The Beast Within

by S. C. Stephens

  Walking around me, Hunter murmured, “I’ll see you later.”

  I was smiling when he left the room. Julian gave me a blank stare, then he rolled his eyes and headed back up to his room. He was less upset about Hunter than earlier, but he still wasn’t about to act happy about my relationship with a former vampire hunter.

  MY SISTER WAS being stupid. She just couldn’t seem to help herself when it came to Hunter. It was like all common sense flew out the window when he was around. And why? Because he was tall, dark, and, according-to-her, handsome? There was no way he was the only brooding, attractive man in the world, and I was sure I could find her a half-dozen other guys to fill the void. Guys who didn’t have an innate desire to destroy our species.

  Freaking Hunter Evans.

  Maybe I was being too hard on him, but he really got under my skin. Sure, he was going through an enormous, life-changing event, but he’d starved himself nearly to the breaking point. Idiot. How was making himself even more dangerous to the human population helping anything? He should have sucked it up from the beginning, and accepted that he lived on blood now. And what was the big deal about drinking cow’s blood anyway? It just went to waste. At least we were making some good out of it. Hunter was being stubborn just for the sake of being stubborn, and that didn’t sit right with me.

  While I stewed in bed, I listened to Nika popping open frozen containers and slopping them into the jug. I almost told her that she should heat it up first, so it wouldn’t be half-slush when Mom and Dad woke up, but I wasn’t in the mood to help her cover up her covert relationship with a vampire hunter who was also a vampire.

  Freaking Hunter.

  Arms crossed over my chest, I stared at the ceiling and fumed. All of this was his fault. Raquel being used as bait was a trap for him. And now she was under the impression that she’d created the wounds herself. On prom night. The student body was going to have a field day with that. And I couldn’t tell anybody what really happened. Dad was right about that. I wanted to call Raquel, talk to her, but I felt torn about it. Arianna wouldn’t be happy if I reached out to Raquel. Not with our history. Or, my history, I guess I should say.

  Damn Hunter and his stupid vampire hunting friends.

  I awoke to the sounds of Mom and Dad shuffling around downstairs, making breakfast. Guess my turmoil had calmed enough at some point that I’d zonked out. I’d had really weird dreams though. I couldn’t completely remember the details of them, accept that Hunter was there, laughing his ass off as more and more pieces of my life fell apart. Even in my dreams he was a dick. God, I hated him.

  As I stood and stretched, I heard Dad ask Mom, “Why is the blood in the fridge half-frozen?”

  I smirked as I stood up. Good question, Dad. Maybe you should check the stash in the freezer. Do a quick inventory. Then maybe you should repeat that question to your daughter. I’d really love to hear her answer.

  Nika was in the shower, her mood still elated from her secret rendezvous with Jerk-hole, so I tossed on some clean clothes and ambled downstairs to eat. Dad was stirring the blood when I entered the room; it smelled amazing, and my stomach growled. Peeking up at me, he asked, “You know anything about this?”

  I shook my head. “I just got up.” Even irritated at her, I wouldn’t throw Nika under the bus.

  Dad knew I would always protect her, so his expression was one of disbelief. Ignoring him, I grabbed a box of cereal and emptied it into a bowl. Dad poured the blood from the jug into a pot on the stove; the chunky parts splashed the red liquid everywhere. The shower shut off, and Dad looked up at the ceiling. “Nika, you wouldn’t have any clue why the blood suddenly turned to slush overnight, would you?”

  I felt the slice of panic rip through Nika, and I couldn’t contain my smile. Served her right. There was a lot of banging and clanging upstairs while she got ready for school. “Uh, maybe the temperature of the fridge is off? Sometimes things in the back get icy when that happens.” Without waiting for a response from Dad, she immediately turned on the hairdryer.

  Dad looked back at the fridge, murmuring, “Maybe.”

  I had to give my sister props for her lie. Dad looked somewhat convinced. Opening the fridge to grab the milk broke Dad’s train of thought. As I filled up my bowl, he asked me, “You doing okay? I know the weekend was hard for you.”

  I nodded as I grabbed a spoon for my cereal. “I’m fine, Dad. But thanks.”

