The Best Mistakes (The Amherst Sinners Series Book 3)

by Elena Monroe

  Tall, dangerous, and handsome.

  Times two.

  The Amherst Sinners Series Book Three

  Elena Monroe

  © 2019 by Elena Monroe. All rights reserved.

  No portion of this book, except for brief review, may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or otherwise—without the written consent and permission of the publisher.

  This is a work of fiction. Characters, names, dialogues, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, whether living or dead, businesses, locales, or events other than those specifically cited, are unintentional and purely coincidental or are used for the purpose of illustration only.

  The publisher and author assume no responsibility for errors, omissions, or contrary interpretation of the subject matter herein. The author and publisher assume no responsibility or liability whatsoever on the behalf of any purchaser or reader of these materials. The publisher and author do not have any control over and do not assume any responsibility for third party websites or their content.

  First edition.

  George –

  We overcame the obstacles, trials, and tribulations, because sometimes love hurts before it feels good and being your wife – feels so damn good.

  Girl Gang –

  Everyone needs one, and I’m pretty proud to say these ladies are boss.

  @ashob1229

  @liz_argote

  @ang_b_wrtting

  @books.by.gabriela

  @sarahwa_

  @thatgrltabi

  Ash –

  Girl. You started a company since this series started. Pinch me. How are we all doing this?! I am proud to be your first customer and friend! The teasers for this book were AMAZING, the merch is SICK, and I am here for everything. I will support you until the end of days.

  Liz –

  You. I can’t thank you enough for listening to my rants, defending these characters along with me, giving me feedback, reading endless drafts with all my editing errors, and proofing final copies making sure it’s perfect. I am so thankful for everything, but mostly, knowing you in this journey.

  Sarajoy –

  Seriously, I don’t know how to say it. You have been a godsend in this journey, and I am crossing every digit that you never leave me. You have polished me in a way that sticks with me while I write, making me better, and making me grow. Thank you for watering me with your wisdom.

  Maria at Steamy Reads –

  You make magic out of covers. I wouldn’t ask for anything more! I can’t wait to make more beautiful covers!

  Give Me Books PR –

  You guys have made me one loyal bitch. You guys make the promoting, blitz, all things PR so smooth. I will never use another company. I cannot wait to continue to release books with y’all!

  The Rule Breakers –

  You know who you are, and every little post, like, hand crafted photos, and messages indulging me to talk out everything Sinners related made EVERY DIFFERENCE. You guys rock, seriously. I am so thankful for the support and love. It feels endless, and I hope you all feel how much I love y’all in return!

  Elena Monroe grew up in Florida, scribbling down stories from a very young age. These stories were really just wavy lines filling the paper. But she knew each word, each emotion, each character’s name, and there was no tricking her into forgetting what each line signified. Just like her unconventional way of writing as a toddler, Elena is setting her own rules and just telling stories.

  Much like her debut novel, The Best Years, life certainly imitated art. Transplanting from the South to the East Coast, Elena currently lives in Connecticut with her husband, reformed bad boy.

  Tell stories, no rules. Become a rule breaker.

  Elena is currently writing The Celestial Bodies Series. Stay tuned.

  Find her on her social media through Twitter at @elenamonroe, Instagram at @elenamonroewrites, Facebook at @elenamonroewrites, and more!

  Bahari – ““

  Rynn – “Crowded Places”

  Jonas Brothers – “Greenlight”

  Demi Lovato – “Only Forever”

  Kelsea Ballerini – “Miss Me More”

  OneRepublic – “Start Again”

  Lil Peep – “Cry Alone”

  Shy Martin – “Out Of My Hands”

  Bring Me The Horizon – “Mother Tongue”

  Slaves – “Heavier”

  Prologue - Layla

  Chapter 1 - Layla

  Chapter 2 - Layla

  Chapter 3 - Layla

  Chapter 4 - Oliver

  Chapter 5 - Layla

  Chapter 6 - Oliver

  Chapter 7 - Oliver

  Chapter 8 - Layla

  Chapter 9 - Layla

  Chapter 10 - Oliver

  Chapter 11 - Layla

  Chapter 12 - Oliver

  Chapter 13 - Addileigh

  Chapter 14 - Layla

  Chapter 15 - Oliver

  Chapter 16 - Oliver

  Chapter 17 - Hunter

  Chapter 18 - Layla

  Chapter 19 - Oliver

  Chapter 20 - Layla

  Chapter 21 - Liz

  Chapter 22 - Oliver

  Chapter 23 - Oliver

  Chapter 24 - Layla

  Chapter 25 - Addileigh

  Chapter 26 - Oliver

  Chapter 27 - Oliver

  Chapter 28 - Oliver

  Chapter 29 - Layla

  Chapter 30 - Oliver

  Epilogues – All Sinners

  More by Elena Monroe

  N one of us were equipped to deal with the news of Oliver being a dad, not because we were just stepping into adulthood, but because Oliver was the least likely to ever desire children of his own.

