The Beast Within

by S. C. Stephens

  Trey’s brows creased, like my nonchalant answer bothered him. “No, I mean it. I know I tell you stuff like that all the time but…I’m not joking, or doing whatever it is you think I’m doing when I tell you you’re hot.” Looking me directly in the eye, he said, “You’re the prettiest girl here tonight.”

  My cheeks felt overly warm, and I wanted to look away, but couldn’t. Somehow, his words made me instantly aware of just how close our bodies were. It felt odd to be in such a romantic position with him, but, it felt sort of nice too, and it had been a while since I’d felt simple niceness.

  Maybe feeling bolstered by the fact that I hadn’t run from the room screaming, Trey straightened and added, “That dude’s a dick for dumping you.”

  That made me finally look away. A giant slice of pain tore up my spine; I was surprised the sting of it didn’t crumple me to my knees.

  “Ah, shit. I’m sorry, Nika. I shouldn’t have said that.” I looked up at Trey’s adorable, remorseful face. He shrugged, his eyes apologetic. “I’m sorry,” he repeated.

  Even though I felt hollow, my momentary happiness gone, I gave him a smile. “It’s fine.” With an empty laugh, I added, “You’re right, anyway. He is a dick.” I wasn’t sure if I believed that—Hunter was just massively confused—but it felt good to say it. Brightening, I told Trey, “The biggest dick I’ve ever met.”

  Seeing my humor, Trey grinned, and I was again taken aback by the attractiveness of his smile. “A supersized dick!” he exclaimed.

  Some of the dancers around who were busy having a “moment” gave Trey annoyed glances at his outburst. It made me laugh in a way I hadn’t laughed in a long time, and it felt great. As my levity returned, Trey gazed at me with soft eyes. “You have a great laugh,” he said. “You should use it more often.”

  A feeling settled over me as Trey and I locked eyes. It was…warm. Comfortable. Tightening my arms around his neck, I told him, “You have a great smile.”

  His reaction was, of course, to smile, but then he started leaning down. At first, I thought he was just moving closer to tell me something, but his eyes were glued to my mouth, and I knew no words were going to be involved here. My heart started to race and nerves shot through every inch of me. Oh my God. Trey, my brother’s flirtatious, stoner best friend, is going to kiss me. I almost couldn’t comprehend it. I definitely didn’t want him to kiss me, but how did I turn him down without hurting his feelings?

  When his lips were just inches from completing the connection, I felt something that chilled my entire body like ice water. I jerked back, releasing Trey. Thinking he’d gone too far with me, Trey immediately started apologizing again. I didn’t know how to tell Trey that, while I wasn’t interested in kissing him, it wasn’t him that had made me move away. He wasn’t the one making my blood run cold. I didn’t know how to tell Trey anything. I wasn’t sure if I could even speak right now.

  Hunter was here. Right outside. Why?

  Stepping away from Trey, I stared at the wall separating Hunter from me. Halina was out there with him, but that barely registered. Why was Hunter here? I needed to know. I needed to see him. I needed to go…

  Not looking at Trey, I told him, “I’m sorry…” and started striding through the crowd. I wanted to blur so badly, but not using my gifts was too ingrained in me, and I shoved my way through the dancing couples at a regular pace. I felt my parents and my brother moving toward me, but I ignored them as I bullied my way through the annoyed students to get to the doors. I managed to get away from my parents—they were behind me, and couldn’t catch up unless they phased in a room full of humans, something they would never do unless it was absolutely necessary—but I couldn’t escape my brother. He was between me and the exit.

  I tried to avoid him, but he cut me off. “Out of my way, Julian,” I snipped, annoyed at the obstruction.

  I moved to the side, but he moved over too. “No, Nick. Let it go. Stay here.”

  “I have to go. Please move.” Glaring at him, I stepped the other way. He moved over to block me. Frustrated didn’t even begin to describe how I felt. And feeling Julian’s compassion didn’t help me one tiny little bit. Tossing my hands in the air, I told him, “You owe me.” I gave Arianna a meaningful look after I said it. If Julian and Arianna were really going to have sex tonight, the least they could do was let me have a few minutes with my wayward boyfriend.

