Shadow Games

by Doug Welch

  Chapter 11

  Men Say it First

  The next day dawned bright and clear. Fortunately, there was no forecast for rain. After I’d dressed and started breakfast, Alex joined me.

  She yawned. “What's the agenda for today?”

  “I've got a date with Beth. We're going to the lake. What about you?”

  “Thought we'd be going to the firing range today.” She looked disappointed but then brightened and smiled. “Don't worry about me. I'll call Caesar, and we'll figure something.”

  She finished breakfast, and went upstairs to take a shower.

  “Take a can of pepper spray with you.” I called to her retreating back.

  I busied myself in preparing the best picnic lunch I could make from the ingredients in the kitchen and decided to snag a bottle of wine from the wine cellar.

  Taking the key from the study, I went down to the basement. Unlocking the closet-spaced wine cellar, I browsed the bottles. While I looked, I noticed something odd about the space. First, it didn't seem large enough to fit with the dimensions of the space in the basement. Second, it was noticeably cooler in the little room.

  I wondered if there was an air conditioner hidden in the room, or if it was natural. I dismissed the thought as not relative to my quest.

  After agonizing over the wine selections, wondering which one would be suitable for Elizabeth, I finally decided to be cautious, and abandoned the idea of bringing wine.

  Locking up the room I went back upstairs, pacing nervously around the house.

  I cleaned the breakfast dishes and drifted into the study. I fingered the computers, rearranged the furnishings, and browsed through the contents of the bookcase. Then I resumed my wandering around the rooms.

  After I had passed by Alex for the second time, she laughed. “Why don't you get out of here? You're driving me crazy with your prowling. You're acting like a caged tiger.”

  “It's not time yet.”

  “Be early, Paris. Just get in your car and go,” she said.

  I paused in my pacing. I was feeling like I was going to explode with the stress of waiting. I wanted to get in my car and leave, my body yearning to be with Elizabeth again.

  My feelings were unlike any I had experienced when I was dating other women, like an adolescent teenager anxious about his first date. The emotions were, at once, frustrating, frightening, and exhilarating. Resolving to get control of myself, a slow drive in the country would be just the thing, and I would be doing something, rather than waiting.

  “You’re right, Sis. See you later.”

  I piled all of the items I’d prepared into the car's trunk. After a thought, I went back to the house, and added a picnic blanket to the mix.

  I drove at a leisurely pace, slow enough to admire the advancing spring flora. Kentucky could be bleak in the winter, but the spring and summer seasons were glorious assaults of vibrant green.

  I passed by the small farms with their houses, mostly white, set well back from the highway. In places, businesses congregated to front the highway and serve the tourists. Gas stations, bait shops, motels and a plentiful sprinkling of churches flashed by.

  Occasionally, a road crossed the highway, leading to distant wooded areas, where other farms, county facilities, and some housing tracts were hidden. Soon, the buildings receded, and the wooded areas of the State Park began to crowd the roadway.

  Along the way, I daydreamed about Elizabeth. I imagined having her near me not for a day, or a visit, but that I might reach out in the night and touch her, cuddle her. By the time I had imagined the birth of our second child, I was at the park.

  I snapped out of my reveries, and followed the route that would take me to the picnic areas where we’d agreed to meet. I passed through the park entrance.

  Local residents did not have to pay a fee, so I was waved through. I parked the car, and sat to wait for Elizabeth. I had some time to kill, so I got out of my car, and took a stroll around.

  I inhaled the pine scent of the trees, and felt the coolness of the woods. Occasional shafts of sunlight penetrated the foliage, creating pleasing contrasts of light and dark. Life was good, I thought, if only the realities of life didn't interrupt the pleasures of times like this, everything would be a joy.

  With that thought, some of the troubles that made my life so complicated started to intrude themselves, but with a conscious effort, I forbade them to sidetrack my good feelings, and headed back to the car. Later, not today. Today is reserved for good things, things that make life worth living.

