by Knight, Amie
He didn’t just lick. He didn’t just suck. No, Adam devoured me.
“Fuck. Just like I remember,” he groaned, sucking my clit hard into his mouth and lashing at it with his tongue.
“Don’t stop. Don’t stop,” I chanted again and again, and I swear I felt him smile against me, but I didn’t care. I hadn’t had an orgasm that wasn’t self-inspired in a long time and definitely not one as good as I knew was coming.
“Oh, baby, I’m not stopping until you come all over my face.” And then a finger probed at my core, pushing in as he still licked and sucked me. “So wet and tight,” he rumbled, his mouth against my pussy.
One finger and then two filled me up, pumping into me while his mouth consumed me. I trembled everywhere from the tips of my toes to the top of my head.
Filthy sounds echoed off the room’s walls, only sending me higher. His low, grumbly grunts, my breathy moans, the salacious sounds of his fingers fucking me. It was sexy and dirty, and I’d never been so damn turned on and angry in my life.
And I knew I’d lost all rational thought when I leaned up, grabbing his hair again, and ground my wetness all over his face. Again and again.
Adam turned his face to the side and kissed my thigh before looking up at me. “That’s right, baby. Fuck my face. Fuck it until you come.” And then he was back at it, sucking and licking and fucking me with his fingers. I was red hot, my nipples tiny beads beneath my bra, sweat at the small of my back. I wrapped my legs over his shoulders and around his neck, crossing them at the ankles, and did just what he said. I fucked his face. Like a mad woman. Like I’d lost my mind. I bucked and groaned, and I didn’t even have the inclination to be embarrassed. I just wanted and needed to come more than I needed my next breath.
“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck,” I repeated on a whisper as the orgasm started at my core and radiated throughout my body, sending a series of shivers and tingles everywhere. My body locked tight, my ankles and legs holding Adam immobile, but that didn’t stop him from licking me down, drawing every bit of my orgasm out of me he could, savoring every bit of wetness from me.
When the orgasm finally ebbed, I loosened my legs from around Adam’s neck and stared at the ceiling until my labored breathing returned to normal. It was then that the reality of the situation came crashing down on me like a ton of bricks. I could have screamed. If I thought this situation sucked before, it was definitely going to suck now. Because I’d messed around with my ex-boyfriend, my boss, who was also keeping secrets from me, which essentially meant he was a liar.
“I can’t believe we just did that,” I muttered to myself, but Adam had no problem hearing me.
“I can.” He shrugged himself back into his jacket while I lay there with my damn skirt up around my waist. I was a trollop. Oh, dear Lord. I wondered if everyone in the office knew I was a trollop, too. Had they heard?
He grabbed my hands, pulling me up until I was sitting on the edge of his desk, my bare ass cold.
“You ripped my panties,” I whispered. I would have to work the rest of the day with no panties.
He smirked. “I did. And I have no regrets.” The bastard looked smug and he had every right to. I’d let him eat me on his desk at work. I was going to hell.
He pulled me off the desk and into standing position before pulling my skirt straight and then pushing the hair back off my forehead. “There. Perfect,” he said, kissing the top of my head.
His eyes stared down at me questioningly. “Do you feel better now?”
Did I feel better now? I’d just made another huge mistake. It seemed like I was the queen of those when it came to Adam, but at least I wasn’t up for kicking anyone’s ass or crying anymore, so yeah, I guess I did feel a bit better.
I sighed. “I guess.”
He wrapped his arms around my waist. “What was wrong this morning? I saw you fly through here looking like you were in tears first thing.”
I didn’t even try to hide it from him. There was no point. Adam had always seen my truth. He still did. “I went to the field this morning. I don’t know why. I just felt like I should.”
The cute crinkle in the middle of his forehead was out. “And?”
A burning in my nose told me tears weren’t far off, but I sucked them back. I was done crying today. “Someone bought it. Looks like they are cleaning it and building something.”
He studied my face before pulling me in for a long hug. “It’s gonna be okay, Livvy. I promise.”
