For Better or Worsted

by Betty Hechtman

  “Is this some kind of recording device?” I asked, and Emerson shrugged in answer. She took it from me and began to look it over with new interest. As she fiddled with it, suddenly voices started coming out of it. She found that turning the barrel controlled the volume.

  “It’s my father,” she said as a conversation could be heard coming out of the pen. I saw Emerson begin to tear up as she listened. She was caught up in her father’s voice, but I was more interested in what was being said. The quality was poor, but if I listened closely, I could hear their words.

  “I think there is someone who should hear this,” I said.

  “I don’t know if it will do any good, but maybe it will give me some closure,” Emerson said.

  Thursday agreed to go along, both for moral support and because she had the best chance of getting us past the receptionist.

  It worked perfectly. Now that Jackson Kingsley realized neither Thursday nor her mother had anything to do with Jonah’s death, he was much nicer to her. So when the receptionist passed along the message that Thursday said she needed to talk to him about something regarding Jonah, Kingsley told the receptionist to show her back.

  He wasn’t as happy to see Emerson and me.

  “What’s this all about?” Jackson said in his melodious deep voice. “I thought it was about Jonah.”

  “It is,” Thursday said and then gave Emerson the floor. As she played the recording on the pen, Emerson said, “You can deny it all you want, but that is your voice asking my father for all the results on the tests of the weight-loss product. You can hear my father telling you about the banned substance in the batch you’d gotten in. He even says the reason it was banned was that there had been reported heart problems.”

  Thursday was hearing it for the first time, and she was shocked. Kingsley was stoic and denied it was him, saying her father had tried to play that card before.

  “You can deny it all you want,” Emerson said, standing over him. “But you know that it’s your voice on the tape. And you are going to have to live for the rest of your life knowing that what you did ended up causing your son’s death.” She turned to the rest of us, and we headed out the door.

  But at the doorway I paused and looked back. Jackson Kingsley’s face had crumbled into agony. No matter what he said to us, he did know the truth. And now he had to live with it. The worst kind of prison is the one you create yourself.

  * * *

  “OKAY, NANCY PINK, MAYBE NOW YOU CAN FOCUS your sleuthing on figuring out the real identity of the yarn bomber,” Adele said in a low voice, glancing nervously at the worktable in the yarn department where her boyfriend’s mother sat knitting. “She’s leaving soon, and I don’t want her to go home thinking I’m a yarn criminal.”

  I hadn’t really focused on the yarn bomber situation before, but now I gave it my full attention. “Maybe if I can find a pattern, I can figure out where the next yarn incident is going to be,” I said to Dinah and Adele later as the Hooker meeting broke up.

  The first thing I did was to gather up the monkey’s jacket and lay it out beside the newspaper and cell phone pictures of the assorted yarn attacks. I put all the items in chronological order and examined them. I stared at the photos for a long time, and then, even though I didn’t have pictures of everything, something jumped out at me. I laughed at how obvious it had been all along. Still, the only real way to prove my hunch was to catch the culprit in the midst of a bombing.

  I thought Dinah and I could do it alone, but Adele insisted on coming along, claiming she was the one who had to clear her name.

  “I don’t know how you can be so sure you know where it’s going to be,” Adele said as we trudged up the street from Dinah’s. It was late and everything was closed. It was the perfect time for a yarn attack.

  “Pink, what if the cops drive by and see the three of us? Your plan could backfire.”

  I pointed out that I didn’t think the cops would notice us, even if they drove by. We’d all dressed in black, down to Dinah’s long scarf, and were invisible like a bunch of ninjas.

  We slipped around the corner and took up a position near the entrance to the bookstore, hiding behind the topiary lion in a long flower box that had recently been added. And then we waited. I was sure this was the spot, but there was no way of knowing the exact time.

  After an hour, all of us were getting antsy, and I was about to call off our mission when I heard the clang of a ladder and the three of us ducked.

