by Rayne Hall
car park/parking lot
crisps/chips
chips/fries
rubbish/garbage
handbag/purse
aubergine/eggplant
courgette/zucchini
cooker/stove
curriculum vitae (CV)/résumé
fish fingers/fish sticks
colleague/co-worker
jumper/sweater
trousers/pants
knickers/panties
tights/pantyhose
These are just examples. You can find more on the internet.
Differences also exist for other regional variants of English, such as Australian or Indian English. For example, in India the word 'stitching' is used to mean 'sewing, dressmaking, tailoring'. It's best if the characters use the words common in their part of the world.
The tricky bit is whether to change the spelling as well. If your novel is in American English, and one character talks British English, you can give him British words, no problem. But should you spell everything he says in British English too? (e.g. travelled vs traveled, colour vs colour). There is no right or wrong answer here. You have to make a choice and stick with it.
Some regions have their own variants of English, often blended with remnants of an older local languages. Scots is a typical example.
To convey how a Scottish character talks, you may want to replace some English words with their Scots equivalent. Here are some Scots/English words.
dreich/cold, wet, miserable (weather)
wee/little
stor/dust
lass, lassie/girl
bairn/child
aye/yes
breeks/trousers
cloot/cloth, clothing
crabbit/ill-tempered
eejit/idiot
gloaming/dusk
paw/father
trouchle/trouble
Please note that the words in this list are just examples for your inspiration. A full dictionary, complete with differences between Highland and Lowlands Scots and other nuances, would exceed the scope of this guide.
You'll find more on the internet. Simply sprinkle a few Scots words into the English dialogue, and don't lay it on too thick.
Apply the same principles for other regional language variants.
FOREIGN LANGUAGES
If the characters converse in a foreign language, simply write it in English. The exception is if the PoV character overhears foreigners conversing in their tongue and doesn't understand it. Then you may want to render a couple of sentences in that language—but make sure it's correct. Ask a native, don't rely on Google Translate.
However, if the conversation is in English and a foreigner struggles to communicate, you can convey this in English words with foreign sentence construction:
“I do not believe that this right is,” Mary said. “My mother has this never so made.”
Simply take the sentence in the original language (in this case, German) and translate it word for word, without adjusting the syntax. This will sound authentic and be close to how a foreigner really talks. If you don't know the language, ask a native speaker for help.
If the foreigner has mastered the language, use correct English grammar, but perhaps with simple word choices and sentence constructions.
Don't use foreign words when foreigners speak English. They wouldn't use them, so the dialogue would ring false. The exception is concepts which cannot be translated into English. Some phrases simply don't have an English equivalent. The foreigner, groping for a way to translate her thought, may give up and use the familiar term in her mother tongue.
Another possible exception is a habit word. For example, an Arab may say 'Inshallah' if she's used to saying that a lot. As a German who's lived in Britain for more than twenty-five years, I speak English, write books in English, think in English, and I certainly don't use German words when talking with Britons. However, the word 'ja' (German for 'yes', 'yeah' or 'yep') sometimes slips in.
How do you format the foreign words? The modern way is not to format them in any special way. Just write them as part of the dialogue.
Examples:
"Ja, and the performance was great."
"We'll go home tomorrow, inshallah."
This is the approach I recommend. It looks (and therefore 'sounds') natural and doesn't halt the flow.
However, it's also acceptable to italicise the foreign words—in the above examples, 'ja' and 'inshallah'. This was customary in Victorian literature, at a time when authors frequently inserted phrases (and whole poems and quotations) in Latin or French to demonstrate their erudition. These days, a writer showing off her knowledge is frowned upon, lengthy quotes are considered dull, and italicised foreign words feel disruptive. But some publishers' house styles still ask for foreign words to be italicised, and if the publisher pays you, bow to their wish.
An issue that has caused me headaches is whether to capitalise the foreign words if they're capitalised in the original language. I feel they should be, because it's part of the correct spelling, but it looks wrong in English text, so I've stopped doing that.
FANTASY LANGUAGES
Writers of science fiction and fantasy often enjoy inventing foreign languages. Then, having invested all the time and imagination, they want to show off the result of their labour. Unfortunately, this seldom works well.
The same advice applies to invented languages as to real foreign tongues: write the dialogue in English.
Use words from that fantasy language only when the English language has no equivalent.
Unless the story's plot is about linguistics, it's seldom worth inventing details of a language.
By the way, when writing science fiction, many novices create alien languages filled with apostrophes, typically with a lot of T and L: “T'Leptl'lll,” she said. “L'T'llat'p'l't.” This may draw the ridicule of serious fans of the genre.