Livvy. I hadn’t heard that in a very long time. I leaned into his hug even though I knew from experience what promises were worth. After all, I promised him years ago in the dunes that I’d never let anyone keep me from him and he promised me under the stars that he’d never leave me. There was only one constant in my life and it was promises, and I knew they were made to be broken.
“YOU LOOK LIKE THE INCREDIBLE Hulk sitting there, you know that, right?” Raven asked from her spot across from me on the couch.
I pulled at my tie and adjusted my dress jacket. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” I was irrationally angry. Ever since the day in my office, Liv had been avoiding me. I mean, she was always avoiding me, but it seemed the harder I tried to pull her closer, the farther away she wanted to get.
So, I’d stopped by Raven’s after work today to hang out with her and, well, to see what Liv was up to, but she wasn’t home and it was after nine and I was going to lose my damn mind.
“It means you look like you wanna burst out of that suit in a blind rage and destroy this apartment with only your hands.”
Oh, well, she wasn’t too far off the mark, so I only nodded and took another drink of my third beer. “Where the hell is she?”
Raven smiled around her wine glass. “Ah, now we’re getting to it.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I lied.
She laughed. “I knew if I plied you with enough alcohol, you would tell me what’s going on.”
She was right. I wasn’t a big drinker. I didn’t like not being in control. But I’d sat down to have a beer with Raven and chat while I waited on Liv to come home from wherever the hell she was and now it had been three hours and I was almost done with beer. And I was anxious and angry and loose-lipped. And I fucking wanted Liv to come home so I could kiss the shit out of her. Everywhere. Especially between her legs. I licked my lips.
“Wow, you’re looking a little excited there, friend.”
My face heated. “When do you think Liv is going to be home and where the hell do you think she is?”
She laughed again. “Wow, we’re just cutting to the chase now and it only took three hours.”
I gulped the rest of my beer.
“Whoa, take it easy there, big guy.” Raven went into the kitchen and threw the bottle in the recycling bin and came back with another. “You want this beer?” She waggled it in front of my face. “Then tell me what the hell you moved to the island for.”
I snatched the open beer from her hand. “Too slow.” I mocked. I took a swig. “I moved to the island because I’m rich as fuck and I can.”
Raven rolled her eyes. “Okay, lover boy. You don’t wanna tell me why you moved to the island, then tell me what’s going on with you and Liv. I haven’t been able to get shit out of her.” She poured herself another glass of wine.
I said the first thing that came to mind. “She still wears the ring.” She wore that damn thing every day. I paid attention now. It was always on her left hand ring finger. Right where my wedding ring might have been if we hadn’t been ripped apart.
Raven gave me a soft, sad smile. “She does,” she agreed. “What do you think it means?”
I swallowed, fucking overwhelmed. Even in my half-drunken haze, I knew. I felt it down to my bones. She loved me still, maybe? Or maybe she was open to loving me again. She hadn’t forgotten me or us or the stars, even if she didn’t want to look at them anymore. “She came. She came to see me in prison. They told her I wouldn’t see her.” My heart
broke when I thought about my Luna coming to see me and thinking I didn’t want to see her. It made me feel sick. “I’d never turn her away.”
I was just blabbing now, but I couldn’t stop. “They wanted to keep us apart. They did. And now, I think she still wants me.”
Raven set her wine down on the table and scooted closer to me. “And do you still want her?”
I didn’t hesitate. “Yes.” God, I wanted her. She was all I could think about. When I should have been watching and keeping an eye and fucking researching things, the things I’d come here to do, instead I was only thinking of her. When I’d see her next. If she’d let me kiss her again or if she’d fight me. My motives for coming home were being thrown by the wayside for this girl. She was doing it again, just like she’d done it ten years ago. She was bewitching me. I wanted to kiss her, hold her, fucking just spend time with her, but she hid from me and it infuriated me.
Raven’s hand covered mine that sat in my lap. She squeezed it. “If you want her, then you need to give her time. Take it slow. Give her some space.”
