Please Do Not Feed the Weirdo

by R. L. Stine

A monster at Evergreen Middle School? Impossible!

  A monster who made himself look like Ms. Foreman and then spewed hot vomit all over kids, trashed the classroom, and escaped out the window?

  Just how impossible is that?

  I saw cops scratching their heads. And I heard the murmured protests and cries of horror from the worried parents. Maybe some of them didn’t believe it. But everyone in my class saw it happen.

  The story of the escaped monster was out. Of course, there was one piece of it I didn’t tell. One part I didn’t want anyone to know.

  And that was the part where I was the one who let Robby out. I was the one who let him escape. It was all my fault.

  And while we all know I’m not the bravest person on the planet, I felt like I should be the one to do something to help capture him.

  But what could I do?

  I changed into the clothes Mom brought me in the boys’ room. Then Miss Lyons ushered us into her office. “Sorry you had to come rushing to school,” she told Mom. “It’s been quite a day.”

  “No problem,” Mom answered, taking a seat at the table in Miss Lyons’s back office. “I had to make sure Jordan and Karla were okay.”

  “Everyone is okay,” the principal said. She sighed. “But just barely.”

  Lyons is the perfect name for her. She has a pile of orange-brown hair that looks a lot like a lion’s mane. She’s big and she moves very fast, taking long lion strides. And her dark eyes are wide and round. She looks as if she’s always studying you, looking for prey.

  “This is Officer Hayes,” she said, pointing to a young cop who sat with his back to the window. He nodded in greeting. He had very short blond hair, bright blue eyes the size of marbles in his narrow, pale face, and a thin-lipped, serious expression that seemed to be frozen on his face.

  I glanced out the window behind Officer Hayes. I could see more parents arriving at the parking lot, hurrying from their cars, tense expressions on their faces.

  Mom clasped her hands tightly together on the tabletop. She was biting her lips. She always does that when she’s really stressed.

  She didn’t let Miss Lyons ask a question. She began the conversation. “The monster was in our house,” she said. “He wrecked our entire kitchen.”

  Miss Lyons blinked. “Then you saw him, too?”

  “No,” Mom replied. “He ran off just before my husband and I returned home. Jordan was the only one at home.”

  “Can you describe him, Jordan?” Hayes chimed in. He had an iPad in front of him on the table. He used two fingers to type on it. “It’s a shame no one snapped a photo of him. So I’m asking everyone in your class to describe him.”

  “Well …” I started. “When he’s a monster, he looks kind of like a giant bear. He gets covered in green fur, and he grows big bear paws and a bear snout.”

  Hayes typed on the iPad keyboard.

  “But he usually doesn’t look like a monster,” I explained. “When we saw him at Carnival World, he looked like a boy. About my age. He said his name was Robby.”

  Miss Lyons gasped. Officer Hayes stopped typing and raised his blue eyes at me. “You saw him at Carnival World?”

  I nodded. “He escaped from there. He got out of his cage and ran away. He … he followed us home.”

  “He looked like a boy when he came to your house?” Miss Lyons asked.

  I nodded. “Then when I fed him, he turned into a monster.”

  Hayes jumped to his feet. He grabbed his iPad from the table. “Got to get to Carnival World right away,” he said. “I’ve run into the owner before. His name is Ferber. Maybe Ferber can help us round up this boy or monster or whatever he is.”

  He hurried from the office. Miss Lyons leaned over the tabletop and tapped her fingers on the polished wood. “I have a few more questions,” she said.

  I didn’t hear what she said next. Something outside her office window caught my eye. A blur of movement. The sun was in my eyes and I squinted hard, trying to focus.

  And I screamed when I saw the huge, green-furred monster in the parking lot. “Noooo! Look! Look!” I cried, pointing frantically.

  Miss Lyons twisted in her chair to see where I was pointing. And the three of us stared out the window, mouths open, as the monster went berserk.

  The squeal of metal against metal was deafening as he ripped the driver’s door off a police patrol car. Roaring at the sky, he heaved the door across the parking lot. It crashed against a fence.