JARGON
When experts talk among themselves, they use terminology outsiders may not understand.
In many ways, this is similar to a regional variant of the English language: the syntax and most words are the same, but some words differ.
When deciding whether or not to use jargon for an expert, consider who he's talking to: in chats with people outside the field, only a few jargon words will creep in, but when he talks shop with colleagues, he'll use the terms of the trade as a matter of course.
For dialogue between experts, it's good to use some jargon, but you may want to tone it down. Readers don't mind the occasional word they don't understand, but if there are too many strange terms, their mind grows hazy and they lose interest.
ASSIGNMENT
Do you have a draft manuscript where a character hails from another country or region? Tweak his dialogue so it hints at his origins.
Or
Write a brief dialogue between an American and a Briton (or between an Englishwoman and a Scot, or whatever suits your story).
Read it aloud. Can you hear the differences? Do they sound natural and right? If not, keep tweaking the piece until it works.
21 PARANORMAL AND TELEPATHIC COMMUNICATIONS
If your character sends or receives messages which are expressed like dialogue, but without audible voice, how do you present these?
Examples:
* communication by thought transmission (telepathy)
* divine messages
* aliens making contact
* communications from the dead, perhaps through mediumship
* supernatural entities (e.g. ghosts, spirits) talking
* paranormal creatures (e.g. demons) talking in ways that can be understood but don't resemble human speech.
If you wish, you can simply format those communications like normal dialogue.
Alternatively, you can emphasise their difference, for example by using a different type font (if production technology allows it), by indenting them, by using bold, italics, double underlining, all capitals, each sentence starting with a das
h, or some other differentiation.
I recommend different formatting if this form of communication plays a major role in the plot. For example, in a novel about telepathy it's worth bolding or italicising all telepathic content.
You can also use 'speech patterns' to characterise this form of dialogue. Perhaps the entity speaks consistently in three-word sentences and single-syllabic words:
“Watch her hands. She speaks lies. Touch her face.”
Or maybe the communication is entirely in nouns and verbs, or whatever pattern feels right for your story. Be creative.
If possible, use beats to describe the PoV's physical experience of sending or receiving the communication.
Examples:
Mary raised the crown of her head, aligned her spine and spiralled her mind into tight focus to send her message. “Where are you?”
The back of John's neck tingled, and a hot wave swept over his skin. “Where are you?” Mary's message reverberated through his skull.
SAMPLE DIALOGUE FROM STORM DANCER
In Storm Dancer, Dahoud is possessed by a djinn (demon) that drives him to commit evil deeds. Dahoud fights to resist, but the djinn is manipulative with its messages. I gave the djinn a speech pattern—everything phrased as questions—and I rendered his dialogue in italics.
Here's an excerpt. Unlike other examples in this guide, I haven't put this in all italics, so you can see how I've italicised the djinn's speech:
The djinn slithered inside Dahoud, stirring a stream of fury, whipping his blood into a hot storm. Would she dare to disregard the Black Besieger? What lesson would he teach to punish her insolence?
ASSIGNMENT
Does your work in progress include paranormal, alien, telepathic or otherwise 'weird' communications? Decide how to format it, and choose a fitting speech pattern.
Revise the dialogue throughout the manuscript to make it consistent.
If you don't write this kind of fiction, skip this assignment.
22 HOW CHILDREN AND TEENAGERS TALK
The youngsters in your fiction should talk differently from the grown-ups. For authentic dialogue, let them talk like real kids of their age group.
Small children have a limited vocabulary of mostly short words. As they mature, they use a wider repertoire of words.. if they want to.
For parents, it's easy to get the tone right, but if you don't have kids yourself, this can be difficult.
I've asked parents to 'translate' some sentences into kidspeak.
"MOTHER, MAY I HAVE SOME ORANGE JUICE?"
Age 2: “Juice, Mama?”
Age 3-5: “Juice please, Mommy.”
Age 5: “Momma, I want orange juice.”
Age 5: “Mommy, I want juice.” (Followed by reminder to say 'please' and brief wrangling over another lesson in basic courtesy.)
Age 5-9: “Can I have juice?”
Age 6: “Mom, OJ now. Thirsty.”
Age 10: Sweetly, wheedling, accompanied by a hug. “Mom, can I please have some orange juice?”
Age 12: Antagonistic attitude and voice. “Mom, can I have some orange juice?”
Age 10-13: “Mom, if you are up, get me a glass of orange juice.”
Age 13: “Don't we have any juice?”
Age 14: “Mom, where's the juice?”
