The Beast Within

by S. C. Stephens

I raised an eyebrow at her. “That’s not the story I’ve been told, Nika. You’re too young, your conversion won’t happen for another decade. A death for you now, would just be a death.”

  I started to walk away from her, and, panicking, she grabbed my arm. “Okay. No sex. No biting. But please, stay with me tonight. Don’t leave again. Don’t eat and run. Just…stay with me. Hold me.”

  Everything in me was conflicted. Holding her all night sounded so wonderful. So did sex. So did biting. But weren’t they all different facets of the same problem? They would all bring us closer, and I was trying to avoid that. Maybe seeing that I was conflicted, she added, “You’re fed now. I won’t be as tempting to you.”

  I smirked at her statement. “You’ll always be tempting to me, Nika.” Closing my eyes, I felt defeat swell in me. Maybe I could stay for a little while, at least until she fell asleep. “Okay. I’ll stay.”

  She hugged me tight, and I again felt my world shifting. Could I leave her? I wasn’t sure anymore. But I had to try. Holding onto the hope of going after my father was the only way I was surviving this hellish life I’d been forsaken with. If I abandoned that mission, there’d be nothing left of me, and I was certain I’d slip back into the melancholy that had made every second of my life excruciating. And besides, I had to leave, to keep Nika safe from Dad’s hunters. My father had to be stopped. My father had to be punished for what he’d done to me.

  But, maybe if I lived through this battle, I’d return. For her. Maybe. If she still wanted me after that.

  Nika sent me upstairs to wait for her while she cleaned up the evidence of my nightly gorging. I listened to her as she pulled some blood from the freezer and reheated it. Her parents hadn’t caught on to the fact that she was replenishing the fresh blood with frozen every night, but I was sure they’d notice when their supply unexpectedly ran out. Nika hummed while she worked, perfectly happy since I’d agreed to spend the night with her. Slipping off my boots, I again debated if I was doing the right thing. I didn’t think so.

  Nika was grinning when she rejoined me. It was her vibrant stunning smile that stole my breath, made me reconsider lying beside her. In a bed. Why did she have to be so beautiful? And warm, funny, sweet, wonderful. Why did I have to be in love with her?

  Closing the door, she hurried to my side. I was sitting on top of the covers, my knees in the air, my arms wrapped around my knees. Not exactly a cuddling posture. Nika didn’t care. She sat beside me, and curled both of her arms around one of mine. Then she laid her head on my shoulder. A stab of loneliness pierced my heart, and I wanted to sob for the humanity I’d lost. Instead, I kissed the top of her head, then scooted down the bed, so we were lying on our sides, facing one another. Her fingers traveled down to my hands, and she brought them to her lips, kissing each knuckle.

  I felt lost as I stared into her eyes. I also felt found. Wrapping my arms over and under her, I pulled her into the safety of my body. She held her arms tight to her chest and let me cocoon her. I laid my cheek on her hair and let every troubling, wondrous emotion tumble through me. I pushed nothing away, and it hurt in the best possible way.

  “I love you, Hunter,” she whispered.

  A fresh shock of pain exploded in my chest. I loved her so much. I wished it was enough. “I love you, too, Nika.”

  She sighed in contentment, and nuzzled into my chest even more. The feeling was overwhelming. I almost couldn’t take it, but I couldn’t leave either. Cautious of her fragility, I clutched her closer to me.

  WHEN NIKA’S BREATHING was low and shallow, I gently unwrapped my arms from her body; I instantly filled with loss. Knowing I needed to be stronger, I hardened my heart. I couldn’t let her in, not when I was getting out.

  Without letting myself dwell over the perfection of her sleeping form, I slipped out the window. The night air was filled with familiar noises that I surprisingly found comforting—crickets, owls, a wolf in the distance. Nighttime had always been an uneasy time for me when I’d been human. A time to be on full alert, as the vampires were free to roam the Earth after sunset. I’d much preferred the middle of the day, when the light kept the monsters at bay, or so I’d thought. But now that I was the monster, forced into darkness, I was beginning to find pockets of beauty around me. The way the moonlight filtered between the trees, the way the black clouds slid across the stars, the way the world seemed simpler, outlined in black, white, and varying shades of gray.

