The Ruin of Elizabeth Bennet: A Pride and Prejudice Variation

by Darcie Rochester

  "I wish there was time to curl these bits of hair here. They would frame your face nicely," said Lydia as she surveyed her handiwork.

  Lizzy stood. "I really must go."

  "You need a shawl."

  "I do not want to borrow any more of your things. You may want them."

  "As you see I will not be without. And the dress is out of fashion anyway, I will not want to wear it again."

  Lydia chose a dark blue wrap from her collection and offered it to Lizzy.

  "It is unnecessary," Lizzy said, refusing to take it.

  With a significant glance at Lizzy's injured arm Lydia said, "The clergyman will think your Mr. Darcy beats you if you go about flaunting your bruises like that."

  Lizzy took the shawl. "Thank you." She felt her eyes prickle and her lips tremble. It occurred to her this was the last time they would be able to speak to each other in a long while. Perhaps forever. She might see Lydia in some public place, in the theater perhaps with her new protector, but she would not be able to even nod in acknowledgment.

  "You might write on occasion. Jane does," Lydia said almost pleadingly.

  "I will."

  "I will, of course, never have time to reply," Lydia continued grandly, "But dull married women like you need something to fill their days."

  "Lydia—" was all Lizzy could get out before the dam broke. She wiped at her eyes with frustration, she had had such trouble controlling her emotions of late.

  "No. No crying," chided Lydia, "If you start I will follow and my face will be ruddy and puffy and too hideous to be seen out. Do not worry for me. I'm fine. I intend to go on as I had. I've had such a jolly time, there is no reason having one less man in my life should keep me from enjoying myself. I'm sure I can find another scoundrel just like him."

  Still Lizzy hesitated.

  "Go. You do not want your Mr. Darcy to have time to come to his senses. You owe it to Mama to see it through."

  Lizzy managed a weak chuckle. "Take care," she said as she brushed a kiss upon her youngest sister's cheek.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  "Ah, the bride, lovely as ever," Colonel Fitzwilliam said as Darcy handed Lizzy out of the carriage in front of the church.

  The Colonel was accompanied by Mr. Bingley and Miss Darcy. Both men looked as tired as Darcy and Lizzy suspected they had aided in the search for her.

  Colonel Fitzwilliam's next words confirmed her suspicions. "I know we were out all night but you might have stopped at home to visit your valet, Darcy. You look like a vagrant. Bingley and I had sense enough to change attire—it is a wedding after all."

  Lizzy generally liked the Colonel but would have happily throttled him for teasing Darcy on this subject for she knew he was already uncomfortable enough about his apparel. He was still wearing his dinner things from the previous evening and was rather worse for wear, having stormed about dingy alleyways and boarding houses in search of her.

  In typical Darcy fashion he had been so focused on his task he had been insensible to any frivolous need. Now her safety was secured, he wished he had not been so hasty in the arrangement of the wedding for he feared it would not be the sort of wedding she desired despite her many protestations to the contrary.

  The glare Darcy cast upon his cousin would have quelled the amusement in a less hearty man, instead Colonel Fitzwilliam only appeared further emboldened and was primed to make another comment, fortunately Bingley intervened.

  "I am glad we find you in good health, Miss Bennet. We were all most concerned for your safety," said Bingley.

  "I wish my communication would have reached Mr. Darcy sooner so you would not have wasted your evening when I was quite safe."

  "The evening was not at all wasted. I thought it a most exciting use of our time." This statement earned the Colonel another of his cousin's glares. Darcy clearly did not appreciate her abduction being referred to as "exciting"

  Georgiana, who shared Bingley's dislike of conflict, thrust the bouquet she was holding at Lizzy. "I did not know what sort of flowers you preferred but I wanted you to have something."

  "They are lovely, thank you," said Lizzy who had never had a favorite among hothouse flowers and under normal circumstances would have privately thought the arrangement too bright and false looking. At that moment she thought them the most beautiful blooms she had ever beheld.

  "You will be my bridesmaid of course?"

