Dr. White's Baby Wish

by Sue MacKay

  ‘What did I tell you?’

  ‘What’s next?’ the man himself asked as he approached the counter, moving those muscles like a panther. No wasted movement, all stealth and strength.

  Patients. That was why she was here. Not because of a sexy man. More’s the pity. A quick scan told her, ‘A toddler with a button up his nose.’

  Cody gave her a guarded smile. ‘Small children and orifices—not always a good look.’

  How had she got partnered with Cody today of all days? She’d tossed and turned most of the night because of him invading her brain matter, reliving that kiss so often she thought she could be ruined for any other man and his kisses. She might as well join the nunnery now. Spending the day working alongside him would only add to the tension tightening her own muscles, turning her stomach into a washing machine on spin.

  She needed to be distant with him. How did she do that when she knew what it felt like to have those arms wound around her? And those lips on hers? But… Always a but. They wanted different— No, they hoped to obtain similar things out of life. But those things could never match up between them. So to avoid heartache she was determined to remain totally professional around him. Starting now. A couple of hours late, but at least she could begin as she meant to go on.

  Except it was as though everyone else thought they should be together after what they’d shared here on Friday. The talk going around the department was still about the body packer and his boss, but at least no one was asking endless questions about how she or Cody felt any more. While meant kindly, those questions had become tiring, and had hindered her determination to put it all behind her. It hadn’t been as easy as she’d thought to come to work today. She’d had to deliberately toughen her stance and put on a neutral face, but every time she walked past Resus One a cold shiver slid down her spine and she found herself looking over her shoulder, fully expecting to find a gun in her face.

  She’d thought she was hiding it well until Cody had said quietly, ‘Resus One’s never going to be the same, is it?’

  She’d looked at him, ready to snap that she was fine, but had met only empathy in those vivid green eyes. Of course. ‘Not for a while, any rate.’

  Those eyes, if not that voice, would be the undoing of all her good intentions. Face it, Harper, those intentions are already unravelling. She straightened her already straight back. She could lock gazes with the man and not feel her knees knock. Couldn’t she? Better not try to find out now. There were patients waiting. Was it possible to fall in lust this quickly? Quickly? It had been over a week since Cody had started working here, days since he’d been her hero in Resus One. Falling in love only took an instant in some cases.

  Love? Lust. Love? Crazy. Not when she’d vowed to avoid that particular emotion again. That didn’t count family and friends, but Cody could never be just an every day kind of friend. She’d never be able to look at him without wondering what the follow up to his kisses would be like. Oh, she had her suspicions. But that was only the physical side of things. There was plenty more to Cody than his hot bod and those divine lips. Characteristics that were equally attractive as his body.

  ‘Harper? Hello. Where have you gone this time?’ Cody still stood in front of her.

  ‘What do you mean, this time?’

  ‘We were talking about Resus One and you went all blank on me.’

  Not blank, but at least she could be grateful he hadn’t known what was going on in her head. ‘Resus One. That’s what we talking about.’ A glance at the innocuous room still had her shivering.

  Cody shrugged. ‘We could hold a party in there to banish the bad vibes.’

  ‘A fancy dress one.’ And just like that she relaxed, dropping the façade of being only a colleague who knew next to nothing about him. Not what she intended at all. But she couldn’t seem to help it. There was a lot of talk doing the rounds about the hug she and Cody had shared after the police had taken the gunman away. Apparently it had looked seriously intense. The people talking about it didn’t know the half of it. Harper’s heartbeat went double-time every time she thought about it.

  He said, ‘You’d come as a pirate, brandishing a sword and slaying anything that moved.’

  ‘Actually, I do a better parrot, all feathers and squawks.’

  His eyes widened. ‘A parrot?’

  ‘Yes, with a very long beak, all the better to peck kids with, and claws that hold chocolate cake.’ Her smile broadened as it came from deep inside. Yeah, it was good talking with Cody like this. It was good being with Cody full stop—therein lay the problem. But right now she couldn’t be bothered with problems. She was tired, hungry and so ready for a strong coffee.