  Julian glanced at his date, wrestled with his conflicting desires for a second, and then stepped aside. Feeling my parents getting closer, I grabbed Julian’s arm and whispered in his ear, “Do whatever you have to do, just give me time…” Pulling back, I indicated Mom and Dad with my head. Julian sighed, but nodded. He’d play along. Arianna looked confused as I ran past my brother. I’d let him fill her in, since I didn’t have time. Julian would only be able to delay Dad for so long.

  Knowing time was of the essence, I crashed through the doors like a woman possessed. Adrenaline, fear, and hope pounded through my body. I think the hope was the hardest one to deal with. Why was Hunter here? Had he come here for me? To patch things up? And if he had, could I forgive him for what he’d done? For lifting me up, then tearing out my heart?

  The second I was outside, Hunter’s form streaked to the roof. Disappointment hit me like a wall. Was he running from me? Why come here if he didn’t want to see me? Halina approached while I debated if I should run after him or not. Leaning against the cold metal door of the gym, I gulped in air while Halina tried to look through the window my back was pressed against. “Was there a fire?” she asked, a smirk in her voice.

  Shaking my head, I stepped forward. The night air made goosebumps burst up and down my arms, but I didn’t care. All I cared about were answers. Had Hunter changed his mind? Was he starting to accept who he was? Was hope returning to him…to us? “What are you guys doing here?” I asked in a pant.

  Grabbing her wild mess of black-as-night locks, Halina swirled her hair into an updo. Pushing out her hip, she murmured, “It’s been a while since I’ve gone dancing. It sounded like fun.” I glanced down at the tight, party dress she was wearing, the thigh-high boots. I was certain she really would enjoy a night of dancing, but I was also certain that wasn’t why she was here with Hunter.

  “Why is Hunter here?” I watched her eyes as intently as a hawk watched for movement in the grass, ripples in the stream. Did she know something?

  Halina sighed as she dropped her hair. It fell down her back in loose waves. “We didn’t mean to disrupt your evening, Nika. Why don’t you go back inside?”

  Her words didn’t sound encouraging, and grief threatened to drown me, but I pushed it back. “Not until I talk to him,” I told her. Turning, I stared upward, to the roof. After a brief squat, I jumped straight up into the air. I used every supernatural muscle I had, but even so, I wasn’t sure if it was enough; I wasn’t quite as enhanced as the purebloods, and it was a bit of a leap to the roof. I made it to the ledge, but I forgot about my heels. My ankle twisted on the unstable footing, and I cried out in pain as my knees buckled. I could tell I was going to fall backward, straight off the ledge, and I instinctively reached out for something to hold onto. What I found was an ice-cold hand reaching for me.

  I locked eyes with Hunter right as he pulled me safely away from the lip and onto the flat, stable part of the roof. He held me in his arms while I tried not to cringe in pain. My ankle throbbed and standing on it hurt, but being this close to him again sliced me open. “What were you thinking?” he asked, anger in his voice.

  My grandmother sighed, muttered, “Good luck,” and entered the gym.

  “What are you doing here?” I responded, shoving him away from me. I put too much weight on my injured foot and stumbled to the ground. Hunter was right there, kneeling over me. His eyes scoured my body, then focused on my feet. His soothing hands wrapped around my ankle, and I nearly purred in relief. Vampire hands. Nature’s ice packs.

  “You’re hurt?” he whispered, concern replacing his ange
r.

  “I’ll be fine.”

  His dark eyes peeked up at me again. There was a decent amount of light pollution in the sky, so his eyes weren’t glowing at me, but I could see the subtle phosphorescence highlighting the whiteness. He looked just as frail and sickly as before, and I wondered if he’d had anything at all to drink since I’d seen him last. Probably not, nothing more than a sip or two, not enough to sustain him and keep him strong.

  “What were you thinking, making a jump like that in an outfit like this?” His gaze lingered on my curves, and I suddenly didn’t feel cold anymore.

  Ignoring his question, I repeated, “What are you doing here?”

  Not answering me, his eyes shifted to his hands on my ankle. So, he was going to ignore my question too, huh? Sitting up, I placed my warm hands over his. “Hunter? Why did you come here?”

  Silently, I begged him to tell me that he was here because he just couldn’t bear to be apart from me anymore, that he’d found a reason to go on: me. That he didn’t mean it when he said he didn’t love me like I loved him.

