Enigma

by Leslie Drennan

  The market was interesting because it was not your run-of-the mill neighborhood grocery store. It was called World Market, and it had foods from just about every country on the map.

  After making my way to the bakery and back to the fresh fish area, I pulled the list of spices from the pocket of Avan’s jacket to see what all I needed. Lucky for me, Lorenzo was not only great at cooking, but he was also the master of organization. Since all the spices were from different places of origin, he had listed them under the area in the market in which they could be found, as well as alphabetized them so it was easy for me to find what I was looking for. I went from section to section following the list like a road map of the store, collecting all the little bottles that would soon fill the empty spaces of the ones that sat in their place before them.

  After collecting the last little bottle from a shelf in the Asian food section, my hand basket was heavy and nearly overflowing. I had never paid attention to how many spices we kept in our kitchen. I tried to come up with an estimated number of the total bottle of spices by guesstimating how many remained in the cabinet that did not need replacements.

  Once I had the estimate, I added how many I had marked off on the list as I put them into the basket. I was so distracted with counting I had chosen the longest line to stand in. Not being in any hurry, I opted not to look for a shorter one, even though the lady in front of me had more items in her cart than trees had leaves.

  The lady was taking forever to unload her items onto the conveyer belt one at a time as it transported them across the counter to the cashier, who steadily grabbed them and dragged them across the scanner. After holding the heavy hand basket full of spices, my wrist was beginning to ache. I resorted to putting the basket on the floor and scooting with my foot whenever I got to move up a couple of inches. Unlike the magazines that lined the registers at our neighborhood supermarket, the ones at World Market were much more attention grabbing. I also enjoyed looking at the Chinese calendars and astrological forecasts. I was so distracted with all of the organized clutter surrounding the register that I hadn’t even noticed I was holding up the line until the cashier shouted at me to put my basket on the conveyer belt, as I was holding up the line.

  The drive from World Market to the Oceanview Mall parking lot only took about five minutes. Seeing as how my birthday was coming up in a few weeks, I decided to spend a little alone time today buying some I love me gifts. I never used all of my money from my trust that I was able to access each month, ending up with a surplus. Since I was incapable of spending money on what I referred to as “Lena level,” even after an incredible shopping spree, I still had more money left over than I knew what to do with.

  I was by no means a miser, but I just had no need to spend money on a regular basis for no reason either. I usually spent my money on things I needed rather than blew it on things I wanted. For some reason, I did things similar to how we did when I was younger, still living at home with my parents. We went all out on birthdays and Christmas, but even though we could afford the things we wanted without being strapped for money, we were still conservative, which made me appreciate the gifts I got on those occasions a lot more than I would have if I had been allowed to get expensive presents for no reason all of the time.

  I knew I was a little premature with my personal birthday shopping, as it would not roll around for another two weeks, but I knew from past experience everything I might want would be sold out before I could even get my hands on it if I put it off. The problem with my birthday is that I was born on Valentine’s Day.

  My favorite stores were located throughout the mall on both the first and second floors, so that meant I had quite a lengthy shopping experience ahead of me. Not that I had planned to buy something in each store I visited, but I had a very time-consuming habit of going through my favorite stores to see what each one had to offer, making a mental note of the things I wanted at each place. When I finished going through all the stores, I decided what items my life would not be complete without and went back to retrieve them in the stores where they were found. This was my way of being responsible and not over spending, even though I could afford to if that is what I desired.

  I made my way down past the bookstore, an arcade, a kiosk selling cell phones, and a lingerie store before I saw a jewelry store that reminded me of my most special childhood memory that I had made with my dad. When I was five, my dad brought me to the mall one Saturday, holding my hand as he led me to a jewelry store. He said he had gone there a few weeks before with a special request for the jeweler to design something especially for me.

  He told me I would be the only one in the whole wide world who ever had anything like it. As we walked inside, I saw all the beautiful precious stones and settings. We passed earrings, engagement rings, wedding sets, diamond bracelets, and sparkling necklaces. Walking through the store had felt incredible as I looked around, stunned at how the light made all of the beautiful jewels sparkle and shine.

  As we made our way to the counter at the back of the store where a short, bald headed man with round, gold rimmed glasses stood, he smiled at us, telling my dad his treasure was finished. My dad nodded and returned a smile, and the little man disappeared through a curtain into the back where he worked on jewelry of all kinds.

  Coming back through the curtains, the man carried a small, black, velvet box in his hands. He placed it on the counter in front of my dad and slid it toward him. My dad picked up the little velvet box and knelt down in front of me as he opened it carefully. I looked inside and saw a golden charm bracelet that had shiny golden angels all the way around it, except for one that was a heart with an engraving that read Daddy’s Special Angel.

  He lifted the beautiful golden bracelet out of the box, and clasping it around my wrist, he told me that it would always remind me angels would protect me. Every year he would take me to the jewelry store and get more links put in and another unique little angel designed just for me, dangling with the others around my wrist, reminding me that I was my daddy’s special angel and they would always watch over me.

