Secrets & Lies

by Mia Ford

  “How was work?” Jessica asks.

  “Fine,” I say with a shrug. “It’s Monday, so it wasn’t too busy during the day. Fiona looks damn sick though. I might have to pull some extra shifts for her soon.”

  “What about the Sunday worker?” Jessica asks.

  “Graham has another job,” I say. “He’s only still working Sundays as a favor to Fiona and I. He won’t be able to pick up too many shifts. Maybe I’ll ask some of the guys if anyone wants a little extra money.”

  “As long as they have the right qualifications,” Jessica laughs.

  “That’s a given,” I say wryly. “I might have to ask Ethan; he got a license years ago, so he at least know what he’s doing.”

  “Wouldn’t it be expired by now?” Jessica asks.

  “I’d rather he do it with an expired license then some shitty idiot that has no idea,” I reply.

  Automatically, I look up. It’s become common practice to look for Owen the moment a swear word slips loose, though I’m getting better at catching the words before they leave my mouth. Luckily, Owen is nowhere near the kitchen right now.

  “Couldn’t the owner get in trouble if someone figured it out?” Jessica asks, frowning.

  “If they figure it out,” I say. I shrug. “It doesn’t matter. I don’t think the owner would be happy taking on a temp, so I’ll probably fill in, and the bar will open later on the days I can’t do.”

  “Fair enough,” Jessica says. “I guess we should get as much time out of you tonight as we can if you’re going to be a rare sight over the next few days.”

  She grins to take the sting out of her words, and I know she’s joking. One month ago, she never would have been comfortable making a comment like that.

  But things have changed in the last four weeks. It’s hard to believe that I’m standing here now, especially after everything that happened between us. A month ago, I was so certain that there was no way Jessica and I could be in a relationship ever again.

  Yet, here we are. I’m standing in her kitchen, telling her about my work day, and she’s teasing me while our son plays in the living room. Everything feels so simple now, and my mind still sometimes struggles to comprehend how easy everything is.

  Was it like this three years ago? I honestly don’t remember. I know we worked well together, I know we loved each other, but did we have this easy familiarity with each other that speaks of all secrets told and a ready acceptance of each other? I honestly don’t think we did.

  But we have it now. In some ways, our relationship now is far stronger than the one we had then. Jessica is making the extra effort to tell me as soon as she’s worried about something. I’m making sure she knows where I am and if I’m going to be late. We’re both doing our best to find the rhythm of our relationship while taking care of our son.

  We aren’t quite there yet. It isn’t going to happen overnight, or in a week or even a month. There’s still a lot of hurt from both of us. There are still nights when I lie beside Jessica and wonder if she’ll still be there in the morning. Some days are harder than others.

  But we’re still here, in this kitchen, and that has to count for something.

  “Do you have the onions?” Jessica asks. “I can start chopping them.”

  “Thanks,” I say gratefully; I despise cutting onions. “I’ll start dicing the steak then.”

  We fish out knives, and then we’re standing side-by-side, cutting ingredients for dinner. Jessica playfully nudges me with her elbow and I nudge her back, grinning widely. Today is a good day, without the still creeping thoughts. Today is a day when I can look at Jessica and be reminded of just how beautiful she is and how much I need her.

  I like these days, and they’re happening more and more often. One day, I hope, the bad days won’t happen anymore. I think that will be a reality sooner rather than later.

  “What did you get up to today?” I ask.

  “Owen and I went shopping with Hayley,” Jessica says. “I don’t get it; Owen adores her. She doesn’t seem to get it either, and she gets all flustered, which is kind of cute, to be honest. She keeps trying to do this tough guy act with him, but he just giggles and she melts into a pile of goo.”

  “Seriously?” I ask incredulously.

  I’ve never seen Hayley as anything other than tough and mean. She fits right in with the guys, and can drink some of the far larger club members under the table. It’s a running joke among us that she should be wearing our jacket too, despite the fact that she doesn’t ride a motorbike. Sometimes, she feels like a better fit for the group than Alex, who is quiet, proper and focused.

  “Yeah,” Jessica says, grinning. “You’ll have to come see. Then you can tell Alex about it. He’ll never let her live it down.”

  I snort. “You’re not buying into that ‘mutual hate’ relationship, either?”

  “Come on, they’re totally fucking,” Jessica says, rolling her eyes. “She went on for nearly half an hour about how Alex bought the last packet of chips that she wanted when they ran into each other at the store the other day.”

  “I’m surprised she didn’t brawl him for it,” I muse.

  “So am I,” Jessica admits. “But I wasn’t about to say that to her.”

