by TJ Nichols
THE BAY was empty of boats. Edra didn’t know if that was because of yesterday’s ban or people’s fear as the usual journalists whipped up anxiety the way mermen whipped up storms. While everything in the paper was true—mermaids were killers without conscience and remorse—that didn’t make them bad. They just were, and humans had to learn to live with that. They didn’t kill all the sharks just because they bit a few people, though sometimes it appeared that they’d like to.
He circled over the island and waited for Mistress Selena to give him permission to land. He didn’t want to land on one of the smaller rocks where he could be grabbed and dragged in. His fear of mermaids had edged up a notch since he was dragged under.
Selena crawled out of the water and up onto the island like a scrawny seal. It was a good thing they didn’t have legs, otherwise they’d be able to hunt on land as well, and that was nightmare material, not a child’s story. When she was away from the water’s edge, she beckoned him down.
Mermaids bobbed in the water, their pale eyes watching him.
Was one of them Andrew’s killer, or had Selena done that?
She patted the ground, and he landed and shifted but sat a polite distance away.
“The mayor thanks you for the storm. It was well targeted and a good strength.” He didn’t want to promise treasure because he wasn’t sure it would be coming. But it had better be if the mayor thought the merfolk would put out every bushfire. The concrete was warm against his butt, but the breeze was still too cool for lying on rocks and soaking up the sun—which he was best off doing as a dragon, so he didn’t burn all the wrong parts of himself. He’d done that once, and that had been lesson learned.
“Thank you. I will make sure the praise reaches them.”
“You also did a good job for the satyrs, taking that man.”
Selene ran her fingers through her gray hair and plucked out bits of seaweed and a dead fish. “I am told he was very nice. He went to the deep. The men are nesting and need feeding.”
The eggs would be glued to the men’s bodies until it came time to hatch. It made them very ungainly, but the mermen didn’t have to do much more than raise young in the deep while the mermaids hunted.
“Congratulations. Do you expect young this year?”
“Yes.” She smiled, all sharp teeth. “You?”
“No. Though I am relieved the dragon eggs were returned. I hope they hatch.”
Selena’s lips stretched. “That was not a fair love trial. They should not impact another like that. I have made that clear.”
Edra nodded. “Thank you.” It was always best to be extremely polite when dealing with mermaids. He’d had enough of them to last him the rest of his life, but he doubted this would be the final time he ever dealt with them. “I have a concern, though.”
She turned her head, and her hands stilled from combing out her hair. “What, knight?”
The scratch of her voice made his skin go cold. He drew in a breath, but silver was blooming on his skin. No amount of calm breathing was going to get that under control.
“Some of the treasures that have been taken for the love trial have been sold to humans.” Explaining computers to a mermaid would be like explaining chastity to a male satyr.
“What do you mean?”
“Where is the vampire mirror and the elvish armor now? I know Narv, the water dragon, took them for his lady love, but I have seen them sold.”
“Impossible.” But she didn’t sound as sure. The pitch of her voice had dropped.
“I am just warning you that perhaps someone is not abiding by your rules.”
“You want a name.”
“A name would be nice, but I know that you will deal with this issue. Stealing from mythos to sell to humans is wrong.”
“I do not like them stealing from mythos at all, not anymore.” She stared at him, her eyes like moons. “We are not the enemy.”
“I know. And I know you are an excellent Mistress to your pod.” He could at least talk with her, not like her predecessor. Something good had come out of the collapse. “So I am warning you that the humans are scared right now. Narv sank two boats. And someone lured a human in a black suit into the water. They are scared to take their boats out.”
She looked at the mermaids bobbing in the water. “Ireni has been courting the water dragon.”
To him all the mermaids looked pale and flat faced, but their markings underwater would be different. He’d never forget the way the one who’d grabbed him had looked. “She’s the one who tried to drown me?”
“That was her sister.”
“Where does Narv hang out when not here?”
“What will you do to him?”
