In Her Space

by Knight, Amie

  I didn’t know how it happened, but all of a sudden my trembling hand was in his and we were shaking like friends instead of enemies. I swallowed, still unable to make words come. My life since I’d been back home had been one crazy as hell thing after another, and Braden coming here to talk to me and tell me he was sorry about my mom was just one more thing to add to the list.

  He was walking to the door when I finally piped out, “Why doesn’t she say something? Tell someone?” The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them. I couldn’t help but think that maybe if she had come forward my own mother might not have suffered or who knew how many other women Sheriff Rothchild had assaulted.

  With devastated eyes, he shrugged. “Scared, I guess. He’s powerful around here.”

  He left the office and closed the door behind him, and I slumped over in my chair and put my head in my hands. I’d just shaken hands with a man who’d helped send me to jail, even if it was unbeknownst to him. I’d just shaken hands with a man whose father had raped and murdered my mother and then hurt my father. A man whose father was beyond evil. But I had a feeling Braden was anything but and it rocked my world.

  The whole ordeal had thrown me so off track, I didn’t hear my door open. “You okay?”

  I looked up, shocked to see Liv standing there, looking like the best thing in the world. The only thing in the world that wasn’t fucked up or ruined somehow. She may have been different than she was all those years ago, but her light still shined bright even if it had dimmed a bit.

  I didn’t answer her as she studied my face. She closed the door behind her and walked around the desk until she was standing right at my side. I looked up and her eyes were sad on me.

  “You need a hug, tattoo boy?”

  I didn’t hesitate to open my arms. “Fuck yes.”

  She eased into my lap and wrapped her arms around my neck tightly, and I breathed her in. I buried my nose in the crook of her neck and closed my eyes. This. This was what I’d been missing. This was bigger than Braden and Sheriff Rothchild and Georgina. This was it. Her and me. Together. Liv and Adam against the fucking world.

  But that wasn’t our reality. It was the us against the world for what seemed like forever now. I leaned back and looked into her eyes. “What did Braden want?”

  “Just to say he’s sorry. For that night. For everything.” Her eyes were as haunted as I was sure mine were. “I don’t understand.”

  I pulled her back in close to me. I understood more than she did and I still didn’t quite understand. How had Sheriff Carlisle Rothchild gotten away with this shit for all these years? Had no one ever come forward? I knew my mother had tried, but he’d put a stop to that, too.

  I held her close, praying I could keep her safe. Now that I had her back, I knew I could never let her go again. I wouldn’t survive. She was one half of my heart, the breath in to my breath out. It would kill me to lose her again and I’d protect her at all costs.

  I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT WAS happening with Adam and me. I just knew whatever it was it brought me incredible joy. We sometimes had coffee at the café near work at lunch or he’d pop into the rec room in the afternoons and watch me work with the kids for a few minutes, grinning at me like he thought I was the best thing since sliced bread.

  It was adorable and he was sweet and the whole thing made my heart flutter. I felt lighter. Better than I had in years.

  I could tell he was taking things slow and I knew how that must have killed him. I didn’t need time or slowness. I’d been in love with Adam my whole life. I just needed all of him and not the bits and pieces he was willing to give.

  I was smiling as I folded laundry and thought of him. He was still the most beautifully engaging man I’d never met in my life and no matter how I tried to stay away I just couldn’t. He had me tied up in knots I never wanted loosened. I just wanted answers. I could be patient. I could wait. I’d waited for years already.

  My phone beeped from across the room, so I put down the pair of panties I was folding and walked over to the table and picked it up.

  Adam: I have something I want to show you

  I grinned like a crazy person because my mind immediately went to the gutter. I’d been hanging out with Raven too long.

  Me: I bet you do

  I bit my lip through my smile as I stared down at the phone, waiting on his reply.

  Adam: You shouldn’t tease a starving man

  My face flushed hot.

  Me: Just make yourself a grilled cheese if you’re hungry

  I giggled.