  “It might have been amusing,” I grin.

  “I value my life too much, thanks.” Jessica chops the last of the onion and pushes it away, scowling as her eyes water. “In saying that, I really like Hayley, and she’s become a really good friend. I don’t know how, but, somehow, she has.”

  “That’s the thing with Hayley,” I say sagely. “One day she appears, and then it’s like she’s always been there. Not only that, but you grow fond of her, despite how damn rude she is.”

  “Talking from experience?” Jessica teases.

  “Lots of experience,” I say, rolling my eyes.

  Jessica giggles and sweeps the onion into a pot. She turns away to carry it over to the stove, and I turn my head to watch the sway of her hips. She’s dressed in jeans and a too-large shirt that I think belongs to me, which is incredibly sexy.

  I shake my mind out of the gutter. Now isn’t the time. Jessica turns and catches my eyes.

  “You watching me?” she asks, smiling.

  “Of course,” I grin.

  She reaches up and tucks her hair behind her ear, her smile turning soft in that way it sometimes does. There’s such warmth in her eyes that I feel it emanating through my entire body.

  “I love you.”

  The words hang in the air between us. It takes me a moment of surprise to realize that I’m the one who said the words. I blink wildly as the smile drops from her face and she gapes instead.

  Oh, shit, I didn’t mean to say that.

  I’ve still been trying to figure out my feelings. I knew they were deepening. But I haven’t been able to voice them. Jessica has been really good about it, and avoids saying the words to me, not wanting to pressure me. She always tells me how much I mean to her, though, saying that she never wants to regret not saying it again.

  I almost want to take the words back. But they feel right, and a weight lifts off my chest, as though the verbalization of the words I haven’t been able to say has freed something within me. My mouth opens and closes several times, but nothing comes out. On the stove, the onions start to hiss as they cook, but neither of us pay them much mind.

  I know Jessica wants to ask, but she’s too afraid to break the silence. Am I serious? Did I mean it? Knowing the answers to those questions could change out entire relationship again. Are we ready for that?

  I look into her blue eyes. And I know the answer.

  “I love you,” I repeat, this time fully conscious of doing so. I step forward and reach out to cup her face in my hands.

  “I love you, too,” Jessica says, and her eyes are filling with tears even as a smile spreads across her face. “But…”

  “Don’t,” I interrupt. “Don’t try to analyze it or question it. I think I’ve felt this way
for a long time.” I pause. “I don’t think I ever stopped loving you, not really. Part of you was always with me, no matter how far I tried to run from you. You just never let me go.”

  “Is that a good thing?” Jessica asks with a teary chuckle.

  “Yeah, let’s say it is,” I say.

  She smiles. I move to kiss her again, but, suddenly, she pulls back. Confused, I watch as she draws in a deep breath.

  “I was doing some thinking,” she says quietly. “I don’t want you to think I’m just doing this because you said you loved me… I went and got the paperwork and everything the other day.”

  “Paperwork?” I ask, frowning. “What for?”

  “I…” She looks up, setting her shoulders. “I want Owen to take your last name.”

  I stare at her. There’s an odd ringing in my ears. I’m not sure I just heard what I think I heard.

  “I think it would be a good idea,” she continues when I don’t say anything. “I mean, he’s your son too. I chose his first name. I raised him, and, maybe…” She falters. “If he had your name, it’ll maybe fix some of what I did to both of you.”

  I can barely breathe. I want this so badly, and I didn’t even realize I wanted it.

  “I didn’t ask…” I croak.

  “I know you didn’t,” she says, smiling gently. “I want to do it.”

  The truth is there, in her eyes. I can see love and trust, and it overwhelms me, because I didn’t know I how much something like this, the representation of how much trust she had in me after everything, would mean the world to me.

  But it does. I lean in and kiss her softly. This, here, is everything I need. Jessica is in my arms, Owen is playing happily, and I have my family, It still hasn’t solved everything. But that’s okay. Because Jessica and I are going to be able to work through everything together.

  Suddenly, Jessica pulls away with a sharp gasp.

  “The onions!” she yelps.

  She pushes me back and turns around to the stove. The onions are hissing frantically now, and I peer over her shoulder to see most of them have stuck to the bottom of the pot.

  “Look what you’ve done,” she complains, but she’s grinning up at me. “You’re cutting new onions for me!”

  “Oops,” I say. “Fair enough.”

  I turn around to fish some more onions out of the bag as Jessica puts the pot in the sink. Before I can pick up the knife again, though, her slim arms wind around my waist, and I feel her press her forehead on my back.

  “I love you,” she whispers.