  Isn’t that when life throws us the one thing we don’t like: when we aren’t ready for it?

  That night was still etched into my mind, like a haunting memory, forcing you to remember. My mind, heart, and I were on the same page. We knew there was no forgetting your first loves, especially when they got away.

  The Sinners all stuck by his side, the bond of their sins still alive and well. I tried to be there for him too, for as long as I could at least—for as long as I could bear hearing my heart crack right inside my chest. The one person I wanted to hear it was blissfully unaware.

  We did end up staying together that summer, until our space and arguing stomped out every moment other than our animalistic need to conquer each other in bed. It was all we had left to hold onto—the only thing that worked anymore.

  Between his newly discovered son, Jade, and getting sober again, his plate was pretty full. For months, I acted like pure decoration in his life. I gave him space and patiently waited my turn, which rarely ever came. I convinced myself time would change our situation. He just needed to figure out how to be a dad, to co-parent, and make up for lost time with his son. The last thing he wanted was to be a version of his own dad. I made sure my patience was extra thick for that reason.

  As for me…? Well, I just needed something to hold onto—anything. Every time I asked him to come to bed, my voice sounded desperate. I hated myself for it, but I wasn’t the type to give up on people. I carried them with me until the dead weight crushed parts of me I knew I would never get back. He still wasn’t sleeping next to me at night, no matter how desperate I sounded. Instead, he always fell asleep in a random chair around his place instead.

  We held on for almost another year, before we called it quits. Well, I didn’t give
him much choice. I left quickly and quietly, not taking up time or space. He didn’t have time for either.

  One year of falling in love and one year of falling out something, but I was sure it wasn’t the love. That shit stained me in a way that was permanent.

  He never did forgive Aspen for being the one texting him anonymously, threateningly, and pressuring him to come clean about his sobriety. Their previously strained relationship became unbearable to even be around. No one even asked how he knew; we were all too distracted. And this version of him, guilt free and winning Maddison over, was less apologetic.

  We were still getting to know him again, and it was shocking how much he hid under his shame.

  After we broke up, school became my focus—my only focus. I poured myself into my textbooks, only stopping to work my coffeeshop shifts or when Hunter, Elizabeth, or Maddison pulled me away—or more like dragged me, against my will.

  I grew a body part I didn’t know I needed until the amputation of Oliver: my heart.

  A year flew by without Oliver, until he graduated with the rest of the Sinners, leaving me, Maddison, and Hunter behind to finish our college experience without the awkward limbo of avoiding certain people at different times. Dropping his class and not frequenting the coffeeshop, unless I was working, both helped. The Sinners leaving cleansed the air, and I could finally take a deep breath. My lungs expanded in a way they hadn’t since that night. If I breathed too deeply, I’d become more aware—a new reality I had to accept.

  That was the last thing I wanted—that wasn’t the opposite of remembering.

  I wanted to forget.

  F ive years, one month, and three days after the bonfire from hell, I made my best mistakes…

  It had been five years since I graduated college with high honors and the confidence to walk into any room demanding a future employer’s attention. Only that never really happened. I made it into the rooms and through the interviews, but nothing was simple after college ended. We all desired to get out into the real world, but the real world chewed us up and spit us out, before we could realize college was our safe haven.

  Even with a 4.1 GPA, all the right extracurriculars, and working three out of my four years, I still didn’t have an edge in any interview pool. My competition had all the same accomplishments, but with extras, like fluent in mandarin, more stamps in their passports, and a network of heavy hitters helping them succeed. There was no competition. I was there to justify that they gave everyone a fair shot.

  The version of myself that existed with Oliver faded, molding into the innocent parts I used to be uncomfortable with. Losing Oliver forced me to finally love myself in a way I never did before.

  I forever thanked him for that parting gift.

  Now I was some kind of blended version, where it was too hard to see the difference between innocent, flawed, and sinner. I mastered them all as soon as I loved myself.

  My morning started the same way every morning. I tossed and turned until five a.m., not able to sleep, still, just for other reasons now. I convinced myself all the extra beauty rest from college left me restless now. All my sleepless hours were spent reading and blocking out my roommate’s festivities.

  I moved to Boston with Maddison right after graduation to a large loft apartment minutes from Lawn D and the Seaport. I turned her down a half dozen times, before I caved. I knew the rent was out of my price range, as a newly graduated student with student loans to worry about now. Her dad had connections—ones that got us the loft for a discounted price. Maddison didn’t confess this was the last handout she was taking, until after I had unpacked. She severed herself from the small fortune she was rewarded for graduating. She wanted to make it on her own, and I couldn’t understand why.

  I was working at a bookshop, still looking for the perfect job to commit to. I had been applying everywhere I could, but every opportunity fizzled into failure when they saw I had no experience. I was in a position that craved connection, help, and powerful parents. I started over here, and as a result, I was on my own.

  She wanted the challenge—the freedom.

