Death's Widow

by Lori Aisling

  Holding his hand over his brow, as if looking far in the distance, Callon looked back to me. “She nails it out of the park, folks! The world’s biggest cliché and she straight-faced it! But seriously, if that’s truly what you want, we’ll go. Mickey Ears and the whole kit-n-kaboodle.”

  “Are you serious? We can actually go? I mean, you don’t have to stay here unless you are...working?”

  He laughed into the cup and I realized how quickly I was becoming addicted to the deep, melodic sound. “Of course I’m serious. We can go anywhere and everywhere, Amara. I’m sure you made a ‘bucket list’ before you came here; all those places you wanted to go, things you wanted to see- you told me this morning you had always wanted to visit the Serengeti. We will see them all in whatever manner you choose. Yes, I have to ‘work’, as you say, but we will have more than enough time to explore everywhere. When I leave, it will never be for long.”

  My mind conjured up a simple list, only about four miles long of every place, attraction, restaurant, and animal I truly ever desired to experience. I was giddy with the thought of this new life. “Screw Disneyland, we’re going to the Great Pyramids!” I gushed out. “But first, I kind of need to shower and change out of these pajamas. Which, I meant to ask- who do they belong to and is there a someone, or someones, I am going to need to have a chat with concerning our new ‘arrangement’? Because honestly, I don’t share, Callon. I have claws concerning my man. I know this is a new relationship, but I need to be honest. I have a bit of a jealous bone.”

  His heated gaze warmed me to my core, his eyes narrowing. “That’s good to hear, Amara. I too have expectations. I will provide anything and everything you will ever desire or need. But I will never share your affection. Ever. Your clothing, including the sleepwear, is new. I took the liberty of providing a closet of fashion I felt you would approve of when I brought you here. We will expand it based on your desires, obviously.”

  Noticing his body tense and his eyes move to something behind me, I turned in my chair to see what caught his eye. The massive door across the room was flanked by a pegged coat rack hanging on the wall. The large cloak he donned when I met him hung on the peg closest to the exit. I couldn’t recall seeing it before, which was odd. I was sure I would have remembered noticing it.

  “I must go, Amara. I will not be gone long, feel free to acquaint yourself with your new home. Please know I took this decision seriously- I have no secrets. Nothing in this house is off-limits to you. I want you to understand that and use the time I’m away to get comfortable with all the aspects of my life. I'll answer any questions you will have upon my return.”

  “Umm...ok. How do you know you have to go? I mean, one minute we were going to travel and the next you are leaving. Do you have some kind of instinct telling you when you are needed?”

  “I just know. I can’t really explain it- I just ‘feel’ it. The cloak appears and I must complete my task. But again, don’t worry- I will not be away for long. Time works differently in the human realm than it does here, it will seem like a couple of hours at most.”

  So that explained the shroud. He was right- there were a lot of questions I needed answers to and obviously now was not the time. I would compile a list while I was poking around the massive house after I showered. To be truthful, perhaps it was a good thing he was getting called away- it would give me time to think without his distracting presence. I made this decision and so far, I was glad I did. That did not negate the fact I was completely outside any point of reference to understanding my new reality. If I were going to be living here forever, or however long this lasted, I needed to know what I just signed up for.

  Upon rising, Callon swallowed the last bit of coffee before leaning down and cupping my face in his palms. “What’s mine is yours. The only thing I ask is you do not leave this house, ok? Under no circumstance. You will be able to come and go as you please in time, but right now you are unprepared. Will you accept that?”

  “I won’t leave- I promise. I’m as frightened of what is on the other side of that door as you are nervous about me leaving. I’ll clean up from breakfast, shower, and check out the house.”

  Without warning, he leaned down and captured my lips with his. This is it, I thought. My first kiss from Death. Was it everything I thought it would be? Well, I didn’t spontaneously combust. Not yet.

  Jane Austen with Tigers on a Gold Leash

  Callon left me sitting on the chair, breathless and speechless. He tossed the large, dominating cloak around his broad shoulders and exited the home without a backward glance. My fingers touched my lips, reminiscing about the feeling of his mouth, his taste. Reel it in, girl, I thought. I could get entirely too used to this.