  ‘This I have to see. Whose birthday is next in the brat pack?’

  ‘Your biggest fan.’

  ‘Of course. How could I forget when Levi mentioned it at least ten times? But he’s getting too old for parrots. Or pirates.’ Cody shook his head. ‘Here I was, hoping to see you with your cake claws out.’

  Harper rolled her eyes with amusement. Cody had been such a hit yesterday, he’d been invited to the next birthday party in her family. It was kind of cool, really. If she hadn’t been trying to avoid him. Maybe she should toughen up and go with whatever came out of this liaison. Have some fun, enjoy the moment. Eek. Scary. Exciting.

  Loud cries came from behind the curtains of Cubicle Three, thankfully interrupting her frightening train of thought. ‘That’s our cue.’ Pushing the curtain aside, she went to meet their small patient. ‘Hello, Jarrod. I’m Harper, the doctor who’s going to make you better.’

  The little boy yelled louder and the man sitting on the bed holding him, presumably his dad, looked uncomfortable. ‘Sorry, but he’s got himself into a bit of a state.’

  ‘Hey, Jarrod, what’s this?’ Cody stepped up with his hand twisted into the shape of a…?

  Harper had no idea, but Jarrod stopped yelling long enough to stare at the fingers that were now wiggling at him.

  ‘It’s Bobby the Bunny. Look what he can do.’ Cody made hopping gestures across the bed, pulled faces and made ridiculous noises.

  And had Jarrod completely entranced.

  Harper sighed. No surprise there. Yesterday she’d learned how good he was with kids. Introducing herself to the man holding Jarrod, she confirmed he was his dad. ‘Has Jarrod tried blowing his nose hard?’

  ‘Lots of times at first, but then it hurt, so he stopped.’

  ‘Any idea how big this button is?’

  ‘Bigger than a shirt button, but not by too much, if I’ve got the right one.’

  Harper moved closer. ‘Jarrod, can I can look up your nose? Bobby Rabbit will be here watching you, okay?’

  Jarrod screamed and turned his head into his father’s shoulder.

  Not okay, then. ‘You’re going to have to hold him firmly while I take a look,’ she instructed the father. ‘Nurse, can you turn Jarrod’s head for me?’

  After a fast and awkward exam, Harper shook her head. ‘That’s jammed at the top. I’m going to have to sedate him so that I can pull the button out with tweezers.’

  ‘Wait a moment.’ Cody disappeared before she had time to ask where he thought he was going.

  Who’s the doctor around here? Her bonhomie faded. Another reason why she had to keep that distance: Cody had no right to think he could take charge.

  The curtain flicked open as Cody returned. He held his hand under Jarrod’s nostrils. ‘Big breath through your nose, buddy.’

  ‘Pepper?’ Harper shook her head sharply. ‘I don’t think a sneeze is going to fix this. That button’s jammed tight.’

  The first two sneezes proved her right. The third one sent the offending round of plastic flying across the floor.

  ‘Good boy, way to go.’ Cody held his palm up in front of the bemused boy. ‘High five, man.’

  Jarrod’s hand was ridiculously tiny against Cody’s, but his smile was huge. ‘High five, Bobby Rabbit.’

  ‘Thank you, Nur
se Brand,’ she said, quietly enough he probably didn’t hear. She wasn’t sure she wanted him to. Reverting to calling him Nurse Brand underlined the fact he was bringing the worst out in her. He had her reacting to his charm as though it was something to be beaten into submission. Afraid? a niggly little voice in the back of her head taunted. Very. But she needed to remember that not every charmer was on a mission to hurt her as Darren had. They weren’t getting the chance.

  ‘Let’s take a break while we can,’ Cody said. ‘We’re late for lunch as it is.’

  ‘You go ahead. I’m not hungry yet.’

  ‘So that gurgling I’ve been hearing for the last thirty minutes is all in my imagination?’ Cody shrugged casually, but his eyes were full of disappointment. ‘It’s not going to be easy for you to keep your distance from me in here. Staff take breaks as they can, regardless of who they’re working with.’