  I switched the Keurig coffee maker on, since I was always the first up. I sat at the kitchen island with my book, a fresh cup of coffee, and fruit bowl, wasting time until I could leave for work. The bookshop didn’t open until 9:30, and the opening duties never took long. The shop had one register, and I was one of four employees. It was small, but we became a destination in Boston, with our coffeeshop and guest author spotlights I arranged. I took pride in my work, even if it wasn’t using my overpriced degree. Instead, I was changing the world one book at a time.

  I never lost touch with any of the Sinners; our worlds moved along each other, forcing us together like fate. The only person I never saw after he graduated was Oliver. He was the only one who didn’t move to Boston, yet I still looked for his face on every crowded street.

  Maddison poured out of her side of the loft in her satin shorts and tank top. We were comfortable around each other—so comfortable I was the only other person besides Aspen who had seen all the scars on her perfectly long, lean legs. Even when Boston boiled, Maddison refused to wear shorts. She was ashamed of her imperfections.

  Aspen always trailed behind her, waiting for a few minutes, as if I was unaware he stayed over and didn’t wanna spook me. He walked up behind her, taking her in with a strong inhale and his arms around her. I watched his lips leave the lightest kisses on her neck before he said morning to us both. Seeing them together made me miss Oliver even more—his touch, his smile… his everything.

  Aspen waited for his coffee to brew and poured it into the mug. “Did you ask her yet?”

  Maddison let out a sigh. “Aspen! Not yet!”

  I perked up, waiting to be included, since it was directed towards me.

  “We’re both dying to know. Are you coming tonight?”

  The invitation sat next to my bed, mocking me for months now. Every morning I would see the navy blue invitation, embossed and covered in blooming flowers. I already sent my RSVP, I knew I would come to my senses, even if I didn’t want to. Elizabeth was celebrating getting engaged to Leon, and I was her maid of honor.

  The same Leon she used to make Oliver jealous in college, except this time it wasn’t a malicious plan; it was love. We kept in touch and went for drinks when we could. Elizabeth saw Leon at a bar one night, and their one night stand turned into coffee the next morning, dinner that night, and even more orgasms. They were perfect for each other—both powerful and influential, to the point of intimidation.

  “I don’t know yet.”

  Her wide eyes almost made me feel bad. “It’s tonight, Layla!” she scolded me.

  “I don’t wanna see him.”

  Aspen choked on his coffee, trying to stay composed. We all knew I was lying. All I wanted was to see him, but not if we couldn’t be us again. I didn’t want to see him happy with Jade and his son. I didn’t want to the jilted women in the room everyone pitied. Knowing Elizabeth, she would make sure each Sinner was present, making a lot of people there that I would need to convince I was fine.

  Aspen kissed the side of Maddison’s face, pressing his lips against her temple before he left us alone to get ready for work himself. His internship turned into a job offer and recently a partnership track, while he finished law school within the next couple of years. He was thriving.

  It made me wonder how Maddison wasn’t the first engaged at the tender age of twenty-four. Maybe he was waiting for her to find stability. Maddison went through jobs like she did clothing, leaving the dirty fabric on the floor without regret if something new and shiny came around. Right now, she was working as an assistance for some powerful money mover. It was the longest commitment yet.

  She wasted no time, looking to make sure Aspen was out of hearing range. “You know they aren’t together, so why are you torturing yourself? You guys could still work.”

  I had heard five years’ worth of “what ifs.” “Things change Ma
ddison. I really wish you’d stop looking at me like my puppy died or something.”

  That was how she looked at me every time the Sinners or Oliver came up, like someone died. Something did die: my hope. Her scrutiny only made it harder to forget.

  “Things didn’t have to change. He just has a son.”

  I slammed my hands down on the counter—frustration building too quickly to control. “With Jade. If he could have us all, then why didn’t we work, Maddison? Since you know so much more than any of us.”

  She stammered and danced around words meant to fill in the gaps between statements. I scared her into submission, even when I didn’t mean to.

  “You know how it was. I wasn’t on his priority list anymore. I was living alone in his place, begging for any kind of attention or conversation. The only part of us that wasn’t broken was the sex, and he doesn’t even need me for that.”

  We both knew who he was before me: a playboy with a bad attitude and an enthralling smile. It made me sound selfish knowing he was building new relationships, while I begged for attention too. I wanted balance and to also matter in some way.

  I left Maddison biting her lip, with her eyebrows un-uniformed, all rumpled into worry. I sat down at the window, looking down at the city and all the people, as I held the beautiful invitation in my hand. I swiped my phone to unlock it, and I texted Liz first. I forced myself to text her, saying I would be there. Then, I texted Hunter.

  Me: What are you doing tonight?

  He texted back almost immediately, still leaving enough time to open Instagram and see if Oliver broke down and created a profile. He was a ghost to the internet. The only way to know was to ask, and if you wanted to see him, you would have to make the drive to Amherst.

  Hunter: Whatever you want me to?

  Me: Good. Tonight, Supper Club, 8.

  Hunter: Any hints?

  Me: All your favorite Sinners. Liz’s engagement party.

  Hunter: Seriously?