by T. Styles
I knew if he dug around deep enough in my background, he’d see something emerge that would almost certainly convince him that I was capable of both acts, alone. He’d find out that I was a high priced prostitute who was the trophy piece of a big time drug lord, and a two-time felon wanted for murder.
When the phone rang again I rushed to it and looked at the caller ID and smiled when I saw Lorenzo’s name appear. Suddenly, I had one last Murderous idea.
CHAPTER EIGHTTEEN
SEPTEMBER 29th
THURSDAY, 8:05AM
KELSI
With a fist full of money and a mean ass dick stroke, I felt on top of the world. I ain’t gonna lie, banging Kenosha’s back out last night only fed my ego. Fifteen-years-old and I had a twenty-five year old bitch screaming my name, with her grand pops in the next room. What was Kenosha’s story though? Did she expect me to leave Keisha? If she did I wasn’t down for that. Right now I wasn’t sure what I wanted. Maybe I wanted to be by myself. All I know for sure is last night I had some bomb ass pussy. Since I haven’t felt the heat from the murders, right now, I consider myself to be one lucky ass nigga.
Yeah, I was on top of the world but was broken down like G Money in New Jack City, when I saw my girl cheesing in Bricks’ face. Don’t get me wrong, I ain’t no jealous ass nigga but what she was giving in the hallway at school was a bit much. It didn’t help that she was wearing a brand new outfit that I’m sure she bought with the money I gave her the other day. And the jeans! She knows I like to see that ass in skin-tight jeans, with them spiky boot joints and any top showing her titties. Look at that nigga, smiling like one of them retarded kids in room 2C. I should crush his skull.
Fuck that, I’m ‘bout to see what’s up. When I walked over to them, the moment she saw me, she broke down the hall.
“Keisha, Keisha! Come here, girl!” I yelled.
She didn’t come back. Obviously I wouldn’t have played myself by yelling her name in the hallway if I knew she was gonna carry me, so I had to play it off and hoped she was far enough down the hall so she couldn’t hear me.
“Fuck you then, bitch!” I said as I waved her off.
I walked over to Bricks who was laughing his ass off against the lockers and said, “What’s up with that?”
“I don’t know, slim. I came in today and she comes up to me kicking some bullshit.”
“What bullshit?”
“Something ‘bout she was up all night watching America’s Next Top Model and almost played hooky today from school.”
“America’s Next Top Model? What the fuck?” Bricks was talking but still laughing at how Keisha carried me, but truthfully, I ain’t see shit funny.
“I wonder why she broke out on me like that.”
“I don’t know man but did you see how good your girl looked? Damn! Them jeans were made for her.”
Like I said, ordinarily I ain’t no jealous dude but even to a nigga who ain’t give a fuck that comment would’ve been too much to handle. I felt like knocking his fat ass up against the lockers but I would have played myself, once again.
I said what I always did when we bullshitted but this time I was serious, “fuck you nigga.”
The expression on his face showed me he felt me and I walked off to class.
Sitting in front of Keisha was hard because I felt the heat. She ain’t say shit to me and I ain’t say shit to her. I even walked over to this shawty who was feeling me and whispered some bullshit in her ear. I was laying it on thick. Then I got a little carried away and started flirting with a few more and they were eating that shit up. Women are scandalous. They love to flirt with other bitches’ men while they’re watching. They were helping me play out my game real smooth. See she forgot, I was still a wanted nigga even though I chose to fuck with her.
Keisha was shook, running in and out of class asking to be excused and shit. She tried to play a game she couldn’t handle. And now look at her she got played. I was loving how fucked up she looked and then it dawned on me, she was mad because I ain’t call her ass back last night. I was getting tired of her shit. If she wanted to act like a little girl every time I ain’t answer the phone, then she could suck my dick! I needed a woman. I wasn’t about to start tripping off a bitch. I was getting ready to be one of the richest niggas around and if she missed out, oh well.