“He stole dragon young.” He knew Jordan wanted to talk with Narv, but as soon as he was out of custody, he’d vanish. There was only one punishment.
Selena nodded. “I would do the same if someone took our young. I will deal with Ireni.”
“I don’t want her to warn Narv, so please do not rush.”
“Three nights. Narv plays near the shipyard.”
“Thank you.” Edra got up, stepped back, shifted, and launched, all in the same breath, unable to hide his desire to get away from the stink of death and fish.
But as he looped over the heads of the mermaids, he wondered if the love trials were such a bad thing. There was no stumbling into a relationship blind.
Chapter 20
THE WALK up the street to Jordan’s building was too familiar, but it filled Edra with dread. He wasn’t a mermaid, he didn’t need Jordan to prove himself, and yet he did. For him this was the rest of his life. Choosing the right person mattered more to him than it did to humans.
While Jordan might be his last chance, Edra didn’t want it if Jordan was only halfway committed. It would be better to be alone. He’d be free to fuck whoever he wanted, instead of being in this tangled mess.
Sinner ran down the steps to greet him. She butted against his legs, being friendly even as she tried to trip him. Half a sausage and they were friends. He bent to give her a scratch. “Is Jordan upstairs? Do you think he’ll let me in?”
Sinner looked him in the eye and meowed. For a moment Edra was sure that she knew exactly what he was asking. She rubbed her head against his hand and meowed again. Had anyone ever tried to learn cat?
Edra straightened. “Come on, then.”
The cat raced him to the steps and then stopped and ran back down them toward the man walking up the street—Jordan. His T-shirt was glued to his chest, and his running shorts gave Edra a nice view of his legs. He could smell the sweat and hear Jordan’s frantic heartbeat as he got closer. Usually it only beat that fast on Bliss.
“Using the door today.” Jordan pulled the key out of his pocket, but there was a twitch in his hand, and it took two tries for him to get the key in.
“I thought it might be best.” He probably shouldn’t have turned up on Jordan’s balcony, but the storm had been fun, and he’d wanted to share it with him. That idea had soured fast. It was time to end this painful dance or step onto a road that neither of them had traveled before.
He followed Jordan upstairs, and the cat did her best to trip and kill them both. She failed but seemed happy anyway.
The apartment was tidy as usual, and the tea from the Strega was on the bench and unopened. Edra’s heart dropped, weighed down by disappointment. Jordan put his key down and had a drink of water.
“How was the tea?”
“Don’t know. It smells awful, and I don’t know what’s in it.”
Right. There was that split in the earth that he didn’t think he’d be able to bridge. “If the Strega wanted you dead, she’d have done it already.”
“There are worse things than death.” He put the glass down. “Why are you here? I thought after last time….” He couldn’t even look Edra in the eye.
“I left rather dramatically.” He paused, not quite sure how to say what he needed to. “This… it’s not working.�
��
Jordan stared at the floor and nodded. “I went out when you left. I wanted to know if I was affected.”
Edra pressed his lips together. He didn’t want to hear what Jordan said next, but he had to. “And?”
He wanted Jordan to say he’d felt nothing.
“And I found someone to ride my dick. I was hard and wanting it… but then I didn’t know if it was Bliss cravings making the demands. I’ve never been a cheater. So I didn’t.” He held out an unsteady hand. “This gets worse with each passing day.”
“You need to drink the tea.”
“Don’t tell me what I need. I know.”
Edra pulled what was left of the Bliss out of his pocket. “This is all I have left. I’m not getting more from the den.” He lifted his hand when Jordan opened his mouth. “It’s not good for you. It hasn’t been good for us.”
Jordan closed his eyes. His heart was still fast, and he smelled like something that should be licked all over. But there would be no licking, not today.
Maybe never.
“Is this the ultimatum? Me or the drugs? You know how addicts respond to that, don’t you?” He picked up the bag. “I know you’re trying to wean me off it. But I want it. I want to get laid so badly. You have no idea what it’s like.”
“Really? I’ve been waiting for you to pull yourself together and start acting like someone who wants a mate.”
