"No I wasn't. I was trying to get her to admit she was a Carrier."
"She was in shock for God's sake, Shay! We almost pissed ourselves when we found out, how do you think she felt?" Carson spat. His disapproving glare was enough to make her regret her decisions all on its own. "Her friends left, by the way. They heard you screaming about her being a Carrier. They wanted nothing to do with her."
"So they ditched her?" She asked as a twinge of remorse nibbled away at her. It wasn't her intention to get her abandoned. She'd never intended to snap like that at all. God, what's happening to me?
"Yeah. Is she really one of us?"
"Yeah, but I doubt she'll have anything to do with us after what I did." She replied, keeping her eyes downcast towards the water.
"So then go apologize!" Axel butted in.
"When was the last time you apologized to someone?" she spat back numbly. Her anger was bubbling away as the events of the day slowly started to seep back into her mind. It was terrifying how unstable Marena's death was starting to make her. She couldn't keep losing control like this.
"I'm waiting." Alexandria glowered, sitting in the shallows with arms crossed across her chest.
"Look, I'm sorry. I'm not in the best state… My best friend…" Shay faltered, a lump forming in her throat. The wound was still too fresh to say "Marena" and "Dead" in the same sentence.
"Oh, I'm… I'm sorry. But am I really... Am I really a Carrier?"
All three of them nodded. Her blue eyes widened in a mixture of fear and surprise.
"I can understand if you don't want to come with us, and I can't say you'll be safer as the entire country currently wants us dead, but it couldn't hurt, right?" Carson told her, a small smile on his face. He was just trying to be friendly, probably repairing some of the damages his girlfriend caused. Marena wasn't there to pick up her messes anymore. Someone else had to.
Alexandria shifted in the water, palming her neck. She seemed to be lost in thought, probably pondering her options in her head. Their ranks had been thinned but neither loss was easily replaceable- both deaths had taken away something far more valuable than a strong, rounded survivor. It had taken away the very best of friendships, the type that was difficult to find. Even if another person joined they would not be filling the hole another left behind, simply boosting the numbers- expendable.
"I have no idea how to shoot a gun. I just graduated high school; I don't have my own place. I have nowhere safe to go. I don't want to risk being caught alone, I'd stand no chance." She stated slowly while still rubbing her neck. "I feel like it would be smarter to go with you."
The revelation that Alexandria was eighteen surprised her- she looked older than the dark haired girl at only sixteen. Shay's confusion aside, she was making a lot of sense. She wouldn't be much of a valid addition if she had no knowledge of guns but she couldn't deny her entrance- it would be like sealing her fate.
"Well, Shay?" Carson said, turning to face her.
"You're welcome to join us," she told her, avoiding looking in Alexandria's direction at all. "But I can't promise you'll live any longer than you would on your own."
Chapter 33
Everyone returned to their campsite in low spirits, Shay especially. On the ride to return she sat away from everyone else, finding comfort in isolation. Carson had tried to sit by her but she ushered him away, wishing for solitude. He looked hurt, but she knew he understood. He knew her a little too well not to.
On that ride back was when she finally came to terms with it, finally allowed it to register in her mind- Marena was dead. She'd known it, but her denial fought hard to accept that fact for several hours. As soon as she was alone she finally surrendered, knowing refusing to accept it wouldn't bring her back. Marena had died slowly and she was within inches of saving her- that was what hurt worst of all.
They returned to the campsite shortly after in low spirits, words hardly being spoken between anyone. Katrina and Axel both came up and offered condolences but she shut them out, just nodding her head as soon as she saw their lips start moving. Nobody will be able to say the right thing. Don't listen to a word they say.
The moment the others were no longer paying attention to her she slipped away to the truck, climbing inside the driver's compartment and curling up in the seats, holding her head in her hands. Her eyes and throat were itchy and raw- she didn't think it was going to be possible to cry any more.
