Carnal (Se7en Deadly SEALs Book 4)

by Alana Albertson

  Carnal

  Se7en Deadly SEALs Episode 3

  Alana Albertson

  Contents

  SINopsis

  1. Mia

  2. Grant

  3. Mia

  4. Grant

  5. Mia

  6. Grant

  7. Mia

  8. Grant

  9. Mia

  10. Grant

  11. Mia

  12. Grant

  13. Mia

  Crave

  Author’s Note

  About the Author

  Also by Alana Albertson

  Acknowledgments

  Carnal

  The Se7en Deadly SEALs Series

  Episode Four

  Copyright © 2016 by Alana Albertson.

  Cover Designer: Regina Wamba of Mae I Design

  Cover Models: Callan Newton and Dani Cooper

  Interior design and formatting by JT Formatting (http://www.facebook.com/JTFormatting)

  Ebook ISBN: 978-1-941665-79-4

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, write to the publisher, addressed “Attention: Permissions Coordinator,” at the address below.

  Bolero Books, LLC

  11956 Bernardo Plaza Dr. #510

  San Diego, CA 92128

  www.bolerobooks.com

  Publisher’s Note: This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are a product of the author’s imagination. Locales and public names are sometimes used for atmospheric purposes. Any resemblance to actual people, living or dead, or to businesses, companies, events, institutions, or locales is completely coincidental.

  This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to your favorite ebook retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

  Copyright © 2016 by Alana Albertson

  All rights reserved.

  No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

  ISBN: 978-1-941665-79-4

  Created with Vellum

  This book is dedicated to all my fans who have embraced this series. I love you all!

  Carnal: Lust’s passion will be served; it demands, it militates, it tyrannizes.

  Marquis de Sade

  Carnal

  Se7en Deadly SEALs can’t save me now

  6ix months I’ve wasted only to have my secret discovered

  5ive days since I met the little boy I can’t stop thinking about

  4our minutes I’ve sat in silence since I learned my gig was up

  Thre3 times I’ve seen my brother behind bars

  2wo years since I said goodbye to my baby

  1ne amazing night of ecstasy with my soul mate

  Zer0 idea what Grant will do to me now that he knows I lied

  After years apart, Grant and I finally made love again. It was intoxicating, the perfect blend of pleasure and passion. But now that he knows my secret, I’m at his mercy. I’m addicted to him—I didn’t anticipate the bond between us to be so carnal.

  1

  Mia

  Mia? Did he just call me Mia?

  Oh, fuck.

  I trembled but remained speechless in Grant’s grasp. His fingers tightened around my jaw, bringing the realization that I was naked and in bed with a very angry SEAL who knew how to kill me three hundred different ways into sharp clarity.

  He finally released me, and I let out a gasp. His brow scrunched, his face flushed red, and a vein bulged in his neck. The look on his face was pure disgust.

  What the hell was I going to do now?

  “Say something, dammit. And don’t you fucking lie to me again.”

  I bit my lip. “How did you know?”

  His eyes bugged out. “How did I know? That’s all you ask me? You’re fucking unbelievable. How about ‘I’m sorry I lied to you, Grant. I’m sorry I’ve been fucking with your mind. I’m sorry that you fell in love with a psychopath.’”

  Yup. I was dead. Like actually dead. No one would ever find my body, and technically, I didn’t exist. Mia Cruz had vanished, and he could erase Ksenya Pavlova in an instant. I had to do something, and the only weapon I had was my body.

  I attempted to touch him, but he shoved my hand away.

  “Don’t fucking touch me, Mia.” Hearing him openly call me Mia was jarring. “Listen, I’m only going to say this once. You’re going to start answering my questions now. If you lie to me again, I’ll punish you. From now on, I’m in charge. Do you fucking hear me?”

  I hopped off the bed, stood at attention, and saluted him, knowing full well that I was buck ass naked. “Yes, Instructor Carrion.” Of course he was pissed and had every right to be, but he was still being a jackass.

  He flashed his teeth at me like a rabid dog. “Stop being a smartass. What the fuck were you thinking? Did you think you could fool me?”

  I hesitated. I honestly thought I could. I wouldn’t have gone through everything I did if I didn’t think it would work, but I didn’t want to insult him any more than I already had. “No, of course not,” I lied. He gave me a disbelieving glare, so I explained, “Not forever. I mean, I hoped I could go undercover at the strip club and find out more about Tiffany and free Joaquín. But I knew that you would figure it out eventually.”

  “And you just decided to use me in the process?”

  “Come on, Grant. You were using me just as much.”

  “No, I was using a stripper who threw herself at me.”

  Ouch. That hurt more than I would admit, but I shook it off.