“Maybe I don’t.” Jordan’s lips were turned down. “We haven’t done blood tests…. How do I know you aren’t harboring some mytho STD?”
“I don’t even know what an STD is.”
“Sexually transmitted disease.”
“I’m fine. I don’t need to see a vampire and get bitten.”
“What?”
“They can taste sickness. Ogres supply the medicine.”
Jordan shook his head. “That doesn’t even make sense. You need to go to a clinic and get blood taken.”
“So they can test for human STDs. I don’t have them because I haven’t slept with any humans. I’ll get bitten if that’s what you really want.”
“Maybe this isn’t supposed to be. That we’re even in the same world was an accident. I hardly know you. I didn’t even know you went to vampires for blood tests.”
That “accident” was made by humans who had no interest in cleaning up. They wanted everyone to move on, and he was trying. He was trying so bloody hard, and it wasn’t getting any easier. “We’re getting to know each other. That’s what this is. It can take months. It’s supposed to be fun.”
“Well it’s not. I want to fuck you so bad it hurts.”
“That’s the Bliss craving, not anything to do with me. You should’ve fucked that other man. Found a few of them until you burned your blood clean.”
“That’s your solution to my addiction? You could shed your clothes and bend over the kitchen counter.”
If the words hadn’t been spoken with such an edge, it would’ve been a tempting offer.
“I could tell you to do the same.”
Jordan shook his head. “I don’t do that. See… not going to work if you like to flip-flop around in bed. Besides, I’m sure satyrs fuck better than any human.”
“You want to go through my dating history? I was mated… married… for thirty-three years. You aren’t even that old. I’ve let a vampire bite me, and I’ve screwed an ogress silly—we’re still friends, by the way. I like going to the den because there is no pretense when mythos go out back. We want to drink and fuck. I’ve lost count, if you want a number. But I’m so tired of that. I wanted someone in my bed and at my back.” I wanted you. But he couldn’t say it. “Is there anything else you want to know? Did you want to share your lovers? Do I need one hand or two?”
“Fifteen if I don’t count random hand jobs.”
Such a fucking hatchling. “That’s all?”
“What? I had some long-term relationships in there.”
“Define long.” Edra crossed his arms.
“More than a year. I hate one-night stands. It’s why I started using. I should be able to stop, but I like it.” He scrubbed his hand over his face. “I’m no better than the junkies sitting in the park shooting up.” He opened the bag of Bliss and gave the powder a sniff. His eyes closed and he almost smiled. “I just like to pretend I am.”
Edra wanted to tear the bag out of his hands. It wasn’t Bliss his body wanted. It was something real. Edra could be that something. His body was sure. The only reason he hesitated was because Jordan was human, and no matter what the Strega said, Edra couldn’t see how it would work. “We can’t keep doing this. Either you want to quit and give this a decent try or not.”
The Strega’s words echoed. Jordan was the right man, so maybe their timing was wrong… but it didn’t feel wrong.
“I know. I’m wasting your time.”
“You aren’t wasting my time.”
“But you’re mytho, and I’m a cop, and I don’t know how I ever thought it was going to work. You were right. If I can’t even tell my friends the truth, what is the point? I’ll make it easy.” He tipped the powder into his mouth, held it for a moment, and then swallowed.
Edra’s stomach sank and dragged his heart with it, all the way to the bottom, where there was no light, only the glow of mermaids as they came to devour their prize.
Jordan exhaled. “No more waiting for me to be something I’m not… something I can’t be.” He stripped off his T-shirt as he walked toward the sofa and flopped down as though he were already boneless. “You don’t have to stay. I’ve done this enough to know I’ll be fine… better than fine.”
His dick was already hardening, pressing against his shorts. Edra pulled over a dining chair and sat where he could see Jordan, but not touch, because he was a total masochist. “I’m not doing this for you.”
“Of course not. Got to keep the mythos safe.” Jordan’s hand trailed down his body and slid into his shorts.