I shook my head, wracked with emotion. Didn’t she know I couldn’t do that? I gave her the truth. I pulled my heart right out of my chest and handed it to her like a goddamn girl. “I can’t. I can’t give her space or time. We’ve lost too much already.”
I didn’t know if it was her desperate look at me or my words, but Raven leaned over and wrapped her arms around me. She hugged the hell out of me. “I’ve missed you, you asshole,” she choked out. So, I did the only thing I could do, because I missed the hell out of her, too. I pulled her close, careful not to spill my beer all over her.
I didn’t think Raven had willingly ever hugged me in our years of friendship and this should have been awkward. But it wasn’t. It was just us being real and raw, and I fucking needed that more than anything right now. I should have made an effort to see her more. More than holiday cards and phone calls. But I hadn’t. I hadn’t wanted to come home. I’d been embarrassed and let my pride keep me away. It was a fucking shame.
The apartment door swung open and Harry jumped up at my feet and ran across the room to Liv. Raven and I separated and she got up off the couch, grabbing her glass of wine from the table. I noticed she hurriedly wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and it made my chest hurt.
“I’m so glad you’re home, Liv. This sentimental motherfucker was trying to make me cry and we all know I’m too badass for that.”
Liv’s eyes darted around the room from Raven’s face and then to mine as she leaned down to scratch Harry’s ears. I was positive she didn’t miss the black smudges under Raven’s eyes, because she looked confused and concerned when she asked, “What are you guys up to?”
I didn’t answer her and instead got right to the point, something along the lines of feisty as hell. “Where have you been?”
Liv rolled her eyes and Raven said from the kitchen, “Jesus, Nova, you have the subtlety of a damn bull in a china shop.”
“What are you doing here, Adam?” Liv sounded tired and pissed off that I was there, but I was a little drunk, so I didn’t give a shit.
“Shooting the shit with Raven.” I gulped down the rest of my beer.
Liv eyed me as she went to the kitchen. I heard whispering and then all of a sudden I heard Liv whisper yell, “He can’t sleep here.” More whispering ensued.
“I can hear you and I’ll catch a goddamn Uber.” Heaven forbid she let me sleep on the damn couch. She couldn’t even stand to be in the same room with me and the only place I wanted to be was at her side. The only time she let me near her was when I was making her come. She was killing me.
Raven walked past the living area and to her room while Liv came into the room and sat in the chair across from me with a sigh. “You can sleep on the couch tonight.”
“Don’t look so heartbroken about it. It’s not like it’s your bed.” My attempt at flirting didn’t seem to entertain her. Her eyes rolled.
Harry came and plopped down next to me and Liv narrowed her eyes at him, but he didn’t seem to care.
“You going to tuck me in?” I smirked.
She walked to a closet in the living room and came back with a pillow and a blanket and threw them at me pretty hard. I had drunk reflexes, so they smacked me in the face.
“Well, if you aren’t going to tuck me in, the least you could do is kiss me goodnight.”
She shook her head, but I could see the small smile playing at her lips. Lips I desperately wanted to taste.
I stared at her. Her high cheekbones, her enchanting brown eyes, her lips that were too wide for her face but that I loved immeasurably. I couldn’t help it. I should have known I’d never be able to come home and not have her. Not want her. She was in my blood. In my soul. Livingston had been my one for as long as I could remember. And now as a grown woman she was impossibly more beautiful, more honest, more everything. More her. I didn’t know how I’d survived the years without her.
“Why are you staring at me like that, Casa Nova?”
I grinned. “I see what you did there and I like it.”
She pursed her lips as she walked over to me. “Come on. Let’s get you ready for bed.”
She leaned over and unlaced my Converse and pulled them off my feet, and I let her. When was the last time anyone had taken care of me? I couldn’t remember.
Grabbing my ankles, she swept them up and on the couch, causing my entire body to turn.
“Lift your head, crazy pants.”
And so I did and she tucked the pillow behind it and I lay back with a sigh. She fanned out the blanket over me and pushed it in all around me, making sure I was snug.
“You’re tucking me in,” I teased.
“I am. Only because you’re so pitiful,” she teased back.
