by C. B. Stagg
“Jill and I have something we’d like to say to all of you, but to one of you in particular.” Then they called me up to the head of the table. “Our sweet Rebecca… ” His eyes started to water and fear struck me right in the gut. This is it. They’re done, and this is my goodbye dinner. I couldn’t breathe as I grasped the chairback in front of me to keep from falling over.
“We’ve had the pleasure of being your parents for the last nine months, when we were thrown headfirst into the world of parenting, with a teenage girl, no less.” That got giggles from the group.
Who could laugh at a time like this?
“And we’ve made an important decision.” He looked me straight in the eyes, before cupping my face and saying, “Rebecca, we’d be honored if you’d agree to let Jill and myself formally adopt you and make you part of our family forever. You’ve already stolen our hearts. We’d like to give you our name to go along with them.”
The ugly cry came on fast and furious, with a nod of my head, cheers from the group, and bear hugs from both Jill and Bennett. After I had been released from their grasps, I sought out Jase with my eyes. He held up his glass to me, and I blew him a kiss as he gave me a wink. The incredible life I was now leading was all because of him.
“Family picture!” I heard Marian yell and then, “Becky, get over there with your mom and dad so I can get a picture for the scrapbook.”
Mom and dad? In my wildest dreams, I could never have imagined something so wonderful happening to me.
For the first time ever, I had a family.
That night, when I snuck into Jase’s room, he was waiting up for me. “Look at that, it’s Becky Hanson, the one and only.” He was smiling ear to ear, and I laughed.
“I know, right? I still can’t believe it.” I sighed, shaking my head. I just couldn’t understand how anyone could actually want me.
“I don’t know why it comes as such a shock,” he whispered, while I crawled into bed. He stretched to turn off the lamp. “It’s impossible to be around you and not fall in love with you.”
I’d just gotten comfortable, my back to his front, but when he said that, I whipped around. His face was stone-cold serious as he searched my face for a reaction. “Bec, I think I need—”
I held up my finger to stop his sentence. I had a feeling I knew what was coming, and there are some things you just can’t unhear.
“Jase, stop… ”
But he just shook his head and pulled me closer to him, never breaking eye contact until our noses were touching. “No, I’ve stopped myself for months. I’m sick of stopping.” His hand wandered to the back of my head, and he closed the last bit of space between us, placing his soft lips to mine.
Chapter 20
Jase
I WAS READY TO CLAIM what was mine. I’d spent months telling myself that adding a relationship to Becky’s already unstable life was selfish of me and unfair to her. But then the Hansons decided to adopt her, as I knew they would. They’d actually decided months before, but as their attorney, my mom strongly recommended they hire a private investigator to rule out the existence of any family members who may contest the adoption.
In announcing their intent to formally adopt, Bennett and Jill had instantly brought security and stability to Becky’s life, eliminating all excuses for why I shouldn’t at least make my feelings for her known. I waited up for her that night, then made my move.
She pulled back from the kiss after a few stunned seconds. “What are you doing?” The words came out soft and breathy. Her pulse was visible on her neck, and it was racing. Her body, which had been pressed against me before, felt new and different. Goose bumps broke out along her arms.
“I’m doing what I’ve wanted to do since I caught you in my shed. I’m kissing you, but if you don’t want that… ” I stopped talking because there was no need to finish that statement. The way her body wrapped and clung to mine told me everything I needed to know.
“No, I didn’t say that. I’m just… I’m scared. What if it messes up whatever this is between us? What if your mom finds out? What about Bennett and Jill—I mean, my mom and dad?” She rolled flat on her back and stared at the ceiling while she ran her hand through her hair. “God, that sounds so weird.”
It had been an emotional day for Becky, and her mind was working overtime, analyzing every possible outcome. That was her way; she was analytical by nature. It was one of the many things I loved about her.
“Well… ” I moved to place my forehead against hers, and we stared at each other, nose to nose. “We just won’t tell them.” It was an easy enough solution.
She seemed to like that answer. This time, it was her move and she leaned in to kiss my nose, then planted a soft peck on my mouth. “I’ve dreamed of this, you know… ”
I looked at her beautiful face hovering above mine, and nodded because I did know. “I’ve wanted to touch you like this since the very first time you slept in my arms.”
She grinned and nipped my chin. “Jase? I need you to make me a promise.”
I grabbed her by the hips and dragged her body over mine until she was sitting up, straddling my midsection. I consciously anchored my hands to the curve of her waist so they wouldn’t be even more tempted to drift than they already were. “Anything,” I whispered up to her.
“I’ve given you my heart. You’ve had it for a while now. I just need you to promise to keep it safe.” Her face was serious and her eyes pierced holes into my soul.
I sighed, wondering if that was a promise I could make at seventeen years old. The future was anyone’s guess, so I made a commitment I knew I could keep. “Bec, I will never, ever do anything to hurt you or make you cry.”
We spent what felt like hours kissing and exploring each other. It’s not that every other night hadn’t ended up with our bodies tangled up, but until this moment, it had been platonic.
Which was a lie.