  As I stepped to the edge of the rooftop, I paused and inhaled a deep breath. There was something there on the breeze, a faint odor that returned me to my past. A past full of hunters, and hunting. Fangs crashing down, I tensed and squatted low. Someone who should not be here was nearby.

  Stealthily moving to the peak of the Bavarian-style roof, I scanned the area, searching for anything out of the ordinary, anything moving. I picked out several small creatures darting among the brush; I ignored them, searching for larger prey. The scent gave me a direction to focus on, my hearing gave me a count—one lone heartbeat was surging in the night, far more rapidly than the sleepy community around me.

  Remaining as silent as possible, I leapt to the roof of the nearest neighbor’s home. The predator was that way. My enhanced abilities made it easy to skim the rooftops; I made no more noise than a frog hopping across lily pads as I jumped my way across the neighborhood.

  When I reached where the scent and heartbeat was strongest, about three houses away from the Adams’ place, I dropped to the ground. It was a particular brand of cologne that had caught my awareness. It belonged to a hunter named Markus. I’d chided him on several occasions for wearing any sort of perfume. It was stupid to make your scent even more apparent when you were hunting creatures with capabilities that far outweighed any bloodhound on the planet. Why not spray-paint a target on your chest? Markus had never listened to me though. After tonight, he’d finally understand what I’d been trying to tell him.

  The heartbeat was pounding away at the corner of a darkly painted rambler. There were high hedges forming a fence that enclosed the backyard, and I could see the outline of a person hiding in their shadows, walking toward me. Markus’s plan had probably been to hide in the darkness as he made his way toward the vampire nest. Since he was alone, I doubted he was here to make an attack. Most likely, he was only scouting. Once he’d confirmed how many vampires were living here, and that only vampires were living here, he’d assault the home during daylight hours.

  That was Markus’s favorite technique—burn the vampires to the ground while they were peacefully sleeping. His tactic was very effective against purebloods. It terrified me some now, since I couldn’t protect my nest during the day. It made me feel vulnerable. But we had protection that most vampires didn’t have. We had mixed-breed day-walkers. Interesting, how I was suddenly referring to them as “us,” like we were a unit.

  Quiet as a mouse, I blurred to the end of the hedge, where Markus would soon be appearing. While his heart was fast due to his scrupulous nighttime activity, it wasn’t racing in nervousness. He had no idea I was so close to him. His scent was particularly pungent this near, and for a moment, I wondered if his blood would have a perfumed aftertaste. I immediately abolished the thought. If I didn’t have it in me to drink from Nika, then I definitely wasn’t drinking from a fellow hunter. Well, a soon-to-be ex-fellow hunter.

  I closed my eyes to mask the glow. I didn’t want to alert him to my presence prematurely. The loss of vision didn’t hamper my senses any; I could hear and smell him as clearly as I could see him. When he tiptoed around the corner, I phased in front of him, grabbing his hands and splaying them out straight from his sides while I backed him into the hedge. Only then did I open my eyes.

  Markus’s face paled as I held him trapped in place by my vision and my body. He was wearing earphones, but his trance-inhibiting music wasn’t blaring yet. Crooking a fanged smile, I told him, “Don’t make a sound.”

  His mouth fell open, but no words escaped him. An enticing feeling
of power coursed through my veins. I could do anything I wanted to him; my body was holding him in place like steel. I could say anything I wanted, and he would do it without hesitation. And thanks to the hypnotic glow of my eyes, he wasn’t even nervous about it. That sort of influence was intoxicating, to say the least.

  “It’s been a long time since we’ve crossed paths, Markus.” Leaning in, I exaggerated sniffing him. “What did I tell you about that freaking cologne? I bet you’re wishing you’d listened to me.” He flinched, but still remained silent, as I’d ordered. “You’re here for me?” I asked, tilting my head as I examined his features. My eyes caught flaws—nicks and scars—that my human eyes would have missed.

  Markus nodded, his dark eyes and dark hair emphasizing his paleness. He started to speak, but no speech came out. I rolled my eyes; sometimes the compulsion was as much of an annoyance as it was a benefit. “You can speak, just don’t yell out.”

