My Christmas Darling

by Vivien Mayfair

  It dawned on her that for the first time ever, she wasn’t afraid of heights. Something about being tucked up safely into his side provided a halo of security. Mark never made her feel safe any place at all.

  She peeked shyly at him. “Will…”

  “What is it?”

  “Why did you invite me today?”

  “I enjoy your company a great deal.”

  “Is that all?”

  “I wanted to make it up to you how badly I acted in the arcade. It’s not the impression I want you to have of me. I’m not that man, Lucy. It was callous how I embarrassed you like that.”

  So, he regretted the kiss? Of course, he did.

  “Can I tell you something?”

  His gaze stayed focused on the view. “Please do.”

  “There’s something I should confess.”

  “I’m listening.”

  She knew one hour into their day that she was in love with this man. Also, she knew that there was no way she was going to marry Mark Roland. Her mom finally convinced her that she deserved happiness. The only point of marrying Mark was to not go through with the hoax before more damage occurred.

  But she deserved to see her book published.

  To hold it in her hands.

  Collect the funds.

  Heather stepping in as the face to her pen name was irrelevant. Lucy didn’t want any of that. The surgery played on her mind day and night. That blasted redemption for her mistake.

  The book had to happen.

  But, Mark Roland? She never should have pursued him as an option or given him false hope. It was William’s arms she longed for. William’s rugged features and dimple that she saw in her sleep. William’s voice she sought each day.

  He was the one.

  “What is it?” he prompted.

  “It’s just…well…”

  His fingers laced through the open holes of the metal grate. Then he leaned back, peering at her from the side. The stare indicated he contemplated what to say. Finally, a worried frown shadowed his face.

  “Lucy, I already know.”

  Shame tinged her cheeks. Or, was it fear? “Oh no, you do? But, how could you?”

  “I saw him.”

  “Saw who?”

  “Your boyfriend. I saw you kissing him at the party.”

  Her lids smacked shut. Noooo, oh gingersnaps and snapdragons. Heard us talking about marrying, too? Please no, anything but that. Why do I have such rotten luck? Payback, that’s why.

  She stuttered, fingers quivering. “You mean like…well… I mean you saw…”

  “Saw him kiss you at the door before he left. I came looking for you.”

  “Oh, so is that all you saw? I mean, you’re right, it was me. I mean, did you hear us talking?”

  “No, but I should’ve known a beautiful girl like you was taken.”

  “Oh, but I’m not. He’s from my past and keeps trying to get me back.”

  “So, he’s your ex-boyfriend?”

  He’s about to be in the next five minutes. She was going to place the call.

  “We’ve been broken up for a long time. Sometimes we visit, and he never gives up.”

  “So, it’s over?”

  With a mouth as dry as a blow dryer, she nodded. “I’m sorry you saw that.”

  “Why did you agree to come with me today?”

  “Why did you really want me to? I thought you liked Bibi.”

  He seemed to reflect on that. “I like what Bibi makes me feel deep inside. I’ve learned so much from her about myself. She helped me find a part of me that was missing.”

  “And, me?”

  “You help me feel something quite different. I feel deeply for you, whereas she makes me feel big about myself. Being with her a few times in person now, I can tell you that there’s no fire there, and I don’t like feeling big anyway.”

  She swallowed, nervously. “You feel deeply for me?”

  “What happened in the arcade wasn’t the Irish coffee or flu.”

  Lucy turned her face to the nippy air. One thing she learned about William Harcourt was that he valued honesty above all else. Sadly, she had the best of both worlds, but couldn’t collect on them. He was attracted to her emotional side through words and her physical side in person.

  Clueless.

  What would he think if he found out she and Bibi were the same? That she deceived him with emails pretending to be somebody else? Surely, he would understand professional gumption to achieve a goal. Yet, thinking about confessing the truth felt like a thunderclap would strike her down.

  The hoax was hogwash.

  Wrong.

  Cruel.

  There was no reason to keep it up, other than now the risk of losing him. Yet, with his father owning the company and a new chain of authority, consequences could be different if she was found out. Hurting him wasn’t something she could live with, but how could she keep up the ruse permanently?

  “Did I say something wrong?” he asked, clasping her elbow.

  “You said everything just right. You’re perfect.”

  “Why did you kiss a man you don’t want?”

  “It’s complicated.”

  “I’m sure.”

  “He has money; he was helping me with some bills. But, now I have that new job if I want it.”

  Great, so admit wanting a man for his money. Real brilliant.

  “So, you’re taking the job? Because I think you should.”

  When she didn’t answer, he seemed to lose interest. Another surprise.

  He gave a charming wink. “I’ll tell you what, I have a plan for us.”

  When he walked toward a deck guide near the door, she called, “Where are you going?”

  “Stay here.”

  This was her chance. She turned her back and crossed the platform away from him. Dialed Mark’s phone with every intention of breaking off the engagement. One more thing to feel bad about. One new thing to feel thrilled about.

  The phone rang.

  And, she smiled.

  It was a powerful day.