  The ladder made a rhythmic sound as it got closer, and then I heard the sound of it being set up. I held the two of them back until I heard the soft sound of footsteps climbing up the ladder quickly.

  I counted to three in a whisper, and we all stood up as I took out the flashlight I’d brought and pointed it upward.

  “Elise!” Adele yelled. The small woman froze just as she hung a long colorful strip of crochet on the last e in Shedd & Royal Books and More.

  “Remove that piece of crochet,” Adele ordered. Elise pulled off the strip and slunk down the ladder. She stopped at the bottom and put her hands up.

  Adele wanted to detain her and call Eric, so she could confess to him. But we talked Adele out of it. Eric didn’t so much need to know who the yarn bomber was, just that the attacks were finished. We let Elise hang the strip back with one change. She had to add a note.

  The next day when I got to work, Dinah was waiting for me and, as expected, there was a small crowd around the front of the bookstore, and Eric was in the center. He’d become the department point man in the yarn bombing incidents. Mr. Royal had finally returned from his travels. He came out with a ladder, which Eric used to climb up and remove the piece. He saw the note on it and after reading it over said, “It’s about time.”

  He waved the note to the gathered group and read it out loud when he got to the bottom of the ladder. “‘To All, I’m retiring and promise this is my final act. Thank you and good-bye.’”

  Dinah and I followed him as he walked right into the bookstore and hugged Adele, even though he was in his uniform. “Cutchykins, thank you,” he said. Then he lowered his voice, but we could hear him anyway as he said that he had to admit he liked that dangerous side to her.

  “Why couldn’t he have said that before?” I said to Dinah as we watched them call each other pet names.

  “You never told us how you figured out it was Elise,” Dinah said.

  “It was easy when I looked at the pictures. The monkey’s jacket had a long white line of surface crochet. I realized it was supposed to be the letter I. And in the picture of the second incident, the gazebo at the cultural center had hearts hanging from it. Everybody uses that to mean love.” I continued on, showing how the next letter was a V, then the two figures wearing the ponchos were right under the A and M. “Eric had sent Adele a photo of the yarn bombing on the handles of the motorcycle. When I saw it again and was looking for letters, I noticed the P. Even with a missing letter, I figured it out. And when I looked at the monkey’s jacket again, realized the answer was staring me in the face.” I reached in my pocket and pulled it out, showing it to my friend.

  “Now I get it.” She laughed. “It’s done in half double crochet. The stitch Elise does everything in because she thinks they look like fangs. With the e from the Shedd & Royal sign, she was trying to spell out ‘I love vampire,’” Dinah said. “Shouldn’t it say ‘vampires’?”

  I shook my head and pointed to the window display right below the bookstore sign. There was a whole assembly of the Anthony books for Halloween with a large cutout of the crocheting vampire in the middle. It was an artist’s rendering from the book, but it did look a lot like Hugh Jackman. “Elise only likes Anthony. So she only loves vampire.”

  * * *

  AT LAST EVERYTHING WAS PEACEFUL AGAIN. LEONORA went home and Adele went back to her wild outfits. It turned out that all her playacting at being prim had bac
kfired. Leonora told her son that Adele was too bland for her taste and recommended he break up with her and find someone with more personality. When Adele heard, she immediately started making plans for them all to spend Thanksgiving together as a do-over. I could only imagine what that would be like.

  My house was peaceful, too. Thursday moved out and into a sweet little guesthouse with a yard. She’d become attached to Hamlet the pig and took him with her. I wished I could have been a fly on the wall when her mother and the film crew came over to see Thursday’s place for the first time. Did I mention Jaimee didn’t know anything about the mini pig her daughter was fostering until his owner could take care of him again?

  I didn’t have the whole story, but it seemed Thursday and Ben were trying to work things out. Another surprise for her mother.