She didn't know it, but she had fallen asleep. She opened her eyes to find herself underwater, instantly confused. Scanning the water she found nothing, no reason as to why she was down there- then she saw her. It was definitely Marena. She looked as she had when she died, ugly wound beneath her hairline still seeping blood into the water. A bruise had formed on her stomach, dark and ugly, from the second blow. For a moment she could have foolishly believed she was alive.
Marena kept swimming towards the surface, yet whenever she got close to breaking it invisible hands forced her back down. Every time a look of confusion would cloud her features and she'd try again, the same events happening over and over, repeating like a broken record. It was painful to watch.
She woke to a rapping on the glass and a shouting of her name. Recognizing Carson's voice she ripped away the towel covering the window, revealing his face pressing in on the other side.
"Do you want anything from the store?" He asked through the glass, referencing the small, dainty general store at the front of the campsite. Concern clouded his eyes and he furrowed his brow as he looked her over. "You don't look too good."
It was just a dream, she realized with a rush of relief. Marena wasn't trapped underwater for eternity. It provided her with little comfort yet it was something, a slight assurance maybe she really was in a better place.
Still in not much mood to speak she opened the door and slipped out, bare feet coming to rest on gravel.
"I'll take that as you're coming," he said again, gracing his hand across her shoulder. She looked up at him, eyes gazing into his. "I'm sorry, I really am. It's going to be a lot different without her." She just nodded in response.
Everyone with the exception of Laylia and Alexandria were headed to the store, each planning on buying a few things. According to Katrina the two dark haired girls had become fast friends- looked like Laylia had found a replacement for Jaycee already. This surprised her, as Laylia and Jaycee had shared a bond similar to the one she'd shared with Marena, and no one would ever replace Marena.
As they reached the building Carson pulled her aside and back behind the building. She avoided eye contact, already expecting what he was going to say. He was going to try to console her, again, despite his failure the first time.
"Shay I'm-"
"I know, you're sorry," she cut him off. "It's okay. It wasn't your fault."
"No, you don't understand. It's not just you who's grieving. I know she was your best friend but you weren't the only one who cared and respected her. You missed it while you were asleep, but we all got to talking about her and the things she did. She's left a big hole."
Carson then pulled her into a hug and she buried her face in the soft fabric of his t-shirt. His hand was resting on the back of her head, slowly stroking her hair. She doubted he'd be able to say the right thing, and he really hadn't, yet something about being in his arms comforted her. At least she still had him. He kissed the top of her forehead softly.
"I'm still here, and I'll always be here." Don't make a promise you can't keep, Carson. Some things are out of your control.
"I don't know about you, but I'm really freakin' hungry," she said, suppressing a small smile. She'd made the quick decision she no longer wished to discuss Marena. The wound was still raw and would be for a while- it was best to let it lie. She wasn't sure she'd be able to keep another breakdown bottled. I have to stay strong for them, no matter how much I'm hurting.
"You're sounding a little bit more like the Shay I know," he replied, grinning as he released her.
They entered the store, little bell chiming above their heads as they did. The others were scattered about, some prowling down the aisles of food while others eyed beverages. Katrina was currently looking over the array of squirt guns for concerning unknown reasons. She felt herself gravitating towards the food, stomach growling as a little reminder to just how hungry she really was.
She stopped near Axel, who was currently deciding whether to purchase Doritos or Cheetos. He looked up when she stopped beside him, a pain she wasn't expecting to see in his eyes. What reason would he have to be that upset about Marena's death? She racked her brain only to come up with nothing. Screw it, I'd rather not know anyways.
"Whatever you want, it's on me," he told her kindly, smiling weakly. She didn't acknowledge him. He shrugged and tossed the Cheetos back on the rack.
"No, I want those." She barked at him. He picked them back up and rolled his eyes.
The bell in the doorway chimed. She turned cautiously, half expecting to find a group of agents standing just inside the doors. Instead of agents she found two men she loathed- the water patrol officers.
