The Hanging Time

by Bilinda P Sheehan

  Anger flared in Bianca’s eyes, dampening the pain and sadness she’d seen there a moment before.

  “I don’t need your approval or your blessing,” she said. “I loved Tom. I still love him now. And even if I go on a million dates, I won’t stop loving him.”

  “And when you meet someone and fall in love with them? Will you get married again, have more children? What happens to Tom then, does he just become an inconvenient and painful memory you put away in the back of your closet?”

  “Don’t you dare,” Bianca said. Her eyes widened a little and she shifted her gaze from Adelaide’s face. Adelaide turned and caught sight of Tilly standing on the drive observing the two of them with her too serious expression and a bottom lip that jutted out.

  “Are you fighting?”

  Before Adelaide could form the words, Bianca was out the door and moving toward her daughter.

  “Of course not, Tills. We were just having a conversation.”

  “It looked like you were mad at each other,” she said. “I don’t want you to be mad at each other.”

  Adelaide moved to her granddaughter’s side and brushed her dark hair back from her wide tear-filled eyes.

  “You don’t need to worry, pumpkin. Sometimes grown-ups have very serious conversations and it can look like they’re arguing but they’re not. Not really anyway,” Adelaide plastered a smile onto her face for the benefit of her granddaughter.

  Whether the little girl actually believed her was debatable and it cut at Adelaide. How could another human being be so much like Tom? It seemed impossible and yet the proof was currently staring back at her with scepticism on her small face.

  “Were you arguing about me?” Tilly asked. “Because if you were then—"

  “We weren’t arguing about you,” Bianca said. “We all love you so much. You don’t need to worry about any of that. Nana Adelaide is right, sometimes grown-up conversations can look like an argument but they’re really not.”

  “Will you hug and say sorry to each other then?” Tilly asked, her voice heavy with sincerity. On any other child, Adelaide might have wondered whether that kind of emotion was legitimate or not but with Tilly she knew the truth.

  Bianca looked up at Adelaide but whatever she saw reflected there caused Bianca to sigh and then shake her head.

  “I don’t think so, Tills. It’s not always as simple as that.”

  “But why not?”

  “Because we weren’t arguing,” Adelaide said quickly. “We better hurry up and head home or Freddie is going to miss his walk and he was so looking forward to it.”

  Tilly glanced uncertainly back at her mother and panic wormed its way into Adelaide’s heart. It would be all too easy for Bianca to cut her out of her granddaughter’s life if she so chose to. And if Tilly kicked up too much of a fuss now, there was nothing stopping Bianca from balking.

  “We can stop at McDonald’s on the way home if you’d like, Tilly?” It was a low blow and Bianca stared back at her with disgust as Tilly’s face lit up, the last of her uncertainty evaporating as though it had never been there at all.

  “Yes!” Tilly said as she squirmed out of her mother’s arms and raced toward the car. “Will I get a toy with my happy meal?”

  “You betcha,” Adelaide said. She smiled thinly at Bianca as she followed her granddaughter to the car. The sooner they left, the less chance there was for anything to go wrong.

  Bianca hovered at her shoulder as she strapped Tilly into the back seat. Closing the back door, she turned to face Bianca.

  “Don’t you ever manipulate her like that again,” Bianca said, through a grudging smile.

  “It’s not a manipulation if it’s the truth,” Adelaide said. “I’ll take her to McDonalds and we’ll walk Freddie this evening. And in the end, we’ll have a lovely visit and when she comes home to you tomorrow, she won’t remember any of this unpleasantness.”

  “But I will,” Bianca said. “And she’s not as gullible as you think. Tilly is sensitive. You think you’ve pulled the wool over her eyes this time, but it won’t last. Sooner or later, she’ll see you for what you really are.”

  Tilly chose that moment to tap on the window and Adelaide swung toward her granddaughter with a wide smile.

  “I’m coming,” she said, ignoring the tears that filled Bianca’s eyes as she waved to her daughter.

  “You have fun,” Bianca said, her voice cracking over the words.

  Adelaide slid in behind the wheel.

  “Are we ready?” She cast a look back at Tilly who nodded enthusiastically.

  Adelaide started the car and backed slowly off the drive, ignoring Bianca as she followed them. From the corner of her eye, she spotted a blue Rav-4 parked down the road. There was no on in the car, at least not that she could see and the biter part of her that resented Bianca’s ability to just move on wondered if Bianca had invited her fancy piece over now that Tilly was out of the house. It would be just like her too. Always so selfish, thinking only of herself and her wants and needs. What about Tilly in all of this? How would she cope when Bianca brought her new boyfriend? Would she make her call him daddy?

  Shaking her head, she turned and gave a sharp smile to Bianca.

  “Say goodbye to mommy, Tilly!”

  “I love you!” Tilly said, her childish voice high and singsongy as she waved to her mother.

  Without looking back Adelaide accelerated. The sooner she got Tilly away from here the better. But as she drove down the street, Adelaide couldn’t stop a small kernel of guilt from forming in the pit of her stomach.