  Like he could hear my inner thoughts, and he wished I wasn’t having them, Hunter let out a weary sigh. “I’m just keeping an eye on things. Large gatherings usually attract a vampire or two.” He looked up at me. “I didn’t want anybody to get hurt tonight.” He lifted his lip in a sarcastic smile as he gently squeezed my ankle. “Guess I failed.”

  My hope evaporated in a puff of smoke. “You were just…doing your job? Even though you’re a…? Even after everything that happened to you?”

  His mouth tightened into a firm line. “I’m still a hunter. It’s who I am.” Just as I was wondering if he would still hunt me, he lowered his eyes and quietly added, “I won’t hurt your family, Nika.” He let out a sound that was full of pain. “They’re all I have now…”

  There was so much heartache in that sentence that I couldn’t stand it anymore. I had to comfort him, and I gently placed my hand on his back. “I’m sorry about what happened to you. I’m sorry about your father.”

  Hunter’s eyes snapped up to mine. “He abandoned me. He just...left. We’ve always had each other’s backs, always, and he walked away. No…he ran away.” Bitterness and hatred surged though his voice. Whatever bond had been between father and son was broken now. Hunter would never forgive him for leaving in his moment of greatest need. But I wasn’t his father, and I wasn’t leaving him. Ever.

  I rubbed a circle into his rigid back. “I’m here for you, whenever you need me. I’ll never abandon you.”

  Giving me a confused look, Hunter whispered, “Were you going to kiss that boy?”

  By the chill that flashed through my body, you would have thought he’d shoved an icicle through my heart. “You saw…” My gaze slid behind him, to the ground. He’d been watching me through the gym doors, and his sharp eyes had seen that misleading moment with Trey. My eyes returned to his. “No, that wasn’t what it looked like.”

  Hunter’s gaze returned to my ankle. “Doesn’t matter, Nika. You and I aren’t together, so if you want to kiss him…it’s okay.”

  His hands pulled away from my numb skin, and I knew he was seconds from leaving. Scooting forward, I grabbed his jacket. “It does matter, because you and I…” I didn’t know how to voice what we were; I wasn’t sure how to classify us. But I knew we were something, and so long as we were, I wouldn’t let another boy kiss me.

  Hunter’s dark eyes focused on my lips, much like Trey’s had earlier. Shaking his head, he murmured, “I meant what I said before. I can’t love you like you need me to. Don’t waste your life waiting for me.” He cupped my cheek, and my breath increased. Leaning closer, so our lips almost touched, he whispered, “I’m never going to be who you need me to be. I’ll never be anything but a monster.”

  “That’s not true,” I whispered back, closing the space between us.

  I thought he might move away, but like every other time, he didn’t. As our mouths worked together, Hunter’s hand on my cheek slid through my hair to rest at the back of my neck. Exhaling in a groaning growl, he held me to him. Sitting up on my knees, our lips never pausing, I held his face in my hands, then carefully repositioned myself so I was straddling his lap. Hunter melted under my heat. The rigidness left his body as his free hand trailed down my back. I reveled in our reconnection, hoping it lasted.

  “Why are you really here?” I murmured between our lips. It couldn’t just be for vampires.

  Hunter’s breath was faster, his eyes hooded. “I was jealous. I had to see for myself…who this guy was…your date. I know I shouldn’t be here…I’m sorry. I couldn’t stay away.”

  My heart started to race. Jealousy…over me? He was sorry? He wasn’t apathetic…he did care. He did love me. We could get through this. We could be together again. “Trey’s a friend, nothing more,” I told him as my fingers ran back through his hair.

  “He wants more,” Hunter murmured, his eyes flashing with covetous anger.

  Wanting him more than I’d ever wanted anyone in my life, I laced my arms around his neck. “I want you,” I whispered, before pressing my lips against his, hard and fierce. He loved me, and I loved him too. I wanted to show him just how great we could be together.

