel…don’t think.”

  Just feel…don’t think... Just feel…don’t think… I repeated over and over as my body arched off the bed when he hooked his fingers upwards, pushing just the right spot within me. The feeling sent me over the edge as I called out his name loud enough for my neighbors to hear just before my body crashed back down on the bed and Talon’s body was hovering over me.

  “That was the sexiest thing I have ever witnessed.” His sentence was barely finished before his lips were on mine; tangling our tongues together like our lives depended on our kiss.

  I felt my cheeks warm like they had been set ablaze so I knew I was blushing from his words. Talon made me feel in ways I had never felt. He made me desire a life I thought I had completely lost. He was where I was meant to be…and nothing was going to get in the way of my happily ever after with this man, not even the demons I struggled to keep at bay. As badly as I wanted Talon to take things further, going slow was probably the best idea.

  Chapter Eleven

  “So how are things going with you and Zoey?” Adalynn asked as she took a sip of her hot chocolate, which was more marshmallows than cocoa.

  “Well, we’re back on talking terms if that counts.” I laughed an un-enthusiastic laugh. “She’
s still cold towards me. I don’t know if it’s because I ratted her out to Talon or because I hurt her feelings about the homeless man. I have no idea how to fix it either.” It had been almost a week since our fall out happened because of the homeless man fiasco.

  “Give her time. It’ll work itself out.” I took a sip of my own hot chocolate, which had a lot fewer marshmallows than Adalynn’s.

  We were bundled up on the sidelines of the local high school football team’s homecoming game. They invited our girls to do a dance routine at halftime so Adalynn and I put together a mashup of the different age groups so everyone could participate. There were a couple minutes left in the first half of the game; my nerves were bouncing around like crazy because the girls would be taking the field soon to show this part of the city what Graceful Moves was made of. Adalynn and I were two proud ladies.

  “Where’s Talon tonight?” Adalynn asked.

  I wasn’t sure where he was but for some reason he had said he couldn’t make it. I didn’t ask questions, mainly because I didn’t want to be that kind of girlfriend. But right then I was kicking myself in the ass for not asking why he couldn’t come. “He couldn’t make it.” I shrugged my shoulders.

  Adalynn’s eyebrows dipped low in the middle. “How come?” I knew she wouldn’t let it go at that.

  “I’m not really sure,” I admitted.

  “You didn’t ask?” Her eyebrows raised in confusion.

  “No. Why would I?” I tried to sound as calm as possible, even though she was riling me up.

  She looked at me like I was crazy. “Man, all guys would love you as a girlfriend.”

  “What do you mean?” I was trying to play dumb.

  “You don’t ask questions. If it was me, I’d been harassing him to tell me why in the hell he wasn’t coming tonight.”

  “And that’s where we are different,” I replied. In reality we were the same. I wanted to ask questions but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Did I think he was up to something? No. I just thought it was odd that he wasn’t going to be there for Zoey’s first public event, especially since she had been so upset about not being able to dance for a while.

  The away team scored with only seconds to spare, tying the game. As the kicker got ready to try for the extra point, the crowd became quiet. Even though it wasn’t the end of the game, it meant just as much as if it was. The kicker moved forward, sending the ball flying into the air as everyone held their breath. It was no good!!! The crowd went into a frenzy of cheers as the buzzer went off ending the half.

  “All right, little ladies!” I shouted as Adalynn and I turned to face the girls sitting on the bottom row of the bleachers behind where we were standing. “Are you ready to rock this crowd?!”

  “Yeah!!!” They simultaneously replied.

  “Then let’s do this!” Adalynn chimed in, waving everyone to get up so we could take position on the field. I stayed back as Adalynn got them ready. This was mainly her work of art, like most of the classes at the studio. I was mostly in the background anymore. Every so often I would go out on the floor and practice with the girls or teach a class when she couldn’t make it, but it was hard for me to stay concentrated throughout the entire class. Something always tried to set me off into a downward spiral, even if I had taken my medication for the day.

  I stayed on the track around the field as Adalynn stepped into the grass just enough for the girls to hear her call out the opening beat. As the music came to life the girls hunched down then sprang to their feet in unison as the music continued. I was in awe of these girls. They were all so amazing in their own ways. They worked together during every practice to the point of pretty much perfection. I felt my emotions starting to flood me as I watched them with pride. I choked back the tears as I reminisced on the happier times in my life, when dancing was what I lived and breathed for; I realized that I needed to get back to being that person again. It was going to be a battle but I was determined to get there.

  I felt strong, masculine arms wrap around my waist, sending my heart into a frantic beating pattern. I jerked away as fast as possible and spun around to find Talon towering over me with a boyish grin. “I didn’t mean to scare you.” He pulled me into his arms and placed a warm kiss against my freezing lips. “Mmm…you taste like chocolate.”

  “I just finished a cup. It. Was. Delicious.” I bragged. “I thought you weren’t going to be able to make it.”

  He kissed me again. “I think you need to drink hot chocolate more often. Not that I need any more reason to keep my lips on yours.” His voice dropped on the last part, causing heat to form in my lower stomach. He knew exactly what to say and do to turn me upside down. But I did realize that he had deflected my question.