I pulled my hand free of the blanket and grabbed her wrist, pulling her until she sat at my hip. I rubbed my thumb back and forth in the middle of her palm. “Where were you tonight?”
I couldn’t let it go. I wouldn’t be able to live with it if she were with some other man. She was mine. She’d been mine since I was nineteen years old. And I still couldn’t let her go. She’d still be mine when I was ninety, too.
She pursed her lips like she was mad and then her face softened. Maybe she could see how much I had to know. Maybe she took pity on me when I didn’t deserve it worth a damn.
“I was at Mona’s. We watched a movie that ran a little late.”
Relief flooded my body and I smiled up at her. “That Maddie is a cute kid.”
“She is,” she agreed, smiling at me like I was being adorable and she couldn’t help but notice.
“It’s amazing what you do for her and Mona. You’ve always been the best, Liv. I didn’t deserve you.”
Her eyes were soft and loving on mine when she raised her hand and cupped it around the side of my neck, right over my rose tattoo, her rose tattoo. “No, you deserved a lot better.”
I leaned into her hand, bringing my shoulder up so I could cuddle it. “It doesn’t get any better than you, Livingston Montgomery.”
She laughed. “I think you’ve had too much to drink tonight, Nova.” She was trying to blow me off, make it seem like this conversation wasn’t one of the only truths we’d had since we’d been reunited.
“I’m being serious.”
“Okay.” She pulled her hand away and started to turn away, but she paused all of a sudden and her brow furrowed. “Where did you think I was tonight?”
I could have drowned in her brown eyes as I answered, “With a man who wasn’t me.”
She leaned over and pushed my hair off my forehead and placed a slow kiss there that made my heart grow three times its size. My breath caught and I held it, making sure I didn’t miss a second of that kiss, because it meant everything.
Her hand came to my jaw as she pulled back. She rubbed her hand over the stubble of my chin. “Oh, Adam. It’s always been you.”
She walked out of the room on quiet feet
and I lay there with my eyes wide-open, dreaming. And I hadn’t done that since I was nineteen years old.
It’s always been you. I played it over and over again in my mind like my favorite song. She was still in it. And God, so was I. I wanted her. I’d have her. I wouldn’t let ten years go by again.
I slept that night on a sofa that was about a foot too short for me. My feet hung off the side and there was a spring poking my mid-section. An old dog snored right next to my head from the floor, and the girl I loved was only a room away. It was the best night of sleep in my life.
I WAS A WEAK WOMAN, and Adam Nova drunk and sweet was my damn kryptonite. I couldn’t stop thinking about the past weekend and Adam sleeping on the couch. He’d been gone the next morning when I got up, thank God. I’d opened my heart to him, just a bit. I’d had a feeling he needed it. And the truth was, I needed it, too. I needed for him to know there wasn’t a day the last ten years that I hadn’t thought of him, loved him.
That didn’t mean I wasn’t still wary. I had more than my fair share of reservations when it came to Adam.
On my way to work Monday morning, lightness brimmed in my chest. It wasn’t until I was walking through the front doors of the planetarium that I knew what it was. Excitement. I was freaking excited and not just about my job. About Adam. And that just felt like a whole new level of dangerous. What happened when he finished whatever he’d come back here for? Would he leave? I wasn’t fool enough to believe he’d come back for me. Why was he living on that island instead of on the mainland where he belonged? He was too damn good for that place.
I walked into my office with my heart fluttering and my mind in a mess, a maelstrom of emotions. Adam was smart and crafty, and when he wasn’t using his body and lips and tongue, or flirting eyes, he had no problems using my heart to get his way.
I spotted it right away and my heart went from fluttering to big heavy thumps. There was a bottle on my desk. An old, discolored Coke bottle I hadn’t seen in a very long time. I stared at it from across the rec room like it was a bomb and it might burst into flames and this whole planetarium might burn down with it because that was how I felt. It didn’t give me the warm fuzzies it should have; it terrified me. I could see the white note inside of it from where I stood. I turned around and peeked across the lobby to Adam’s office, but the door was closed. He never kept his door closed.