Mistakes Were Made (Careless in Calabasas Book 1)

by Heidi McVay

  Okay. So the minivan was overkill. Scarlett didn’t even bother replying to the barb as she suddenly realized who the man was. “You’re Jesse Stonemarch.”

  The man glanced back at her with a grin as he moved toward the back end of the minivan and reached for the handle. “Yep. Suitcase back here?”

  Scarlett nodded as she shook her head in disbelief. Zarek knew the lead singer for one of the biggest-selling rock bands in the last decade, and he’d never told her? She stopped herself at that moment, her hand still on the sliding door’s handle. Of course, he hadn’t told her. He hadn’t spoken to her in years, and even before that, they’d rarely talked about who he knew or didn’t know. She’d understood, even back then, that their conversations were about normalcy for him. He didn’t want to talk about the paparazzi or the premieres or the parties. He wanted to talk about Buttercup, football, and their friends in New Orleans. Anything but his life in LA. Why hadn’t she ever noticed that?

  “I know the weather’s nice today, but I’m pretty sure Zarek will be pissed if you let his kid die of heatstroke.” Jesse’s voice was neutral and laced with dry humor.

  The words jerked her from her reverie, and she flushed. “Sorry. It’s been a weird morning.”

  There was a moment of silence as she opened the door and leaned in to carefully unfasten the buckles of the car seat. The baby didn’t stir as she lifted her onto her shoulder, simply snuggled down in her sleep as a chubby thumb made its way into her mouth. Jesse waited for her to move as he leaned in to grab the diaper bag and close the van door. “I bet it’s been beyond weird. That woman…” Jesse’s voice was tight, almost venomous as he moved past her and rounded the car. She fell into step beside him as he covered the distance. “She was a piece of work. Knew it from day one, but Zarek wouldn’t hear a word against her, stubborn ass that he is.”

  “Oh. So, you do know him.” The words were out before Scarlett could stop herself.

  Jesse grinned at her over his shoulder as he reached up and ran a hand over the top of the door frame, coming up with a key. “I think you and I are gonna get along just fine, Scarlett.”

  He slid the key into the lock and pushed the door open, stepping aside to gesture her inside. As she stepped in, it instantly became clear that this was no ordinary little house. Scarlett’s jaw dropped as she caught sight of the open living room. Though the outside had appeared purely to be from the 60s or 70s, inside had been renovated with careful thought. The dark hardwood floors were finished with a warm sheen. The furnishings were built for comfort, rather than show. Leather sofas and armchairs surrounded a massive stone fireplace, complete with an obscenely large television mounted over it. The kitchen was a play of old and new, with cabinets of reclaimed wood and a large farmhouse sink. The dining area held a table that could seat no fewer than a dozen people, but it was the floor to ceiling windows that instantly captured and held her attention.

  “Wow.” She breathed out the words as she moved closer to them, staring out at the view beyond. “Are we on the edge of a cliff?” Beyond the deck, there seemed to be nothing but hills as far as she could see.

  “Not quite, but close. It’s a pretty steep grade about a hundred feet back, but it’s all fenced. That’s the state park you’re looking at. Zarek bought the place because it meant the land would never be developed. It was kind of a dump when he got his hands on it a few years back.” Jesse stepped up beside her, arms folded over his shoulders. “It’s a great view, that’s for sure.”

  When she glanced over, he was staring out at the starkly beautiful landscape, his gaze unreadable. A moment later, he cocked his head and grinned. “Bedrooms are downstairs. Zarek’s is the door on the right, and Evie’s is on the left, right across the hall. Weird setup, but it means that both the bedrooms get a great view, almost the same as this one. The hall bath is beside Evie’s room.”

  Jesse turned and headed for the kitchen. Scarlett glanced back at the view once more and reluctantly turned to follow him. He pulled open the fridge and stared in. “Okay, there’s nothing in here but beer and mustard.” He closed the fridge and sighed, giving her a sheepish smile. “I’m gonna go get showered and change. If you wanna put Critter down to finish her nap and make a list, I’ll go to the store.”