  “I’m here for you, the vampire who turned you, the half-human girl you love, and whatever other bloodsuckers I can take down.” His voice was quiet and calm. The voice of a seasoned killer.

  I grit my teeth. “My father sent you?”

  He nodded again. “Connor wants Salt Lake cleaned, starting with you.”

  Closing my eyes, I looked away. Damn him. He had me turned, then ordered our friends to put me out of my misery. Along with my creator and my girlfriend. Hell if I was going to let any of them harm a hair on Nika’s head. “Today’s your lucky day, Markus—”

  Markus’s knee connected with my groin, interrupting my speech. I might be an undead creature with super-healing abilities, but some things still really hurt. Cursing, I relaxed my grip on his hands as I reflexively curled into a ball. My cockiness had caused me to make a stupid, rookie mistake. And Markus might smell, but he wasn’t a newbie. Once his hands were free, he simultaneously switched on his music and reached for his stake. No longer having the advantage of telling him what to do, I only had my speed to rely on.

  Markus was good, though; he didn’t strike where I was, but struck where he anticipated me to go, and he was spot on. When I dodged, he dodged with me, catching me right above the collar bone. Seeing his miscalculation, he immediately removed the wooden stake. I felt the blood pouring out of the gaping wound before it healed, and I growled at him, hissing in pain. He immediately backhanded me, and I gasped as my cheek was ripped apart by several tiny metal triangles jutting from his knuckles. It stung worse than him kneeing me. The pain went right through my face, ricocheting around my skull. Nothing hurt as much as silver.

  Markus took my moment of agony to swipe my legs out from under me, crashing me to the ground. Once I was prone, Markus wasted no time leaping on top of me to make his finishing move; with both hands, he held the stake perfectly poised above my heart for the death blow. I was done. My father was going to win. He would kill me, then Halina. And then Nika. Game over.

  No.

  Remembering I wasn’t a weak human being anymore, but an amped-up, bad-ass vampire, I leaned up and shoved Markus’s shoulders away from me right as his hands started their downward trajectory. He flew into the air; the stake never even touched me. Zipping to where he was going to land, I grabbed him from the air and smashed him to the ground. Growling in frustration, I thought of several vile things all at once—breaking his back, snapping his neck, draining him dry. What I ended up doing was ripping out his earphones.

  “Do. Not. Get. Up,” I commanded as I yanked the stake out of his hand.

  Eyes defiant, his body still as stone, Markus spat, “You gonna kill me, Hunter? Feed on me? After I saved your ass in Houston? You remember that night? How I staked that vamp in the back, right before he was about to bite you.”

  Calming myself, I retracted my fangs. “Why shouldn’t I kill you? You were going to kill me.” Standing up, I hissed, “And I haven’t done anything! Haven’t killed anyone! Doesn’t that mean anything to him? To you?”

  Markus watched me, since it was all he could do. “You don’t see it, Hunter, but we’re trying to do you a favor. We’re trying to right a wrong. You should have died that day. You did die that day. This,” he lifted a finger to point at me, “isn’t natural. It isn’t right. And the real Hunter wouldn’t have wanted to live this way.”

  “I don’t want to live this way!” I snarled. “I want death!” I blinked after I said it. Was death what I still wanted?

  Markus narrowed his eyes. “You want death? Then let me give it to you. Why are you fighting this? Why are you fighting me?”

  I squatted beside him. “Because I care. The beasts who changed me…I have feelings for them, and I can’t—I won’t—let you, or anyone else harm them. I won’t die until they’re safe, until they’re off the radar.” I frowned. “Which means I have to stop my father. Maybe even kill him. And you know what, I don’t feel bad about doing it, because he made me this. What I am is his fault. And he will face justice for that. I deserve vengeance,” I growled.

  Markus’s face softened. “Hunter…killing him won’t change what you are. Let me fix you. Let me set things straight. I can ease your pain.”

  Sitting on the ground beside him, I considered what he was offering. I stared at the stake in my fingers while I debated what to do. Should I completely wipe Markus like I’d wiped the others, or should I make arrangements now? I could leave him with specific instructions to finish me off once my job was done. He could be the answer to all my problems, if death was what I still wanted.

