The Euclidian: Alien Hitman

by Jay Cannon

  Adar looked down the alley where he heard sounds of a struggle. Two big guys beating up on one little guy. That does not seem reasonable, he thought. Hmm, I think a fight is the very thing I need to get my head straight. With that, Adar replaced his gloves and headed down the alley to investigate the disturbance.

  “Please don’t rob me,” begged Malcolm, still lying on the dirty alley floor. “I need my money to help pay for our rent. I worked all week for it.”

  “I don’t give a damn how long you worked for it or if you pay your rent or not,” said the bullying gang member, clearly accustomed to getting his way. “Cough up the dough, or I’m going to punch you again.”

  “Stop whining, bitch, and give us the cash,” said the other gangbanger, kicking Malcolm in his thigh with his beige Timberland boots.

  “So, in this place, it is okay to terrorize the weak?” Adar slowed as he approached the altercation.

  “Who the fuck are you, little man? Back away, before me and my boy tear you a new one,” said the husky assailant, a bit shocked to see Adar.

  “I am not sure what you are saying, but where I come from, one does not take advantage of the weak. However, if you decided to attack ME, I would happily take advantage of you.”

  “Shoot the punk,” said one of the assailants. The other guy went for the gun at his waist. Adar grabbed the talkative one by the arm and slung him against the far wall of the alley. He then spun and shoved his short spear into the chest of the other man before he could fire his weapon. The man grabbed at his chest, then aimed a look of disbelief at Adar. A gurgling sound came from his throat as Adar removed his spear, leaving him to fall to the ground, dead.

  Adar stiffened slightly, noticing the blood dripping from his spear. This was the first human he had killed. The metallic smell and bright red color of the liquid spewing from the body was unfamiliar. He tasted it, letting the salty flavor swirl around his tongue.

  “You killed them!” said the small human, attempting to rise from the ground.

  “No, the one by the wall is still moving,” said Adar, pointing to the man attempting to pull himself across the alley floor. “Hold on.” Adar walked over to the gang member writhing in pain, ignored his pleas for mercy and shoved the spear into his skull.

  “He is pretty much dead now,” said Adar, wiping his spear on the man’s pants. He then walked back toward the teenager.

  “Please don’t kill me,” begged Malcolm, backing away from Adar.

  “I am not going to kill you. I am Adar,” he said, holding out his hand to Malcolm.

  “I’m Malcolm,” the teenager said, shaking Adar’s hand nervously. “What’s wrong with your eyes?”

  “I am squinting.” Adar looked over the two dead bodies. He took the shades off of one of them and placed them on his face. “That is better, huh?”

  “You still look a little weird.”

  “So do you. I need a place to stay. Do you know where either of these reside?” Adar asked, pointing a gloved finger at the bodies lying in the alley. “I am sure they will not need their place anymore.”

  “No, but I’m sure they have driver’s licenses with their addresses in their pocket. You should probably take their wallets and move out of the alley before someone sees us here.”

  “You go ahead and get them, while I keep watch,” suggested Adar, turning toward the alley entrance.

  “Okay, give me a second.” What the hell am I doing here rifling through the clothes of two dead guys? Malcolm looked up at Adar. He wondered if he would be the next to die. Still, he followed the funny-looking guy’s directions and retrieved the wallets.

  “Hey, what did you do to them?” asked a third gang member who had been watching the alley. He wore the same gang colors as the duo who had accosted Adar and Malcolm. Walking towards them, he reached for a gun. Before he could aim, Adar buried his spear into the man’s chest, driving him to the ground with the force of his thrust.

  “We should definitely go now,” the alien grunted, pulling his spear out of the latest corpse before striding out of the alley.

  “You go ahead,” said Malcolm. “I’m going to go this way.”

  “Are you my friend or my enemy?” asked Adar, tightening his grip on his spear and moving towards Malcolm.

  “Friend, friend,” said Malcolm, frantically waving his hands in front of Adar.

  “Then help me find a place to stay,” insisted Adar, grimacing.

  “Okay, let’s go to the corner where there’s more light.”