  ‘I just think—’ What the blazes did she think? Before seeing Jarrod, she’d relaxed enough to be happy around Cody; now she wanted to avoid him. Yep. Definitely afraid. So, toughen up and deal with it, with him. First, he was right—staff went for a break with whoever else was going, regardless of their role in the department. Even George was happy to drink coffee with a porter or junior nurse, so what was her problem? ‘Let’s go. Canteen or the café over the road?’

  Bewilderment shoved aside that disappointment in Cody’s eyes. Shaking his head at her, he managed, ‘Café,’ before heading for the staff room and his locker.

  All too soon she was seated at a tiny table in a cosy corner of the café with Cody’s knees knocking up against hers in the cramped space. Trying to move her legs to avoid him proved awkward and made her feel stupid, so she stayed put. Enjoyed the moment. Plates of food sat on the table between them; steam rose from mugs of black coffee. She forgot to remain aloof. ‘You’re good with children. Jarrod would’ve done anything you asked.’

  ‘Kids don’t look past what you’re offering, just take you at face value. It’s kind of refreshing.’ As he bit into his pie, small flakes of pastry dropped onto his shirt.

  It would be too easy to reach across and brush them off. One sandwich did not need two hands to hold it, but how else was she to keep them out of trouble? She bit into the bread and salad, chewing thoughtfully. When she’d swallowed the tasteless lump of what had been tomato and lettuce she told Cody, ‘You’re a lot like my brothers. Fun, and happy to act the clown if it gets you a laugh. You’ll make a great dad to those kids you want one day.’

  Cody took another bite of his pie, obviously not in a hurry to carry on that conversation.

  Suddenly everything he’d said on the beach yesterday came back to her. Not just the bit about him wanting a family. ‘You said having a family was unlikely for you. Why? Has someone hurt you so much you won’t contemplate another relationship?’

  The shutters dropped over his usually friendly gaze so fast she shivered. ‘Eat your lunch, doctor. We’ve got a busy department awaiting us.’

  She’d gone too far. All because Cody was getting to her and her only defence to that was that, by getting to know more about him, she could find reasons for not wanting to have anything else to do with him other than at work. Her sandwich suddenly seemed dry in her mouth. She’d upset him, and that was the last thing she wanted. Should’ve thought before putting her mouth into gear.

  It came from being out of practice at small talk, she supposed. Having been through a lot with Cody in the last few days was no excuse. ‘I’m sorry. I expect people to mind their own business when it comes to my private life, and yet I’ve just overstepped the mark with you. I’m truly sorry,’ she repeated.

  Pushing his chair back, he stood, looming over her, though she thought that was unintentional, merely an occupational hazard stemming from being so tall. ‘I’ve forgotten what you asked already. See you back at work. I’ve got a prescription to pick up for my mother.’

  As he threaded his way through the lunchtime crowd, his broad shoulders tight, his head high, even through her irritation Harper felt her heart lurch.

  See? This was why she had to stay clear of any involvement with Cody. The risk of being hurt frightened her. She’d heard Jason’s warning yesterday, knew he might even be right, but that didn’t make it any easier to take that first step off the tightrope she currently walked. Along with the fact she couldn’t have children, she’d lost the dream of a happy marriage, which was even more important to her. She’d put heart and soul into the one she’d had with Darren. She’d loved him completely and utterly, would’ve done anything for him, given him everything. Yet in the end all he’d asked of her was his freedom.

  The mug of coffee shook in her hands. She needed something big to distract her from all this so that one morning she could wake up and say, ‘Yes, I am truly happy with my lot.’ Something that had nothing to do with Cody Brand. Because like it or not he seemed to have taken over her mind, her feelings, her body.

  Patchwork and tennis hadn’t worked. What should she try next? Abseiling? She shuddered. Not likely. Time to stop trying out all these different hobbies. She didn’t need a hobby. She needed to make the most of what she already had. Which was a lot. Between doctoring and family there wasn’t much spare time anyway. Even if she wanted to get bored and sew together all those pieces of fabric she’d painstakingly cut up in the first place there just wasn’t enough time.