  “Yeah? Is that what you’re telling yourself? How long have you known that I was me and not Ksenya?” He just glared at me, and I backpedaled. “When Joaquín was first arrested, I came to you and begged for help, but you shut me out. Then, one of the strippers told me that you were the one who had invited the girls to the party. So, yeah, I wanted to find out what you knew and if you were hiding anything from me. I wanted to get closer to the rest of the SEALs to learn more about that night. I suspected Mitch and Paul, but not you. Never you.”

  “Whatever.”

  He pulled on his boxers, and I took his cue and hastily put on my panties and one of his T-shirts. This was not how I wanted to spend the time after the most amazing sex of my life, but it was better than him offing me and disposing of my body, so I rolled with it.

  “What kind of surgery did you get? Where did you get the money?”

  I felt like I was a teenager confessing my dirty thoughts to my priest as pointed to each part as I listed them. “Breast implants, a nose job, a chin implant, lip and cheek fillers, lasers for my freckles, and Botox for my eyebrows. As for the money, I used what Joaquín left me before he was arrested.”

  “You were beautiful, perfect. Why did you ruin your face? You’re insane, you realize that, right? This goes beyond you trying to free Joaquín.”

  “No, I’m not insane. I love Joaquín. I would do anything to free him. He’s all I hav
e.”

  He paused for a second, and I hoped that maybe he would tell me what he told me earlier this evening.

  “You’re wrong, baby—you have me.”

  One look in his eyes as he sat down on the bed and I knew the truth. He’d only said that to get between my legs.

  And I’d fallen for it.

  “What if he gets convicted? Then you did this for nothing. You will definitely have no one—not even yourself.”

  “I guess I won’t.” I wiped away a tear. We fell into a silence, each of us lost in our own thoughts. When I couldn’t take it anymore, I turned to him. “You never told me when you figured it out.”

  “I suspected the first night you came home with me. The way Hero reacted to you first set me off. I thought I was crazy at first, but then I paid attention and it was all the little things that gave you away. The way you bite your lip when you lie, the way you taste, the way you smell, the way you touch me.”

  My heart ached. “I touch you like that because I love you. Can’t you see that?”

  “What you think you feel for me isn’t love. It’s something darker. What you have for Joaquín is love.” He stood and turned to face me. “Now, tell me about your baby. Were you lying to me earlier tonight? Where is he? Is he mine?”

  A lump grew in my throat. The truth. He deserved the truth. At least on this.

  “He’s dead. I told you the truth. He was in the NICU and passed away, but I got an infection from my C-section, so I was in ICU when he died. I never even got to say goodbye. And honest to God, I don’t know if he was yours. I prayed he was, and I loved him even though I didn’t know for sure.”

  “If he lived were you going to tell me?”

  “Yes, of course. I was going to do a DNA test and if he was yours, I would’ve told you. I would never keep my son away from his father, well if he was yours and not the rapist’s.”

  He swallowed and bit his lower lip, as if he were physically stopping himself from saying what he wanted to say. After a moment, he just shook his head and closed the small distance separating us.

  He cupped my face in his hands and forced me to stare at him. “You were fucking raped and didn’t tell me?”

  “I couldn’t tell you! You were deployed! And next I heard you were in the hospital.”

  “You should have told me. Why didn’t you?”

  “God, Grant.” I moved to pull away, but he held me in place, demanding answers with his eyes. “I don’t know. I’d been so stressed with you and Joaquín both deployed, and I just wanted one night to let loose and relax. So, I went to that stupid party with April and Dara and got so wasted. I still don’t know exactly what happened, but I think I was drugged. I woke up sore with my panties around my feet. I didn’t know what to do. Then, I found out you were home. You were injured, but you were home, and suddenly what happened to me didn’t really matter. A month later when I found out I was pregnant, I was so damn ashamed I couldn’t tell you and left instead.”

  Maybe he didn’t believe me. As part of his SEAL training, he had perfected a poker face. I had no idea what he was thinking.

  “How could you have not told me? I would’ve done anything for you. I was about to propose. I would’ve raised your baby no matter who his father was. Didn’t you know how much I loved you?”

  I hadn’t been ready for this. I had practiced answers in my head for questions about my identity a thousand times. I’d spent the past two years burying my emotions deep in a place I couldn’t reach, a place where the memories of my parents lived.

  “No, I didn’t. I knew you loved me but, no matter what you say now, Grant, you would’ve been livid that I’d been raped. It would’ve driven you insane. You would’ve hunted down the guy who did it and tortured him. I couldn’t let you ruin your life over what happened to me. I just wanted to forget it ever happened, and then I couldn’t.”

  He sat back down and placed his head in his hands. “But if I hadn’t deployed, that wouldn’t have happened to you.”

  “That’s ridiculous. It could’ve happened to me walking Hero or on my way to my car. A girl was attacked the other week at dog park. What happened to me wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t anyone’s fault but the person who did it. Unfortunately, I don’t know who that person is.”

  He shook his head, and I placed my hand on his face, attempting to force him to look at me and really see me. Mia, the girl he once loved.

  The girl maybe one day he could love again.