  At the corner, Malcolm pulled the licenses from the wallets. “It looks like they are brothers. They have the same last name and live at the same address, which means they probably live with their parents.”

  “So what are you telling me?” Adar asked, confused by the statement.

  “You’re not from around here, are you?” asked Malcolm, beginning to toy with idea that the person in front of him probably wasn’t born on Earth. But he’d always heard that aliens were “little green men.” This Adar was little, but he wasn’t green. And he wasn’t thin and spindly like aliens in the movies.

  Adar just cocked his head as if to study Malcolm. “Okay, don’t get angry. I just mean that there are probably other people living at their house,” the boy explained hastily.

  “So what do you suggest?” Adar asked, attempting to analyze Malcolm’s statement.

  “The people you just killed work for the pimp EZ Smooth, who has a house a few blocks from here. I’m sure he lives there by himself, except for maybe some of his ho’s.”

  “Hoes, what does that mean?” Adar looked confused. From his English lessons, he could only come up with garden utensils, which didn’t make sense to him.

  “Prostitutes, women of the night.” Malcolm was surprised that someone who spoke English so well would not know that term.

  “Why would someone live with prostitutes? Just take me to his place. I assume that he is a bad guy, if those people worked for him,” Adar surmised.

  “Yes, he’s very bad.” Malcolm nodded, wondering what the strange guy was planning.

  “Good, no one will miss him.” Malcolm noticed a sneer cross Adar’s face, and suspected another person would die tonight.

  ***

  A few minutes later, Malcolm and Adar arrived at the pimp’s house. Along the way, Malcolm looked for opportunities to get away from Adar. Adar’s talent at hurling his spear at adversaries made the teen doubt he could escape.

  “That’s his place right there,” said Malcolm, pointing to the pimp’s house as they approached. EZ Smooth lived in a modest two-story brick house with wide cement stairs leading to the front door. A brightly lit doorbell glowed in the dark.

  “How do we get inside?” asked Adar, unsure of how to get the attention of the occupants.

  “You knock on the door or ring the doorbell and wait for someone to come to the door,” said Malcolm, giving him an odd look. The evidence against Adar being from Earth was adding up.

  “That is an odd way to announce oneself,” Adar replied, wondering at the low-tech approach. “You go ahead and do it. When someone responds, I will do the rest,” he instructed.

  A man opened the door to EZ Smooth’s house, and Adar shoved his spear into the man’s chest, pushing him back and motioning for Malcolm to follow him.

  “Billy, who is it?” inquired a well-dressed man with a light coffee complexion and luxurious ringlets of black hair that touched muscular shoulders clad in an ivory silk suit. The man reclined on the deep-cushioned, white couch as Adar stalked into the large room.

  “You can call me Adar, as if it matters,” Adar said, before propelling the bloody spear in his hand into the fellow’s chest before he could react. EZ Smooth grabbed at the spear before falling sideways. A long, glass coffee table in front of the couch held money, drugs and an unfinished tumbler of Morgan and Coke.

  “Oh my God, you killed them!” gasped Malcolm. “You just killed two people for no reason.”

  “You said they
were bad guys,” Adar retorted, confused by Malcolm’s distress.

  “Yes, but they’re supposed to be arrested and get a trial.” Killing the attackers in the alley could be justified as self-defense, but these two hadn’t threatened them in any way.

  “Why bother?” asked Adar, regarding Malcolm calmly.

  “What are you going to do with the bodies?” asked the teen, his panic rising. He was now an accomplice to five murders, and the night wasn’t over. How do I get away from this madman?

  “Is there someone we can call to pick them up?” Adar asked, still calm.

  “No! Not unless you want to have a bunch of police here to arrest you.” Malcolm looked side to side, as if he expected an answer to his dilemma or a way out of this nightmare to magically appear out of thin air.

  “Hold on,” said Adar, turning away slightly. “Wylyy, are you there?” he asked, speaking into his UCD in Euclidian.

  “Yeah, Adar. What’s up?” answered Wylyy, from his perch in the attack ship, which now rested on the Atlantic Ocean floor.