  Perhaps she was too harsh with Bianca? After all, if there was one thing her deeply held faith had taught her it was that forgiveness was all important. But nowhere in the bible did it mention how you should forgive your daughter-in-law when she moved on when your own grief still held you firmly in its grip.

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  He saw her pain, witnessed it from the shadows. It made his heart ache and he longed to go to her, to wrap his hands around her and tell her that soon it would be done.

  Instead, he kept to the shadows and watched as she waved her daughter goodbye. Did she know of the path that had already been laid for her? Had someone whispered in her ear and told her what was expected of her? It seemed impossible and yet, there was no denying that it was all working out as though something greater, something divine had intervened to make it happen.

  He had no aversion to ending the suffering of children but unlike the adults who cared for them they didn’t yet understand the hardships that awaited them in the world.

  But he’d been prepared to do whatever was necessary if it had been expected of him. The fact that it wasn’t allowed a little relief to creep in, just the smallest flicker.

  She turned away, raising her hand at the car moving off the drive and he spotted his opportunity. It wouldn’t come again.

  Keeping to the shadows, he crept up the side of the house and let himself into through the back door.

  Chapter Thirty-Six

  Bianca headed back into the empty house and stood with her back against the closed front door. This was the bit she hated the most. The utter and complete silence that always followed Tilly’s absence. It would get worse too as the evening wore on. The hours stretched out before her, empty and unfulfilled.

  Most evenings it was a cram to get everything done on time. The little rituals and routines that they’d discovered together after Tom’s passing.

  Homework, then dinner, a little television before it was bath-time and straight into bed for a story. Bianca tried to push away the emptiness that clawed at her and failed.

  She slid down the door and buried her face in her arms as her tears started to flow a little more freely.

  Who did Adelaide think she was, swanning in with her judgements and her anger? She didn’t know what it was like to be alone, to crave the company of another human being who didn’t rely solely on you for their survival. At the end of the day she had Trevor
to go home to every evening. Their grief over the loss of their son was something they could share together. And no matter how hard, Bianca had tried to get closer to them they had locked her out at every turn.

  When Tom had died and they’d ignored Tilly for months, it had taken all of Bianca’s strength not to shut the door on them. But when they’d come crawling back, begging to be allowed to spend time with their precious granddaughter she’d let them back into their lives again.

  Scrubbing her hands over her face, Bianca climbed back onto her feet and headed for the kitchen. The last thing she needed to do was waste the little free time she had now on upset and tears over the guilt trip Adelaide had tried to lay on her. She had work to finish up and it wasn’t going to get done with her in an emotional ball.

  Flicking on the kettle, she made herself a coffee before she headed upstairs to the make-shift office she’d turned the box-room into. She sat down in front of the lap top and stared at the blank screen before her fingers began to move over the keyboard.

  The sooner she got the article done, the sooner she could relax for the rest of the evening.

  But no matter how much she tried to concentrate on the words on the screen, her mind kept replaying the argument with Adelaide.

  Finally frustrated, she pushed away from the desk and headed for Tilly’s room.

  She pushed open the door and stared at the bed. The little brown bear stared back at her, seemingly as bemused as she was by his sudden reappearance.

  “Where have you been?” she said, crossing the carpet to scoop the bear up off the bed. Tilly was going to be thrilled when she realised Gruff was back.

  Fear slithered down Bianca’s spine. Just how had he gotten here? She’d made the bed and searched the room from top to bottom while Tilly was at school but there had been no sign of the worn brown bear she now held in her hands. He hadn’t been on the bed, he hadn’t been underneath it and there was no way that Tilly had found him and left him here on the bed...

  Or was there?

  Was this her daughter’s way of leaving behind her protector?

  As she stood at the bottom of the bed, the teddy bear clutched in her hands, Bianca’s phone dinged an incoming message. Her hand automatically moved to her pocket and she slipped the phone out as a hand clamped over her mouth.

  Shock momentarily rooted her to the spot, fear causing her skin to break out in a clammy sweat.

  Opening her mouth, she inhaled a noxious substance that burned her lips and throat. She tried to scream but the gloved hand holding the cloth over her nose and mouth pressed harder. Desperate for air, she pushed backwards but her attacker was a solid mass behind her that refused to move, and the knowledge sent her heartbeat skyrocketing with panic.

  The phone slipped from her fingers and bounced beneath the edge of the bed as her legs started to buckle.

  What was wrong with her? She needed to fight.

  She willed her body to obey but whatever she was breathing spread through her panicked body—carried on a wave of adrenaline and her wildly beating heart—like a wildfire that left nothing in its wake untouched.

  Bianca moaned and slithered toward the floor, her eyes rolled in her head as she fought to stay conscious. Her attacker moved with her, cradling her against his broad chest as her head lolled back onto his shoulder and took his hand away from her face.

  “Why?” The word was almost incoherent and in the foggy recess of her mind Bianca wondered if she’d even asked the question aloud. The man holding her nodded as though he could still understand her. Or maybe it was just that for him the question wasn’t unexpected.

  “Because you’re in pain, sweetheart, and I can make it go away.”

  Darkness gathered at the edges of her vision as she stared up at the man cradling her on the floor of her daughter’s bedroom. There was a serenity to his expression as he brushed her hair back from her face and instinct told Bianca that whatever he had planned for her wasn’t going to be pleasant.

