by L M Krier
Yet again Ted arrived home late, finding his appetite had all but deserted him and all he really wanted to do was to sleep.
'You need to eat something,' Trev told him anxiously. 'You are losing weight, you know, and you haven't got it to lose. Try to eat a bit at least.'
Ted did his best. The food was delicious, as usual. He just couldn't get over the fact that he felt he was in part to blame for Jenny Holden's death. He should have seen that she was fragile, should somehow have realised what her likely reaction would be to the news of how Kenny Norman had ended his days.
He put his knife and fork down apologetically, with less than half of his plate cleared.
'It's good, it really is, I've just gone past the point of being hungry. Sorry. It was a particularly tough one tonight. Someone I'd been talking to only this morning, who went on to hang themselves this afternoon.'
Wordlessly, Trev moved closer and hugged him. Ted appreciated the warmth of the spontaneous gesture, so typical of his partner. But somehow, the way he was currently feeling, even one of Trev's hugs wasn't making him feel much better.
It was another night when what sleep he did manage to snatch was fitful, his dreams troubled, disturbed by overwhelming feelings of guilt. He kept waking with his heart racing, asking himself over and over if he could have handled things differently. If somehow he should have acted in a way which would have prevented a young woman ending up dead by her own hand. He was also worried at the prospect of telling the Ice Queen of the latest development, and how she would react to the news.
Another early start. Another hastily-eaten round of toast. He knew Trev was right. His belt was already fastening a notch tighter than it had before and was starting to feel loose again. He promised himself that if he could only make some sort of progress on the latest case, he'd take Trev away somewhere nice for a weekend. Somewhere simple, which wouldn't cost a lot, as he was keeping an even closer eye than usual on his finances. Just a little B&B, with some good hill walking and delicious food nearby. It was what they both needed.
The Ice Queen was also in early. All credit to her, Ted thought, she led by example. He knew some bosses who rolled in when they felt like it and spent their time navel-gazing and pushing paperwork. But she always put in a full day to match that of any officer under her command. He gave her just enough time to get her coffee machine on the go before he knocked on her door.
'A suspicious death last night, I hear,' she began, sorting out mugs, nodding at Ted to sit down.
Hesitantly at first, he began to tell her everything he knew leading up to, and including the death of Jenny Holden the previous day. She served coffee as he did so, then sat down opposite him, her expression reflective.
'I see,' she said in a neutral tone. 'A tragic and most unfortunate incident. I imagine that, as one of the last people to see her alive, you may well be called to give evidence at the inquest. You'd better prepare your notes on your conversation with her. Was someone with you at the time?'
'Yes, ma'am, DC Vine sat in on the conversation.'
'Very good. Get her to prepare her own account of what was said and let me have both copies by the end of today, without fail. I need hardly add that the two of you should not discuss the matter at all.'
They both paused to drink some of the coffee. As usual, it was excellent and Ted was grateful for the warmth and the sweetness of it, as he'd added extra sugar, feeling the need of a boost. It was some small degree of comfort.
He had groaned inwardly when the Ice Queen mentioned the inquest. He had realised, of course, that he would almost certainly be called as a witness. But the coroner was by no means his biggest fan. He was a dry as a stick solicitor who liked everything to be done to the letter. He disapproved of Ted's relaxed style in everything. Even the Ice Queen's insistence that Ted wear formal suits instead of his preferred smart casual soft chinos had not altered the coroner's opinion. Ted had strong suspicions that he disapproved of his sexuality, as much as anything.
'I want to state at the outset that you have my full support. But we do now need to talk damage limitation. It's essential that you are entirely frank with me at this stage, so that I know what we are dealing with. Can you assure me once more that you said nothing at all to the local reporter which set this unfortunate series of events in motion?'
Ted swallowed more coffee before he formulated his response. 'I said absolutely nothing at all to him.'
'I'm sensing a but? I hope you know by now that you can trust me. But I do need to know the full facts in order to manage the situation.'