  Hunter responded instantly. Blurring us, he changed our positions so my back was flat against the gritty roof and he was lying on top of me. I couldn’t believe this was happening. I couldn’t control my excitement, how much I wanted him, how much I needed him. Julian, and what he was feeling from me now, was only a faint concern in the very back of my head, and I thanked God for the thumping bass in the gym. There was no way my family could hear what was happening over that noise. Whatever my brother was doing to distract Mom and Dad, I hoped he could keep it up for a little while longer. I didn’t want Hunter to stop touching me…

  As Hunter pressed his hips against mine, I wrapped my legs around him. I couldn’t even feel the pain in my ankle anymore. It didn’t even matter. I gasped as I physically felt Hunter’s need for me. He did want me…he couldn’t deny what we were both feeling. As his lips moved down my neck, I cinched my fingers into his hair. His tongue ran along my jugular, and I moaned his name in his ear. Oh God, I wanted him so much. I’d missed him so much.

  One of his hands ran up my legs, under my dress. Once his hand was at my hip, his fingers slipped under my underwear. I wanted him to touch me. I thought I might die if he didn’t. In the back of my mind, disgust flooded through me, but it was coming from Julian, not me—all I felt was fire. I pushed Julian’s emotions away as I ran my hands down Hunter’s chest to his jeans.

  When I started unbuttoning them, Hunter’s hand left my hip, and he grabbed my wandering fingers. His face returned to mine; his fangs were down and long as multiple desires flooded through him. “No,” he growled.

  I yanked my hands away from his grasp and returned to his jeans. “Yes…”

  Hunter grabbed my wrists and brought them above my head. He leaned over me, his weight crushing every inch of me. It felt…amazing. “No,” he murmured again.

  My control long gone, I squirmed beneath him. “Please? I love you. I want more.”

  He stilled my hips by pressing his against mine; we both let out low groans. I could tell the animal inside him was begging to be let out. I felt the same. Irrational as it was, as much as we’d both probably regret it later, I wanted him. Pulling one of my hands free, I grabbed Hunter’s neck and pulled his mouth to mine. “Please…don’t stop. I want you.”

  His voice was strained as our hips moved together in a seductive rhythm that was slowly driving me toward the brink of something…amazing. “No, Nika, the ways I want you…aren’t right.”

  Feeling his fangs against my lips, I knew exactly what way he wanted me. I wanted it too. The last time he’d nearly bitten me the idea of it had driven me crazy. Now, when I was feeling completely unrestrained, it couldn’t be any other way. This had to happen. I needed him to bite me. I needed him to drink from me. I needed it…no
w.

  I removed my fingers from his hair, and trailed them down his chilly cheek. Nearly purring with need, he leaned against my hand as our hips continued rocking together. I felt like my entire world was spinning as several different cravings pummeled me at once. I never wanted this to end. When Hunter’s eyes fluttered closed, I rubbed my wrist across his lips, encouraging him to open his mouth and take me in. The veins there were close to the surface; he could probably feel the pulse of my life against his skin.

  Hunter’s mouth opened on instinct, his lips conforming to my shape. I felt his tongue trace my vein, and I gasped. His eyes sprang open, and he automatically released me. Our lower bodies froze as Hunter’s gaze locked onto the blood he could see surging beneath my flesh. “Do it,” I begged, my voice breathless with desire. “It’s okay. You need it, and I want it.”

  He immediately flew off me. Panting, eyes wide, he stood five feet away from me. The loss of his chill made me shiver. I looked up at him as I lowered my wrist. Oh God, why had I pushed him in that way? I knew how he felt about it. How disgusted he was by the desire to drink. I’d just never had a longing like that…ever. But it was a part of who I was too. I was a vampire. Vampires bite. Vampires shared blood. It was in both of our natures.

  Backing away, he shook his head. “Don’t…ever…do that again.” As he examined my wrinkled dress, my heaving chest, my tousled hair, his face instantly turned remorseful. Even before he said it, I knew our moment was over. “That shouldn’t have happened. That’s not why I came here.”

  Anger shot through me as I struggled to my feet. I was so tired of hearing him say that to me. “Right. You only came here to protect the humans. From what though? You’re the biggest threat out here tonight, and you won’t bite anything!” I tossed my hands into the air. “So, I guess you did your job. Congratulations!”

  I hadn’t meant to say any of that, but his hot and cold behavior was really starting to piss me off. Hunter hissed at me, then retracted his fangs. He inhaled a deep breath, composing himself. “I’ll help you get back down, since your ankle is still injured.”