by P. J. Belden
Fourteen
Legend
Watching Waverly’s retreating back, I grab my clothes and begin to dress. It’s then that I realize that the ring, that has not left my pocket since the night I bought it, is there like a beacon of failure. Staring at it, I see all the reasons I bought this to begin with. I feel all the emotions behind what this ring means. Most of all, I know that no matter where things go with Waverly and me, this ring is hers. No one else. This ring – and my heart – will always be hers no matter how much time goes by.
Sighing heavily, I place it on her coffee table and stand from the couch. As I bend for my shoes, I see that she’s standing out on her deck. Today will always be a day of mix emotions for me. Where I could feel the love from the only woman, who’ll hold my heart and see the pain I have caused her at the same time.
Sitting in my truck, I bang the steering wheel in frustration and pain. If that night had gone differently things for us would be… Still painful, but at least we would have been together. My brother still holds a lot of blame in my book for not keeping tabs on her as I begged him too. But really, it’s all on me. Starting the truck, I stare at her house once more before driving away.
Leaving Waverly is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. My heart wanted me to beg and plead with her to take me back because I’m not complete without her. My head, however, knew how wrong of me that would be. I have hurt her. Because of that, I deserve to suffer alone. She definitely did.
Staring at the envelope on the bed next to me, I can’t seem to open it. The truth lay in there. The true pain. Unable to handle not knowing any longer, I grab the envelope. After a few more deep breaths, I open it. The pictures of my son lay next to a slip of paper. Before looking at him, I decide to read what she had written to my brother.
Peter,
I know you asked that I leave you alone. I’m doing my best to do so. But I thought, even in your pain, you might like to know that your brother was not completely lost there for a small while. He lived on in our beautiful son, Remy.
Legend and I had talked a while back about kid names. He had told me that he’d name his first son Remy. I, of course, asked him why. He told that Remy was the code word between the two of you to let you know that everything was okay. Legend had said that Remy would be the link between you two as brothers and best friends.
Even though he’s gone, I wanted to honor him. I loved your brother so much that he took a massive piece of me with him. But father and son are together now, I have to believe they are happy. To be together.
I’m sorry, but I want to share the piece of your brother that for a moment filled the hole in my heart that his loss left. I believe that Remy would have been just as incredible as your brother and as you. I loved him completely through all his surgeries, through his entire fight.
Without a doubt, I know what an incredible father that Legend would have made and the type of uncle you would have been. Please accept these photos of him. This will be the last contact from me, I promise.
I hope you are doing okay. My heart aches for the loss you must feel and the emptiness I know you must feel.
You’re in my prayers,
Waverly
Wiping the tears from my eyes, I see once again the incredible woman that I love so completely. Even in her pain, she was concerned for my brother.
With shaking hands, I pull out the photos of my little boy. The first one is a close-up of his face. He looks so much like me. His eyes are closed so I don’t know the color. He’s absolutely beautiful. The other pictures reveal his struggle before his passing, and more tears fall down my cheeks. The last picture is of his headstone. Looking on the back, she wrote where he is buried.
Putting the pictures in my wallet, I grab my keys and head out of the door. The drive to my brother’s house is a blur, but soon, I’m knocking on his door. Shoving my hands in my pocket, I wait for someone to answer the door.
“Are you here to hurt your brother more?” Kim’s timid voice asks as she opens the door.
“No, I need to talk to you two.”
“What do you want?” Peter says angrily, but I can hear the hurt in there too.
Digging the letter out of my pocket, I hand it to my brother. He looks at me in confusion before opening the letter and reading it. His shoulders sag and jerk a little every now and again.
“That,” I say pointing at the letter, “is what you caused. That unnecessary pain for her. Yet, she worries about you and wants to make sure you have a piece of your nephew. Not only did you tell her that I was dead, but you left her to deal with this all on her own.”
I hand him the pictures of my son. He flips through each of them. Kim has tears pouring down her cheeks and she hiccups as she tries to get herself under control. Peter hands me the pictures back, and I replace them in my wallet and look at my brother.
“That’s why I was so angry. She was left alone. Left to depend on herself through it all. To hear her say she hates me. That killed me. I wasn’t thinking with my head when I came over here. For that, I’m sorry. I hope you can understand and eventually forgive me.” I turn and walk away.
Without a second thought, I drive to the cemetery. A son. I had a son. Even in a time that she thought I had died, she stood strong making sure she was there for him every step of the way. That day was supposed to be the beginning of our forever. Instead, it turned out being the end of our forever. I don’t blame her either.
Walking the distance up the path the caretaker had given me, I fall to my knees in front of his stone. Tears immediately fill my eyes as I reach out and trace his name with my finger. She even gave him my last name.
“I’m so sorry, son. I should have been here. I should have had a chance to see you. To watch you grow in your mommy’s belly and be there when you were born. I should have been here. I’m so sorry.” I say lowering my head in shame.
“It wasn’t your fault.”
Spinning around, I fall on my ass when I hear her voice. “Waverly?”
“I have been thinking about everything you told me and I realized something.”