'I met Pocket Billiards in The Grapes, to give him the press release about Jenny Holden's historical allegations, as we discussed. It's just possible that, when I went to the bar to order food, he may have seen a book which I was reading. A book by Heather Cooper, about some of her cases involving hypnosis, which mentioned Jenny Holden's case, though not her name.'
'I see,' she said again. 'Anything else?'
'It's also possible that he may have picked up one of the leaflets I collected when I visited Ms Cooper. The ones where she was offering a cure for young people with mistaken ideas about their sexuality. Her words, definitely not mine.'
They both paused for more coffee. Wordlessly, the Ice Queen stood up to refill their cups. That usually signalled that they were in for a long session.
'So, just to recap, the reporter may have seen that you were reading a certain book, which is on sale to the general public, which was written by Ms Cooper? And he may possibly have picked up one of her own leaflets, which she presumably made freely available to anyone? But you had no form of discussion on any of it?'
Ted shook his head. 'None at all. The only other thing was that on another occasion he asked me where he could find people like me to talk to. Again, his words. Meaning, he told me, gay people. So I suggested he went to Canal Street. That's as far as it went.'
'So Jenny Holden only found out, when his articles broke, that her memory may have been a false one? And that it may have come about in her sessions with someone she discovered through the article had lied about her qualifications? At what point did she learn what had happened to the unfortunate Mr Norman?'
'When she came to see me yesterday, she was devastated to have learned that her allegations were definitely false. She said, and I accepted, that she firmly believed they were true. She was desperate to try to put things right. Clearly, I couldn't tell her what had happened to Kenny Norman, but she needed answers.
'She knew where he used to live, of course, although she had never been near. She told me that it was a condition of her release from prison that she stay away from the family. She said she would go round there. I try to dissuade her but she was determined. I phoned Miss Norman to let her know. She said she might tell Jenny the truth, and tell her that she and her brother had forgiven her, hoping it might bring her some peace of mind.
'I suspect I may have mishandled the situation. I should perhaps have done more.'
The Ice Queen drank her coffee as she looked at him thoughtfully.
'I think, Inspector, that sometimes you are inclined to take things rather too personally, too much to heart. It is a good quality, up to the point where it starts to affect your judgement. From what you have told me, and I see no reason to doubt your word, I cannot see how you could have handled this any differently.
'Heather Cooper was extremely convincing, certainly when I spoke to her, at length. We will need now to carry out a full investigation of the work she was doing and whether or not she was properly qualified to carry out any of it. This is not an investigation which you will take any part in, for obvious reasons.
'Knowing you, I assume you checked at the time of your unfortunate encounter with her that the so-called treatment she was offering was not illegal in any way?' When Ted nodded without speaking, she continued, 'Then we will need to carry out an in-depth examination of everything else she did, and there may well be a prosecution to arise out of it all.
'Concerning your discussion with Ms Holden and the later tragic event, subject to seeing notes from you and DC Vine, I cannot at this moment see how you are culpable in any way. If it's of any consolation to you, I suspect I might have handled matters in a very similar way myself.
'My advice to you would be to forget about this for the time being and concentrate on the ongoing enquiry. Try not to let it prey on your mind. And thank you for your honesty.'
For some reason her words brought Ted close to tears. He excused himself hurriedly and took himself off to the gents. He was not yet ready to face his team for the morning briefing. He decided instead to text Mike Hallam, asking him to start without him.
It was easy for the Ice Queen to tell him to forget about it. As far as he was concerned, Ted had the death of a vulnerable young woman on his conscience.
The only thing he could do for now was to get his head down and work even harder on his current case. If he could at least start to see a result in that, it may possibly allow him to feel slightly less guilty.
Chapter Twenty-two
Trev was surprised to get an early evening phone call from Maurice Brown. He knew and got on with all of Ted's team, but he was not particularly close to Maurice and hadn't given him his mobile number, as far as he could remember. Maurice must have got it from Sal.