  When I reached the car, Elizabeth's Jag drove into the parking lot. Speaking of good things, they just arrived. I was surprised. I thought that she wouldn’t be here for at least another hour.

  She saw me and grinned, opening her car door. “I left really early, and to be honest, I didn't obey the speed limits very well.”

  Like me, she was wearing jeans and a sturdy blue cambric shirt. The front of the shirt was slightly unbuttoned, showing a tantalizing glimpse of her cleavage where the necklace I’d given her was displayed. The sight warmed me.

  I smiled. “It’s good to see you.” I walked over to her car, and enveloped her in a big bear hug. It developed into a kiss and a mutual embrace. We broke the clutch after a time. I was breathless and trembling.

  She smiled and said in a husky voice, “So where are we going?”

  I replied with a bigger smile, “I think you know.”

  She grinned. “Yes, I suppose I do.”

  I took a backpack loaded with some drinks and snacks from the car's trunk, and strapped the picnic blanket to it. I shouldered the pack, and we strolled toward the beckoning woods and trail.

  Elizabeth had her own backpack across her shoulders leaving her hands and arms free. I took her hand, and she didn't object; she just gripped mine firmly. We talked about casual things, about her work, and my quest to settle my parents' affairs. We talked about Alex and Caesar, about where that relationship was headed. We marveled at the beauty and peace of the woods.

  As we walked and talked, she would periodically look into my eyes. In those moments, gazing at those violet eyes, I felt my heart accelerate, and my throat tighten. God! She was so beautiful, lovely to look at, and even lovelier inside.

  We walked along the trail to the point at which we could turn to the hidden clearing. Leaving the trail we carefully made our way through the screening saplings, finally arriving at the amphitheater-like clearing and shrugged off our backpacks.

  The quiet peace of the site and the blue expanse of the lake calmed me. I sat beside her and just gazed out at the lake. Her scent was like newly mowed grass, fresh out-of-the-oven baked bread, and every inch of her seemed delectable and edible.

  My mind began to fidget. If any time was the time, I thought, it had to be now. Now, while we were at peace. My body roiled with anxiety, and butterflies rustled in my abdomen, but I couldn't wait any longer. I had to know, even though I dreaded the answer. My mind screamed to me that it was improbable that she would reciprocate my feelings. I could just imagine the pain if she rejected me, but I could live with it. Couldn't I? We looked at each other, and at that moment, I knew I had to say it.

  “I'm in love with you Beth. I can't hide it or pretend anymore. I don't want to intimidate you or make you distance yourself from me, but it’s too deep. I can understand if you want to draw back from it, it will hurt, but it won't change.”

  She sighed. “About time.”

  “What?”

  “About time you said it,” she said, and laughed.

  “You mean...”

  “I've been checking my pulse daily to make sure I was still alive.” She laughed again.

  “Then why..?”

  “It’s an unwritten courtship rule. The man has to declare it first. Then, we can reciprocate. As for me, I think I've been in love with you since the first time we met, when you kissed my hand.”

  I stared at her, stunned. My heart leaped into my throat. I was
suddenly wildly joyous. My brain went dizzy from the emotions flooding through my body. I had a hard time finding my voice.

  “Beth, do you realize how crazy we are? We've only known each other for a few days. How can this be happening?”

  “Paris, do you believe in 'soul mates'?”

  “I haven't heard the term before.”

  “It means two people who were destined for each other. People who, as soon as they meet, know, just know, that without doubt, they were destined to be together. Maybe it is crazy,” she said, “but I don't care, because it feels so wonderful.” Her eyes glistened.

  The sight triggered an onrush of desire and need. I moved to her and enveloped her. I captured her mouth, feeling her tender lips open to my kiss, the tips of our tongues touching. Then I thought of a question and drew back.

  “Does this mean that we have progressed to the 'dear' and 'darling' stage?” I said.

  “Yes dear,” she replied, laughing. Her eyes flashed with diamond highlights.

  I grabbed her and started kissing her mouth her cheeks, her eyes, her nose, but especially her mouth. With each kiss, I murmured dear, dearest, darling, wonderful-one, any word I could think of that expressed how much I loved her.