  Adam: It’s not food I’m hungry for

  I needed to change the subject before I had to put those clean panties I was folding on.

  Me: What did you want to show me?

  Adam: My tongue between your legs

  I couldn’t even believe he’d said that or texted it or what the hell ever.

  Me: OMG! You did not just say that!

  Adam: Come to my house and I’ll do more than say it

  I threw the phone down on the couch, blushing furiously. God, I wanted to go over there and let him put his mouth between my legs again. I’d never forget that day in his office. It had been one of the best orgasms of my entire life and that was saying something, considering Adam had been my first and that night had been damn magical.

  I heard my phone beeping again and again but refused to give him the satisfaction of knowing he had me the hell worked up. I didn’t want to just go over to his house. I wanted to run there, sprint there, completely naked so I’d be ready for his mouth.

  A few minutes later, I finished folding the clothes, a lot more composed and a little less turned on. Very little.

  I picked the phone up and clicked on our text conversation.

  Adam: Are you on your way?

  Adam: Is that why you haven’t responded?

  Adam: Really though. I need for you to come over

  Adam: I promise I’ll keep my tongue to myself

  Well, that was a shame. I really liked that tongue.

  I finally responded so I could put him out of his misery.

  Me: Why do you need for me to come over?

  Only two minutes went by before I got a response, which told me he’d been waiting for me and that only made me smile even harder.

  Adam: I want to show you something

  Me: Is that something your penis?

  Adam: ;)

  Adam: No, but that can be arranged.

  I’d already told him this once before, but I thought I would remind him.

  Me: I don’t go to the island anymore

  Adam: For me?

  And Lord have mercy that was the kicker. He knew exactly what to say to get what he wanted from me. He knew I would pretty much do anything in the world for him. Even visit the place I hated most in the world and I didn’t say hate lightly. I wasn’t the type of girl who went around hating things nilly-willy.

  Me: Okay. What time?

  Adam: Now

  Me: Wow! You don’t give a girl a lot of notice. I need to beautify myself

  Adam: You couldn’t get any more beautiful if you tried. Come now

  I warmed at his compliment. I looked out the window. It was mostly dark out at a little past nine. This felt like the kind of calls I had never responded to.

  Me: Is this a booty call?

  Adam: ;) I feel like I’ve been calling your booty for years

  I rolled my eyes and laughed. But I needed to know if he was calling me over there to do more than hang out.

  Me: Hardy har har. You’re a cornball. Am I coming over there to have sex?

  Adam: Wow. You think I’m easy, huh? No, I want to show you something

  I huffed out a breath and punched out my answer full of aggression.

  Me: Fine

  Adam: 114 Seaside. See you soon, gorgeous

  My whole body tingled at that gorgeous. It wasn’t like I didn’t know I was good-looking. I’d had plenty of men tell me they thought I was pretty, beautif
ul even. My daddy being one of the first. But no one, and I mean no one, made me feel like Adam did when he called me gorgeous. It was next level butterflies.

  What didn’t have my belly fluttering was that damn address. It was too close to the one I had called home for the better part of my teenage years. Why was he living so damn close to Georgina and Carlisle? It had to be only a few houses away.

  I was wearing navy leggings and a white shirt, but it was cool out, so I threw on some brown knee boots, a jean jacket, and a white scarf before I left the house.

  I drove the twenty-minute drive to the island and when I passed our field on the left, I tried not to look at it, but I couldn’t help myself. It looked like they’d broken ground and were building some sort of big building judging by the wooden framing I could see from the road. My heart hurt seeing that building there. I could have cried again, but I was kind of all cried out.

  So, instead I focused on the intense dread as I crossed the bridge. Jesus, I hated this place. It had taken everything from me. The memories weren’t very good except for the time before I’d lost my father.