  "Oh, yes!" replied Georgiana with bashful enthusiasm.

  "And you, Darcy? Which of us will be your best man?" asked Colonel Fitzwilliam.

  Darcy glanced between the two men, his gaze lingering on Bingley.

  "I see how it is," said the Colonel. "I will not pretend I am not wounded. No matter. I shall have the more prestigious honor of giving the bride away. It is proper as you were in my mother's care—that makes us practically family. I hope to do a better job than my father did. He could not manage to give you away even with Aunt Catherine's help."

  Darcy sent his cousin another scolding look to no effect. "Let's get on with it, then," he said gruffly. The lack of sleep was affecting him heavily. He cast an apologetic glance Lizzy's way and relief flooded his features when she smiled. She knew his churlish ways and was willing to marry him anyway. With a tilt of his head he he motioned for Bingley to follow.

  The Colonel offered Lizzy his arm. "I envy you both. Tessa and I must attend another dozen dastardly events in our honor before we can be wed."

  Though she knew this particular jab to be unintentional, Lizzy wished the Colonel would be silent. Darcy had wanted to preserve their propriety and would have happily gone through two dozen dastardly events to do so.

  The good reverend was waiting when they entered. He was a severe sort and his expression made it known he did not approve of this slapdash affair. However Darcy's determination and a special license had left him with little choice but to perform the service. The wedding began without pomp. The attendants performed their respective duties well and the service went on swimmingly until it was nearing a close and the ring was called for.

  Darcy internally cursed himself. The ring he had bought for her was still locked in the safe in his library. He looked down at his own hands aghast, remembering suddenly had taken off his watch and the seal ring he usually wore, his only bit of preparation before racing out the door to begin his search.

  Ever practically minded, Darcy was in no mood to let the absence of a symbolic gesture stand in his way. "Cannot we simply—." One look from the clergyman silenced him. "Yes, right," he said turning to his sister pleadingly, "Georgiana?"

  She shook her head. She subscribed to the idea that a young lady ought not wear jewelry beyond a simple cross before evening.

  "Do you have a ring I might borrow, Bingley?" asked Darcy, sounding more than a little desperate.

  Bingley gave his hands the same disbelieving glance Darcy had given his own before silently signaling in the negative.

  "I have a ring. Give me a moment," said the Colonel as he tried to pry the ring from his finger. Finding himself unsuccessful he finally abandoned decorum and used spittle as lubricant to wrench the thing off.

  "And you chose him to be your best man," he mumbled as he handed the ring to Darcy.

  Darcy thanked his cousin and discreetly rubbed the ring on his coat to dry it.

  "I am so sorry," he whispered to Lizzy.

  Lizzy chuckled at her almost-husband's apology.

  "I do have a ring for you. I bought it last week."

  Lizzy nodded, trying to sooth his discomfit.

  "I had it engraved," Darcy added.

  "I believe you."

  "You must really love me."

  "I must."

  The clergyman cleared his throat.

  Not taking his eyes from Elizabeth, Darcy said, "Forgive me, carry on."

  The reverend's glower told Darcy exactly how much he enjoyed being told how to go about his business but he continued none the less. The proper words were spoken. The too big si
gnet ring bearing the crest of the Fitzwilliams was placed on her left hand and with no further interruption. Elizabeth Bennet at long last became Mrs. Darcy.

  "Where is your sister?" Lizzy asked, leaning her head back against Darcy's bare shoulder so she might see his face. His breathing, like her own, was still ragged.

  "Not precisely what one wants to hear directly after the consummation of one's marriage," observed Darcy dryly.

  "I forgot. I ought to have gone into raptures at your performance—though I think I already did enough of that when it was in progress. I asked because I am hoping Georgiana was not around to have heard."

  After the wedding they had traveled directly to Darcy House in their own carriage, leaving their guests to find other means of transport. Their activities since arriving had caused Lizzy to forget completely that Darcy House was also Miss Darcy's home and it would be most natural for her to return there.

  "Richard is taking her to his mother. She and my aunt are shopping for their trip to Brighton."