  She broke away, holding me at arms length. “Hold it, Paris. We've got some talking to do.”

  I controlled myself. I wanted to sink into those eyes, and never emerge, but I knew she was right.

  “Huh, yes.” I said.

  “You know this doesn't change who we are. I'm still a doctor, and you're still an engineer with obligations to both your job and your family. If anything, it only complicates our lives.”

  “I know, but it makes it easier for me. You love me. Regardless of any other problem we might encounter, that makes a difference. Nothing is more important than loving you. I can cope with anything as long as I know you love me. We'll find a way to be together, I promise. Even if I have to resign from my job, I will make this work.”

  She sighed. “Paris, a candle that burns brightly, only burns for a little while. We need to give this some time to settle down, to become less passionate, to become more comfortable, then we can make decisions objectively.”

  I thought about her words. I didn't want to be objective. I wanted to hold her and be as passionate as I could be. I gradually let my feeling calm, realizing that she had a point. I couldn't make a rational decision with the turmoil that drove me.

  “All right.” I said. “We do need to talk about this. Understand, it doesn't change the way I feel about you, but you're right, we do need to come to an understanding, as much as I hate to admit it. But, I want you. I want to be with you. I want us to be a couple. I want to cherish you for the rest of my life.”

  Her eyes grew soft. She replied, “I think you should kiss me again. I want you too.”

  I didn't hesitate. I took her in my arms and began to taste every exposed part of her body, her hands, her neck, her ear lobes, and especially her lips. The scent exuding from her body inflamed my passion. It affected a primitive portion of my brain, a part that said this is your mate. This is your life partner. This is the bearer of your offspring. Engulf her with your desire. I started caressing her sides, her legs, her arms, her back, and especially her face. After a while, when my caresses had strayed near to her breasts, and I pressed close to her body, she pushed me away and sat up.

  “Hold it, time out.” She closed her eyes, and grasped for breath.

  I stopped. “What's wrong? Did I offend you?”

  “No. I need to calm down, and we need to have another talk.”

  “Talk. Talk about what?”

  “Sex, we need to talk about sex.” She said, and she took a few deep breaths.

  “When two people love each other,” I replied, “love making is hard to control. I'm sorry if I took it to extremes.”

  She got that soft look again. “I know. I want it too. But I'm not using birth control. I don't want to go that far. I don't want to lose control, as much as my body cries for it. I'm afraid. That act would be irrevocable, and I'm not ready for it.”

  I thought for a moment. “If we ascend to that level, I want it to be accompanied by an orchestra. I want a room with a king sized bed, covered in satin sheets. I want flowers covering every inch of space. I want it to last for an eternity. I want it to be a perfect time. One that we will remember for the rest of our lives.”

  “Oh God, you’re such an incredible romantic.”

  I grinned. “Good. Can we get back to necking, at least? I promise to be a gentleman.”

  She wrapped her arms around my neck, and delivered a passionate kiss. She leaned back and gazed into my eyes. “God. I love you.”

  “I said it first.” I protested.

  “Dumb male,” she replied.

  “Duplicitous female,” I rejoined.

  “Kiss me you fool.” She laughed.

  We spent a long time, alternating between passionate necking and discussions about our mutual feelings. We broke for refreshments and resumed. I was so happy I could have cried. After a while, we packed up the backpacks and headed back to the picnic area.

  When we reached the cars, I opened the trunk and set out the food on a convenient picnic table. We ate lunch at the table and resumed our public demeanor. Ostentatious displays of passion were not the acceptable norm in Kentucky. Finally, after we had packed up the remains and deposited them in the car, I turned to her and said, “Care to go for a swim?”

  “I'd better,” she replied, “I smell like you.”

  “Well the feeling is mutual, I smell like you, but to be honest, I enjoy the scent.”

  “Well, so do I, but I know if I'm wearing the smell of Paris on my body, I won't be able to sleep tonight.”