  Which reminded her—she needed to cancel the order for a paddle-board. As if she was going to go out in the harbour with only a board and a paddle to get around…

  *

  Cody strode down the road, intent on reaching the pharmacy and putting distance between himself and Harper so as to clear his head of her, as a woman he had the hots for, before he had to go back and work alongside her as a doctor.

  He could’ve used the hospital dispensary to get his mother’s tablets but the air in there was stifling. Nothing to do with the hot summer’s day either. This might be turning out to be the hottest summer on record but his discomfort came from being close to a fiery woman with a delicious mouth and beautiful eyes. A woman who kissed like an angel. And who asked far too many questions that probed places best left alone. The risk to his heart had increased tenfold since yesterday. Huh? Try since Friday, and that monster. Time to get some control back, tighten the hatches and keep her out.

  Harper. Doctor. Adored aunt. Beloved sister and sister-in-law. Fun and amusing. Sad and unhappy.

  For the life of him, he didn’t fully understand her sadness. Sure, there was that baby thing. He got it. Really got it. If he couldn’t have a family, he’d be gutted. But he’d swear there was more going on with her. He should just ask her outright. Like she asked him things he didn’t want to answer? Have her stalking off in a huff? Exasperation trickled over his lips. He’d done wrong. Shouldn’t have walked away from Harper’s questions. He wasn’t playing fair. Not with her. He was looking out for himself.

  ‘Ten minutes,’ the pharmacist’s assistant told him as she read the script.

  ‘Fine.’ He headed outside to look at paint and wallpaper in the decorating shop next door.

  ‘Can I help you?’ asked a young, over-enthusiastic woman from behind the counter.

  ‘Just looking,’ he replied and suffered a flat smile in return, which made him feel bad. ‘I’m still deciding what colours I want to use inside my house.’ Now, there was a joke.

  ‘Are you going to do every room the same? Or have different shades for bedrooms and the living areas?’

  The problem with playing nice was it became difficult to get away without upsetting someone. As Harper had just found out. ‘Maybe one colour, with different shades of it for different areas.’

  He’d really upset Harper. There’d been annoyance on her face when he’d walked away at the café, which ramped up his guilt. They’d talked about her personal life quite a lot since he’d first taken her home to her apartment on Friday. Today’s conversation was only a continuation of getting to know each other
better. But he didn’t do talking about his life, past or present. People read too much into things.

  ‘Here’re some paint charts to take home.’ The girl shoved a small bundle at him and hurried off to talk to another man coming in the door.

  ‘Thanks,’ he called as he passed her on his way out. Hope you have better luck with him than you did with me—on all counts.

  ‘What are you up to?’ The voice of the person he’d been avoiding caught up with him as he reached the hospital entrance. ‘Are those colour charts you’ve got there?’

  Damn. ‘Thinking of painting my bedroom,’ he grunted, which was true. There was also the rest of the five-bedroomed house that was in serious need of fresh paint, amongst other things.

  ‘You’ve got a lot of charts for one small room.’ Harper’s laugh was strained.

  ‘It’s a big decision.’ He managed to smile back.

  ‘How is your sense of colour?’

  Crap. ‘I’m colour-blind. Like, completely colour-blind.’ He swore under his breath. That opened the door—wide.

  Sure enough, Harper walked right in. ‘Want some input? I managed to choose the colours for my apartment without making a botch-up.’

  He’d already walked away from her questions once today. He really didn’t feel up to doing it again, even if it meant disclosing more about himself than he was prepared to do. He tried for tactful. ‘You’re too busy. Anyway, it’s only a room. The colour’s not a major problem.’ That wasn’t really true. The whole house would look a disaster if he ended up painting it bright orange or another equally appalling colour. At least, he’d assumed from other people’s reaction to his previous attempts at decorating that orange was a bad choice if he wanted soft and subtle.

  ‘Of course.’ Her tone was flat.