  "Brighton?" Lizzy could not disguise her surprise and fear. It was foolish, after all Brighton was a perfectly respectable place for a young lady to go with a proper chaperone.

  Darcy must have heard the odd note of fear in her tone for he pulled her closer, brushing a kiss along her jaw. "They are staying there for the summer."

  "Because Georgiana must avoid us now we have wed in suspicious haste without society's approval?"

  "Yes, my aunt did not wish her to attend the wedding, but Georgiana would not hear of missing it. I think her reputation is safe. I do not see how anyone can find out she went."

  "I have lost Lady Matlock's favor," said Lizzy with a sad smile.

  "No. She still most fond of you. If you had seen how wroth she was with my uncle you would not doubt her affection for you. She sent him out of the house. He wisely did not argue. I believe he spent the night at his club. Far too comfortable a punishment when you were forced to wander the streets, wet and frightened."

  "I have told you, I did not do much wandering. I was safely with my sister by nightfall," she said, sensing his growing agitation. "I wish you would not upset yourself about it. I was not harmed."

  "That you were not is a miracle. While I am certain my uncle did not intend any harm to befall you—physical harm at least, my Aunt Catherine's motives . . . .I cannot easily dismiss my ire. Anything might have happened to you!"

  "Yes, but it did not and I am determined to put it behind us," Lizzy said patiently. "That is not to say I will ever be easy in their company again—."

  "You will never be in their company again. My aunt has already been removed from this house. I have severed my acquaintance with them both forever as they would no doubt wish me to do now that I have married you."

  Lizzy bent forward and gathered the bedclothes up, piling them upon herself. She found it difficult to argue persuasively in the nude. "I will not be responsible for separating you from your family. Forgiveness will not come immediately, but you must see a way to forgive them eventually."

  Darcy looked astounded. After a moment he chuckled quietly and said, "I forget you do not have my talent for resentment."

  "I fear you are wrong about that."

  Lizzy relayed what had passed between herself and her youngest sister the previous night.

  "I had not allowed myself to forgive her. Lydia was only a foolish child when it happened. I was a fool to have held onto my resentment so long,"she said as her account came to a close.

  "Your feelings were only natural. She ruined your life."

  "Did she?" Lizzy challenged with a grin, "I think my life is going rather well at the moment."

  "You think you have made a good decision?" Darcy asked, mirroring her playful expression.

  "I have high hopes. Time will tell, I suppose."

  Darcy suddenly pushed her onto the bed, altering their position so her back was pressed against the mattress as he smiled down at her. Lizzy let out a giggling shriek that carried and made her glad Georgiana had not followed them home. She hoped fervently all the servants were deaf.

  "You will never convince me I deserve you," he said, gazing at her with loving wonder.

  "I am certain you are right about that," she said teasingly. "Fortunately for you I do not think merit has much to do with love." Her thoughts traveled automatically to Lydia's unwarranted devotion to Mr. Wickham. It was frustrating he should be able to injure her even in death.

  Observing the consternation cross her features, Darcy asked, "What is it?"

  "I was thinking of my sister and Mr. Wickham. She was devastated by his death, as I suppose one must be when one loses someone one loves, but he did not deserve her love. At least not to my mind. Though in the end he wanted to protect her. He showed me I needed to forgive her. That was a kindness I am glad he gave us both."

  "At least he proved not to be wholly worthless," Darcy said without vehemence.

  "How did you feel upon hearing of his death this morning?"

  Darcy rolled over to her side, sitting up halfway his weight upon his elbow he replied, "I did not feel as I thought I would."

  "How did you think you would feel?"

  "Vindicated. I had always known he would come to a bad end living as he had. I had thought I might take some small pleasure in knowing I had been right. I would never admit such meanness to anyone but you, but that was what I thought I would feel. Instead I felt. . ."

  "Sorrow?"

  Darcy shook his head. "It is a dull sort of ache. I think I mourned him long ago."