  Dad gave me an encouraging pat on the back before returning his attention to his breakfast, and I had to give myself props too. He’d bought both lies his kids had just told him. Nika and I were getting better at fooling our parents. That probably wasn’t a good thing though. We were supposed to be a team.

  I let Nika drive us to school. The closer we got to the campus, the edgier I became. I bounced my knees, tapped my fingers. My restless energy buzzed through the car. I could tell I was irritating Nika, but she didn’t comment on it. Maybe she figured she owed me a little quiet time.

  When we got to school and parked, I immediately hopped out of the car and searched the grounds. I wanted to see both Arianna and Raquel, but for completely different reasons. I didn’t see either, though, so I waited for my sister to get out of the car, and we walked to the main building together.

  While my sister oozed compassion and sympathy, I kept an eye out for Raquel. I didn’t see her, but I heard about her. Even before I’d officially set foot on school grounds, I heard about her. She was on the tongues of every single student: Did you hear what Raquel did? She tried to kill herself! Bled all over the hallway near the gym storage closet. Janitor found her and took her to the hospital. Wow. I never pegged her as the suicidal type. Do you know why she did it?

  Why, why, why. That was all anyone was asking. Why she did it. What was wrong with her. Not a single person asked if she was okay. Not a single person asked if she was at school today. They just wanted to know what happened. They just wanted the gossip. My mood was particularly bitter when I ran into my girlfriend.

  Without meaning to, I vented my frustrations on Arianna. “Everyone is talking about Raquel, and there’s nothing I can do about it.” I glared over at a couple of freshmen who were huddled together debating if Raquel was abused at home. God, I hated this.

  Examining my face with narrowed eyes, Arianna adjusted the backpack on her shoulder. “Of course there’s nothing you can do about it, Julian. Raquel is the one who sliced herself up at a dance. I feel horrible that she felt compelled to do that, but it was clearly a cry for help. She wanted the attention, and she got it. You can’t blame people for wanting to talk about it now.”

  I grit my teeth as I stared at her. Nika had told me after my walk yesterday that she’d told Arianna the lie, that Raquel’s wounds were self-inflicted, so that Arianna wouldn’t be scared. I wasn’t sure if that was the best decision—I wanted an honest relationship with Arianna—but it did make sense. I didn’t want her living in constant fear of potential attacks either.

  Seeing my blank expression, Arianna shook her honey hair. “I’m not condoning the gossip, I’m just saying it’s…expected…after something like that.”

  I sighed and looked away. Yeah. Expected. And my fault. No…Hunter’s fault.

  Just because there was nothing I could say after Arianna’s comment, I glared at my sister. Her compassion died a little as a spark of anger flickered through her.

  Arianna’s next sentence returned my attention to her. “Everyone’s saying the janitor took her to the hospital though, and not you. In fact, no one seems to realize you were involved at all.” Her inquisitive eyes flashed between Nika and me. “Was that intentional? To keep you out of the gossip?”

  Nika nodded. “Yeah, Dad wanted Julian left out of it, so he had Hunter tell the hospital and Raquel’s parents that was what happened. We try and keep a low profile, you know?”

  Arianna nodded, then bunched her brows together. “Do I know everything that happened?”

  I opened my mouth to tell her n
o, to tell her the truth…maybe…but Trey walked up to our group before I could say anything, and I immediately snapped my mouth shut. I couldn’t explain whacked-out vampire hunters in front of Trey; he didn’t remember the truth about what we were.

  Silence fell over our group as Trey joined us. He looked a little worn around the edges, and smelled like he’d slept in a giant bong. Stocking cap pulled low over his ears, he fixated his gaze on my sister. “Craptastic weekend, huh?” he told me, his eyes never leaving Nika.

  I nodded. He had no idea.

  MY CRAPTASTIC WEEKEND turned into a craptastic week. Raquel didn’t return to school, and I was bombarded with more gossip about her. I hated every second of being at school; I felt so guilty about everything she was going through.