My moms finally put it down to me about her reasons for wanting Delonte’s weight, and I was feeling it. Making dollars, so we wouldn’t have to be begging for shit, was something I ain’t mind doing. Besides, more money meant more broads, so as much as I was feeling Keisha, she could be replaced. Although I couldn’t make Kenosha my girl, because she was empty-headed, I could still fuck her in the process. In other words, Keisha could be replaced, easily.
BACK AT HOME
4:15PM
“I got it, Skully.”
“You sure? I don’t want to hear no bullshit youngin.”
“I’m sure,” I responded tired of him doubting me. I never came up short with his money so I never understood what his problem was. “I ain’t trying to fuck with you, or your money. I’ll meet you about 9:15 by the corner store tonight. You got something else for me?”
“Yeah, and I’ll give it to you later, but not tonight.”
“Why later?”
“What I tell you ‘bout asking too many mothafucking questions?” He paused. “Don’t!!!”
“My bad, man.”
“Don’t be sorry lil nigga, just look out for your moms. I’m out.”
When I got off the phone I felt like I’d seen the devil. You see Skully was never caught slipping until now. This nigga never expressed emotions. He was always the same heartless bastard I’ve known since I met him. As far as I knew, he only gave a fuck about himself, so why the fuck he care about my mother?
When I heard her come home I was happy I wouldn’t have to wonder too long. I decided to ask her straight up before she had a chance to get a story straight. I wondered what connection my mother had with Skully.
“So you know Skully, ma?” I asked not expecting it to come out like that.
The door closed, her eyes met mine and looked away.
The look on her face said it all. Whenever she was upset or nervous, she’d drop her keys on the counter, which she did, grab a drink, which she was doing and sat on the couch.
“What you talking about, K-man?”
“Ma, please stop calling me K-man. You always do that when you trying to remind me you my moms. Trust me, I know you my moms cuz it’s the only thing I’m sure about but I need you to be real with me, like I’ve been real with you. Do you know Skully and if so how?”
She took a deep breath and said, “Kelsi, come over here and sit down. We need to talk.”
Oh shit. It’s on. I knew now that whatever relationship she had with Skully was deeper than I thought. Prior to now I ain’t even tell her I was pushing but I was that sure she knew because of Skully’s slip up. And if she knew Skully, she knew all about me. I sat in the recliner next to the couch so I could see her eyes.
“Remember our talk last week about there being a lot of things about me you don’t know?”
“Yeah,” I said trying to guess how Skully connected with everything. “I thought you told me about your past.”
“I told you almost everything.”
“There’s more?” I asked already knowing the answer.
“There’s a lot more baby.”
“Like what?”
“Well,” she said as she pulled in two deep breaths. “I was involved with a big time drug dealer in New York. I had everything baby and you being my son had it all too. Do you remember New York at all?”
“Not really, I remember hating the school and a bunch of flashy niggas running in and out. Other than that it was too much going on so I’m running a blank.”
“Well, do you remember Jarvis? He was my boyfriend. He was out a lot but I thought you’d still remember.”
“Not really, Ma. I had to be li
ke 9 years old back then but you’ve mentioned his name like a hundred times when talking about Delonte. Sometimes you called Delonte, Jarvis by mistake and I been meaning to ask you about it.”
“I didn’t know I was doing that. It’s probably because they both sneaky.”
“Do they look alike?”
“No, but they have a lot of the same traits. I knew Jarvis had something else with him, just like Delonte, but I stayed in the relationship anyway. I do what most women do, let men use them up.” She looked away as she appeared to go somewhere else for a second.
There she go again dragging the story out. Here it was, we committed a murder together, a crime so vicious we had no choice but to trust each other and she was treating me like I was Cuba Gooding in the movie Radio.
“Ma, come on.”
“I’m trying to, baby. This is hard for me.”
“And so was killing Delonte but I did it.”
“Eaaassy, Kelsi. Don’t get fucked up,” she said as she looked at me like she was gonna whoop my ass on the spot. Even with having killed two people, I was shook.