  Lizzy reached up to stroke his hair but he caught her hand. "Your ring. I had forgotten," he said looking at her bare finger. The borrowed ring had slipped off while she had signed the register and had to be searched for before being returned to the Colonel.

  He jumped out of bed, leaving a bemused Lizzy in his wake as he raced from the room pausing only briefly in his outer chamber to put on a dressing gown. Darcy returned some minutes later grinning proudly. Lizzy held out her hand and allowed him to slip the simple gold band over her finger.

  "I know some people have them set with precious stones but I thought you would prefer something simpler."

  "It is perfect," Lizzy said, admiring the ring. It had a flower motif along the band outside and on the inside their initials were engraved.

  "And now Mrs. Darcy you shall never escape me," he said drawing her close once more. "It will just be the two of us, forever."

  "I fear that cannot ever be. At least not for long. Someone will come between us."

  "No, I will not allow it."

  "But you already have. Apparently you were not as careful as you thought you were."

  Lizzy laughed at his confused mien. "I am with child," she explained.

  "You are certain?"

  "Most certain."

  She watched delightedly as his confusion morphed into jubilation.

  Chapter Thirty

  "Are you overheated?" It was not the first time this morning Darcy had made this query nor, Lizzy suspected, would it be the last.

  Lizzy struggled to withhold a sigh as she replied, "Not at all."

  Darcy managed a few strides in silence before he spoke again, "Perhaps we ought to turn around. We have been walking a half an hour at least."

  If a quarter of an hour had passed since they had set out she would have been heartily surprised. They were on their daily tour of the gardens. Though the gardens at Pemberley were extensive and reportedly the finest in the county, they had become in these three weeks since their arrival very familiar. Lizzy longed to wander freely in the untamed portion of the grounds but that was out of the question; Darcy's nerves could never tolerate such recklessness.

  This time Lizzy did not stifle her sigh. "Fitzwilliam, I assure you I feel perfectly well. I promise if I feel the least bit poorly I will return to the house and play the invalid you seem determined to cast me as."

  Darcy dropped his gaze. His chastised expression made her feel guilty. Since he
had learned of her pregnancy he had been fretful about her health. No matter how often she assured him his worries were unwarranted he could not be at ease.

  As a man who was used to having control over nearly every aspect of his life, who had been taught from his youth to protect the fairer sex from harm, from pain, and indeed from having any sort of worry or responsibility at all, the realization that his wife would bear all the pain and responsibility of bringing their child into the world while he was essentially powerless did not sit well with him. Lizzy understood how he must be feeling. Truly. That did not make his constant fretting any less exasperating.

  "You must believe me. I feel much better than I have of late. I am no longer nauseated, the odd dreams have ceased, and I am not as easily exhausted as I was at first."

  "Are you certain you are still with child?"

  The man is simply determined to worry about something, Lizzy thought. She drew a deep breath to clear her irritation. She wasn't being fair. She had had the same concerns just last week.

  "Yes, I'm certain. I wrote to Lady Matlock and she assured me this was perfectly normal. She said I probably will not be too miserable again until the last few months, at which point I will be so rotund I will be unable to see my own feet and will be quite grateful for your resolve to never allow me to do anything for myself."

  They completed their circuit in companionable silence. Lizzy sneaked glances at Darcy, observing his countenance vacillate between joy and anxiety. She knew he was still thinking about the baby. Her feelings on the subject did not waver. In the first few weeks after realizing she was pregnant fear had sometimes seized her, but since their marriage she had felt secure and confident both she and child would survive the birthing. Now when she thought of the birth all she felt was anticipatory delight.

  "What are your plans for today?" Darcy asked as they entered the foyer.

  "I have a few letters to write and then I thought I would spend the afternoon with Lewis by the lake. He does like to play with his little boat. We will take our midday meal there," Lizzy paused, hesitantly she continued, "Perhaps you'll join us?" She tried not to sound too hopeful. Darcy had yet to visit with Lewis. She did not wish to push him into a meeting before he was ready, yet she was beginning to wonder if he would ever do so without forceful encouragement.