  “Beth, I'll never sleep another night without thinking of you.”

  We drove our separate cars to the marina. We parked, and Beth disappeared into the bathroom to change to a bathing suit. I had my trunks on beneath my jeans, so I was the first to approach the swimming area. I took the picnic blanket with me and spread it on the sloping shore.

  The water looked cool and clear. I could see the sandy bottom of the lake. The bottom grew less distinct as the depth of the lake increased toward the swim dock.

  Beth finally emerged from the bathhouse. She was wearing a one-piece black swimsuit that seemed to be a part of her body. She may as well be wearing nothing, I thought, naked would be less provocative. When she approached me, I said, “Did someone paint that suit on you?”

  “Don't you like it?”

  “Oh yeah.”

  She grinned. “Last one to the swim dock has to forfeit a wish.” She ran to the water.

  I followed. Her words promised a world of possibilities. She didn't know whom she was challenging. I had been on the swim team in college, and I knew how to race.

  I cleaved the water and with powerful crawl strokes swam toward the dock, glancing to my right after each stroke. Elizabeth swam like an eel. She moved amazingly fast through the water. I struggled to stay even. We matched each other. Even though my longer strokes and more powerful legs gave me an edge, I must have been out of shape, because we both reached the swim dock at the same time.

  “You swim like a fish,” I gasped, trying to catch my breath, “but I beat you.”

  “You did not. I beat you.”

  “No you didn't.”

  “Did too.”

  “Did not.”

  We both laughed. I looked in those almond-shaped violet eyes and melted.

  “You are the most wonderful woman in the world,” I said softly. “Where did you learn to swim like that?”

  “I competed in college. The swimsuit is a competition one, less drag in the water.'” She laughed. “You didn't stand a chance.”

  “Hah. I'll have you know that I was on my college's swim team, too. Just wait until I get back in shape, Miss Rowan. You won't be able to catch me. Can we call it a tie?”

  “Not hardly, I beat you. I get a wish.�
��

  “No, I get a wish.” I replied.

  She swept a wave of water over my head. I grabbed her and we began a ducking contest. As we playfully struggled to drown each other, her silky legs and body flashed past my thighs and abdomen. Her breasts were periodically crushed against my face. Each touch of her hands and body sent tingling waves of desire through me. The pleasure of her flesh caused an immediate response in my groin. If I was ever going to be a gentleman, I thought, it had better be now.

  I gathered myself, grabbed her waist with both hands, and with a powerful kick, lifted her clean out of the water, depositing her on the side of the dock.

  “What was that for? I was having fun dunking you. You chickened out.”

  “Just trying to be a gentleman,” I grumbled.

  She had a mischievous grin. “Get up on the dock. I want to kiss you.”

  I groaned. “Not right now. Give me a few minutes.”

  Her grin got wider. “Got a problem, have you?”

  I looked at her. “Nothing special, just a sexy desirable woman whom I love beyond reason, driving me crazy.”

  “That wasn't a drive,” she replied, “that was just a short putt. You wait until the time is right, and I'll make that problem pale in comparison.”

  “Congratulations,” I replied, “you've succeeded in making my few minutes in the water last a lot longer. Now my imagination is working in overdrive. Give me a break will you?”

  She relented. “Shall we talk about work, or the lake or something less intimate?”

  “That would help.”

  “How about I get my wish?”

  “Now you're pushing it” I lifted myself out of the water, and sat beside her on the dock.

  “I guess I didn't try hard enough.” She grinned, glancing at my crotch.

  “Iron willpower,” I replied, “don't do that again, if you plan to remain a virgin.”

  “So, who said I was a virgin?”

  “You're not?” I said pretending to be shocked. “I am dismayed, Miss Rowan.”

  “Unless you're blind, Mr. Fox I'm an attractive woman with an active libido.”

  I felt a brief stab of jealousy. “Were you in love?” I cringed.

  “Almost. – I never got to find out. He was killed in a mountain climbing accident in the Himalayas. It was a sad time of my life.”

