First Love

by Amy Brent

  “I’m still shocked at how fast this place sold,” Caroline said. “I mean it is a great house, don’t get me wrong, but it’s a house in Camden. Who would want to buy a house in this tiny little town?”

  “I don’t know,” I said. “And I probably won’t know since they wanted to remain anonymous.”

  “Did they lowball you on the price?” Caroline asked.

  “No,” I said. “They agreed to pay the asking price and paid for closing. It literally cost me nothing to sell, and I made about fifty grand compared to what I bought it for. I almost didn’t believe it was true, but they handed me the check yesterday after I signed the papers.”

  “That’s completely insane,” Caroline said. “I’m glad it happened for you, but where the hell is my luck?”

  “I think it’s fate,” I said. “For the longest time, I swore the universe was playing games with me. I felt like it was dangling a carrot in front of me and then yanking it away when I got close. I realized when I got back here that for me and Brandt to really be happy together, we had to let go of all of our insecurities and all of our past. We had to be free to love each other the right way. That was what every trial we had was about, freeing us up to really love each other.”

  “That’s pretty hippie of you,” Caroline said, nudging me. “I’m impressed. I thought I was the only one who thought that way.”

  “You’re rubbing off on me.” I laughed. “Before you know it, I’ll be wearing broom skirts and not shaving my pits.”

  “Whoa, calm down.” Caroline laughed. “And I shave my pits, by the way.”

  We all started laughing, just like we did so many times before, growing up as best friends. I was really going to miss these girls, but I couldn’t let myself get upset or I would be crying the entire way to New York. I took their hands and walked over to the car, opening up all the doors.

  “What are you doing?” Gillian asked.

  “My dad always told me to check a third time before leaving on a long trip to make sure I had everything,” I said.

  “Did you see your parents?”

  “Yeah,” I sighed. “It was long and tearful, especially for my mother. She acted like I was leaving for another country.”

  “Aw,” Gillian said. “Your mom is so sweet.”

  “Yes, she is,” I said checking through all my bags, counting the different boxes and going through my mental checklist. I wanted to know I wasn’t leaving anything behind because it would be a while before I was coming back to Camden.

  “All right,” the supervising mover said, walking over with a clipboard. “Everything is out of the house and packed up in the truck. I just need you to make this signature for Mr. Ellis, and we can be on our way.”

  “Perfect,” I said, signing my name. “We should be there around the same time, but Brandt will be there to direct you guys where to go. There’s a service entrance off the main street that has an elevator to make things easier. He’s on the top of floor of a New York City high-rise.”

  “Good. I hate stairs,” he said as he laughed. “Have a safe drive.”

  “You too,” I said.

  Caroline, Gillian, and I stood back in the grass as the movers closed the truck and jumped inside the cab. I shook my head as Gillian sniffled next to me, watching the truck pull out and drive away. I was emotional about a lot of things but not about watching the moving truck drive off down the street. When it had disappeared around the corner, Caroline turned to me and handed me a duffle bag.

  “Uh, if there’s cash and a passport in here, we are going to need to talk,” I said.

  “Shit, I brought the wrong bag.” She laughed. “No, this is a car package for the road. You’re driving a long way, and you’re pregnant. It has a ton of snacks, juice boxes, and some tissues.”

  “Aw, you guys are the best,” I said, hugging them both. “Okay, no tears. We’re going to see each other soon.”

  “We’ll be there when the baby is born, if not sooner,” Gillian said excitedly. “Just be safe, and know we’re only an hour flight away.”

  “I know,” I said. “I’m going to be fine, more than fine actually. I’ll be with Brandt, and he’ll take care of me.”

  “He better,” Caroline said, pulling me in for a hug. “Come here. I love you. Be safe driving and call us when you get there.”

  “I will,” I said, hugging Gillian.

  I couldn’t even to begin to express how much I was going to miss these two girls. They had been my survival kit my entire life. We had gone through every major event in our lives to that point together. Even when I’d been in college, I was really close, and Gillian was there with me. It was heartbreaking thinking about them not being able to come over and watch chick flicks and gorge on ice cream at any time. Even worse, they wouldn’t be close to watch the baby grow, and that was what worried me the most. At the same time, my life in New York was calling for me. I loved Brandt and Sicily so much, and just thinking about them made me want to head out. I would miss my girls, but my family was waiting for me, wanting me to come home. I was ready to go home to them, readier than I ever had been in my entire life.

  I climbed into the car and adjusted my mirrors, rolling down the windows and waving at Caroline and Gillian as I pulled out of the driveway. I drove down through the town, smiling at all the places I grew up going to. This town would always be a part of me, but it no longer felt like home. Brandt felt like home, and wherever he was, I knew I would be safe and happy. There had never been another man in my life who made me feel that way, and I knew I was heading in the right direction. Life had a strange way of leading me down roads I never thought I would take, and as I drove out of Camden, watching it disappear into my rearview window, I knew this was one of those roads. It was exciting, terrifying, and thrilling all at the same time, and there was no doubt in my mind that I was making the right choice.