  I had lost the bracelet shortly before my parents’ death, so the memory made me rather emotional as I felt my eyes fill up with tears. The peculiar thing about losing it was that I never took it off unless it was to take a shower or go swimming. I knew I had it on when I had gone to bed that night, but the next morning it was just gone. My mom had helped me look through my bed to make sure the links had not broken, causing it to come off during the night, but it was nowhere.

  I was so sad for weeks after it was lost it but my dad just told me that things have a way of popping back up when you least expected them to. I knew he was trying to make me feel better, but I still missed it. I kept looking all over the house, thinking maybe I just thought I had been wearing it when I fell asleep. I still had no luck, and once again, Dad told me when the time was right the bracelet would find me.

  These days I tried not to think about the bracelet very often, partly because I still got mad at myself for losing it and partly because thinking about it was like a dam breaking as I tried to hold back the tears that always started falling with the thought. I wiped my cheeks with the sleeve of my shirt as I walked over and sat on a bench in the middle of the path that the stores lined on each side.

  I tried to tell myself I had to get to a point where I could reflect on memories without becoming emotional.

  After a few minutes, my tears subsided and I got off the bench to keep pursuing the mission I was here for in the first place. I had not made much progress when I decided to stop for a drink. Every time I cried, my mouth got a little dry, making it uncomfortable and sticky. I ordered a soft drink and poked a piece of gum in my mouth before turning to continue on my way to my favorite stores. Many of my favorite boutiques just seemed less appealing today once I got to them.

  More than once, I simply glanced into the doorway, looked around, then headed back out and kept walking without even taking a mental note of anything they
had to offer. I made my way to the end of the walkway on the first floor and took the escalator up to the second. I walked to the window of the shop that had almost caused me to drop my soft drink in the floor.

  I peered through the glass window that was so clean a person not paying attention might just run right into it. The window of the store only enhanced the beauty as it was framed with the same mahogany wood as the inside of the store that shined as if it had just had a new coat of lacquer painted over it. My jaw hung open as I took in the beauty of the angels I looked upon.

  Without a second thought I entered the boutique and found myself surrounded by hundreds of angels. The moment I entered the door there was a peaceful feeling of serenity that filled every part of me. The world felt like it was not such a bad place and that everything was much better than it had been just a few moments ago in the walkway. It was almost as though I was incapable of feeling a single drop of any other emotion except true happiness. This was a place that felt as if it had been anointed by God himself.

  Standing inside, the hustle and bustle of the shoppers just outside the door muted. The air in the store smelled clean and fresh and reminded me of how my mom had smelled, and it left me with a smile. I began to look at each angel, noticing that each one was different just as the angels on my bracelet had been.

  Each angel I looked at was more beautiful than the next, demanding my full attention. They were all hand carved; I could tell by the intricacies and the workmanship. Being in this place was indescribable. It was as though I felt at home. I felt like I could stay here forever right where I was standing and never feel hunger, fatigue, or pain again as I drifted into a state of complete tranquility.

  “They’re beautiful, aren’t they?” a woman’s voice asked from behind me.

  Turning to see who spoke, she greeted me with a smile created from nothing other than love. I couldn’t tell how old the woman was, but she didn’t appear to be over thirty-five. She was tall, lean, and wearing a tan wrap dress and sandals. She had exquisite pale green eyes and a head full of dark red ringlets that spiraled down to her waist. She wore no makeup and had no need for it.

  She was by far the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. As she looked at me, it was almost as if there was a look of recognition in her eyes; as she smiled so lovingly, it made me wish I could wrap my arms around her and give her a hug because I knew she had enough love to spare for anyone who needed it.

  “Beautiful doesn’t begin to describe them,” I answered back softly, still taking in all the beauty around me.

  “I’m surprised it took you so long to find us.”

  “I don’t come to the mall very often. It was just by chance I am here today.” Still looking at all of the different angels, I couldn’t keep my eyes on hers.

  “You’ve been keeping yourself busy then?”

  Her questions seemed like she knew me, but I knew I had never met her before.

  “I’ve just had school stuff going on mostly,” I answered hesitantly.

  “You’ve also recently made some decisions you regret, haven’t you?”

  She asked the question as if to tell me she already knew the answer without me having to say a word. The way she spoke reflected an abundance of understanding, forgiveness, and tenderness that made the truth flow from my mouth without thinking before I spoke.

  “I hate to have to admit it, and I’m almost afraid to know how you found out about it, but yes, I made some decisions not too long ago, and if there was a way to go back in time and change, I would without hesitation.”

  Admitting it to someone other than Avan was not an easy thing to do, but it certainly had not killed me.

  “Remember that our decisions, even when they are not right, should never be filled with regret. Learn from them instead and create a stronger balance within yourself.”

  What she said was so clear it almost felt as if she threw a glass of water in my face.

  “Have we met before?” The question exited my mouth before I could stop it.

  “Matalyn, my name is Natasha. I have known you since you were born, just as many others have.”

  The way she responded made me feel like there was something more that I needed to hear.