'Trev, it's Maurice. Is the boss there?'
'He's not back from work yet, Maurice,' Trev told him. 'Have you tried his mobile?'
There was a pause, then Maurice said carefully, 'He's not been in work all day. We haven't heard anything from him and his mobile seems to be switched off.'
Again the hesitation, then, 'I'm a bit worried about him, to be honest, Trev. He doesn't seem himself. He was like a zombie all day yesterday. Hardly said two words to anyone and the ones he did say were grumpy. Not like him at all. He's been like that a few days now, ever since that young woman hanged herself.'
Trev felt his stomach tightening with anxiety, hearing Maurice voice exactly what he had been feeling.
'This case is really getting to him, I know. He's not been sleeping or eating very well. Then we had a bit of a scare with my sister recently. She's always going AWOL from school, apparently, and a young girl turned up murdered in the same area, which shook us both a bit. And you know what he's like, Maurice, he just shuts down sometimes, even with me. Are you sure he's not just gone off following a lead by himself?'
'I'm not trying to scare you, Trev, but I really am worried about him. It's not at all like him to be out of touch with the team. We usually get a text if nothing else. Have you any idea where he might have gone? Somewhere he might go just to give himself some space, do some thinking? I know it's only been today but he's been pretty low at work for a while.'
'He's been the same at home,' Trev admitted, starting to get seriously worried now. He'd always thought of Maurice as not particularly sensitive. If even he had noticed it, then things were clearly not right.
'I'm not much good at a lot of stuff but I'm a good dad, and I know when someone is hurting,' Maurice said, as if reading his thoughts. 'And the boss is hurting, more than he's letting on to anyone, maybe even to you. I just wonder if we should go and look for him?'
Trev noticed the 'we' and felt grateful that Maurice obviously cared so much.
'I know a few places he might go. The car's not here, so he's out somewhere. Just hang on a sec, Maurice, let me see if he's gone out in his work clothes.'
Trev sprinted up the stairs to the bedroom, keeping the call connected. Ted's work suits were still hanging in the wardrobe, with his trench coat and smart shoes, but his hill-walking fleece jacket was missing and so were his walking boots. Ted had, as usual, left quietly before Trev was even awake, so he'd been unaware that he had not gone out dressed for work.
'Maurice? He's gone out in his walking gear, so I have some idea of where he might have gone. I'll take the bike and see if I can find him. Can you keep trying his mobile, let me know if you track him down?'
Trev could see that Ted had not even taken any equipment with him. His rucksack, even his day pack, were both still in the wardrobe, and his good waterproof was hanging there. Wherever he was, he was going to be wet and cold if he was outside somewhere, with what the weather was like out there.
'Trev, I'm coming with you. I'll be there in ten minutes.'
'I'll be quicker on my own, Maurice, honestly …' Trev started to protest.
'We'll go in my car. When we do find the boss, and his car, you're going to need to drive him home, make sure he's all right, and you won't want to leave the bike in the middle of nowhere. I'm on my way.'
'You'll need walking boots, and outdoor gear,' Trev warned him. 'And a torch.'
'I've got no proper boots, but I'll manage. It's not the north face of the Eiger and this is the boss we're talking about.'
His words made tears spring to Trev's eyes as he ended the call. He tried Ted's mobile himself but it went straight to voicemail. As Maurice had said, it seemed as if it was switched off.
He kept thinking that Ted would walk through the door at any minute, laughing at him and Maurice for worrying like a pair of old mother hens. He didn't really believe it, though. He quickly checked that his own rucksack had everything he needed – fresh water, first aid kit, an extra fleece, space blanket, Ted's waterproof, some high-energy bars. He just had time to fill a flask of Ted's green tea with honey when he heard Maurice's car pull up outside. He pulled his boots on and hurried out to meet him, climbing into the passenger seat and throwing the rucksack into the back.