The heavyset one was holding his hand to his head, blood seeping between meaty fingers. His friend, Marena's killer, was guiding him to the front desk, his friend spewing incoherent mumblings. At the sight of them her whole body went rigid, hands clenched into fists. The urge to beat them until the life faded from their eyes was almost at the point of being irresistible- she was rash, but she usually had Marena at her side to talk her down. Not anymore.
"Those bastards," Axel spat behind her. She turned around and looked into his hazel eyes. He nodded his head, both reaching a mutual understanding- they were going to make them pay.
She made her way over to the fridge where the beverages were stored, looking in through the glass door. A row of cokes in glass bottles caught her eye.
"Perfect," she whispered before snatching two out of the fridge, handing one to Axel. The two officers barged right up to the counter, demanding to know if they had any medical supplies. The old woman at the desk kept shaking her head, yet they kept rudely demanding they needed some. You killed a fifteen year old girl and now you're badgering an old woman. You two really are complete bastards.
Amidst the arguing Carson slunk behind them unnoticed, keeping his head low. He stopped beside her and leaned in to whisper in her ear. "Those are those water patrol bastards, am I right?"
"Yes, they are." She hissed as she locked eyes with him, fists clenching so tightly her knuckles were going white. "Go back to the campsite and get me a gun. I'm killing the bastard."
" Shay, that might not be the best idea…"
"I don't care if it's the worst idea in the world, I'm fucking killing him! Now go get me a gun." She ordered sternly. Carson swallowed hard, looking as if he might turn down her command, but he turned and strode out the door without a word of objection.
She gripped the coke bottle tight in her hand, knowing exactly what she was going to do with it. She walked up behind the two ranting men, waiting for a few minutes before impatiently tapping on the shoulder of the one she recognized as Marena's killer. He whipped around to face her, a sneer forming on his lips.
"Would you mind hurrying it up?" She spat smugly, holding her bottle in the air. "I kinda need to buy this."
"Wait, I know yo-"she cut him off as she swung the bottle at him, slamming it against his skull. It exploded with a pop, glass and coke flying in all directions. He screamed and fell to the floor as Axel tackled the heavyset one, ramming him into a rack of chips. As the man was still screaming she pinned him down, staring right into his eyes. Blood was rushing down his face, slipping into his eyes and mouth. He bucked beneath her but she only increased her force, effectively pinning him. The man was small and she was strong- it was hardly a fair battle.
"You killed my best friend." She snarled through gritted teeth, bringing her face inches away from his. "And now I'm going to kill you too."
"Oh really, with what?" He spat back, flashing her a devilish grin.
"This," she spat, reaching for the broken, jagged glass. She groped the air a few times before it hit her that her weapon was no longer where it should be- and that was when it came slamming into her head.
Shay screamed in pain as the jagged ends dug into the skin, agony exploding across her head. As she was sent reeling from her wound the officer took advantage of this and flipped her backwards straight into the counter. Her head smacked against the metal, lolling after impact. She cried out, eyes squeezed together. Excruciating pain was all she could feel as she moved her hand to the back of her head, palm coming away red and sticky. She'd forgotten head wounds bled like hell.
The officer whipped his gun out of his belt, aiming it right between her eyes. She smirked, breathing heavily. The bell chimed once again and she looked up to see Carson standing in the doorway, 9 mm clutched tightly in his hands and blood splattered across his shirt. Why does he have blood on him? She tried to think for a few moments of possible reasons, yet only one clear thought would form in her mind- they're here.
"Go ahead. Killing Marena and I both will make you one rich bastard," she taunted, brown eyes seemingly provoking him to do it. She was confident that he wouldn't even get the chance- Carson would shoot him dead before he even touched the trigger.
He didn't get the chance to, for Axel struck him across the head with his bottle. The man's eyes rolled up in his skull and he collapsed on the floor, shards of glass buried in his skin. Axel turned and she weakly nodded at him in thanks, cringing at the pain that even the slightest movements caused.