  “Let’s talk after the girls’ performance.” I turned in his arms and leaned back against his chest and he held me in place. His warmth felt amazing against the almost unbearable Chicago temperature.

  We stood there snuggled together in silence as the girls finished their routine and the music came to a close. As the crowd roared to life with applause and cheers, they exited the field and headed towards where they were previously sitting. They were all decked out in black track suits with hot pink shimmery accents. I smiled proudly as the girls hugged and ranted and raved about how much fun they had on their way back to their seats; except Zoey, who made a beeline straight to Talon and me.

  “That was awesome!” She bounced up and down.

  “You guys rocked!” I praised her as I stepped out of Talon’s embrace so they could hug.

  “Great job, Zoey! I’m so proud of you.” Talon picked her up in the air and spun around before setting her back down.

  She was beaming from ear-to-ear. “I thought you weren’t coming?” She questioned him.

  “I didn’t think I could make it, but I found a way to make it happen.”

  Zoey hugged him again before running off to where the other girls were gathered. She must have known why he couldn’t make it because she dropped it without saying much more, which wasn’t her usual style.

  Talon pulled me back into his embrace and ran his arms up and down my body in hopes of helping me stay warm. “Where are you headed from here?”

  “Back to the studio.” Even though I wanted so badly to go with him. “Some of the girls’ parents aren’t here so we have to take them back to the studio until they can pick them up within the next couple of hours. Thankfully this game didn’t start as late as the others have.”

  He rested his chin against the top of my head. “I was hoping you could come home with me.” Warmth spread throughout my body from his yearning tone.

  “I wish I could.” I leaned up and kissed his lips.

  “All right, ladies, make sure you have all of your belongings and let’s head to the parking lot,” Adalynn instructed the girls that were heading back to the studio with us. “All right, love birds.” She patted my shoulder as I turned my face against Talon’s chest to look at her.

  “What?”

  “I totally hate you both,” she joked. “There’s only two girls riding back to the studio. I can handle them and even take Zoey with me if you all want.”

  “Are you sure?” I asked.

  “Girl, if I wasn’t sure I wouldn’t have offered. Now take your grossly in love asses somewhere more private.” We laughed and said our goodbyes to Zoey and the two other students that were riding with them to the studio, Laura and Heather.

  As we reached Talon’s car, he opened the passenger’s door for me and spoke in his best British accent, “My lady.” I laughed at his silliness and slid into the seat before he shut the door.

  Rubbing my hands together I watched him circle the car. His dark hair was flopping against his forehead as he quickly made his way to the driver’s side. As he shut the door behind him he was almost simultaneously cranking the car and turning the heat on. Thankfully he had heated seats, I wasn’t so lucky with my vehicle. “They should make it mandatory for a vehicle in a cold state to hav
e heated seats. I’m just saying…”

  Talon laughed. “Some of the stuff you say amazes me.” He linked our hands together as he pulled out of the parking spot and headed towards his apartment. I snuggled back against the warming seat and enjoyed the peaceful ride.

  We barely made it through the door of Talon’s apartment before I was trying to rip his clothes off of him. I didn’t know what had gotten into me, but the kisses he was leaving on my neck as I unlocked his apartment had sent me into a full-on hormone overload. I jerked his coat down his arms and dropped it on the floor, followed by doing the same to mine. Talon’s face was full of surprise as I slipped my track pants down my legs and kicked them away from where we were standing. I quickly discarded my shirt, leaving myself in a matching pale pink and grey lace bra and panty set. I watched as his Adam’s apple bobbed when he swallowed at the sight of me. Nothing but pure love and want was staring back at me in his beautiful dark eyes. I took a step forward and began unbuttoning his collared shirt as he stood stark still, allowing me to do what I pleased.

  As I undid the last button I pushed it down his arms, sending it falling to the floor. I ran my hands up his chest and circled them around his arms as I stretched to reach his mouth. Talon lifted me up until I could wrap my legs around his waist, much like the first time I had come to his apartment. Without saying a word he carried us back to his bedroom as I kissed down his scruffy jawline, nipping lightly as I went. Talon lowered me into his bed and braced himself with his forearm as he took my mouth in a loving manner. Our tongues danced in a slow sensual way. I hooked my legs around his waist and realized that he was still wearing his jeans. I dropped my legs back against the bed and fumbled my hands against his belt, trying to undo it. The clanking sound of the metal buckle echoed through the bedroom as I finally got it undone. I slipped the button of his jeans through the loop that held them shut and slid the zipper down. Talon was no longer kissing me, instead his face was mere inches from mine as we stared into one another’s eyes. I could tell that he was making sure that I was okay, that I was present and well aware that it was him above me. He lowered himself onto his right forearm and slid the remainder of his clothes off of his legs. I pushed my chest into his and reached around my back to undo my bra. Talon’s hand clasped onto mine, stopping me. I arched an eyebrow at him as his mouth met mine and he unsnapped my bra with one hand, while his other pulled it from my body. When the air hit my bare breasts I took in a sharp breath, breaking our kiss.