  Squealing with excitement, I bounded out of the chair and collected the dishes from our meal. I raced into the kitchen and made a mad dash to wash them before wiping down the counters and table. With the menial task done, I set my sights on the rest of the house. Wandering down the hall, I peeked into the first room. An office complete with minibar and a massive book, I mean really huge, was placed on top of an unusually tall, antique-looking desk. I walked up to it and traced the letters on the front of the ancient tome. The tan-colored cover was leather-bound and it was smooth and supple from use- it felt like satin under my fingers. The title was in a language I couldn’t identify, it was so mysterious! Even languages I couldn’t speak I could usually at least figure out the origin- I once took Latin, so that narrowed down many of them. The others I had at least seen, and I rarely forgot anything concerning the written word. The lettering was unlike anything I could recall. I tried to open it, but the cover wouldn’t budge. I could feel the individual pages and there was nothing keeping the book from opening, yet it was ironclad. Try as I might, the pages of this manuscript were safe from my prying eyes. Being over a foot thick, my curiosity was beyond piqued, but I would have to ask Callon about it later. Maybe this was a ‘Death’ thing, perhaps the book was spelled. I mean, honestly, there must have been some kind of magic, spell-work or something paranormal for what he did.

  Moving to the next room, I opened the heavy door and my breath left me in a whoosh. The man owned a friggin’ library. Oh my God. The room was large, as big as the apartment I left behind in my previous existence. Floor to ceiling wood shelves were completely full of hardbound books. Wandering through the many rows, I found myself choosing different novels and thumbing through them. It held everything. Selecting a gorgeous tome, obviously an antique, my hands shook when I realized what I held. Are you freaking kidding me? This was a first edition of Emma by Jane Austen! Just this one book was valued at well over 40 thousand dollars and it was just sitting there! What other prizes were hidden in this room? I could lose myself in here for weeks. Months! Snapping back to reality, I decided I better bathe before I opted to set up a cot and never leave this library. If I let myself, I would still be in here- with bedhead and PJs when Callon returned, and I didn’t want that.

  With a slight feeling of disappointment, I forced myself back into the master bedroom where I awakened. I remembered our conversation concerning my new wardrobe and I was curious about what he chose for me. Opening the door to the walk-in closet, I was immediately overwhelmed for the umpeenth time since waking. Callon’s clothes were all neatly hung on the left side of the closet. The right side was obviously mine. How did he pull this off? Every garment was new, tags still attached. From casual hoodies to luxurious formal wear. I nervously unzipped a black garment bag to reveal a stunning evening gown of silver fabric woven with deep amethyst thread. The designer’s name was one I only ever saw A-List celebrities wear- holy shit. Being Death must pay well- really well. I was flattered, but a tad disturbed, honestly. The money this man spent on these clothes would take me five years of my current salary to even make a dent in paying him back. We needed to talk. It wasn’t that I didn’t appreciate all of this, it was just a lot to take in. A lot.

  Walking into the bathroom, I was yet again floored a
t the opulence of my new home. The shower stall was big enough for six people and there was a sunken jacuzzi tub in the corner. I would be utilizing that bad brother soon, I guarantee it. But for now, I just wanted to shower, dress and get back to the library. Opening one cupboard, I found stacks of soft, terry cloth bath sheets. The light scent of lavender clung to them and I held the plush cotton up to my face and breathed in the soothing aroma. I was always been a fan of lavender, it really did ground me. Right now? I could use some grounding.

  There were two vanities and I could tell right away which one was mine when I opened the cupboard. Brand new toothbrush, toothpaste, and floss. Opening the drawers, I realized he must have bought the entire damn Nordstom’s skincare counter. Every cream, tonic, and lotion they sold were lined in perfect rows. Makeup blended for my skin color, an eyeshadow palette I would have chosen myself, and every hair tool I could ever want or need was included in the vast vanity. If I couldn’t make myself look halfway decent with this assortment, there was a problem.