  Scarlett nodded. It wasn’t what she expected, but then nothing of this day had been. “That would be great. Thank you.”

  The man gave her a friendly smile and headed for the door. “I’ll be back.” As he reached for the doorknob, he suddenly turned and regarded her once more, his smile dropping from his face. “You know, I don’t know what happened between the two of you, Scarlett, but Zarek…” She watched as the man paused, averting his gaze as he exhaled, awkwardly trying to find the right words for what he wanted to say. “He just hasn’t been the same since. So, maybe go easy on him. Just for a while. Okay?”

  He was gone, the door closing softly behind him before she could process his words, let alone form a response. Scarlett closed her eyes for a moment and bowed her head, the knowledge of what she was walking into hitting her full force. There was no way this could end well.

  She shifted the sleeping toddler in her arms and opened her eyes once more, brushing a kiss over the baby’s sweet-smelling spiky hair, without even realizing she’d done it until after she felt that soft, downy texture against her chin. “What the hell am I doing, kid?” There was no answer, save for another of those endearing little snores. Whatever the answer was, it wasn’t going to come from the baby.

  Chapter Five

  It was close to eleven by the time Zarek pulled into the driveway and killed the engine of the Range Rover. He stared for a moment at the powder blue minivan he didn’t recognize and belatedly realized it must be Scarlett’s rental. He should be amused at the idea but knew it was exactly something she would do when it came to precious cargo.

  As he leaned across to the passenger seat and grabbed his backpack and the bag of Chinese food he’d picked up, he saw Kilo come streaking out of the barn. The dog was yipping its head off, as usual. If Kilo was around, that meant Jesse wasn’t very far away. He slung the bag over his shoulder and climbed from the car, leaning to pet the dog, who wagged his tail with such force that for a moment, Zarek wondered how he stayed upright.

  “Hey.” Jesse’s voice came softly from the open doorway of the barn.

  Zarek glanced up to see his friend seated on the lowered tailgate of his battered pick-up truck, beer in hand. Somewhere inside the barn, the sounds of Led Zeppelin played softly. “Hey.” He didn’t bother to force a smile. Jesse would see right through it even if he had. “Scarlett and Evie make it okay?”

  “Yep. There was nothing in your fridge, man. I had to go to fucking Whole Foods. You know how I hate that place.” Jesse’s voice held no heat, only a good-natured grumble as he jerked his head toward the house. “She seems to be okay with Critter.”

  Of course, she was. Scarlett was great with children. It was one of many reasons that the fact she would never be able to have children of her own had been a crushing blow. Endometriosis was the diagnosis, something usually treatable, but Zarek could still remember the night she’d quietly informed him on a phone call that her doctor had delivered the final diagnosis. There was simply too much scar tissue on her uterus to carry a child to term. It would take a miracle for her to conceive naturally, and even then, there would be multiple, painful surgeries. All of that, she’d told him in that too-calm way of hers, there would be no guarantee of success.

  Zarek’s heart had broken for her that night. It had been one of the times he’d hung up the phone and broken something when he’d wished he’d never left New Orleans, never left her. If he’d been there, at least he could have done more than listen to the pain in her voice that she tried to conceal with joking. Zarek pushed the memory away and glanced back toward his friend. “Thanks for keeping an eye on the place.”

  Jesse gave a half-shrug. “Thanks for letting me stick around when Marty went off on her jour
ney of self-discovery. You gonna stay awhile?”

  Zarek shook his head. “Nope. I’m just going to the funeral, and then I go back to finish up. I’ll be home for good in a few weeks.” He closed his eyes for a moment as a fresh wave of worry and uncertainty washed over him. How the hell was he going to manage Evie on his own? Tatiana had been a shitty mother, but she’d at least tried to maintain the appearance of caring, where and when others could see her. Zarek exhaled heavily and lifted a hand, giving Jesse a wave as he headed for the front door. There was just too much to think about, and he was too tired.