  The darkness she’d fought so hard against at last swallowed her and Bianca’s last thought was for her daughter.

  Who would look after her? Who would protect her now?

  Chapter Thirty-Seven

  Even with her eyes closed, he could feel her acceptance, her acquiescence, and it humbled him. The others had been terrified and it caused him to wonder if what he was doing was the right thing after all. But as he sat on the beige carpet and smoothed her dark hair from her face, the serenity of her expression told him everything he needed to know.

  He really was helping.

  Carefully, he folded the cloth with his homemade chloroform back up and slipped it into the plastic sandwich bag he’d brought it here in. Re-sealing the top of the bag, he pushed it into the bottom of his rucksack and took his tools out. She wouldn’t stay unconscious for very long and a thrill raced through him as he considered the ramifications of what he was about to do.

  Moving out into the hall, he tossed the rope and noose over the staircase and watched as it pooled on the hall floor below. The others had the chance to see the world before they stepped off the wheel. Bianca would not get that luxury and for that he was sorry.

  Hurrying back into the bedroom, he picked her up carefully and carried her down the stairs. Like Sian she was slight and for that he was grateful. Despite still being alive, her body was nothing more than a dead weight and there was nothing easy about carrying her.

  The sedative he’d used on the others had made things easier, making them more malleable. If he’d been forced to carry either Aidan or Jack outside his plan would have fallen apart at the first hurdle.

  As he reached the bottom step, Bianca stirred in his arms. A low murmured moan that told him his time was running out. He laid her out on the cold floor and secured the noose around her throat. The movement seemed to draw her further from her unconscious state and panic caused a cold sweat to break out on his skin.

  “Tilly...”

  As he secured the rope around his waist and arms he moved backwards, testing the strength of the banister above. Would it be that way for him too? Would his final thoughts be for his child when his time came? He hoped it would. Satisfied the staircase would hold he waited, holding his breath in his lungs until he was sure they would both burst.

  He watched as Bianca’s eyes fluttered open, her confusion a kindness for what was about to happen next. She caught sight of him and started, her mouth opening into an ‘o’ of horror. He moved swiftly and the rope tightened cutting off her air supply before she could make even a squeak of sound.

  “Don’t fight it,” he said but even as the words left his mouth, he knew they were futile.

  Chapter Thirty-Eight

  Sweat caused the gloves he wore to stick to his fingers. This was the part he hated the most. Being forced to wear gloves created a distance between him and the ones he freed. If he could just reach out and touch them...

  He curled his fingers into a fist and tucked himself up on the bottom step of the stairs. She’d long since ceased to struggle and the life had drained from her in the blink of an eye. The others had been almost peaceful, but she had not.

  She had fought against the inevitable. Tears clouded his vision and he buried his face in the crook of his arm and let his sobs overtake him. Had it been a mistake? Was he wrong?

  Was this not how it was supposed to be?

  The evening light faded and the shadows extended their reach across the floor. He sat and watched over her. It was easier here. With the others, he’d been forced to abandon them once the deed was done. The risk of getting caught was too high. But here, in the safety of her house, it was easier.

  The air chilled and the scent of death permeated the space. The kind of scent that once you had it in your nose you never could shake free of it.

  Closing his eyes, he let his exhaustion wash over him and sweep him under.

  The shrill of the telephone dragged him from the pleasant dream he’d been having. His heartbeat exploded in hi
s chest as he realised where he was. Glancing down at his watch, he sucked a sharp breath in through his teeth.

  Stupid. So stupid.

  Light pooled on the floor and Bianca’s body cast an odd shadow across the hall as he pushed upright. His body was cramped, the muscles of his legs protested as he crossed the floor and paused to stare up at her.

  She was an angel now, just like the others. Free of her pain and suffering. It was done.

  He turned as the answer machine kicked in and Bianca’s voice flooded the house. It was eerie and the hairs on the back of his neck stood to attention as he listened to her speak.

  Bianca’s voice ended and the abrupt beep that followed tugged him from his silent contemplation.

  “Bianca, it’s me. That’s twice now I’ve tried you. Is everything ok?” Her voice was sorrow personified and his heart constricted in his chest. Gasping for breath, his knees buckled and he dropped to the floor.

  He knew that voice. He’d heard her on the answering machine the few times he’d visited Bianca’s house before yesterday. They were friends but who she was, he had no clue. All he knew for certain was that he wanted to know who she was. It was important. He could feel it in his bones.

  There was no denying the pain in her voice. A deep-seated sorrow that spoke to his own.

  The desire to pick the phone up, to speak to her rooted him to the spot. With her it would be all too easy to forget what was at stake here.

  He closed his eyes and waited for the telltale click of the call ending. When it came, he climbed back onto his unsteady feet and glanced back at Bianca.

  “Who is she?”

  Bianca was silent, her bulging bloodshot eyes stared straight ahead.

  Moving through the house, he worked quickly, searching through Bianca’s handbag until he found what he was looking for. He tugged her address book free and scanned the contents. She didn’t have many friends and for that at least he was grateful, it would make his job much easier.