  “I got a couple of dead bodies here I need to dispose of. Just send them somewhere out of the way. They are a few meters away from me.”

  “What did you say and what kind of cell phone is that?” cried Malcolm, staring at Adar. “Oh my god, his body just disappeared,” the teen gaped, pointing at the spot where EZ Smooth’s body lay on the couch seconds earlier. He turned towards Adar, his dark eyes wide and frightened. He saw anger suffuse Adar’s face.

  “Friend, friend!” Malcolm shouted, waving his hands back and forth in front of Adar. “I need to go home now. My mother will be worried.” Malcolm’s legs shook and he feared he would pee his pants.

  “I do not care if your mother is worried about you. Do I need to worry about you discussing what you have seen tonight?” Adar challenged.

  “No, it’s just that I am usually home by now, and my mother is probably wondering where I am.”

  “Fine. Take some of this currency with you. I will need to see you later to help me figure some things out.”

  “Okay, I’ll come back tomorrow before school,” Malcolm assured him, grabbing a stack of money from the coffee table and stowing it in his backpack before hurrying to leave the room. “I’ll put a sign on your door, so no one bothers you. The body out here is gone! Never mind. I’m okay. Bye!” he shouted, breaking into a sprint to the door.

  Malcolm rushed home to the one-bedroom apartment he shared with his mother, his only real family. His father left years earlier, and of his two older brothers, one was serving a 20-year jail sentence, while the other had been killed two years ago by gang members. His mother, Raleesha, saw Malcolm as her last hope of being rewarded for all her years of struggling to keep a roof over her family’s head and be a good mother. She worked as a cashier in a grocery store during the day and a cleaner of office buildings at night. Malcolm wished he could do more to supplement her income.

  Arriving home, he skipped dinner, went to his room and hid under his bedcovers, trying to make sense of the evening’s events. What I thought I saw can’t be real. Maybe getting hit in the alley gave me hallucinations; or maybe the stress of dodging the gangs is making me crazy; or, maybe someone is playing a nasty trick on me. That’s it. That guy can’t be no alien. He just comes from some far off place I’ve never heard of. I’ll just see that guy at the pimp’s house tomorrow and prove it. His next step in mind, Malcolm turned over and willed himself to sleep.

  ***

  Adar slowly surveyed the dwelling’s interior. The house seemed unremarkable outside, which camouflaged its opulence inside. The pimp had spared no expense, upgrading the kitchen with high-end stainless appliances and adding a man-cave in the basement with the latest gadgets in an elaborate entertainment center. But the house paled in comparison to Adar’s typical living quarters. This is primitive and poorly designed, he thought. I’ve been in escape pods better equipped than this place. It will have to suffice for now, but I’d better make sure no one else is here and then look around the neighborhood.

  After his reconnaissance, Adar strolled toward Adler Planetarium at the south end of Monroe Harbor. He stood for a time, watching boats as they sailed or motored by. He found the crescent moon interesting, too. The scents wafting his way from Lake Michigan captivated Adar. No matter where I go in the universe, the water always smells different, he thought. I do not like being in the water, but I like watching it, listening to its sounds, and most of all, I love the smells. It constantly changes and brings life to a planet.

  Adar attached a small sensor to the railing that would detect Cheoili DNA, if one of the fugitives happened to pass by. As he walked along the waterfront toward Navy Pier, Adar placed more sensors in inconspicuous places. He eventually stopped at the edge of Navy Pier to enjoy the water.

  “Excuse me, mister, do you have a dollar?” a beggar asked Adar, interrupting his concentration.

  “Yes, I do,” said Adar, annoyed by the intrusion.

  “Can I have it to get some food?” the man asked, hunching his shoulders and holding his hand out to Adar.

  “This city provides free food. I have been given the location of such places. Even if they did not exist, why should I give you my money?” Adar found the request disturbing.

  “I’m broke and need the money. I’m sure you can spare a dollar,” the beggar whined, a beseeching look in his eyes.

  “If you want money, work for it or fight for it,” Adar retorted.