Girl age 15: (ironic tone) “Mom, if you are in the kitchen, can I have a glass of orange juice, pretty please with sugar on it?”
Boy age 14-15: Dramatic entrance clasping throat. “I'm sooo thirsty and gonna die if I don't get OJ.”
Boy age 15: “Mom, I'm dying here. I need a glass of orange juice and I'm in the middle of my game.”
"I HAVE NO IDEA WHO ATE THAT CAKE. IT WASN'T ME."
Age 5: “I didn't eat the cake! Did you eat the cake, Daddy?”
Age 5-8: “I didn't do it, Mommy, honest I didn't. The cake just disappeared.”
Age 7: Quick shake of the head, loud voice. “No! It was [insert name of sibling or pet].”
Age 5-9: “I was hungry.” or “[Insert name of sibling or pet] probably ate it.”
Age 10: Wheedling tone. “It wasn't me, really, well maybe.”
Age 12: Averted eyes, slight panic. “I didn't do it.”
Girl age 13-15: “Don't look at me, I'm on a diet. I didn't touch your cake.”
Boy age 12-15: “So if I did eat the cake, and I'm not saying I did, how much trouble would I be in?”
Age 14: “There was cake?”
Boy age 14-15: “Um, maybe.” Makes quick exit out of the kitchen.
"THIS JACKET IS UGLY. YOU CAN'T MAKE ME WEAR IT."
Age 3-5: Folded arms. “It's too tight, Mommy.” or “It makes my arms hurt, Mommy.”
Age 5: (in tones of long-suffering) “I don't want that coat. I guess I won't wear a coat.”
Age 5-9: “It's ugly and my friends will make fun of me.”
Age 5-10: “No, I hate it, I hate it. I won't wear it ever.”
Age 6: Flips the arms, the hood or the sides and looks at them, finally tears the thing off with a loud “No!”
Age 10: “I do not like the looks of this, please don't make me wear it.”
Age 10-17: “It's hideous. If you like it so much, you wear it.”
Age 12-15: “Don't even think about it, no way am I wearing that thing.”
Girl age 12-15: “You're kidding, aren't you? Really, you are kidding me. No way.”
Age 14: “It's fine. I'm not cold.”
Girl age 14: “This is so not it. No way.”
Girl age 16-17: “Like in public? It'd be social suicide to wear that thing.”
"THE PARTY WAS WONDERFUL. GREAT MUSIC, FANTASTIC FOOD. I HAD A GOOD TIME."
Age 3-5: "I don't want to go home."
Age 5: "The party was fun. I ate cake and candy and I played games and Lucy cried."
Age 10: "Boy, it was great. We had cake and stuff. Billy picked his nose and ate a bogger and we laughed until we peed our pants."
Age 12: "I had a good time, it was great I guess?"
Age 11-17: "It was rad. DJ rocked. Can we get pizza from [insert name]?"
Age 14: "It was fine."
Age 14: "Eh, it was okay. The cool kids were more worried about using their lint rollers and the most of the girls just pointed at everyone talking about their clothes, hair, stupid stuff like that. Oh! I saw this video on YouTube where this......." (followed by a long talk about something that has no bearing on the question.)
Teenager any age, in reply to a parent's question: "Great." or "Good." or "Fun." No details provided.
These examples are meant as a starting point. The youngsters in your story may talk differently, depending on their personality and attitudes, so tweak the speech patterns to fit.
If you write a lot about teenagers—especially in the Young Adult (YA) genre—spend time listening to or chatting with teens, to get a feel for when and how they talk.
ASSIGNMENT
1. Go somewhere where you can eavesdrop on teenage conversations—a diner or coffee shop, perhaps, the skateboard rink or a hangout in the park. Without appearing to listen, jot down some of their utterances into a notebook.
2. If you have a child or teenage character in the story you're currently working on, write or revise a section of their dialogue so it's typical for someone of their age.
23 HOW PEOPLE TALK IN HISTORICAL FICTION
The main question historical fiction authors face is how 'historical' the dialogue should sound.
If the characters talk in modern English, it feels inauthentic, but if they speak like they did in their time, the reader won't understand it.
As with many dialogue issues, the solution lies in creating an illusion of reality rather than an imitation of it.
Since your characters represent the real people of their era, they talk the language that's modern for their time... and that's best represented by modern English.
So go ahead and write the dialogue in modern English. However, I advise some modifications.
Very modern jargon feels jarring, so I suggest avoiding words which entered our vocabulary in the past fifty years such as 'down-sizing' and 'micro-managing'.
To create a period feel, sprinkle a few period terms into the text. Here are a few suggestions. Some of the words are still used in modern English, albeit less often.