  On top of that stress, things between Arianna and I were different, strained, and I didn’t know how to fix it. I couldn’t shut off my concern for Raquel, and I knew that had a lot to do with how awkward my relationship with my girlfriend was. She was concerned, she was unsure, she was…hurting. She was quiet and withdrawn; it felt like an eternity since I’d heard her laugh.

  On Friday morning, when I was going through my daily routine of searching the grounds for Raquel, Arianna finally lost her patience with me. “She’s not here, Julian. You can stop looking for her…”

  She spun on her heel and immediately started walking away from me. Catching up to her, I grabbed her elbow and turned her around. “What’s wrong?” I asked, searching her face.

  She lifted her chin, but I saw her jaw trembling as she tried to keep it together. “I really thought you were over Raquel, but now…I’m just not so sure.”

  “Because I’m concerned about her?” I asked.

  Arianna shook her head. “No…because you haven’t touched me since she…did what she did. You haven’t touched me, and we hardly talk anymore. And when we do talk, it always seems to be about her. I feel like something has changed, but I’m not sure what. I just…I can’t stand that we’re not as close as we used to be.”

  She turned away from me, and I let her go. She was exaggerating. I had touched her. I’d touched her a lot. And I didn’t talk about Raquel all the time. Maybe more often than I should, but it definitely wasn’t all the time.

  Just when I was about to run after Arianna, whispers on the breeze caught my attention. Normally, I wouldn’t have paid attention to what the student body was talking about, but they were whispering Raquel’s name, saying she was here. She was back.

  Turning around and around, I tried to find the source of the conversations. I spotted Nika hurrying after Arianna, Trey watching after Nika, but no Raquel. Then I caught sight of a group of kids pointing and whispering, and a lone dark-haired girl, walking with her head down and her arms crossed over her chest like she was struggling to get through a hurricane. Raquel. I hesitated, wondering if I should go to Arianna, or go to Raquel. But Nika was with Arianna, and Raquel was alone. And it was my family’s fault she was alone.

  My mind made up, I jogged my way over to Raquel’s side. When I caught up to her, I realized I had no idea what to say to her. She didn’t know what had happened to her any more than the rest of the student body. And she didn’t know my part in it. All she knew was what Hunter had told her—that she’d done it to herself.

  Raquel looked up at me when I encroached on her personal space. Her eyes were wary, her expression guarded. I saw the remnants of dark circles under her eyes. She probably hadn’t been sleeping well. I wondered if reality was seeping into her dreams. Did she have nightmares about a strange man abducting her, drugging her, cutting her? The words gushed out of me before I could stop them. “I’m so sorry, Raquel. So very, very sorry.”

  A line formed between her dark brows. “What are you sorry about? You didn’t have anything to do with…” She bit her lip and forced herself to stop talking. The wind blew a dark strand of hair across her face. She tucked the strand away, and my eagle vision saw the fading pink lines hidden under her jacket. At least she was healing.

  I looked down. “I…I know…I’m just…” Floundering, I looked up at her face again. “For whatever reason you felt you had to…I just want you to know that I care, and I’m…sorry.”

  She locked gazes with me for a long time. Her dark eyes filled with tears, and it took everything in me not to hug her. Damn those hunters for hurting her. She didn’t deserve what they’d put her through. “Thank you,” she whispered. Looking around the school grounds, she quietly admitted, “I was scared to come back today. I was scared of what people would say. I feel like…” Brows creased, she returned her gaze to my face, “I feel like they’re going to want to know why, and I honestly don’t know what to tell them. I don’t know why.” Her expression hardened. “But I do know it will never happen again. I won’t ever let myself…” Her voice trailed off. “It won’t happen again.”

  I felt horrible as I looked at the lost, confused girl before me. “I’m glad to hear it, Raquel. I really am.” I put a hand on her shoulder, squeezing it in support. Everything that had happened to her was directly or indirectly my fault. The least I could do now was comfort her.

  From behind me, I heard a curt voice say, “What the hell?”

  Spinning around, I pushed Raquel behind me. Russell was in front of us, eyes blazing. If there was anyone I hated more than Hunter, it was this guy. He pointed a meaty finger at Raquel. “You ditch me at prom, and now there’s all these rumors about you being a cutter. You don’t take my calls, and now you’re slumming around with this lowlife. What the hell’s going on, Raquel?”