  Trepidation sat heavily in my gut as I turned on the beachfront road and drove past my old home. I told myself I wouldn’t look at it, but I couldn’t resist. There it stood, the pink stucco, still pristine, no cars in the driveway. But what shocked me was when I looked at that house I didn’t think of Sebastian or Georgina. No, I only saw Adam standing at the end of the driveway with a cigarette in his hand. Me standing a few feet in front of him in the dark, praying he would kiss me goodnight.

  I pressed my hand to my chest, overcome with longing. I wanted it back. That feeling that no one could stop me. That I was invincible and that love conquered all. I wanted that girl back, but she was buried beneath the bones of every dream and hope she’d ever lost. I didn’t know if I’d ever find her.

  I was so caught up in my feelings that I almost didn’t notice the long boardwalk and pier that ran along the beach or all the people who were walking along it or looking through telescopes every several feet. Wow. I wondered when they had put this in. I loved it.

  I found Adam’s address and pulled in, taking in the ginormous house. It had to have been the biggest house on the island. It was a huge, three-story monstrosity. I was sure that if you stood on the top floor balcony you could see the entire island. It was a beautiful tan color with balconies and terraces galore, but I instantly hated it. This place was not Adam. Not the one I knew, anyway. For the first time ever I wondered if maybe Adam’s success hadn’t been for the best. Maybe it had changed him in a way I hadn’t expected and didn’t like very much.

  I walked up the driveway and was about to head up the porch steps when Adam surprised me by walking down them.

  He smirked at me and the spot between my legs ached. God, I was in trouble. If only a smile could do that, I wondered what a kiss would elicit. And I could tell from the flirtatious look in his eyes he definitely wanted to kiss me.

  “You found the place.”

  “I did. It’s strangely familiar,” I answered sarcastically.

  He nodded and put his arm through mine, steering me toward the beach and not his house. We walked out past the dunes and to the boardwalk and pier and all the people.

  We climbed the steps to the boardwalk and Adam stopped me right at the top with his arm. He looked around, so I did too, noticing that the people on the pier definitely weren’t from the island. No, most of these people had to be from the mainland. They weren’t dressed to the nines. They were regular people gazing at the stars through the telescopes set up.

  “What do you think?” he asked.

  I looked at him confused. “What do I think about what?”

  He motioned around with his free hand. “This.”

  This? I looked around again and then looked back at him and suddenly I understood. “You did this?” I whispered the words, shocked to my core.

  He nodded. “Yeah, I’ve been working on this since my first day home. It’s an observation deck of sorts, an offshoot of the planetarium.” He looked down at me, his eyes practically begging me to love it, but I already did. So, so much. “What do you think?”

  I wound my arm around his tighter and looked around again, overcome with emotion. “I think it’s amazing.” I looked at him. “I think you’re amazing.” I meant every word. I didn’t just see a bunch of people from Madison looking at the stars on a pier on Saint Ashley Island. I saw something bigger. I saw what Adam was doing. He was trying to bridge the gap between the island and the mainland. It was brilliant and it was freaking beautiful. Pride filled me up when I thought about the poor boy who’d followed me home that night and stood in my driveway nervously. I was so proud of that kid and what he’d become. Who he was. What he was giving back. My nose stung with emotion. I wanted to kiss him. I wanted to do a lot of things to him in that moment, but we were in a very public place.

  “Come on.” He pulled me down the pier to the very, very end where one lone telescope stood with no one at it. “Let’s have a look.”

  I pressed my eye to it and took in the beautiful stars above magnified times three hundred. I moved back so Adam could see too, but he was just staring at me instead.

  “Don’t you want to look?”

  He shook his head. “No. I much prefer to see the stars through your eyes. I always have.”

  He pushed his arm back through mine and we strolled slowly back down the pier in silence, the children and crowds making enough noise to block out the break of the waves. We walked down past his house and farther and that’s when I came to a realization.

  I stopped and looked around, noticing Georgina’s house close by. A smile broke across my face and laughter ripped deep from my belly. “Oh my God, I bet Georgina is losing her damn mind right now.”