Edra closed his eyes. “I’m going to put the word out for no satyr to sell to you.”
“This need was never a problem before you came along.”
“That’s selkie shit, and you know it. You were needing it more often, wanting more than just to Bliss. You could lose your job.”
Jordan’s gaze locked with his. “I can get another one. I could visit the den for more than Bliss.”
“No one will serve you even a glass of water in a mytho-run establishment.” He wouldn’t let Jordan take down the den with him.
“You’ll blacklist me for blue-balling you?” He groaned and tipped his head back. “Shut up and let me enjoy.”
Jordan’s skin flushed, and his hand worked his length beneath his shorts. His body needed more than the rush of Bliss. Bliss had driven him to the edge of more, and he wasn’t getting it.
Where Edra had thought Jordan beautiful the night he’d first seen him Blissed out in the den, this version was bitter and ugly, as though he knew the truth but couldn’t face it. Not even a vampire mirror would be able to help if Jordan refused to open his eyes.
Edra didn’t want to see Jordan hit bottom and be too broken to get up. He stood and kissed Jordan on the cheek. His lips lingered for a moment, and Jordan turned his head for a taste. He wanted to give in. They could fix this after…. But there was nothing to fix. Jordan was right about so many things. He’d been a fool to think it could work. The Strega’s words were as hollow as old bones. There was no happiness to be found here, no mate. Edra pulled back.
Jordan had chosen the empty lust of Bliss.
Sinner mewed as though pleading with Edra not to leave. He shut the door on her cries and Jordan’s moans. For several breaths he leaned against the door. It hurt to breathe.
His last chance was gone.
He cursed the Strega for making him hope. Then he cursed his biology for wanting a man, a human, who was so unsuitable in every way. Finally he cursed himself for not just taking when Jordan was offering and dealing with the fallout later. But Jordan wo
uld rip his heart out of his chest and not even realize it.
It was better this way.
Edra peeled himself off the wall.
He’d go north to the rookery. Fuck the humans and their rules. And the mythos? His people? The ones he’d sworn to protect? He was fracturing, and great crevasses were opening up as his world, the one he’d made for himself, was destroyed.
THE WALK to the temple hadn’t improved Edra’s mood or healed any wounds. He’d relived every fight he’d had with Lyo. It hadn’t been perfect—nothing ever was—but they made it work. Before Lyo he almost mated with a satyr, but he decided that he didn’t want to share his mate with so many. Nor had he liked the satyr’s temper, even though he admired his fighting skills—which was how they met.
He didn’t need to be mated to a satyr to get satyr dick whenever he wanted. But he hadn’t even wanted that, not for weeks. All he wanted was Jordan. Jordan had broken him and sucked him under, and he’d been happily drowning.
The temple was deserted, and the fire burned in the center, making the columns seem more lifelike. As much as he’d like to sit and bask in the heat, he turned toward the dragon nest and clicked a greeting.
The female called him over. She cooed as though he were a hatchling, knowing that something was wrong even if he didn’t have the words in dragon to explain.
He leaned against her great, hot bulk, and she rested her head against him. “I don’t think I can stay here,” he said in words she couldn’t understand. “The man I thought was my mate doesn’t want me.” He should never have trusted a human. He knew better; he’d thought Jordan was better—different. He sniffed, his eyes hot. This didn’t hurt as much as the collapse, but it was fresh pain. His scaly skin had peeled back to expose his delicate insides. He clicked in dragon, “I don’t know what to do.”
“Come and listen to the eggs,” the male said.
The female gave him a nudge, and Edra climbed up into the nest. The male made room under his wing—though if he moved and crushed him by accident, Edra wouldn’t care either. Death by dragon seemed like a kind way to go. He rested his cheek against the egg and listened. His fingers traced the smooth line of superglue. Beneath the misery of his own heart was something else—the little dragon inside was waking and stretching. He moved to one of the other eggs that had been stolen. There was noise in there too. For a while he just hugged the eggs while the dragons clicked and whistled, speaking over his head.