  The right day for William to settle his affairs and make a decision. He’d been considering his options since the company Christmas party. A change was coming – again. This time, it would be in his control.

  “More hot chocolate?” Lucy asked.

  Snaking an arm around her shoulders, he held out his mug with his free hand. “Safer than Irish coffee.”

  “Where’s a video camera when you need one?”

  “Blackmail material, right? For the ice-fish boss.”

  As the carriage prattled along, she tinked the driver’s thermos to the mug. “An ice-fish in a warm sea.”

  “I hope people see me differently since the party.”

  “I’ve heard nothing but nice things.”

  “It was never my intention for people to see me that way. I learned from my father that the only way for employees to take you seriously and work hard is to respect you. And, to gain respect, you have to keep it professional. I can see now that doesn’t work for all situations.”

  She screwed the lid on. “I respect people more who are compassionate and kind.”

  “Which I hope you know I am. It just wouldn’t do to show it.”

  “You mean, that’s what you were taught.”

  “Sadly, yes, but I wish that wasn’t the case.”

  Lucy snuggled into him as the horse-drawn carriage crossed a charming lake bridge through Central Park. It was once a pretty road to the other side of the lake, running between rows of frozen crab apple trees and barren marigold bushes. Icy water lapped gently from the edge of the bank. He sucked in a deep breath, loving the earthy smell of it, arranging blankets around them as they sipped cocoa.

  “So, you mentioned the promotion?” he asked.

  “I wish I could do it. I just don’t know what people will think of me.”

  The silence thickened between them as they watched the snow-kissed trees sway alongside their carriage. Hooves
clopped the concrete in perfect succession. Passing several park vendors, she caught scene of spiced almonds, maybe hazelnuts or smoked fish, and apple fritters.

  Either would do.

  “Can I give you some advice?” he said, pulling her from sweet food dreams and a watering mouth.

  “I’m sure I’ve heard it all before.”

  “Maybe, but this is something my mom once told me.”

  Curious, she peered at him. “Go on.”

  “Don’t put your wishbone where your backbone should be.”

  The intense phrase seemed to rattle her in her seat, blowing her away so deeply that she suddenly didn’t notice that their guide driver had asked her a question. She merely locked eyes with William as the words rolled over her.

  “Say that again,” she suggested.

  “The point is that life is a tapestry of different emotions and experiences. Some we ask for, some we don’t. I really try to look at everything that happens as a structured novel. Bad happens, things we don’t understand happen, yet they all weave together in the end with the final punch line.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “You know, the ‘ah ha’ moment that comes together at the end.”

  “This is business advice or philosophy?”

  He chuckled. “You can weave your own tapestry. Don’t you see?”

  “That’s amazing,” she replied, enthusiastically. “Is that how you became so successful?”

  “I’m not that successful.”

  “So, what are you saying?”

  “People try and run you, walk all over you, control you. You know you should have some backbone and do something about it because it bothers you. Yet, what do you do? You wish they wouldn’t do that. Wish things were different. Wish they’d leave you alone. Wish, wish, wish.”

  “So, you’re saying, what, never have hope?”

  “Instead of wishing things were different, stand up and make them different.”

  “So, don’t let people dump a rainstorm on my rainbows?”

  His lips tisked a wet sound as he nodded. “That’s it, yes. If you want the job, take it.”

  “But you don’t think I should take that promotion?”

  “It’s not my decision.”

  “You wouldn’t want me working for your father.”

  “I don’t want to work for my father. But don’t worry, he treats everybody well except for me.”

  “I’m sorry to hear that.”

  “Don’t be, I’m used to it. I’ll find my own way.”

  “I just wish the choices weren’t so hard.”

  “Wishbone, backbone. See what I mean?”

  The insightful advice sounded so good that it got him thinking about his own situation. It clung to him like glue with his mom’s wise heart as a life-raft. It was time to view the situation in a new light.

  “So, hardships and blessings are one and the same,” she clarified.

  “Like having a mother. Like my mother.”

  “Is that why you don’t get along with your dad?”

  “He blamed me for her cancer. Still does.”

  Her brows tightened in under a lilac winter cap. “How can that be?”

  “I was a difficult child. When she got sick, he said it was the stress I caused her. When she died, he wasn’t there. He was with his mistress.”

  She simply took his hand. “Nobody can give a person cancer. It sounds more like he felt guilty for not being there, and for what he was doing when she died.”

  “Maybe blaming me made it easier for him.”

  “People do all sorts of strange things from grief.”

  William considered it as the carriage went past a statue of Alice in Wonderland where a mom and two kids put on skates. Iris said the same thing once. Now, he knew it had to be true. His father never could own up to his failures. He draped an arm further around her neck.

  “William, you don’t need your father’s approval to be good enough,” she dared to say.

  Despite the embarrassment, he nodded.

  “You have everything you need inside of you. You don’t need your dad.”

  As the carriage came toward the city, he realized that he would need to be the one to change and find what he needed within himself. The truth was that he did everything he could to avoid the real issue in his life. He tried fixing everything the wrong way, blaming his dad for it all, when the truth was that the problem sat within.