  A thought skirted across my mind so quickly I almost missed it. Did he planned this? The idea made me a little queasy. He admitted he watched me. For how long? Why? How could he have stocked not just this bathroom, but the closet too, in just one night? If all of this wasn’t planned and he was just as shocked at our connection as I was, wouldn’t this be entirely too much to pull off overnight? The more I thought about it, the sicker I felt. I didn’t know anything about this man. He showed up at my hospital bed as Death, and miraculously happened to be everything I ever wanted in a significant other. He even told me he would appear to me how I wanted him to appear. Is that magic? Was I spelled to fall for him? Oh hell, what if that was why the angels fought him for me?

  Stripping out of the pajamas, I stepped into the shower stall and let my mind run away with possible scenarios. I really wanted to believe we were destined to be, that he was my soulmate and I was his. But I needed to be honest with myself. That kind of shit only happens in novels, not real life. When it does, how often does the dying girl find out her true love is not only the manifestation of Death but obviously loaded, too? Never. That’s how often. Never.

  Scrubbing the remnants of the smell of the hospital off me, I again questioned his statement of me seeing him as I wanted to. What did that mean? Was he a hideous beast and he charmed me into falling for him? Looking down on my legs that had not seen a razor for God knows how long, I giggled. I was wondering who the beast was, huh? I always admired women who were comfortable in their own skin- shaving body hair was not a priority to them. I truly felt they were on to something with that mentality, but it was one I was never able to embrace. I loved my long hair-on my head, the rest of it needed to go. Seeing a brand new razor on the shelf of the shower, I set about my personal grooming. Regardless of the answers I received from Callon, I wanted to feel comfortable in my own skin again.

  After the cleansing shower I really didn’t want to leave, I put on a small amount of make-up, dried my hair, and dressed in a pair of comfy jeans and a t-shirt. Making my way back to the library, I decided I needed to lose myself in a book for a while. Questioning Callon’s motives was not going to do me any good without him here to answer my queries. I could have scoured the shelves for days but instead, I closed my eyes, spun in a circle, and pointed. That was the book. I would read that one. I didn’t even look at the title, I just took it and found an overstuffed recliner in a bay window looking out over what must have been Alaska, or maybe somewhere in Russia. Who knows, but there was a vast wilderness outside this house with not a single sign of any other inhabitant. I brewed another pot of coffee and with a steaming mug and a new book, I opened the first page and immediately got lost in its world.

  Explanations and Obsessions

  It seemed like mere moments but in truth, it was much longer. I was almost halfway through the novel when I heard the doorknob turn, followed by the click of the latch when it closed. The butterflies in my stomach must have been on an acid trip, part of it due to the questions I needed answered. The other part surprised me- I actually missed him, and was anxious to see him again. Watching him walk into the room solidified the fact- I had to forcibly hold myself in the chair. I wanted nothing more than to leap out of my seat and toss myself into his arms.

  He stood in the center of the space looking at me, his lips tipped up in a mischievous smile, his eyes twinkling with what appeared to be a mixture of amusement and...happiness? He was a sight to behold, I had to give him that. His broad shoulders strained against the button-up shirt he wore, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. His jeans hugged thick thighs just tight enough to show some definition, and his black hair held a tousled look making me crave the feeling of my fingers running through it.

  “Hello, Amara. I’m not surprised you found the library, Good! What did you settle on for today?”

  “I...umm…” I stared at him, all logical thought seemed to just flutter away like a leaf on the wind when he was around. “What do you really look like?” I blurted out. Shit. That wasn’t how I planned to broach the subject.

  Confusion clouded his features for a moment before realization set in and his eyes met mine. “Ah. So you are wondering if I am some scary, demon-like beast who has cast my evil spell upon you, is that it?”

  “I don’t know. Something like that. Maybe?” I croaked. This really was not going the way I envisioned. For someone who worked with authors every day, you would think I’d be more eloquent.

  “Come here.” He held his hand out to me and although I hesitated for a moment, I tentatively reached out and took it. He pulled me to my feet and, lacing his fingers through mine, we walked across the room. I held a death grip on my book- I have no idea why, but it seemed like the sane thing to do at the time.