“Sorry, ma.”
“Like I was saying, I was keeping time with Jarvis. We were moving kilos of coke a week. I had so much money, that I ran out of ways to spend it. I mean, a girl can buy but so many fur coats, purses and custom made jewelry pieces. It was the life Kelsi. After leaving your father who treated me like shit, I welcomed the lifestyle with open arms and a young heart. I was content but Jarvis was greedy. He told me he was able to get his hands on the same connect, Kyope, who was also his best friend and supplier used. He wanted to eliminate the middle-man, which meant killing Kyope, and making it look like a robbery. So wanting to please my man and prove myself like I did your father, I did what he asked me to.”
I realized now why it was so hard for her to tell me. This sounded like some mafia shit and I couldn’t imagine my moms being involved in anything like this.
“He comes to me and asks me to frame Kyope by luring him into my bed. See, Kyope was always sweet on me but Jarvis ain’t never want him to have me. Kyope didn’t just want me he cared for me. It’s hard to say he loved me considering what he did to me later. But I can say this, his eyes told me every time he looked at me, that at a different time and different place, if I chose Kyope instead of Jarvis, life would’ve been better for me and you both.”
For real, I could do without the sexual details she was giving but I was listening anyway. My moms was revealing a side of herself I didn’t know about.
“So I did what he asked me to I lured him to the hotel room. The plan was for Jarvis and a few of his boys to come into the hotel room to rob and kill Kyope once I had him there. But Jarvis told somebody and it got out or it could have been that Jarvis told Kyope that I was setting him up and I was to be used as a sacrifice to prove Jarvis’s loyalty to Kyope. To be honest I don’t know what happened. All I know is when I went to meet Kyope alone at the hotel as planned, Jarvis was there but he wasn’t supposed to be. They were sitting outside together in Kyope’s car in the parking lot waiting on me. I smelled deceit immediately!” The tears rolled down her face.
As I looked at my moms tell the story, I knew she’d gone to that place and time. She was physically in the room with me but mentally she was where everything happened that night.
“So I doubled back to the house to get you from the babysitter but right before I was able to get out, they came after me. Jarvis acted like he didn’t know anything about the plan. Even then I wanted to protect him. I wasn’t trying to tell Kyope anything. All I wanted to do was take you and leave.” She continued as her tears and cries became mixed. “But he wouldn’t let me leave. He wouldn’t let me take my baby! He kept saying I had him fucked up for trying to set up his man. That I was wrong for trying to rob Kyope and had to pay with my life. I didn’t really blame Kyope because he was right for wanting to kill me for trying to set him up but Jarvis knew he was in on it and he didn’t do anything to try and protect me!” She continued wiping her tears. “They did a lot of shit to me including throwing me in the trunk of a car after shooting me several times in my shoulder.”
I jumped up and looked at her. I always wondered where those wounds came from, but she was always sensitive when I asked her about them. Stuff was starting to come back to me. I remembered her sneaking into my room late one night and waking me up out of my sleep. Then I remembered her putting me into my closet and begging me to be quiet. “Please Kelsi, be very quiet baby. Her face was wet with tears. “Don’t move and prove to Mommy you can be a soldier. Mommy needs you to promise.” And I did.
“You okay, baby?” She asked.
“Yes, go ahead, Ma.” I sat down.
“Well, Jarvis and a friend had planned on killing me and dumping my body somewhere in a warehouse district but I got out, Kelsi. I got out and ran for my life. You were in the closet, back at the apartment and I prayed to God to keep you there. Safe. I ran all over but couldn’t find my way out. I thought it was over but then a man with a skull necklace found me and saved my life.”
I knew exactly who that was because he rocked that same joint now.
“Skully,” I said as if it needed to be said.
“Yes.” The tears falling down her face let me know that talking about it was too hard.