  “I’m a flawed human,” he admitted, barely under his breath. “I see that now.”

  “We all are. In fact, just this morning, I accidentally put soy sauce instead of syrup on my mom’s waffles. Somehow daydreaming about you turns me into a spazzed jellyfish in the kitchen.”

  “I love soy sauce. I’d eat anything you make.”

  It was time to come up with a new plan and extract what he needed from within. He didn’t need to be his father’s employee or scapegoat. He’d start by changing his perspective, and telling himself that his father wanting his company was more of a compliment to William’s attributes than an insult.

  “I’m going to find my own way,” he said, more as a declaration.

  Lucy smiled, looking more relieved than impressed. “I think that’s an excellent idea.”

  “I can make my own future. It doesn’t have to be about my father.”

  “I hope you will. I may even have some ideas for you.”

  William tapped the back of the driver’s seat. “Can we get out here?”

  The hoof clopping came to a halt. They untangled the blankets around them and got onto a path on the edge of the park just across from a city street.

  “How about we promenade?” William suggested.

  “That sounds like something Bibi would say.”

  “It is something Bibi wrote to me. She hates people but loves to promenade in the snow. Something about the silent joy of the purity and calm from nature making everything in your head clear.”

  Lucy didn’t say anything next to him. He needed to remember to avoid talking about the woman in a fond way in front of Lucy. In fact, he needed to make it clear to Bibi that he was going to be with Lucy now.

  Game over.

  For Bibi.

  He would miss the emails, but that was okay. The emails, he realized, were nothing more than a lesson to help him identify what he needed to fix within himself. And, what he wanted from life.

  Lucy was now part of that picture.

  They stopped in a private nook under a domed-lattice gazebo. “Lucy…” He turned her around by the shoulders before cupping her face. “I want you to know that it wasn’t the virus or Irish coffee that made me kiss you.”

  The adorable woman came across as a fumbling young girl in his presence when it came to romance. One more endearing quality to love.

  “I’m sorry about my boorish manners that night,” he added.

  “It’s not your fault.”

  “It is my fault, entirely. You deserved better than that embarrassment.”

  She kept her eyes on a barren plant. A good or bad sign?

  “Look at me, darling Lucy.”

  She turned into him in a whirl of fogged air; looked to his eyes. A fizzy sensation consumed him as he watched her lips part as if knowing how badly he wanted to be intimate with her.

  “I’m going to kiss you,” he whispered.

  “You don’t have to.”

  “I want to, Lucy. And, I want you to know how I feel about you.”

  “Or, you could just tell me.”

  “How about I tell you and show you?”

  “Or, you could…”

  He silenced her, moving in slowly, sweetly, like a true gentleman this time.

  The kiss was intense, full of fire. She tasted like chocolate and salt and life itself. His lips made their way along her neck and back to her face. “So sweet,” he hushed into her mouth.

  She burrowed into his arms that engulfed her, and happily so. This is what he wanted for the rest of his life. Ev
erything about her he loved. Their kisses lasted nearly half an hour, Lucy stopping every now and then to mumble how much she liked it. When darkness came down on the park with a patchwork of fog, they parted.

  Walked hand-in-hand like lovers.

  “Where are we going?” she asked.

  “I don’t know.”

  “Shouldn’t we know?”

  “Some things, Lucy, are best left to chance.”

  Like his life.

  His future.

  The change had come.

  The change had passed.

  William knew what he had to do, so long as Lucy was by his side.

  Chapter 14

  “Even the greatest Christmas ever will be better with giant chocolate Santas.”

  With Love, Vivien

  * * *

  Lucy watched while everything she worked for swirled down the loo.

  This was her night.

  Her book.

  Her success.

  Yet, not one person in the Terrace Room at the Plaza Hotel noticed her existence. Even her mom couldn’t see her, which was just fine considering Lucy’s silent blubbering distress. Mary Carpenter remained seated in a chair along the wall next to a prize-drawing table.

  The red box.

  People said hello to Mary as they slipped their name on folded papers into the little red box where one lucky recipient would win the first book ever printed of Bibi Roquette’s – the proof.

  Heather’s weapon.

  She swung it around the event like she owned the place. Not a creature in the room had its gaze off of her. Bibi Roquette was not only a rising star but was also ravishing in a sexy fire-engine-red ball gown.

  Every man ogled.

  Each camera clicked.

  Heather posed like an underwear model draped over a Lamborghini. Sequins lined the bust of the strapless dress and caught the reflection of the chandelier. She twinkled like a Christmas tree.

  Ahem.

  A tap on her arm put to bed Lucy’s dreamlike state. She could barely keep her eyes opened at her spot by the entrance where she verified names on a checklist.

  “I just asked for the restroom,” the man repeated.

  Lucy handed him a name tag and pointed to an “exit” sign across the event room. “Door in the corner.” She waved the next person inside to approach her table at the door. “Name?”