  Then the huge creature leaned into the car and, grunting loudly, pulling and twisting, his big fur-covered shoulders rippling, he jerked the front seat out. Pulled it out in both paws and sent it flying over a row of cars.

  “Oh, wow,” I murmured. “It … It’s like a horror movie.”

  Mom and Miss Lyons were on their feet. “The police are searching the back of the building,” Miss Lyons said. “They must not hear what’s going on.”

  And then the monster turned. He narrowed his eyes and peered into the principal’s office window. He stood perfectly still for a long moment, staring at us. Staring. Watching us watching him.

  Then he uttered an animal roar and came striding toward the school building.

  “He—he’s coming for us!” I stammered.

  Her eyes wide with fright, Mom swung away from the table and lurched toward the office door. But her foot caught a chair leg, and she fell to her knees on the carpet.

  Miss Lyons and I froze in place as the creature loomed bigger and bigger in the window. And then it seemed as if the sun had gone out. The room turned black as he blocked all the light.

  I gasped. Was he going to leap into the room? Was he about to attack us?

  No. A huge fist shot into the room, shattering the window with a deafening crash. I ducked. Too late. A blast of glass shards sent me staggering back against the wall.

  Then the sunlight came pouring back through the window as the monster moved on. I could hear his thunderous footsteps from somewhere outside, but I couldn’t see him. I shook my head, sending pieces of glass falling to the floor. I brushed glass off the front of my shirt.

  Mom groaned. “I think I twisted my ankle.” Miss Lyons and I hurried to help her up.

  Outside, we heard the shouts of police officers. Finally! I saw two officers running toward the ripped-apart patrol car.

  One cop right outside our smashed window had a phone pressed to his mouth. “We need backup here!” he cried. “The monster is real—and it’s big and angry.”

  A brief pause. Then he screamed into the phone: “You heard me. A monster is going berserk here. No. I don’t know the code number for that. Do you?”

  Cops were running around all over the parking lot. One of them had the patrol car door in his hands. He was shaking his head in disbelief.

  “I’m going to have to keep the kids in school till we get an all-clear from the police,” Miss Lyons said. “Parents don’t have to stay. Unless you want to.”

  She started toward the door. “Are you okay, Mrs. Keppler? I have to talk to the other parents.”

  Leaning on a chair, Mom tested her ankle. “I’m okay,” she said. She and I followed Miss Lyons out into the hall.

  Liam and his mother were next in line. We nodded to each other in greeting. “Hey, Jordan, how’s it going?” he asked.

  I shrugged in reply.

  “It’s Liam’s first day of school,” his mother told Miss Lyons. “How could this happen on his very first day?”

  I didn’t hear the answer. Mom and I walked through the crowd to my classroom. I thought about Liam. I felt bad that I’d suspected him of being the monster. He seemed like a nice kid now.

  He probably felt totally awkward being in a new school for the first time. And there I was, raising my hand, planning to tell Ms. Foreman that he was a monster.

  That would have been seriously embarrassing. Especially since SHE was the monster.

  “Listen, Jordan,” Mom said, taking my arm. “I took the morning off, but I have to
get to work now. I want you to call me as soon as they say it’s safe for you to leave the school.”

  “No problem,” I said.

  “I’ll come pick you up—”

  “If they say the monster has left, Karla and I can walk home,” I said. “It’s only four blocks. We’ll be okay.”

  “Call me when you leave school, and call me when you get home,” Mom said. “Don’t forget.”

  “No worries.”

  She kissed my cheek. “Love you.” Then she turned and hobbled out the front door.

  The police were still in our classroom. So, one by one, kids in Ms. Foreman’s class were gathering in the library after their meetings with Miss Lyons. Ms. Foreman tried to lead a discussion about being afraid and how to get over it.

  But no one was in the mood to talk. I think we were all listening for the monster to return.

  So Ms. Foreman said it was quiet reading time. And we all found library books and read silently—until a little after four o’clock. That’s when the police gave the all-clear. They couldn’t find the monster anywhere.