  It took everything in my power to not rip out his jugular. I started to take a step toward him, to defend her, but Raquel didn’t need me to. Stepping around me, she calmly replied, “You and I are done, Russell. For good this time. Don’t call me again. Don’t come over again. Don’t talk to me again.”

  A crowd was watching us. They gasped at this “shocking” turn of events. I wanted to tell them all to get a life, but I was too intently focused on Russell. He wasn’t going to like this new and improved Raquel. As she started walking away from him, he sputtered something unintelligible and lunged for her elbow. I, discretely, socked him in the stomach. To the crowd, it looked like I’d barely touched him, but I’d used a great deal of my extra strength and he doubled over, gasping for breath. While he slowly recovered, I placed my hand on Raquel’s back and led her to our first period class.

  Raquel glanced back at Russell bent over in pain. “Um, I’m not sure what you did, but thank you for doing it.” She looked over at me, gratitude in her eyes. “I may not know exactly why I did what I did on prom night, but I have this sinking feeling in my gut that Russell had a lot to do with it.” Shaking her head, she stood taller than I’d ever seen her. “I won’t ever let a man walk all over me again. I’m worth more than that.”

  Slinging my arm over her shoulder, I said, “Yeah, I know. I’ve been telling you that for a while.”

  She grinned at me. “Yeah, yeah you have. But I finally get it now. For some reason.”

  She laughed, and I marveled that one small subliminal phrase from Hunter had pushed her into the confidence that I’d been waiting to see from her for a long time. I guess I couldn’t stay angry at Hunter after all.

  I held Raquel tight to my side as we walked down the halls. I hated people staring, gossiping. Nobody here knew the truth. All they were spreading were lies. Protectiveness surged through me as I scanned the halls. I just wanted my friend to be left alone today. She deserved better than being bombarded by those lies.

  As we rounded the corner to our classroom, I stopped dead in my tracks. Nika was waiting at the door…with Arianna. Shock, surprise, and pain were clear on Arianna’s face as she stared at me. I was so stunned at seeing her there, waiting to talk to me, that I couldn’t even remove my arm from Raquel’s shoulder; I was still stupidly glued to her side. This looked bad, even I knew that.

  Arianna’s cheeks flamed bright red as she clamped her jaw sh
ut. Through trembling lips, she said, “Julian? I can’t believe… I trusted you… How could you…?” Not finishing that, she twisted to run off down the hall. I felt like a wrecking ball had just smashed through my stomach. Shit. I needed to fix this, fast.

  I separated from Raquel to run after Arianna, but the moment I moved, the wolves descended. A crowd formed around Raquel as she tried to enter the classroom. They were being polite, courteous, but they were overdoing it. They were all asking her if she was okay, but in the way you asked mentally unstable people if they felt all right. Their voices were giving me a headache, and I wanted to push them all away and tell them to give her space. I also wanted to mend things with my girlfriend. I had no idea what to do. And to make my choice even harder, the bell rang.

  Snapping my gaze to Nika, I silently begged her for help. Feeling my need, Nika tossed her hands into the air. “I don’t know how to fix that, Julian,” she whispered. “What were you thinking, holding Raquel like that? When you know Arianna has insecurities…”

  After watching Raquel make it through the bubble of people to get inside the classroom, I walked over to Nika. “Please try, Nick. It’s not how it looks, you know that.”

  Nika closed her eyes. Under her breath, she told me, “Yes, I know that, Julian. I know what you’re doing, and I know what you’re feeling. But if you give in to this obsessive need to protect Raquel, you’re going to lose Arianna.”

  “I know,” I muttered, angry at myself. I couldn’t just abandon Raquel right now though. My family was to blame for what happened to her. She needed me.

  JULIAN SURE KNEW how to make a mess of things. I wasn’t sure why I ever thought it would be a good idea to have my best friend date my brother, because now I was the official fixer of all their relationship problems. And I didn’t know how to fix this one. I didn’t know how to convince Arianna that she hadn’t seen what she’d thought she’d seen.