  Adam chuckled low. “One can only hope.”

  “Oh, you are a bad boy, Nova,” I breathed between giggles.

  “Mmm.” He pulled me close to his front until my breasts were pressed to his chest and his hands sat low at the bottom of my back. “You used to have a thing for bad boys from the mainland, if I recall.”

  I wiggled my eyebrows suggestively. “I still do.”

  “Yeah?” he asked, lowering his mouth to mine.

  “Too bad you live on the island now,” I smarted and gave him a hard shove, escaping and running down the steps of the boardwalk.

  I heard his heavy footsteps racing at my back. He caught me from behind in the dunes, turning me and pushing me down into the sand. Landing on top of me, he pinned my hands above my head and pressed his lips to mine in a chaste kiss that was the exact opposite of what I expected.

  “No matter where I live, I’ll still always be a poor boy from North Madison,” he said, his breath coasting across my lips.

  “I sure hope so. I loved that boy.”

  His eyes soft on mine, he let go of one of my hands to cup the side of my neck, and this time when he pressed his lips to mine it wasn’t chaste or soft. He kissed me like he had all those years ago almost in this very same spot.

  “Come home with me,” he whispered as he nibbled on my cupid’s bow. “Stay the night with me,” he demanded as he sucked my bottom lip.

  “Okay.”

  He backed away, looking down at me, the shock apparent on his face. Hell, I was surprised I’d said yes, too. But I was so caught up in the moment. And when I looked up at the Adam of now, all I saw was the boy from then. And he still inexplicably held my heart. I couldn’t not say yes.

  He stood and pulled me up from the dunes and took off, his hand in mine, practically dragging me back to his home.

  We rushed up the steps of his front porch and he threw the door open. We were desperate for each other, so it was no surprise when he pushed me up against the wall right in the foyer of his home, his hands slipping beneath the cotton of my pants and panties. He grabbed my ass and squeezed hard as he tasted the inside of my mouth.

  In that moment, I didn’t care about the p
arts of himself he held back from me. I didn’t want to think of the past or the mistakes both of us had made. I wanted tonight even if tomorrow I regretted them because some things in life were worth having even if you knew you’d have to pay the price later. I’d eat the cake. I’d have the wine. And I’d damn sure make love to the man of my dreams. Even if he broke my heart all over again, which I had the most awful feeling he would.

  I wanted him now. I’d deal with the bruise he’d leave on my heart tomorrow. And just when I was going to slide my hands into the front of his pants as easily as he had into the back of mine, he pulled away and stood in front of me breathing deeply.

  “Want a tour?”

  “Yes.” My eyes roved his body.

  He smirked at me. “Of the house, I mean.”

  I mock poked out my bottom lip like a petulant child. “Darn.”

  He grabbed my hand. “Come on. Let me show you around.”

  I ran my other hand down the front of his shirt. “I’d rather you show me around these abs that weren’t there ten years ago.” I was ready to get this show on the road before I lost my nerve and God knew it took me long enough to get to this point. I wasn’t sure how long it was going to last before reality set in.

  He pressed me back against the wall and moved my hands over my head and clutched them in one of his. He used his other hand and gripped my chin between his thumb and forefinger until my eyes were on his. His body was hot and heavy against mine, and I wanted to spread my legs just a little so he could settle between them. “Trust me, Liv. I want to take you right here in this hallway right up against the wall. But I’ve kissed you and loved you in a field beneath the stars, the planetarium at midnight, and in my small bed in my pop’s apartment. But I’m not a kid anymore and I want you in my bed. I’m not rushing this. I’ve thought about it for too long, countless times, and I want to do this right.”

  Well, shit, what did one say to that? Not a damn thing, so I didn’t. I only nodded as he backed away and grabbed my hand. This time I followed behind him still in a daze from his words. I’m not a kid anymore and I want you in my bed.