  And remember how Dinah and I told Ben he should do the right thing and all that, and we thought maybe he was going to confess? There might have been a bit of miscommunication there. His idea of facing up to things was to turn in the Pinocchio nose and costume and become Mr. Darcy from Pride and Prejudice. Now anyone from his writers’ group who came into the Storybook Cabaret would know it was him. Though it looked like his days of working there were numbered. After the first of the year, he was going to be a writer on a Web-only continuing series about a bunch of people working at a bowling alley.

  Even though Paxton Cline was off the hook, he didn’t like the fact that nobody bought his alibi, so he managed to get a copy of a sports news broadcast that showed someone catching a foul ball. And Paxton was clearly in the seat next to him.

  I was glad that everything was smoothed over because I loved his company’s yarn, and he offered to be my contact.

  * * *

  THE SANTA ANAS HAD KICKED UP AGAIN AND DIED down, and for now, my yard was the picture of peace. I made myself a fragrant cup of rose tea and took it outside. Evening was coming faster now, and all that was left of the afternoon was a blush of apricot toward the west.

  I heard the clank of my back gate followed by footsteps, and then Barry came into view. I couldn’t see his expression in the semidarkness and was about to offer him a cup of tea, but he spoke before I could.

  “I have to talk to you.” He blew out his breath, a sure sign he was having a hard time with whatever he was about to say.

  I asked him to sit, but he wanted to stand, which made me even more uneasy. A mourning dove landed in the grass and began to look over the ground for dinner.

  “I’ve been thinking. It isn’t right to keep vying with Mason for your attention. We all know this just-friends thing is a sham.” I could see Barry’s expression now, and he didn’t look happy.

  “Mason is good for you. He’s dependable and he doesn’t have issues. Even his daughter said how good you were for each other. I’ve been trying so hard to act like I work nine to five. But my job is more than a job. It’s a calling. I’m the one who speaks for the dead and gets them justice. I follow up on leads no matter what time it is. But that means part of me is always thinking about my job and ready to be called away at a moment’s notice. You deserve more than that.” He blew out his breath again.

  “So, I’m stepping away.” He didn’t wait for me to say anything. A moment later, I heard the clank of the gate and then the sound of the Tahoe’s engine. He was gone.

  What was that story about King Solomon and the two women fighting over the baby? The one who loved it the most was the one who was willing to give up her claim.

  Now what?

  I sat there thinking for a long time. The sky had turned midnight blue, and the fragrant tea had grown cold. All along I’d said I wanted to be on my own, seeing what it was like to fly solo. I picked up the teacup and prepared to go in. Is that what I still wanted? Maybe it was time to make a change.

  Party Scarf

  Easy to Make

  Supplies:

  K-10 ½ (6.5mm) hook

  1 skein Ruby Red Lion Brand Vanna Glamour, 202 yards (185 meters) fine weight, 96% acrylic, 4% polyester metallic

  1 skein Red Lion Brand Fun Fur (in the same color), 64 yards (58 meters)

  Tapestry needle

  Stitches:

  Chain stitch, single crochet

  Finished Size:

  Approximately 68 inches long

  Gauge is not important for this project.

  Chain 180 with the Ruby Red Vanna Glamour

  Row 1: Make a single crochet in the second chain from hook. Make a single crochet in each of the chains. Chain 1 and turn work.

  Row 2: Make 2 single crochets in each of the stitches in the previous row. Chain 1 and turn work. The stitches will begin to ruffle in this row.

  Row 3: Make 2 single crochets in each of the stitches in the previous row. Attach the Red Fun Fur to the last stitch. Chain 1 using both yarns and turn work.

  Row 4: Using both yarns together make a single crochet in each stitch across. Fasten off and weave in ends using the tapestry needle.