  “Be very careful, everyone,” Ms. Foreman said. She stood at the door as we filed out and said nice things to each of us. She was trying to be brave and act normal. But I saw her hands trembling, and her face was totally pale.

  I met up with Karla in our usual place in the playground, and we crossed the street, heading home. Billowing gray clouds covered the sun, and the air began to grow cold. It felt like rain was coming.

  “Do you think Robby is still hanging around?” Karla asked. “Is he going to be waiting in our kitchen, hoping for an after-school snack?”

  I shrugged. “Beats me.” I kept darting my eyes all around. “He’s totally tricky. He fooled everyone, Karla. Everyone thought he was Ms. Foreman.”

  Karla shivered. “And he trashed the room?”

  I nodded. “I think he’s getting more and more violent. He smashed his fist through Miss Lyons’s office window.”

  “Maybe if he knows the police are after him, he’ll go to another town,” she said.

  “Maybe,” I murmured. But I didn’t really believe it.

  We stopped at the corner to let an SUV filled with kids roll by. I felt a cold drop of rain on my forehead. “We’re going to get drenched,” I said.

  Karla shifted her backpack on her shoulders. “Did you remember to call Mom?”

  “Oh. No. I forgot.” I started to reach for my phone when I felt a tap on my shoulder. “Hey!” I cried out in surprise. Normally, I wouldn’t have reacted like that but, things were tense.

  I turned and stared at Liam. He had a gray hoodie pulled up over his head. His hair fell over one eye. He looked very pale in the gray light.

  “Hi,” he said. “Can I … can I walk with you? I don’t really know the streets that well.”

  “No problem,” I replied. Liam didn’t want to say it, but I could see he was frightened. I introduced him to Karla. “Liam just started school here today.”

  Karla grinned. “You had an awesome first day!”

  All three of us laughed, but it was a grim kind of laughter.

  The wind swept Liam’s hood back. His hair flew off his face. I could see the fear in his eyes.

  “Where do you live?” Karla asked him.

  He pointed down the street. “On Blackwood. I think it’s a block or two from here.”

  “We’ll show you,” I said. We started to walk.

  “I’ve never been so scared just walking home,” Karla confessed. “But … maybe the police captured him. Maybe we’re all safe now.”

  Two older kids from the high school came roaring up on bikes and brushed past us, nearly knocking the three of us off the sidewalk. They laughed as we screamed in surprise.

  “Very funny, guys,” Karla muttered.

  Liam shook his head. “It’s too dangerous here,” he said.

  We walked another half block. I was debating whether or not to tell him what I thought when I’d first seen him this morning. Finally, I decided to go ahead and say it.

  “Can I tell you something funny?” I started. “You won’t believe this, Liam. But when you came into our class this morning and Ms. Foreman introduced you, I thought you were the monster.”

  Liam laughed. His eyes flashed. “I am the monster!” he said.

  I laughed. I thought he was joking.

  But then he grabbed Karla and me by the backs of our necks and shoved us off the sidewalk—and I knew it wasn’t a joke.

  His strength still surprised me. With his left hand wrapped around Karla’s neck, he lifted her off the ground.

  We both kicked and twisted and thrashed and screamed. But the monster held his grasp. He pushed us up someone’s front lawn. And as the rain started to come down hard, he forced us through their open garage door and into a small, cluttered garage.

  “Let us go! What are you going to do to us?” Karla screamed.

  He forced us to the back wall and then loosened his grasp. My neck ached and throbbed from his tight hold on it. My legs suddenly felt weak as I stared at him, unable to force back my fright.

  “Where’s the real Liam?” I cried.

  He brushed the hair off his eyes. “How should I know? He probably went home after school. I’m sure he’s safe at home with his mommy.”

  “But—you look and sound just like him,” I said. “How do you do that?”

  A sneer spread over his lips. “I don’t know. It’s just what I can do. We all have our talents— right?”

  “Let us go!” Karla cried. She seemed more angry than frightened. Karla grabbed a lawn hoe off the garage floor. She gripped the handle and started to swing it in front of Liam. “Back off!” she cried. “I mean it. Go away!”