  “Fuck you, asshole,” growled the fellow, before straightening his spine and turning away.

  Adar reached out, grabbed the man and flung him from the pier into the water. “Now you can catch all the food you want,” he yelled.

  Turning to leave the pier, Adar only took a few steps before three men threw garbage at him.

  “Do you not see the trash can over there?” yelled Adar, indignantly.

  “Piss off, runt,” one of the men retorted. “You pick up my trash.”

  Adar rushed toward the mouthy litterer, grabbed him by the back of his collar and slammed him against a post on the pier. The man’s companions watched as Adar wrapped his gloved hand around the offender’s neck and yanked him to his knees. He then placed his spear tip in the man’s crotch and sliced upward through his head, cleaving him vertically, before letting the two halves of his body fall into the water.

  Witnessing this brutality, the other two men tried to run but failed to get very far. Adar pulled out his photon rifle and depressed its trigger, enveloping them in an energy beam that instantly disintegrated their bodies. These humans are such weak, self-absorbed excuses for intelligent life. I’m surprised they survived this long without being taken over, he thought dispassionately.

  The alien then walked away from the pier, dismissing the killings from his thoughts. He turned down Michigan Avenue and headed to his new lodgings to get some sleep. Tomorrow, I go after the Cheoili, he vowed.

  ***

  Upon arriving in the city of Chicago, the Cheoili immediately mingled with the crowds at Millennium Park to avoid discovery. Their study of the English language had prepared them for the trip, but their looks could still give them away. From experience, they knew that when you wore a hat and glasses and covered the rest of your face with your hand, people tended to just ignore you.

  “Each of you find a human and mimic the person,” Daloi instructed. “Monitor how they talk and express themselves. Luckily, we learned this English language aboard the Andrea, and now we need to learn how to speak with the proper intonation. Let’s meet over by the Peanut, as they call it, in a couple of hours.”

  “Shouldn’t we change our clothes as well?” asked Tatan.

  “Yes, we should probably get out of this prison clothing. If you like, there are plenty of places across the street to obtain clothing,” replied Daloi. “It shouldn’t matter what we pick out. Look around you. It’s festival season here, and people are wearing all sorts of clothing. That’s one of the reasons I picked this spo
t.”

  “What’s the other reason?” asked Dholi.

  “There are people here from all over the planet, so our differences won’t be as noticeable. Let’s keep moving. I suspect the Euclidian will be sending someone to this area soon to try to find us,” Daloi explained, as she strolled among the festival-goers.

  The trio spent considerable time mingling with visitors to the park, observing how they interacted. Daloi also contemplated their next steps. How do we survive in this crazy place? I need a way to convert our gold and find a place to stay. In a few years, the Euclidian should forget about us.

  ***

  “Hey, you two,” said Daloi, as Dholi and Tatan approached her. “Nice garments. Let’s go find a wealthy benefactor and lay low for a while. Are you with me?”

  “I’m ready,” said Dholi. “What does a benefactor look like on this planet?”

  “I’m sure it’s the same as always. Nice clothes, nice accessories, and a big ego. We should be able to find someone at the Art Institute.”

  “Sister, let’s find out what the most adorable look is for women here and change into that,” suggested Dholi. “It’ll make it easier to catch the right fella. We should see if this planet likes twins, as well.”

  “Agreed, Dholi. You certainly have your head on right when it comes to attracting males,” said Daloi, smiling at her sister and giving her shoulder a squeeze.

  “I’ll just be the cute brother hanging out with his sisters,” said Tatan, poking out his lips. The two females tittered.

  ***

  Early the next morning, Adar opened the door to his house, annoyed by the banging on it. “What the hell do you people want?” yelled Adar at a group of men assembled on his stairs.

  “Who are you, and where’s EZ Smooth?” asked the man standing in front of Adar.

  “None of your business who I am,” said Adar, kicking him in the chest and over the heads of the group. “I do not know or care where EZ Smooth is. Get away from my door before I kill all of you, and do not return,” said Adar, waving his hand at them in irritation.