Now I wondered if the nightmares she had, had anything to do with this shit. I wish I could find all of ‘em and murder them mothafuckas one by one. I made a mental note in my head to never, ever forget the names Jarvis and Kyope for as long as I lived. I also developed a new respect for the man I worked for but sometimes didn’t like; after all, he saved my moms.
I got up and handed her a tissue. Seeing her cry ripped my heart out. Shit! I was on some more murderous shit and I was trying to calm down. I felt like running outside and shooting anybody in my path. The only reason I didn’t was because my mother needed me there. Going outside blazing wasn’t doing shit but causing unnecessary attention and I needed to be focused.
“You don’t have to tell me anymore if you don’t want to.” I wasn’t tryna hear no more shit but I was trying to be strong for her. I wondered how I was doing.
“I have to, baby. So after finding me and hiding me from Jarvis and that rapist –”
“They raped you?”
“Yes.”
Dead men. Somewhere on earth was walking dead men.
“Go ahead, Ma.”
“Skully took me back to our studio apartment in Manhattan, and you were still there.” Her tears ran down her face and I knew they were mixed with the love she had for me. “Oh my God, Kelsi, you were there. Seeing your face was the best thing I’d ever seen. You didn’t cry or make a move until you saw me and then we ended up here. We could’ve been anywhere but fate had it that we ended up here.”
“Well now you’re safe, mama. I’ll never let anybody harm you ever again! That’s my word!”
“Baby there’s more. I did a lot of dirt when I was with Jarvis including killing two runners in the Cypress Hill projects in New York. So with this detective Nick coming by today, he’s gonna cause a lot of problems.”
“Nick Fearson?” I asked.
“I don’t know. I didn’t get his full name.”
“Well when I told you about the blackmail, I didn’t tell you Delonte wanted me to push coke for him, cuz at the time I ain’t want you to know I was pushing. But he was blackmailing me by threatening to tell him everything and he said he had the shirts covered in blood.”
“Shit! We forgot to burn them!” She yelled.
For one minute we realized we made a crucial mistake that could cost us majorly.
“Well I was right about the blackmail being drug related. And I was right about Nick being on the take. This is not good. He came by and threatened to dig in my past and if he does, he’ll uncover all that shit I told you and more. Now Kelsi, jail time I can handle, but that won’t happen. The moment he starts sneaking around, he’ll find out my alias is Helena Hope, and Jarvis a
nd Kyope may come looking for me to finish me off. We got to get out of here.”
“Well let’s do it! What we waiting for?” I said ready to dump all that bullshit and be out.
“We don’t have enough money to hide deep enough. I got fifteen grand saved up and I know you got some too, but unless you hiding a hundred thou, we won’t get very far.”
“Okay, so what’s your plan?” I asked sensing that she had one. She wasn’t all hysterical and shit like I was, so that made me feel better. A little.
“It involves one last murder.”
What was she saying? We already had two murders under our belt, which were far from being over, along with the heat from her past. Killing somebody else made no sense to me. It was like running down the street with gasoline draws on.
“Ma, what are you saying?”
“I’m saying this last murder will give us enough money to live comfortably. With enough to build an empire on the lifestyle that stole our freedom. What I’m saying is Kelsi, we should kill your father so you can cash in on his life insurance policy.”
I can’t breathe.
I’m trying to but I can’t. I had asthma when I was little but it hadn’t bothered me in years. As a matter of fact, I remember the last time it happened was in the closet when I heard them beating her and she was screaming for her life. I probably blocked it out of my mind. I don’t want to think about that shit now. The only thing that saved me was remembering her telling me to breathe Kelsi, breathe. Take your time and breathe Kelsi. And I did. In the closet, alone and in the dark, I breathed until I saved my own life. It’s amazing what comes back at the strangest times.
A lot of shit my mother said always carried me through. Like the night I was fighting for my life with Charles. If it hadn’t been for me remembering something she said to me, that nigga would’ve taken me out. Now as I thought about her words, I realized I could breathe. The thing is, what am I breathing for?