  When he entered the house, it was quiet. The place looked as though it hadn’t been touched in weeks, and save for Scarlett and Evie that day; it hadn’t. He’d been gone nearly a month. Zarek slid his backpack from his shoulders and toed off his boots, leaving both next to the bench by the front door. As he shrugged out of his jacket and hung it on the hook above the bench, he listened for any sign of life. There was only the soft hum of the refrigerator. He headed for the stairs and toward the nursery.

  When he saw Scarlett, he stopped dead in his tracks, his heart constricting. She sat in the upholstered rocker, feet propped on the footstool, Evie sprawled out on her chest. His daughter slept peacefully, thumb in her mouth, and snoring as she always did. Zarek wasn’t sure whether it was the sight of Scarlett, or the sight of Evie, or both of them there, together like that, but something inside him cracked just a little.

  He hadn’t laid eyes on Scarlett in nearly two years. She looked exactly the same, and so very different. Her hair was shorter, barely skimming her jaw in curls so wild he’d almost forgotten her hair did that. Her little body was relaxed, one arm loosely wrapped around Evie’s tiny frame, keeping her safe even in sleep.

  Zarek’s heart constricted as he stood there, staring without any idea of what to do. He drew in a breath and quietly crossed the room, bending to scoop Evie up. Scarlett’s head lifted, and her arm tightened for a moment around the baby as she stared up at him. A moment later, she seemed to realize the toddler wasn’t falling and eased her grip. Evie didn’t stir as he wordlessly made his way to the crib and settled her gently inside.

  When he turned around again, Scarlett was staring at him in that half-dazed way of hers that she always had when she first woke. Zarek stared right back, unsure of what to say. Finally, he managed a tight smile. “Thanks.”

  She nodded and rose to her feet. How had he forgotten just how tiny she was next to him in just two years? God, it seemed like a lifetime. She pushed her hair from her face and fished in her pocket, drawing out her phone as she turned toward the door without another word. Zarek frowned and wandered after her. To his astonishment, she was at the front door reaching for the handle as before he realized what she seemed to be doing. “Are you leaving?” He couldn’t stop the edge of disbelief that crept into his voice.

  Scarlett didn’t even look up from her phone as she nodded, her fingers working busily at the screen. “Yeah. You’re back. I have stuff to do.”

  “Stuff to do?” Zarek echoed as he stepped closer. Gods, she even smelled the same. Like gardenia and fresh air, like New Orleans, like home. He reached out to grip her hand gently. “You can’t really be leaving right now.” Stubbornly, she still didn’t look up as she hit something on the phone screen. He leaned closer, taking advantage of their height difference to see that she was on a travel website. “Are you seriously trying to book a flight right now?”

  She stilled and tugged her hand from his grip as if burned by the contact. His own fingers tingled unexpectedly, and for the first time in more than a year, he felt an almost unfamiliar sensation in his belly. Arousal. Zarek dropped his hand and stared at her, floored by the fact that not only was he reacting at all but that it was arousal of all things. He had barely felt anything in so long that it was both relieving and slightly confusing that it happened at this moment of all times.

  She was silent for a moment longer before she finally spoke. “You needed me to pick up the kid, and I did. Now I’m going home.”

  “Hey.” Zarek frowned at her, his instincts to stop her far greater than his fear of her wrath at that moment. “Look at me.” Still, the small woman he’d known practically his entire life didn’t lift her head, though she did lower the phone. He tried again, his voice hardening. “Scar, look at me.” Slowly she lifted her head, and in those beautiful green eyes he’d missed for so long, he saw absolutely nothing. There wasn’t a flicker of emotion. Not anger, not dread, not sadness. Just… nothing. The eye contact lasted only a moment before dropping away again.

  He lifted a hand, reaching out to touch her shoulder. She stepped away this time. Okay. So she didn’t want to be touched in any way. He could deal with that. Zarek had known this was coming from the instant he made the call. “It’s late, and I’m exhausted. I know you have to be, too. Just forget about flying out tonight. Stay here. We’ll figure everything out in the morning. I brought Chinese. You still like lo mein, right?”