  “What others?” I was starting to wonder how many people really knew me that I had no idea existed.

  “Friends of your mother’s, of course, and eventually friend’s of your father’s, once he’d proved himself over time.”

  So she had known my parents. I was starting to find it all a bit crazy that my parents never mentioned any of these people to me throughout my entire life with them. Did they think I would never find out that they actually had friends?

  “Matalyn, I have something to give you,” Natasha said with a smile that went much deeper than what could be seen on the surface.

  Natasha walked over to a shelf in the corner, bent down and picked up one of the larger angels from the glass shelf on the bottom part of the wall. When she brought it back, I could tell it didn’t resemble the other angels. The first thing I noticed, besides that fact that it was beautiful, was that it was missing its wings.

  “Your mother wants you to have this,” Natasha said as she looked at me through misty eyes.

  I refrained from pointing out that she should have said wanted as opposed to want, seeing how my mother was dead. I found myself confused regarding how to feel about receiving a gift my mother had picked out for me before she died from a store I had never realized was in this mall until today.

  Seeing how moved Natasha was, I accepted it from her anyway, gently holding it in my hands as I looked at the angel that seemed to be a misfit, noticing something inscribed with a laser on the front. As I lifted the angel up, I read the inscription: Mommy’s Special Angel. It must have been something she had picked out to go along with the bracelet my dad had given me. Then again, maybe she had chosen it when we never found the lost bracelet and never had the chance to give it to me before she died. Even though I wanted to cry at the thought, it was impossible while I was here. The tears wouldn’t form, and I knew it.

  “Where are her wings?” I asked, accidently letting my thought crawl out of my mouth.

  “She hasn’t gotten them yet.” Natasha beamed a smile at me.

  “When does she get them?” I asked her. I wanted to know more of the story behind the gift my mother had left for me. It almost seemed like a clue to a puzzle.

  “When she has the strength to overcome evil, she will be rewarded with her wings.”

  “I thought all angels had wings.”

  “This is a special angel, Matalyn, one like no other, and there will never be one like her again,” Natasha answered in a precise manner that told me I better not let anything happen to this gift because there were no replacements.

  She walked behind the counter after taking the angel from my hands, gently wrapping her in bubble wrap. Thanking her, I walked out of the store to notice the time on a clock on one of the kiosks in the middle of the walkway read 5:55 p.m. I had gotten to the mall at around 1:30 p.m. and barely spent much time at all here until I went into the store with the angels. It was impossible that I could have spent over four hours at the mall. Where had the time gone? What happened while I was in that store? Turning around to take one last look, I nearly passed out in the floor.

  The store I had just come out of directly behind me had disappeared! Still holding the sack in my hands that had my wingless angel in it that my mom had picked out for me, I stared at a blank wall. I set the bag down in the floor and walked over to where I had just come out of the door and felt of the wall. It was solid, with no sign of anything being there. I stood in disbelief as I heard the announcement come over the intercom, “Good evening, shoppers, it is now five fifty-five p.m., and Oceanview mall will be closing in five minutes. Please make your way to the nearest register.”

  I got on the escalator and headed down to the first floor. In a daze, I made my way back to the door I’d come into when I arrived much
earlier. Clerks in the department store wished me a good evening, but my voice would not work to answer them, so I continued to walk in silence.

  I made my way out the door and saw my car sitting there alone in the parking lot, indicating I was one of the last ones to leave the mall. I pressed the button on my keychain to unlock the doors and went directly to the passenger side, softly placing my special angel into the floorboard, making sure she was secure to prevent her from falling or getting knocked around as I drove home.

  On my way, I decided not to mention the peculiar events of the day to Lorenzo over dinner. Come to think of it, it may not be a great idea to share those details with anyone for fear of someone would have me committed to a mental health facility for hallucinations or a rehab, thinking I needed help for substance abuse. I really did not want Avan catching any wind of this. I could not ruin everything with him this early in the game. He would think I had lost my mind. I was starting to question my sanity without anyone else having to point out that stores in the mall are not able to disappear without a trace, especially not a store with an entire inventory of crystal angels that numbered into the hundreds. I would just tell them I found the angel at a store that sold household decorations. I could say I saw it sitting there on a shelf and it looked pretty so I bought it on impulse.

  I would tell them it was on sale for half off since someone had an inscription put on and then returned it. I didn’t have a good excuse for the missing wings, but if it was in my room, hopefully not too many people would notice it and ask questions. Thinking it through a little more, I decided to leave my angel in the car for now and come back to bring her in after Lorenzo had left for the night in order to avoid having to explain my new symptoms of psychosis.

  Hauling the two bags of spices into the kitchen, smells greeted me that immediately made me hungry. Until now, it had not crossed my mind that all I had eaten since breakfast was a piece of Indian fry bread at the World Market this afternoon. Lorenzo had already started putting the food he had expertly put together on plates and suggested we go to the dining room. We slid into our chairs as I thought about how much I was going to miss having dinner with him next week, since Lena would be home and she refused to dine with the house help.