Because for me, it had never been platonic. And if Becky was honest, I think she’d agree it hadn’t been for her either. The difference now was that our feelings were out there. The words had been said.
And there was no going back.
I vaguely heard the 5:30 alarm go off, for just a millisecond before it was silenced. What I did hear, though, were Bec’s parting words. “I love you, Jase Pearson. More than anything or anyone in this whole terrifying world, I love you.” She kissed me softly on the lips and then disappeared into the night—back to her home, back to her bed—which was situated not one hundred feet from mine.
The following week, I found a box of condoms in the drawer beside my bed. It was apparent we hadn’t been as sneaky as we’d thought.
Chapter 21
Becky
THE BEGINNING OF MY senior year was met with lots of changes.
First, I had parents. Real, live parents. A man and a woman I called Dad and Mom.
Second, I had a new last name. By Christmas, I was officially Becky Hanson, though I’d been using the name since the day my parents told me they wanted me forever. I’d never been prouder than I was the first time I wrote my full name. I’d been thinking about it, and I wondered if my last name was Johns because my mom knew that one of her ‘johns’ had fathered me. It sounded ridiculous, but it was just screwed up enough to be something my mom would have done.
And third, I had a boyfriend. He was a secret boyfriend, but he was a real, living, breathing boyfriend. At first, I’d used my transition from fostering to adoption as an excuse to hide our relationship. But in truth, I was scared.
Every day I lived in fear that Toby Carraway would hunt me down and make good on his threat to kill me. He was a violent man and clearly had connections. The police still hadn’t apprehended him after the escape, and an investigation uncovered he’d had help from inside the prison.
Jase was honest and caring, smart and disciplined. He was everything I could ever want, and I was falling head over heels in love with him. There was no way I was going to let any harm come to him.
“Okay, let’s talk about prom.” It was only January, but Casey wanted to go all out for our senior prom and wanted Jase and me to be a part of it. “Jase, who are you askin’?” I chanced a look at Jase from the back seat of his newish truck. Casey was riding shotgun.
“Um, I’m not sure. Prom isn’t really my thing, and there’s no one I’m really interested in, so… ”
He was visibly squirming. Poor guy was uncomfortable lying to his best friend. I was too. But I had my reasons to keep what we had to ourselves for now, and Jase respected my feelings on the matter, so telling Casey wasn’t an option. That boy’s mouth was bigger than his appetite.
“Hey, Bec, what about you? I heard Sean was planning on asking you.” Sean was the older brother of Casey’s girlfriend, Lacey. He was just about as dumb as she was, and there was no way I’d go to Taco Bell with that idiot, much less the prom. No, I knew I’d only say yes to one person, and he couldn’t even ask me.
“Nah, I’m good. No offense, but that guy’s an ass. I think I’ll just stay home.” Maybe, with Casey occupied, Jase and I could sneak off to a movie or something.
“Man, y’all suck!” It was silent for a few minutes, then, “Here, I’ve got an idea. You,” Casey looked at Jase, “think you’re too good for all the girls in school, and you,” he looked at me, “think boys are gross, so why don’t you two just go together? You know, as friends? Then I can spend the evening with my girlfriend and my two best friends.” Casey looked satisfied with his solution, crossing his arms over his broad chest like he’d just solved world hunger.
My eyes bore holes into the back of Jase’s head. Finally, after at least an hour, or two minutes, Jase said. “Okay… ” Then, all dramatic and with a terrible British accent, “Rebecca, my darling, would you do me the honor of letting me escort you to the last high school prom we’ll ever have the privilege of being invited to?” I laughed and thanked my lucky stars that once again, I was totally winning at life. “Well, of course, darling,” I replied, playing the part, but meaning every word. “I’d be delighted.”
Chapter 22
Jase
WHEN BECKY SNEAKED INTO my room the night I asked her to prom, I sensed something had changed. Her nighttime attire, which usually consisted of an oversized T-shirt and flannel shorts or pants, given the season… had suddenly become a skintight thermal shirt and even tighter yoga pants. Her generous curves were on full display and immediately started to create what was sure to be an awkward situation for both of us if I didn’t get my jaw off the floor and regain control. I sat up against the headboard and discreetly pulled a pillow into my lap.
“Jase?” she asked as she settled in beside me. “You could have asked any girl in the entire school to prom, and you know very well they’d have said yes. I see the way they all look at you. Why did you ask me?”
I had become more familiar with a confident, even cocky Becky, so it threw me when the insecure, shy Bec came out. “I asked you, Rebecca Hanson, because, well, I love you and… ”
She flipped the pillow out of her way and straddled me, silencing my words with her lips, effectively ending the conversation. It was incredible to see her take over like this, but if this welcomed assault on my body didn’t end soon, the way her body affected mine wouldn’t stay a secret for long.
Becky’s kisses, which started as simple and sweet as they’d always been, rapidly picked up in speed and intensity. I wrapped both arms around her to pull her flush against me.
“God,” she yearned, after stealing all my air, bruising my lips, and paralyzing my lungs. “I just can’t seem to get enough of you tonight.” Her breaths were coming faster, warm air tickling my face, and I could feel her heart knocking against my chest. She laced her fingers into my hair and began to move as desire poured from her being. I was being swept up in it, self-control be damned.