  She looked in my eyes. “I think now, that it really wasn't love, not the same as the love I feel for you. That's so powerful it makes me want to cry.”

  Waves of tenderness, desire, and longing rushed through me. I took her in my arms and crushed her to me. I kissed her passionately. Kentucky be damned, I thought; this is the woman I love.

  She responded with a passion of her own. Her lips parted, and briefly, our tongues met. I abruptly broke the kiss, groaned, and jumped back into the water.

  “Let's head on back,” I laughed, “or I'll never be able to get dry.”

  She laughed and slipped into the water. We leisurely swam back, holding hands all the way. We waded through the water at the shore.

  By that time, my problem had diminished and I didn’t feel embarrassed emerging from the lake.

  We walked back to the picnic blanket, plopped down, and dried each other with the one beach towel I had brought.

  Beth laid her head on my shoulder and I put my arm around her.

  “Now about my wish,” she said.

  I sighed. “Okay, you win. Anything.”

  “Anything?”

  I grinned. “I'm rich, you know. Houses, cars, boats, diamonds, anything. They're yours. Go ahead. Take advantage of me.”

  “You're not gonna like it.”

  “Maybe not, but I'm helpless. Go ahead take your best shot.”

  “Humm, that's quite a long list. But, I've made my decision. I'll settle for only taking one car, the next time we go out.”

  “Done. We'll take the Camaro.”

  “That hunk of Detroit iron? I don't think so. We'll take my Jaguar.”

  “Woman, you wound my male pride. What's wrong with the Camaro? It's a man-car.”

  “Let's find a deserted road, and see who does the quarter faster, wise guy.”

  “Okay, a compromise. I'll buy us a new car, and we'll share it.”

  “Interesting idea, just as long as I get to pick the car.”

  “Hey. I'm buying it, I get to pick it.”

  We went on bantering and laughing. It finally devolved into a tickling contest, and then a kissing contest that I lost, thanks to the perversity of my anatomy.

  We finally agreed. I could use the Camaro for some dates; she would use the Jag for others. It’d been a glorious day. The sun kissed the horizon and we reluctantly decided to decamp.

  We loaded up the cars, and after a lingering series of kisses, agreed to meet tomorrow and she’d drive. We went our separate ways.

  I drove back to the farm, not really seeing the scenery, lost in the warm feelings that the day had inspired. I was in love with her. She was in love with me. The world was a wonderful place. I was awash in desire. It couldn't get any better.

  I pulled up to the front of the house and removed all the picnic items from the trunk, carried them into the house and deposited them in the kitchen.

  I searched the house for Alex, meaning to talk about my day, but she was not home. I finally resigned myself to making a lonely dinner, and busied myself in the kitchen.

  As I was sitting to enjoy my meal, I heard the sound of a vehicle at the front of the house. I got up from the table and went to the front door. Alex was just getting ready to unlock the door when I opened it for her.

  “Hi, Sis,” I said, “how was your day?”

  “Wonderful,” she replied. “Caesar is in love with me. He told me. I'm the happiest woman on the planet.”

  I was a little deflated. I could see that she would be gushing about Caesar for a long time, and my news would have to wait.

  “What is it about women, that the male has to say it first?” I muttered.

  “Unwritten rule,” she said. “The male has to lay it on the line.” Her eyes grew wide. “Wait a minute, you told Elizabeth, didn't you.”

  “Well, yes,” I replied. I was a little embarrassed.

  “You're blushing. What did she say?”

  I sighed. “She's in love with me.”

  “Woman's crazy.” She laughed. “Seriously, – I told you she loved you. Caesar knew it all along. Brother dear, we are in really serious trouble.”

  “Trouble, what kind of trouble?”

  “We have to make a life decision here and now. We haven't got a choice. Either we continue with our previous plans, or we disrupt our entire lives to be with the ones we love.”

  Her statement unsettled me. I realized that she was right, but I had never considered it seriously. There were too many conflicts looming over our relationships and our commitments. It would take a long time to unravel them.