The bell above the door chimed again. Her heart leapt into her throat as she saw who came inside. No. There's no way they found us!
` "Carson!" she screamed in an attempt to warn him, yet her cry came too late. One of the agents brought his gun down hard on the top of his head and his legs crumpled beneath him. His body collapsed to the floor as his eyes rolled back into his skull, unconscious.
Reacting as fast as she could she dove for the blood covered floor, aiming to snatch the officer's gun. She over-projected her leap, instead sending herself crashing into a rack of junk food. The metal rack and the contents came crashing down on top of her, rendering her unable to fight, for her strength was gushing out onto the tiles and she couldn't seem to force the heavy metal off. She was finding it difficult to fight back the blackness that lurked at the edges of her vision like midnight shadows; the fear that she might be dying started to kick in. No, please, not yet… She pleaded silently, even though she knew God would take no mercy on her. She didn't deserve it.
The agent kicked Carson's gun away. It slid across the floor, almost landing within her reach. She strained to get her hands on it, grunting with pain as she stretched as much as she could. It was no use.
The agent quickly handcuffed him before standing up to address them. She waited for him to speak only he never did- he instead grabbed the unconscious Carson by the arms and began to pull him backwards and out the door. The bell chimed gleefully and they were gone.
"Let him go!" She tried to scream but was too weak to muster more than a small shout. She couldn't lose her best friend and boyfriend both in the span of a few hours. It just couldn't happen. Karma couldn't come back and bite her this hard just yet.
Axel and Owen rushed over, making no drag in lifting the rack off her battered body. Blood was running down her face from the head wound, some even seeping into her open mouth. She had gone limp, eyes absently gazing towards the door he had just been dragged out of. She watched helplessly through the glass as the car sped off, weak with the knowledge he was locked up in the back.
"Are you okay?" Axel asked, holding his hand out as if inviting her to take it. She knew she didn't have the strength to.
She didn't respond. She obviously wasn't okay, both physical and mentally. Her best friend was dead and her boyfriend had been taken, ultimately to his own death. The two people she cared about most, stripped away. Physically she w
as drained, yet her head kept bleeding. Her eyes drifted towards the floor for a few moments, bouncing back up when she saw the small crimson puddle that was forming beneath her.
She was fading, slipping slowly into unconsciousness. Maybe she was dying. She didn't know, but it sure felt like she could die. I don't have anything left now she thought weakly, feeling the last of her strength fading. If her survival came down to her will to live, she wouldn't make it. Her vision was blurring. She could only faintly hear the conversation between Katrina, Axel and Owen, their voices hazy and distant. I can't leave them, I… She was unable to finish the thought.
"Why would they only take Carson?" Owen said, a confused look on his face. "Why not take the rest of us? We were unarmed!"
"My question is why didn't they kill him? Why didn't they try to kill all of us? That's what they've been trying to do since the beginning." Katrina replied, her voice laced with worry. "I'm scared they might have something worse in the works for us."
That was when it hit her like a speeding train- these weren't random coincidences. The water patrol had called the Government claiming they'd killed a Carrier. They later arrived at the store and the fight went down while she sent Carson back to get a gun and they'd most likely attacked him there. She could only assume what he had to do to make it back to the store. They'd taken Carson not simply because they had the power to, but because they knew Shay would go after him. They knew she was the leader, thus bringing the others along with her. They would be waiting for her and the Carriers with their fingers on the trigger. They've been waiting for this opportunity all along!
She opened her mouth to tell them but the last of her strength was gone. Her head dropped to the floor and everything went dark.
It stayed dark.
Chapter 34
Katrina noticed her first. The last time she'd laid eyes on Shay she'd been fading, the strength and confidence she was so used to seeing slipping away. They'd gotten lost in conversation, debating what they needed to do. It was then that she looked down, discovering her limp on the floor, head surrounded by a bloody halo.
Carriers Page 26