  And it was.

  Looking up at him, I said, “Not yet. I will let you kill me, but I need to deal with my father first. I need to make sure Nika and the others aren’t in danger from him.” Tilting my head, I asked, “Where is he, by the way?”

  Markus looked like he didn’t want to answer, but of course, he did. He had no choice. “Flagstaff…Arizona.” He finished his proclamation by giving me my father’s exact address in Arizona. Perfect.

  I patted his leg, “Thank you, Markus. Now, I want you to listen very closely to what I’m about to tell you…”

  After I was finished reprogramming Markus, I spent the remainder of the night scouting the city for more hunters. When I didn’t find any, I returned to the ranch. I had mixed emotions about several things that had happened tonight. I’d almost bitten Nika. I’d shared an intimate moment with her that wasn’t going to help either one of us. And I’d left a ticking time bomb out there. When I finished my mission with my father, Markus would finish me. There would be no happily ever after with Nika, not that one had been going to happen anyway. Not with me like this. But it was for the best.

  Why did I feel so sad about it then? I couldn’t deal with this right now. I just wanted to take a shower, and go to bed.

  When I walked through the front door of the opulent home I was staying in, Halina zipped into the entryway like a worried mother hen. I barely had time to close the front door before she rushed up to me and started examining my body. I was confused as to why she was in such a tizzy, and then I remembered—the front of my shirt was covered in blood from where Markus had staked me. Damn it. I should have changed clothes before I came back.

  While Halina ran her hands over my chest, looking for a wound that was no longer there, Imogen and Gabriel trailed into the room; the others in the home were asleep this late at night. “You’re hurt?” Halina snapped. “What happened? And why do you stink like cheap cologne?” Her nose wrinkled, and I mentally cursed. I should have showered too.

  “It’s nothing, please stop that.”

  Before I could successfully push her away, she found the telltale hole in my shirt and stuck her finger through it. I sighed as her eyes snapped to mine. “Nothing? You were staked!” Her fangs crashed down and a low growl rumbled from her chest. Imogen looked surprised and concerned over the news. Gabriel remained impassive.

  Halina’s gaze flashed to the front door; the destructive gleam in her eyes reminded me of a blossoming tornado, building strength, about to wreak havo
c on an unsuspecting town. I grabbed her shoulders before she could streak away. “I’m fine. I ran into a hunter, but I dealt with him.”

  Imogen gasped and took a step toward us. “A hunter? In the city? Are the children okay?”

  By children, I knew she meant Teren and Emma just as much as she meant Nika and Julian. I nodded. “I was the only one he encountered. They’re all safe.”

  Halina reluctantly pulled her eyes from the front door. “Did you finish him?”

  I knew what she really meant was did I kill him, and I kept my expression as neutral as possible. I had to be careful how I answered her. If I said I killed him, she’d know I was lying; I wasn’t capable of purposely doing that and she knew it. But if I told her I let him go, she’d be pissed. “He’s…no longer a problem.”

  Both of her eyebrows climbed up her forehead. “You let him go, didn’t you?” Her finger pressed into my chest. “Rule number one, love, we don’t let hunters who try to kill us live.”

  I shook my head. “He’s not a concern. I made sure he wouldn’t harm any of the others.”

  Halina’s eyes narrowed. “Any of the others? And what about you? Will he still harm you?”

  Damn it, she’d caught that slight slip. “You know I don’t want this life.”

  Her face shifted into a mixture of sadness and anger. I wasn’t sure which one was going to win out. Her chin quivering, she slowly intoned, “Why did you even fight back then? Why not just let him stake you, since you hate yourself so much?”

  I shrugged. “I don’t know. A moment of weakness, I guess.” That, and I still had a job to do, not that I could mention that to her. I’d already said too much.

  She gaped at me, momentarily stunned speechless. “You consider self-preservation a weakness now, do you?” I swallowed, but didn’t answer. She shook her head in disbelief. “And just when I thought you were getting better, just when I thought you were actually starting to accept this life.”

  “You know I’ll never accept this,” I whispered.