  I knew what I wanted. I wanted Elizabeth. I had a simpleminded desire toward that goal. Everything else was a distraction. The death of my parents, the letter, the nebulous threat that Silas tried to portray, the supposed danger from abduction, all of those things were minor compared to the feelings I had for her. Yet Alex was right. We were going to have to make a decision, a decision that would affect our entire lives.

  “You really know how to dampen a mood, don't you?” I replied.

  “Sorry, Brother. If it's any consolation, I've got the same problems. The difference is that I've made my decision. I am afraid that I won't find any other person who makes me feel the way that Caesar does. This feels like a once in a lifetime opportunity. I'm grabbing it with both hands, and the hell with the consequences.”

  I frankly admired her courage and determination. It was a hard decision to make. A few days ago, our plans were set, and our futures had a goal. Now, the unknown loomed, and our futures were opaque.

  My logic told me to plan, to take it slow, to see if this was a lasting relationship.
My feelings urged me to a different course, to take the plunge without fear of the consequences. The two conflicting directions served to diminish my ardor. Do I take the course of certainty, or do I trod the path paved in peril?

  Hah! No contest.

  “Okay,” I said. “Seems like we're both nuts, but I agree. So how did your date go?”

  Alex grinned. “Would you believe he was a perfect gentleman? Must be one of those British things. After he told me, I was ready to ravish him on the spot, but he fended me off, maintaining that these things should not be consummated in the back seat of a pickup. It was frustrating, but it was very, very sexy. Wait until I get him in bed.” There was a determined look on her face.

  I was a little surprised. I hadn't realized that Alex could be so sexually aggressive; it just highlighted everything I did not know about women. It also caused a slight uneasiness. The idea that another man could possess my sister was foreign. I had never considered it before. I quickly blanked it from my mind.

  I raised an eyebrow. “I assume you plan to take precautions?”

  “Precautions? Oh. You mean the pill.” She laughed. “I'm sorry to disillusion you Big Brother, but I've been on the pill for a long time. A girl can't be unprepared you know, just in case the right man comes along.”

  I blushed, and decided to change the subject. “Do you think he is serious? I mean do you think he might ask you to marry him?”

  Alex smirked. “I expect it at any time. He almost said it tonight. I suspect he's waiting for the right moment to pop the question. Any time or place is okay by me, including the back seat of the pickup.” She laughed.

  “How about it Sis, would you accept?”

  “In a red-hot moment. He only has to start saying the words and I'll say yes, yes, yes, a thousand times yes.” She started dancing around the room. “I'm so happy.”

  Her exuberance was infectious. I couldn't help but smile.

  I also wondered what kinds of conversations were occurring between Elizabeth and Caesar. Would Beth be dancing around the room?

  Alex stopped hopping around, and looked seriously at me. “What about you Paris? Do you want to marry Elizabeth?”

  I thought about it. I nodded yes. “But, it's not so easy with us. We both have careers to manage. I don't want to interrupt hers and I wouldn't feel right being a parasite even though we have the money. I need to be productive. We'd have some tough choices to make, maybe impossible choices.” I shrugged. “We'll just have to work it out.”

  “How about you and Caesar?” I replied.

  “That's so cool. Caesar wants to work the farm. He's studying agriculture in school. We plan to buy some more property nearby the farm and combine the acreage. We'll make a living growing things and making babies. I'll take the odd job in the antiques business, just to keep my reputation.”

  “I thought he didn't ask you to marry him.”

  “He didn't. That was what I meant when I said he almost asked me. We talked a lot about the future, and what we would do together.”

  “You know, I think this calls for a bottle of champagne.”

  “Bring it on. It won't take much to get me looped,” she replied.

  I cooled a bottle of champagne from the wine cellar while we ate the remains of my dinner. We drank the sparkling wine and talked about the future late into the night. We went to our rooms slightly buzzed, at peace in the embrace of a perfect day. I wanted to cherish it, because in the back of my mind, I felt it might be our last.