  I reached down and turned on the radio, switching the channels until I found something modern. I stuck one hand out the window and felt the warm summer air flow over me. I had been up, down, way down, way up, and all over the place ever since Valentine’s Day. For someone who hated that holiday, it sure was funny that it was the day I’d met Brandt and the day we conceived our child. Ever since then, I had been clawing my way to happiness, hitting some really big bumps and thinking I would never recover but coming out on the other side better than I started. I wasn’t sure where life would take me from there, but I knew that with Brandt and Sicily by my side, there was no way it could be bad. Valentine’s Day had jumpstarted my life, and though it was hard to see at the beginning, it was the best boost I had ever gotten.

  I wasn’t just heading toward my new home or to a new city or even to a new boyfriend, but I was also headed full steam ahead to my happily ever after. Brandt was the love of my life, and I knew we were going to go through life hand in hand, making the most out of everything that life threw us. I knew we were going to build a home and a family together and that I was going to have that life I’d always wanted with a man who constantly took my breath away. Our life may not seem like it was perfect to other people, but to us, it would always seem like a dream life. Finally, after all that time, after all the trials and tribulations in my life and with Brandt, we were running headfirst into happiness. Nothing was ever going to get in my way again, and that was a promise I would make myself, Sicily, Brandt, and this new baby growing in my belly.

  Chapter 39

  Brandt

  The view from the balcony was probably the best one yet. It wasn’t because the city looked any different than normal, it wasn’t the sunset, and it wasn’t the temperature of the air. The view from the balcony was so perfect because of the woman sitting next to me. Emma was finally home, right where she was always supposed to be. To feel her hand clutched around mine was the best feeling in the whole world. I had sat there all day, watching the clock, waiting for her to arrive. We texted and talked during her entire drive, trying to make the time go faster. We didn’t think sh
e would be there that soon, but her house had sold, and as soon as it did, she’d made her way out to New York. I actually hadn’t expected her until late that night, but she surprised us, getting there in time to kiss Sicily good night before she went to bed.

  It was the most amazing surprise for both of us, but I could tell it really meant a lot to Sicily. She had fallen in love with the woman who would now be a mother figure in her life. When she walked through that door a couple hours ago, Sicily had lit up like a Christmas tree, so glad she got to see her before she went to bed. She had begged me all day to let her stay up to see her, but I had no idea how late it would be. I had promised her she could wake her up in the morning, but that didn’t appease my daughter. She was too impatient. The fact that Emma purposely went out of her way to get there early for Sicily was the best gift she could have given me.

  I looked over at Emma who was lounging in the chair with her little swollen feet propped up. She looked so beautiful sitting there with the lights of the city reflecting off her like shimmering gold. I squeezed her hand tightly and looked back out over the city, so happy and thankful that our life could finally get started. We had waited for so long, fought so hard, and tried our best to be patient, and it was all paying off right there in that moment.

  “That drive was long,” she said.

  “I know,” I replied. “I told you we should have had the car towed and put you on a plane.”

  “Meh, it was good for me,” she said. “Besides, the flights were booked until tomorrow, and there was no way I was letting you put me on a private plane. That would have been a bit ridiculous.”

  “I’m just happy you’re home,” I said with a smile. “Oh, so I was walking through the guest room the other day, and I think I have an idea to make a gorgeous nursery.”

  “Listen to you, home makeovers.” She laughed.

  “I’m serious.” I chuckled. “We can turn the office into a spare bedroom because I never use it anyway. If I’m home, then I’m not working.”

  “I think I picked out the hospital,” she said.

  “Really? Which one?”

  “Well, we have to do a tour still, but I’m thinking about the women’s mission hospital in Manhattan,” I said. “It’s close, holistic, and there are so many options for birthing. They’re the sweetest people to talk to. They made me feel like I was at home.”

  “Good,” he said.

  “And I can go to my doctor’s appointments there too,” she said. “It’s perfect. I made an appointment for next week, and my doc from Camden is sending everything over. It’s a really big appointment too.”

  “Why?”

  “We get to find out if we’re having a boy or a girl,” she said excitedly. “Unless you don’t want to know.”

  “I don’t like surprises.” I laughed. “At least not ones like that.”

  “Good,” she said. “I’ll send the appointment to your secretary so she can remind you when it’s coming up.”

  “You got this on lockdown already,” I said impressed. “You and my secretary are going to be best friends, I can already tell.”

  “I hope so. I need a friend or two in this city.” She laughed. “So, yeah. Next week, we can stop calling the baby it, and start saying he or she.”

  “I want a healthy baby,” I said. “But if I got to choose, I would love to have a little boy. I’ve been itching to add another guy to the mix around here. I’m surrounded by you girls all the time.”

  “I agree,” she said. “I’ve always dreamed of having a son, and on top of that, I already have a beautiful little girl in my life. She cannot be replaced, and I don’t ever want her to not feel special. She really has become one of the most important people in my life, no joke. I was just as excited, if not more excited, to see her as I was to see you. I really loved how she lit up when I got there in time to kiss her good night. I left early so I could make that happen. I wanted it to be a surprise.”