'I think the rape victim getting killed, near to Christmas, has really got to him, Trev. It brought it all back, you know, what happened last year. With Tina. And then that poor woman hanging herself, not long after she'd been talking to him. But I've been worried about him for a good few days now.
'We need to start off with where he and I went last year, after it happened. After Tina was killed,' Trev told him, directing Maurice out towards Marple Ridge.
There was no sign of Ted's car there, near the track where they had walked and eaten fish and chips for comfort food, so Trev continued, 'Saddleworth next, then. It's where he sometimes goes when he's brooding over a difficult case.'
There was no sign of Ted's Renault there, either, in any of the parking places he usually used. When he was struggling with a case, Ted would sometimes visit the scene of the infamous Moors Murders, to help focus his thoughts. Trev tried his mobile again, with the same result.
'He's probably sitting at home by now, wondering where I've gone,' Trev said, trying to make light of it.
Maurice looked at him seriously as he said, 'I think we both know he isn't, Trev. Right, so where next?'
Trev got back into the car next to Maurice once more. 'Where we should probably have gone straight away,' he said, as they drove off, Maurice following his directions.
Ted's was the only car in the otherwise deserted car park near to Hayfield. It was getting late, it was dark and cold, and an incessant drizzle was making it feel even colder.
'Are you sure you don't want to wait in a pub somewhere down here, Maurice?' Trev asked him, pulling on a fleece hat and slipping his head torch over it. 'This is a good walk even in the daylight on a sunny day, if you're not much of a walker. It's not going to be a picnic in the dark, in this weather.'
'You're going to need help when you find the boss. I'm not up to much in the hills, but I'm the best you've got at the moment. And I'm first aid trained, at least, in case there's any call for that,' Maurice told him. 'So let's save our breath for walking, shall we?'
He took a Maglite out of his pocket, falling into step beside Trev, as they headed up towards Kinder Downfall.
Trev hadn't been joking when he'd said it was not going to be an easy walk for Maurice, ill-equipped and inexperienced as he was. It wasn't long before he was grumbling at every step.
'Why can't the boss just go out and get pissed, like any normal copper would in the circumstances?'
Trev paused a moment to let Maurice get his breath back, and to take off his shoes to adjust his socks, which had slipped down below his heels.
'Because he doesn't touch the stuff. Because his father was an alcoholic,' Trev replied patiently, with just a hint of reproach in his tone.
'Yeah, sorry, Trev, I forgot. Shall we go on?'
'We have no choice. If I were you, I'd save your breath for walking. We still have quite a way to go, and we've got the steepest part of the route in front of us.'
They could both hear Ted long before they came in sight of him, even above the noise of the waterfall and the sound of Maurice's increasingly laboured breathing. The night was inky black up here, visibility reduced by the cold, driving rain which was being blown sideways by a strong wind. From the rocks up above them, they could hear Ted's good tenor voice singing clearly. But like a tape on a loop, it was just a fragment of a song, sung over and over again.
'What the hell?' Maurice asked, between rough, rasping breaths.
'Bohemian Rhapsody,' Trev told him tersely, 'the bit leading up to 'I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all',' he added, as he peered anxiously upwards through the enveloping dark, waiting impatiently for Maurice to recover enough breath to continue.
'Go on, Trev, don't wait for me. Get up there, for God's sake, before he does something stupid.'
Trev was desperate to do as Maurice said. But he was also an experienced hill walker, too much so to leave anyone as inexperienced and badly equipped as Maurice to struggle on alone in the darkness. And he knew Ted would skin him alive if he let anything happen to one of his precious team members. Ted would be all right, Trev told himself repeatedly, as long as he just kept on singing.
'I'm coming, Ted, hang on in there,' he said under his breath, grabbing Maurice's arm and half-hauling him up the last few metres of the stiff climb, trying to close his ears every time Ted got to the line, 'Goodbye, everybody, I've got to go.'