We’d spent the last several months innocently kissing, pressing our bodies close to one another, but always holding tight to first base. Kisses had stayed calm, clothing stayed put, and what few touches there were had remained innocent. It became startlingly clear, however, things were about to change.
“Bec, wait… ” I held her flushed face inches from mine and looked her straight in the eye. She panted into my face and smelled of cinnamon toothpaste. “Are you sure?” I managed to gasp out the words between breaths as I watched her tongue dart out of her mouth to wet her perfect lips.
“I’m sick of waiting,” she whispered, running her nose up and down my neck. Her hot breath sent electricity all the way down to my toes. “I love you.” Her swollen lips nipped mine. “I’ve always loved you. And I want you. No,” she shook her head, “I need you.”
I melted.
And when she started rolling her hips against me with only a few scraps of fabric separating us, all sense and reason flew right out the window. I grabbed the hem of her shirt and ripped it over her head in one swift motion, resulting in the momentary separation of our bodies. The loss of her touch was almost painful, but the result was completely worth it.
Seeing Becky like that for the first time, touching her smooth, sweat-slicked skin, cinched a belt of desire around my heart. This night was so much more than just two lovesick teenagers baring our bodies to each other for the first time. We were baring our souls, offering them up for the other to see, touch, explore. That night, she was mine and I was hers.
Tilting her arched body back to gain access, I dipped my head, allowing my tongue to trace a line from the hollow of her neck, between her breasts, ending my exploration at her belly button. We were letting things go too far, and I knew I needed to stop this before it snowballed out of control, but I wasn’t sure how to fight the need to possess her.
Becky was gifting her body to me, freely and completely, perfectly wrapped in the most stunning package. And all I wanted to do was unwrap her and dive inside. I took in her beautiful face, eyes closed tight and wet lips parted. She was so sexy and so incredibly vulnerable, but it was hard to ignore her shaky hands. She wasn’t ready for something like this, and without knowing that much about her history, it was hard to say when she ever would be. I blew on her neck, and she looked into my eyes, her soul inviting mine to love her completely. Instead, I gently flipped her over, guiding her head to the pillow, before leaning up on my elbow to look down on her.
“Why did you stop?” she whimpered with the voice of a child, which made me wonder if I’d hurt her by slowing things down.
“I stopped,” I said, tracing her cheek with one finger as I nipped her quivering chin, “because when I touch you and taste your beautiful body, I feel like I’m falling into the deepest part of the ocean, completely unafraid, but knowing I may not be able to swim.”
Tears slid from the corners of her eyes, rolling down her temples and into her hair. I wiped them away with the pad of my thumb. “Baby, I want to make love to you more than I want air to breathe right now, but… ” I stopped to collect my thoughts. “Look, I don’t know a lot about your past and what you’ve been through and I don’t want to be that guy… the one who took advantage of the sweet, innocent girl who wasn’t ready. Plus, we’re so young, you know? Once we take that leap, there’s no going back. This isn’t something we can have a do over on. Does that make sense?”
She nodded, and I laid back, pulling her onto me as I cradled her half-naked body in the crook of my arm, our virtue living to see another day.
“But I promise you when that day comes… ”
She’d been holding her breath and when she released it, I felt her body relax, so I stopped midthought. Allowing myself to think about the day Becky finally became mine completely would put a serious strain on what little self-control I was holding on to, and I wanted more for Becky than that. So I settled in, awed by the power of skin-to-skin contact, and praying the steps taken tonight wouldn’t eventually tear us apart.
Our senior prom never happened. Well, the actual prom happened, but Casey, Becky, and I weren’t a part of it. Tra
gedy struck our little trio.
I was bored to death in anatomy and physiology when I saw someone waving frantically through the window of the classroom door. Becky clearly needed my attention.
My hand shot up. “Mr. Winters, I need to use the restroom.” By the time he actually gave me permission, I was already packed up and headed out the door.
“What the hell, Bec? I’m having a hard enough time in Winter’s cl—” She’d already grabbed my hand and started dragging me out to the parking lot. “Where are we going?”
“Your truck. Unlock it. We need to find him.” We piled into my truck.
“Who, Becky? Slow down and tell me what the hell is going on. I’m not understanding, and you’re scaring me.”
“Go toward the bayou, to the land where we shoot off fireworks.” Once we were headed in the right direction, Becky began quickly talking.
“Lacey got pregnant. Casey found out about it by overhearing the news in the hallway.” She was sitting on her hands, but her legs were bouncing up and down, shaking the entire cab of the truck.
“I heard something about that this morning, but I wasn’t sure which Lacey. And in the version I heard, she had an abor—”
“But, if that’s true, why wouldn’t he tell us?” I felt like a hypocrite, expecting him to be forthright with everything in his personal life when he knew practically nothing about mine.
“That’s just it.” She fell against the seat, relaxing for the first time since we’d been driving. “She never told him… about the baby or the abortion. And when he confronted her this morning, he lost his shit and tore out of the parking lot like a bat outta hell.”