  Dr. Wheel’s Meditation Washcloth

  Easy to Make

  Supplies:

  G-6 (4.00 mm) hook

  1 skein of Lion Brand Nature’s Choice Organic Cotton yarn, 100% organically grown cotton, 103 yards (94 meters)

  Tapestry needle

  Stitches:

  Chain stitch, half double crochet, single crochet, slip stitch

  Finished Size:

  Approximately 7 inches x 7 ½ inches

  Gauge is not important to this project.

  Chain 21

  Row 1: Make a half double crochet in the third chain from hook and in each of the chains across. Chain 2 (does not count as first stitch in the next row) and turn work. 19 stitches made.

  Row 2: Make a half double crochet in first stitch and across. Chain 2 (does not count as first stitch in next row) and turn work. 19 stitches made.

  Row 3–13: Repeat row 2. On last row do not chain 2 and turn. Do not fasten off.

  Edging:

  Round 1: Chain 1 and make 3 single crochets all in the same stitch (it’s a corner). Then loosely make single crochets around, making 3 single crochets in each of the corner stitches. Join to the first stitch with a slip stitch.

  Round 2: Chain 1 (do not turn work) and make 3 single crochets in the back loop of the same stitch (it’s a corner). Make a single crochet in the back loop of each stitch, making three single crochets in each corner. Join to first stitch with a slip stitch. Finish off and weave in ends using the tapestry needle.

  CeeCee’s Pet Mat

  Pet mats are quick to make and a good way to use up remnants of washable yarn. CeeCee made hers for a small dog or cat, but by starting with more chain stitches and making more rows, one can be made for larger dogs.

  Supplies:

  Q-19 (15.75 mm) hook

  3 lengths of washable yarn approximately 170 yards each

  Tapestry needle

  Stitches: Chain stitch, single crochet

  Finished Size:

  Approximately 18 inches x 20 inches

  Gauge is not important to this project.

  Chain 31 with all 3 strands of yarn together.

  Row 1: Make a single crochet in the second chain from the hook and across. Chain 1 and turn work.

  Row 2: Make a single crochet in each stitch across. Chain 1 and turn work.

  Repeat Row 2 28 times, fasten off and weave in ends with tapestry needle.

  Tea Sandwiches

  Take a square loaf of egg bread, sliced thin, or good-quality sandwich bread of your choice. Cut off the crusts. Spread fillings on one slice, cover with another slice of bread. Cut across diagonally and then diagonally the other way, so that you have four triangles. Arrange on a platter in a pinwheel fashion. Garnish with parsley.

  POSSIBLE FILLINGS:

  Finely chopped egg salad

  Cream cheese
with finely sliced hothouse cucumbers

  Butter with watercress

  Cream cheese with julienned, seasoned sun-dried tomatoes

  Cream cheese mixed with chopped walnuts and raisins

  Peanut butter with thinly sliced bananas

  Hummus with chopped olives

  Bob’s Birthday Chocolate Cake Cookie Bars

  Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease and flour a 10 inch x 15 inch pan.

  ¾ cup butter melted and cooled

  2 eggs

  1½ cups sugar

  2 teaspoons vanilla extract

  2 cups all purpose flour

  2 teaspoons baking powder

  ½ cup unsweetened cocoa powder

  1½ cups milk

  Melt the butter and let it cool. With an electric mixer, beat the eggs, sugar and vanilla until yellow and thick. In a separate bowl, mix the flour and baking powder. Sift the cocoa powder over the dry mixture and stir to blend. Add the dry ingredients, alternating with the milk and melted butter to the egg and sugar mixture. Pour the batter into the prepared pan. Bake for approximately 20 minutes until a toothpick comes out clean. Cool before frosting. Makes about 30 bars, depending on how they’re cut.

  VANILLA BUTTERCREAM FROSTING

  6 tablespoons butter

  1½ cups powdered sugar

  1–2 tablespoons milk

  2 teaspoons vanilla extract

  Chocolate chips for decoration

  Cream the butter and powdered sugar. Beat in the milk and vanilla. Spread on cooled cake. Decorate with chocolate chips.