“Wh-wh-what was that?” I ask nervously.
“You had gone out planning an amazing moment and had the bad luck of trying to protect a friend and coming into harm’s way. I can’t pretend your absence didn’t hurt me, but I can’t pretend that I don’t love you still. Remy taught me a lot in his three months. He showed me that life is short, painful, and dark if that’s what you focus on. He didn’t. He responded to my voice when I talked to him. He’d grab my finger every time I put it in there. Even as he took his last breath, he held my finger. I’m tired of making him an excuse not to live. He needs to be my reason.”
Standing from the ground, I brush my jeans off. Looking at her, I want to hold her in my arms, but I’m not sure I deserve that. However, I don’t understand really where she’s going with everything either.
“What are you, uh, trying to say?”
“I’m saying, we can’t turn back time, but we can learn and move forward. I’m saying that I accept.” She smiles and holds up her hand. There, on her gorgeous little finger, sits the engagement ring I had gotten her.
“But I didn’t ask you,” I remind her, smirking.
“You don’t have to because I want our forever to begin today. I think two years was long enough to know if our love is real or not.”
Taking a step toward her, I stand toe to toe with her. “And is it for you?”
“Yes, I love you, Legend and I want to marry you.”
Picking her up, I spin her in a circle. “I love you so much. I promise never to let you down again.” Looking back at the headstone, I smile. “We’re getting married buddy.”
Waverly laughs and kisses me. “Yes, we are.”
“What changed your mind?” I ask because I have to know.
“My mind was never made up when you were there. I was just hurting. Then I saw an old boyfriend who suffered a loss with his wife and they were losing e
ach other instead of leaning on each other. It got me thinking about us and everything that you said.” She shrugs. “It just all seemed to click.”
We start walking back out to the road, hand in hand. She’s talking amicably about telling her parents about the wedding and how her sister just had a baby. When we arrived at the cars, she looks at me, thoughtfully.
“Are you staying with your brother?”
“No, in a hotel. Why?”
“You don’t live there. You’ve stayed there, but you live at my private getaway now.” She smiles. “Go pack up whatever and I’ll meet you at home.”
“Yes, ma’am,” I answer, leaning down and kissing her.
Opening her car door, I help her inside and run to my truck. This day didn’t end how I thought it would, but I can’t complain. My girl is not only back, but she’s even willing to marry me. Maybe we’ll get our forever after, after all.
“This is the last of it,” I say as I walk back into the house.
Looking around, I see none of my boxes or bags sitting in the living room anymore. Walking into the house further, I sit the box on the coffee table. This is the only room I’ve been in. I’m not exactly sure where everything is here.
“Waverly?” I call from the dining room.
She pops her head out of the doorway at the end of the hall. “Down here,” she smiles. “And bring the box.”
Grabbing the box I just carried in, I head down the hall to the room she’s in. I notice two other doors and a set of stairs. Looking up the stairs, I wonder how many rooms are up there. Turning, I walk into her bedroom.
“Where do you want this?”
“Is it clothes?” Her muffled voice comes from what I presume to be a closet.
“No, its pictures and stuff. How do I still have all this stuff by the way?”
When I was unable to return that night, I obviously had nothing but the clothes on my back. Yet, as I carried my few bags of clothes down to my truck, Waverly informs me that there was a storage unit with more things. It seems now that I may not be missing a single thing.
“When I couldn’t stand staying in the apartment any longer, and the house was finished, I packed up everything. I was in a lot of pain and decided that anything that hurt me, I’d put in storage. So I put your stuff in there too. I tried to get a hold of your brother, but he wasn’t returning my phone calls,” she shrugs. “I still loved you, and even if you didn’t love me, I didn’t want you to lose your stuff.”
Pulling her into my arms, I kiss her deeply. “I’m never going to be able to tell you how sorry I am for all of this, Lee. But I’ll do everything I can to make it up to you. To make you happy now. To love you with all that I am and pray the pain eases as time goes on.”
She smiles softly at me, placing her hand on my cheek. “There’s no making up for the past. There’s only creating our future and living in what we have right now. I can’t let that darkness hold me anymore, Legend. I can’t.”
Kissing her again, I pull her tightly against me making sure she could feel how much I loved her and how much I wanted her. Laughing, she pulls away and opens the box to look what’s inside. Together, we put everything in its place. Before my eyes, her house quickly became our house. By the time we are done, it is as if I had been here all along.
Leading me around the house, she shows me the upstairs, her office, and every nook and cranny. As the tour ends, we end up out on the porch. She stares at the single chair on the deck as if it is going to sprout heads and attack. Something told me that this chair is a spot she spent many hours lost in sadness.
Walking over to the chair, I pull her with me. Sitting down, I yank her arm, and she falls onto my lap with a laugh. Holding her, we both stare out at the view. This had been our dream. To have a house private with enough to keep us at peace and raise a wonderful family. I’m hoping a family is still an option because it’d break my heart if there were no chance to have little Waverly’s running around.
“Do you still want children?” I find myself asking before I realize it.