  “I’m sorry, and I love you. I never meant to hurt you—not then, not now. I hope you find it in your heart to forgive me.”

  He pushed my hand off his face. “I will never forgive you for what you did.” He ground his teeth together and took a deep breath. I knew that he was shutting himself down. He got the answers he wanted and now it was back to the cold shoulder I had gotten when I showed up here begging for his help. Something inside me died a bit but I refused to let it show on the outside. I was stronger than that. “Now, it’s your turn to listen to me. I’m in control now. I call the shots. You’re going to do exactly what I say you’re going to do, or I’ll cut your access off to the Team. I’m going to stay with you until Joaquín is either convicted or released. But once his trial is over, I’m done with you. Do you hear me? I’m through. In fact, I never want to see you again. Are we clear?”

  I gulped, my heart literally breaking inside my chest. “Crystal.” I fidgeted on the bed as anxiety pulsed through me. I couldn’t help staring at his naked chest. “Grant, I have one more question.”

  “What?

  “What just happened between us? The incredible sex? That’s over? You don’t want me?”

  He let out a growl. “No, baby. I’m going to fuck you every night, all night, in all the ways I’d always wanted to. But it will only be fucking, because I’ll never love you again.”

  He left the bedroom and slammed the bathroom door.

  I should have expected that. I knew he hated me, I knew he wouldn’t just forgive me because of one night of amazing sex. I had crushed him when I left and, even though he would never admit it, he was crushed because of the baby and that I had lied to him. He had every right to be, too. In his eyes, I was a horrible person.

  I could change that, though.

  I could make him love me again the way I had always loved him. I would help clear Joaquín’s name and I could win back Grant.

  2

  Grant

  I scrubbed her scent from my chest, and my heart pounded, threatening to burst with rage. “How did you know?” What the fuck kind of response was that? It wasn’t a response. It was resignation. It was acceptance. It was her forfeit. She said she didn’t think she would be able to hide what she was doing from me, but there was that look in her eyes. Mia was always like a damn open book to me, and I knew . . . knew by that look she thought I would never find out.

  It was probably the reason she let me fuck her the way I had. It was raw, passionate, and uninhibited, which was exactly how I’d always wanted to fuck her. It was incredible, best I’d ever had.

  And I couldn’t get enough.

  But I had to remind myself that Mia was an actress, apparently an excellent one. I regretted now not taking the time to fully encourage her to pursue her dreams when we were together. She’d supported mine. Mia had been the one to take care of me every night after BUD/S, dress my wounds, rub my feet, and cook me dinner, but I hadn’t attended a single one of her plays.

  Ever.

  I’d had my reasons. I was always training; too focused on my goal of becoming a SEAL. Looking back now, the young and stupid version of me was a selfish ass.

  It was too late now.

  The water beaded down my chest and a memory flooded my head. Of the last night she had been mine.

  Mia stood in the hospital door. My palms were sweating, nervously clutching the small, black velvet box in my hand. I had worked up the strength to finally leave my bed, kneel before her, and ask her to be mine forever.

 
; Her long brown hair shone in the bright lights, and her sundress clung to her body. She looked different than usual. Her breasts seemed fuller, her face rounder, her skin brighter.

  She was glowing.

  “Come here, babe.”

  She gave me a halfhearted smile, and her teeth clamped down on her lip. Why was she acting nervous? My excitement turned to worry. “I . . . Grant, I-I need to tell you something.”

  My gut clenched, but I forced the word out. “What?”

  “I’ve decided to transfer to San Francisco State. They have a better theater program, and I can do shows with A.C.T.” Her voice cracked with emotion. She couldn’t even look me in the eyes.

  She was breaking up with me.

  My hand released that stupid box, a box that contained a ring that was worth three months of my salary including hazard pay that I earned while being shot at by the Taliban.

  “What the fuck? Are you serious right now? You’re breaking up with me?”

  She bit her lip, and I knew she was about to lie to me. “No. Of course not. We can still see each other when I’m in town and you can come visit me.”

  Fucking bitch. My face, neck, and ears burned. “You want a long distance relationship? Wasn’t Afghanistan far enough?”

  Her hair hung over her face like a curtain, shielding her from making eye contact. “I don’t know what to say.”

  “Say what you mean, god dammit. That you’re breaking up with me. Tell me fucking why? Tell me why you think that breaking up with me while I’m in a fucking hospital bed is a great idea, Mia? Fucking look at me!”

  She turned her head and gazed out the hospital window. “Don’t make this harder than it is. I love you; you know that.” Her voice cracked and her throat bobbed. “Every night during your last deployment, I was a worried wreck about you and Joaquín. I constantly lived in fear that you would be killed. You’re injured. You could’ve died. My parents died, and it broke me. I can’t bear to have my boyfriend be killed also. And I’ve never been on my own. I moved here when I was seventeen to live with Joaquín and then I became your girlfriend. I just need some space to find out who I am.”