  She glanced at him once more before her eyes flicked to where he’d left the bag of takeout on the island. “With fried chicken?”

  At that, he felt his lips begin to curve upward in his first genuine smile, however small, in a very long time. “Of course. What kind of a heathen do you think I am, Scar?”

  This time, she snorted as she answered him. “Let’s not play pretend we’re friends. There’s no one watching.”

  And with that, the moment of relief fled when Zarek realized she wasn’t smiling back, and she walked right past him. Fuck. This was even worse than he’d thought, and he had no idea what to do now.

  ****

  Scarlett’s skin still prickled with the lingering effects of Zarek’s touch. She’d done her level best not to look at him. She’d thought she was ready for this, ready to handle being in the same room with him. She’d had all day long to steel herself for this. It was inevitable from the moment she’d agreed to his plea.

  The baby, it had turned out, was the least of her worries. Evie was a happy kid, with no apparent qualms about being in the company of a stranger all day. The tiny girl had proven to be surprisingly good company.

  Maybe if she’d been awake to hear him come in the house, she might have been better braced for the sight of him, tall and quiet. She’d forgotten that he moved with such feline grace, even for a man of his size, until she’d watched him brush a kiss over his daughter's forehead and place her in her crib.

  She’d known at that exact instant that she had to leave. Soon. If anything was even more dangerous to her heart than the sight of Zarek, after so long, it was the sight of Zarek with his child. He’d handled the little girl with such tenderness, even in that brief moment. She’d all but fled, heading straight for the door as she’d pulled up the booking sight on her phone.

  But now, as she sat across from him, Scarlett found herself unable to meet his eyes. She could feel him staring at her from his place across the table. The food was good, but in all honesty, the only thing she wanted to do was leave.

  They’d sat there in silence for nearly ten minutes before Zarek spoke, obviously trying again. “Thank you for coming to be with Evie until I could get here.”

  “You’re welcome.” Manners were drilled into her from the time she was a child by her mother. But right now, she wanted to throw the plate of food directly at him. She wanted to yell, to scream, to tell him how badly he’d hurt her, how vastly unfair he’d been. But fuck, even she couldn’t do that to him right now, not after the day he’d had. She couldn’t bring herself to that cruel to him, no matter how much he might deserve it.

  That tense silence descended once more, and he cleared his throat. “Do you want some of the crab rangoon? I know you like them, so I got extra.”

  Scarlett swallowed hard and gripped the chopsticks she held more tightly. “Don’t.”

  “What? Try to feed you? You’re too skinny.” Zarek sounded just like he always had, and Scarlett couldn’t take it anymore.

  “Don
’t try to play the perfect host. I appreciate dinner, but let’s not pretend like this…” She waved her free hand between them, trying to get her point across. “… is some normal dinner between friends.”

  Zarek’s voice was harder. “Thank God.” He exhaled, and for the first time, she heard something akin to relief in his voice. Scarlett lifted her gaze to his face, to find those eerie silver eyes locked to her, and she read true emotion there for the first time since he’d followed her to the door. “I can deal with anger, but I can’t deal with silence. I’ll stop pretending this is a normal dinner between friends if you’ll stop trying to act like we’re strangers.”

  “We are strangers, Zarek.” She shot back, dropping the chopsticks to her plate. “We haven’t had a real conversation in two years. I don’t know you anymore than you know me these days.”

  “I know.” His eyes flashed for a moment, and she watched as he reached for his beer, tipping the bottle up to take a long pull. When he set it back down, his fingers wrapped around the neck, toying with it in that way he’d used to do to distract himself when he was uncomfortable. “I know.” He repeated quietly, and then he drew in a deep breath. “I know I fucked up.”

  “Yeah. You did.” She answered him without hesitation. All her good intentions to spare him the added stress of this conversation on this, the worst day she could pick for it, now flew away in the face of his stubborn insistence of talking about the past.

  She watched as his tongue appeared, wetting his lips nervously before he brought his eyes to hers once more. “I want to fix it. Or at least try.”