“Yes, I think so now. Before I wasn’t so sure, but I do. Yes. You?”
Smiling, I hug her tighter to me. “As many as you want.”
Staring at the house, I am suddenly nervous. The last time I saw her family ended up being the worst night of my life. Knowing all that Lee has gone through on her own, I’m not sure I’ll still be welcomed here. Waverly must feel my nervousness or picked up the obvious cue when I didn’t climb out of my truck.
“Stop it. You know my family loves you. My mom and sister took it hard when we thought you were dead. I’m not sure about my father. But when I was with my sister after we met at Hideaway, they were defending you, remember? We discussed this already.”
“Yeah, you say the words and I see your father’s fist headed for my face.” I grimace at the thought.
Waverly’s laughter fills me to the core as she hugs me. Pulling me out of the truck, she leads the way to the front door. Walking right in, my feet have a harder time accomplishing the one foot in front of the other. Before I can even remember how to breathe, Waverly has pulled us around the corner, shouting her hellos. Everyone turns to face us, and my heart stops in my chest.
I can’t move. My lungs are no longer operating, and my heart is about to fly out of my nose. Suddenly, my hands begin to sweat and shake as my stomach plummets to my feet. Glen heads in our direction. I’m trying desperately to decipher his current mood, but his face is blank. So blank that I’m afraid I’m about to meet my maker because he’s that angry with me for the pain his daughter went through alone.
Suddenly, he’s pulling me into his arms and giving me a hard hug. “You gave her a ring, son?”
The breath whooshes from my lungs, and I hug Glen back. “Yes, sir. By the grace of God, she still wants to marry me.”
“Fate my boy,” he pulls back. “Fate.”
Everyone started joking with me about how scared I was. Damn straight I was. My life is Waverly, and I know her love for her family. If they didn’t accept me back in their lives, I’d inevitably lose my world. We all shift into the sitting room. Waverly sat on my lap in one of the chairs, running her hand up and down my neck. Looking up at her, her eyes question me and I smile and nod.
“Mom, dad, uh, guys,” she clears her throat. “I want you all to know how much I love you for trying to be there for me even when I fought you. And I’m even happier that you’re all here today. Because I have to tell you that as of a week ago, I agreed to be Legend’s wife.”
Silence fills the room before a loud cheer from her mom breaks it. Hugs spread all around, and everyone looks at her ring. From the sighs of her mother and sister, I guess I had done well on picking out the ring. I’ve lost count of how many times that Waverly has stared at it. It brings a smile every time I catch her looking at it.
“Welcome to the family man. As if it’s really needed.” Luke jokes.
“Thanks, man,” I shake his hand. “Thank you for taking care of Waverly too.”
“Yeah, what happened to you,” Luke asks, and the room falls silent.
Taking a deep breath, I walk down nightmare lane and explain to them everything that had happened. The same as I did when I explained to Waverly, I left out the several attempts Leroy’s men had tried to ‘silence’ me over those two years. They didn’t need to know any of that. I definitely didn’t want Waverly to know any of that. She has enough she can’t erase.
“Wow, man,” Luke says. “I’ve seen that shi-uff in movies and television, but never known anyone to actually go through that.”
Shrugging as if it was no big deal, I look at Waverly. “All I could think about was if Waverly was okay and if she’d be waiting for me to come back. I had no idea that my brother had said that I was dead.”
“Well, that’s in the past,” Glen says ending the conversation and breaking the sadness descending around the room. “We have a future to plan.”
Wedding talk begins to flow, and I enjo
y how excited Waverly is about it all. It shows me that she truly wants to move forward as a team and tackle whatever may come our way. Reminding me of every reason I love her so damn much.
Two months later…
Sitting out on the deck, I try to cool down after my morning swim and run. Waverly isn’t home. She left to run a couple errands when I went out. The morning music, as Waverly calls it, fills me and calms me. She really did pick a beautiful spot to build on.
Our wedding date is quickly approaching, and I’m looking forward to getting away with no distractions, just us. I love the family, but I just want to be her and me for a moment, and there always seems to be something popping up stopping any alone time between us. We just had little Waverly here for a whole weekend so that Dani and Luke could get away for some husband and wife reconnection time.
It really brought forward how bad I want to start our own family. Our own kids growing and laughing and learning all of life’s wonders. The wedding can’t get here soon enough. I plan to use our honeymoon to make sure we start that family. Waverly wants to wait until we’re married before we try. She never said how married. I laugh to myself at the thought.
“Legend?” Waverly calls from inside.
Grabbing my cup, I walk in and go to the kitchen sink to rinse it. “Yeah?”
“We need to sit down and decide which side we want to fence in and how. As well as which side we want to reserve to build out on.” She says as she drops an arm full of things on the floor.
“Honey, don’t you think we have enough on our plates with the wedding? Can’t this wait until we come home from the honeymoon.” I ask as I walk to the table.
“No, no we can’t wait. Don’t you understand,” she practically screams.
It’s then that I see that she’s crying and shaking. Moving around the table as quickly as I can, I lead her to the couch and take her hands in mine.