  He laughed. “You’re kidding, right? Put that down, Karla. Did you forget I’m a monster? I can hurt you!”

  She gave it one more swing. Then she heaved it against the garage wall. “Why don’t you go away, Robby?” she shouted. “Why are you always picking on us?”

  Robby’s smile faded. “You let me out,” he said, lowering his voice. “You are responsible for me.”

  “No!” I cried. “We can’t be. We can’t—”

  “You have to start taking better care of me,” he said. “I need more attention from you. I need more. Do you understand?”

  “No. I don’t understand,” I said. “We didn’t mean to let you out. We didn’t know you were a monster.”

  “What do you want us to do?” Karla demanded. “What are you talking about? What do you need from us?”

  “Food,” he answered. “I need food.”

  “We can’t keep giving you food,” I said. “Every time we give you food, you go berserk and—”

  “I’m just like you. I need food to stay alive,” he said, locking his stare on me. “Don’t you understand? I need a lot of food. I get very hungry. I can’t help it. I’m a nice guy, but I have some issues I have to deal with. In the meantime, I need you to feed me—a lot.”

  “Giving you food is too dangerous,” I said.

  He pushed me against the garage wall. “You don’t have a choice, Jordan,” he growled. “You’re going to feed me every night. Every night, you’re going to bring me a big, heaping plate of food.”

  “N-no, I can’t,” I stammered. “No way. I—”

  He brought his face up close to mine. He still looked like Liam. But his eyes turned fiery red, like an enraged animal.

  “Did you forget that I’m a monster?” he snarled. “I can do terrible things to you both.”

  “You have to listen to reason,” Karla chimed in. “We can’t bring you big plates of food every night. Our parents will never allow it.”

  “Why should I care about your parents?” he snapped. “That’s your problem.”

  “But they’ll catch us. They’ll stop us,” I said.

  He stood there breathing hard, pressing me against the wall. “Okay,” he said finally. “Okay, I have a better idea. Let’s go.”

&n
bsp; “Huh? Go where?” I said.

  “To your house. You’re inviting me to dinner.”

  Karla and I followed him out of the garage. The rain had turned to a light drizzle. The afternoon sun was trying to poke through the clouds.

  “We can’t do this,” Karla whispered. “We can’t do this to Mom and Dad.”

  “What choice do we have?” I whispered back.

  Robby spun around. “Did I forget to mention that I have superhearing? I can hear every word you whisper.”

  I nodded. I didn’t know what to say.

  “Don’t worry about your parents,” he said. “Just get me fed.”

  “You trashed our kitchen,” I started. “You—”

  He narrowed his eyes at me. “I’ll be on my best behavior. I promise. There won’t be any trouble.”

  “You said that before,” I told him. “And then—”

  He raised his right hand. “I swear. My best behavior.” He motioned for us to keep walking. “Tell your parents I’m Liam Nathan. I’m the new kid in school, and that’s why you invited me for dinner.”

  “But, Robby—”

  “They’ll be proud of you for wanting to welcome a new kid. You’ll see.”

  Karla and I exchanged worried glances. There was no way we could get out of doing this. We were trapped. We just had to believe Robby when he swore he’d be on his best behavior.

  He thinks we’re responsible for him now. Does this mean he’ll NEVER go away?

  That was my frightening thought as we walked home. I didn’t dare say it to Karla—since Robby could hear every whisper.

  If only I could take out my phone and dial 911. I could get the police to come arrest him.

  But why would they? He looked just like Liam. The cops would never believe he was the monster.

  Maybe he’ll keep his word. Maybe tonight won’t be a disaster …

  A few minutes later, I was in our living room, introducing him to Mom and Dad. “Mom, you already met Liam in school today. Remember? Today was his first day?”

  Mom clapped her hands to her cheeks. “Oh, what a terrible day to start. You must have been so frightened, Liam.”

  He nodded. “It was very scary. I—I couldn’t breathe for a moment when Ms. Foreman started to change into a monster.”