  We approached a large, framed mirror hanging on the wall next to the foyer. Callon stood behind me and leaned down to rest his chin on my shoulder as we looked into the reflective glass. “What do I look like to you, Amara?” My name sounded like the finest wine the way it rolled off his tongue and my breath quickened. “Tell me what you see in this reflection.”

  “You look like...you, I guess,” I stuttered. “I mean, the way I see you. Does that mean you look this way only to my eyes and something different to others?”

  “Only when I am Death. When I am releasing or reaping a soul, I will appear different to those people. Many children see me as an angel. Wicked men or evil-doers usually see me as a demon or some likeness of one. Very rarely does someone see me as ‘me’. This man you see before you now is simply the vessel which Death embodies. This is how I will appear to any casual person on the street as we travel, or a server where we dine. This is me, Amara. I have not spelled you or tricked you in any way. You’re a truly decent person, with an honest character. In your mortal life, you never tried to be anyone other than who you are. You are just a good person, love. You had no reason at all to see me as other than who I really am- neither of us has anything to hide or be ashamed of. I knew you would have many questions and I don’t fault you for feeling this way. We have so much to talk about. Tell me more about your day and all the other doubts you are feeling.”

  I stepped away from him- I needed the space to keep my wits about me. The close proximity of his body to mine reduced me into a blubbering idiot. “The closet and the bathroom toiletries. Just the clothing would have taken time to put together. Yet in the course of one evening, you managed to fill the entire wardrobe with clothing of my size and style. Plus, many of those designers are extraordinarily hard to purchase from. You can’t just buy them off the rack. You said you had been watching me. Did you plan for me to come here before I ever died?” I was talking too fast, just trying to get the words out. I was terrified of the answer, but I simply needed to know.

  “Just to clarify- are you asking me if I was stalking you as you lay suffering and dying an agonizing death, all the while clothes shopping for you and waiting for my chance to swoop in and steal you away?” He managed to s
traight-face his response, but I could see the smirk. Smartass.

  “How did you know? That I would come here? That you would even like me once you met me?”

  “I didn’t. I didn’t plan for you, Amara. I had no idea you would be anything other than a job I needed to complete. I arranged for your incidentals once I brought you here. I arranged for my personal shopper to complete your wardrobe and necessities. She was made aware that time was of the essence and it needed to be completed immediately. Nothing more. There really was no conspiracy. If you need a good one, I can recommend a few from the library shelves, though.”

  She. My blood burned hot and my jealous monster flared her nostrils at the scent of another woman sniffing around what was mine. Mine. “Who is this ‘personal shopper’?” I asked innocently, using air quotes. I wasn’t even sure why it was relevant- here I was, questioning his motives and intentions one moment and wanting to mark my territory in the next. There was definitely something wrong with me.

  Callon’s eyes narrowed, his lips tipping up in a sadistic grin. “There she is. The green-eyed monster you warned me about. Tell me, dear, if you’re convinced my motives were premeditated, why would you be jealous of another woman? Do you want to hear about Nina? I can tell you about the time I have spent with her. I can even give you details if you’d like.”

  I made a mental note to slip laxatives into Nina’s truffles should I ever meet her, but I smiled sweetly. “There is no need for details. I’m sure you have a past, no doubt it’s quite colorful. I know one thing as fact: Nina isn’t here- I am. So I’m sure I am missing nothing by not hearing her accolades. However, I have a history as well. We can compare notes if you wish.”

  Fire flashed in his eyes, all humor gone. “Surely you aren’t speaking of that waste of a vessel who abandoned you when you fell ill? Yes, please tell me what a gem he was. How good he was to you and how he supported you when you were diagnosed.” Sarcasm laced the anger in his tone and it was then I realized Death had a bit of a temper. “I know all I need to know about him. When it’s time for his passage, I will relish his parting. Trust me- it will not be pleasant. To be fair, since I baited you, rest assured my relationship with Nina is nothing to concern yourself with. She is a 57-year-old woman who I have worked with since her induction into her career. She has a lovely life partner who compliments her perfectly, and they are quite happy. There isn’t, and never will be, anything other than a professional relationship between the two of us. She is compensated quite well for the job she does for me, and that is the extent of it.”