  “It was the best surprise ever,” I said, leaning over and kissing her.

  When Sicily hit six years old, I’d started to worry what it would be like for her growing up without a maternal influence in her life. I knew I couldn’t be the mother and the father, and my mom would do the best that she could, but she was still a grandmother. When Emma came into our lives, I realized she was the best person I could possibly imagine to be there for Sicily, to guide her, and to be a mother and a friend to her. I knew when she showed up today just to kiss her good night that I had made the perfect choice. Sicily was going to be surrounded by people who loved her, cherished her, and appreciated every second she was able to spend with us. I never thought I would find Emma, and then there she was like it was fate.

  It was almost as if Sicily could hear my thoughts. We both looked over as she struggled, pulling the sliding glass door open and rubbing her eyes. I gave Emma a pouty face, and she smiled at me, reaching her hand out so I could help her up. She pulled herself to her feet and stretched for a second before walking over to Sicily and crouching down in front of her. We could both tell she wasn’t really that awake, not fully. I sat back and watched as Emma rubbed her tummy and brought her in close, hugging her tightly and calming whatever was going on with her. I couldn’t tell for even a second that Sicily wasn’t her biological daughter, and if I couldn’t tell, I knew that Sicily couldn’t either, which was really important.

  “What’s going on, sweetie?” Emma whispered.

  “I don’t know,” Sicily whimpered.

  “Did you have a bad dream?”

  “Yeah,” she said, really reminding me she was still just a little girl.

  “Come here,” Emma said, pulling her in again and hugging her tightly.

  Emma wrapped her arms around her and walked over to the chair, sitting down and rocking her back and forth. Sicily laid her head on Emma’s shoulder and closed her eyes, the stress on her face melting away with the touch of Emma’s hand against her hair. I smiled at Emma and shook my head, blown away by the natural caring that emanated from her. She sat rocking Sicily back and forth for about fifteen minutes. When Sicily had fallen back to sleep, Emma looked over at me and smiled. I shook my head and winked at her, feeling the comfort and solitude in the moment.

  “Help me up,” she whispered.

  I got up and walked behind her, lifting her up under her arms and stabilizing her as she held Sicily close to her. I leaned forward and kissed her lips softly, whispering to her that I loved her. She smiled big for the first time in a long time.

  “I’m going to put her to bed,” she whispered. “I’ll be back in a little bit. I want to make sure she stays asleep when I lay her down.”

  “Okay,” I said, smiling. “I’ll be right here.”

  I sat back down in the chair and watched as Emma carried Sicily inside and out of sight. I pulled out my phone and scrolled through my emails, stopping halfway and reminding myself that I needed to be more present when I was home. I needed to tuck my cell phone away and focus on the family I had worked so hard to get. I leaned back in my chair and crossed my legs in front of me, staring up at the clear night sky. I was shocked at how many stars I could see, and I thought back to the nights Emma and I had spent in Camden. Sitting out on the quilt in the park after watching the sunset, I lay back and could see every star in the sky. I could remember thinking about how much Sicily would love it, sitting there staring up at the Milky Way, seeing all the different constellations that weren’t viewable from the city because of all the lights.

  Part of me missed being in Camden, feeling the down-home love and caring that the people there gave to me and to Emma. There, a hardware store was actually a hardware store and not some huge corporate conglomerate. I knew I would go back there, and I knew I would always be a city boy, but it was still a really nice escape. I picked up my beer and realized it was empty. I stood up and walked into the house, carefully opening the fridge and grabbing another one. When I glanced over at the clock, I noticed Emma had been gone longer than I thought.
I had gotten so caught up in the stars, I wasn’t paying any attention at all. I put the beer down on the counter and walked down the hall, carefully opening Sicily’s door.

  I stood there and chuckled quietly, leaning against the doorframe and looking at Sicily’s bed. Emma and Sicily were both asleep, curled up in each other’s arms and surrounded by all of Sicily’s stuffed animals. They were sleeping nose to nose, and Sicily had a hold on Emma’s hand. I couldn’t help myself. I literally stood in that doorway for probably thirty minutes staring down at the two most important women in my life. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. My little girl in her pink pajamas curled up facing my beautiful girlfriend, her little round baby belly between the two of them, poking out from under her shirt. They both looked so content and peaceful, and I was almost jealous I wasn’t a part of it.

  I figured I would let her rest there until bedtime and slowly backed away, going and grabbing my beer and heading back outside. There was nothing better than sitting on my balcony, drinking a beer, with my two ladies comfortably and safely asleep in the other room. I had everything important to me in one house, and I would never let anything change that again. I had finally found my happily ever after, something I thought only existed in movies and fairy tales. I had never been more wrong about that, and as I sipped my drink under the shimmering stars and glistening cityscape, I realized there was no way I could be any happier than I was right then and there.

  Epilogue