  Before, I would never answer. How could I? Anything other than a response would be insulting in some way, even if I didn’t mean it to be. But now, I can.

  “I love you, too,” I say.

  Part of me is never going to completely understand how we got here. But none of that matters. Jessica and I have fought through the trials that our old relationship threw in our path, and we’re both stronger people for it. We’re both ready, now, to have a relationship that means something. We’re family.

  We’re going to last.

  I hope you enjoyed your time with Grant and Jessica! If you loved this one, you would not want to miss my Amazon bestselling boxed set, Good Girls Bad Boys. It is a collection of 4 Amazon TOP 100 books. I have included an excerpt from the same in the following pages. So, keep reading!

  Excerpt

  Four standalone romances for good girls who love bad boys.

  Escape into the world of adventure, romance, drama and passion as these bad boys promise to entertain you all night long.

  Stories included in the box set:

  Inseparable

  She’s meant to be mine, and this time I’m not letting her go!

  I’m done with gold diggers,

  And growing my business is all that matters to me.

  Until…

  I spot her at the bar.

  She ignites that passion in me…once again!

  And I decide to claim her for good.

  Forever Yours

  Screw him.

  My ex was more of a wife beater than a bad boy, and I’m never going back.

  But that means I’ve got to be careful.

  I can’t let anyone get close. Especially not Ted.

  The Promise

  Lydia Burns…so damn gorgeous…

  My heart stops a beat whenever I see you,

  You are the girl of my dreams,

  And I’ve always loved you.

  So what, if you don’t know it already!

  So what, if I have to break all the rules to make you mine!

  Coming Together

  I always wanted my first time to be perfect,

  And with someone with whom I could spend my entire life with.

  But work seldom gave me a chance to go out…

  Who knew that heading to a childhood friend’s wedding might just be my first meeting with Mr. Right!

  Amanda

  The waiter glanced at the empty seat across from me at my table as he filled my water glass for the second time. I straightened the fork on the linen napkin in front of me and sighed, putting my hands in my lap. The restaurant was full, and there were people waiting at the front for tables. I felt slightly uncomfortable sitting there without ordering anything, but I wasn’t quite sure what was going on yet. I stopped the waiter before he left my table and requested a glass of chardonnay so that at least I wouldn’t be sitting there empty-handed. I was supposed to be meeting my best friend Lindsey to go over some wedding details.

  Lindsey had been my best friend since before I could remember. We had grown up together and continued our lives in the same place, Los Angeles, California. We were LA girls and that would never change. Lindsey had met her fiancé Jordan Smith at a happy hour event at that very restaurant, and it was all history from there. I liked Jordan a lot, and the two of them fit together so perfectly. At times it made me jealous, but then I remembered what kind of assholes that men could be.

  In any case, Lindsey was supposed to be there to talk about her upcoming wedding. I was the Maid of Honor, and the big day was only a month away with about a thousand things to get done. I loved her, but sometimes, it was like she thought these things would magically get solved if she just ignored them. The wedding planning had started out with a bang after her engagement, but the closer we got, the more exhausted I could see her getting with it all. We were all at the point where we just wanted the wedding to be there. I reached in my purse and pulled out my phone, which was buzzing wildly.

  “Where are you?” I whispered with irritation.

  “I’m so sorry, Amanda,” she said. “I have a photo shoot going on, and I thought it would be over, but things are taking way too long. I don’t think I can make dinner today. We will reschedule really soon.”

  Lindsey was one of those girls with the perfect body, perfect complexion, and curves in all the right places. She was not just a could-be model but an actual one. She lived a luxurious life, and it always made me giggle seeing her on different ads through the city. She was so goofy in real life but so serious when it came to her job. I sighed and took a drink of my wine.

  “It’s alright,” I said. “Call me when you’re done, and we’ll reschedule.”

  “Thank you,” she said sweetly. “I love you to pieces. I gotta go. The photographer is coming back.”

  I hung up the phone, and my smile quickly faded away. I tried to be understanding, but I was a little irritated. I had been sitting there on my own for over twenty minutes. I looked around, feeling my stomach grumbling and decided why not just eat there. I was already sitting there. I flagged the waiter down and whispered to him.

  “My guest is not coming,” I said. “I’m going to stay, but I’ll move to the bar to free this table up for someone else.”

  “Very good, ma’am,” he said with a smile and nod. “I’ll have your check transferred over.”

  “I’m very sorry,” I said, standing up and grabbing my clutch off the table.
r />   “It’s really no problem,” he said kindly, leading me to the bar. “It happens a lot.”

  I smiled and stood to the side as he turned and headed into the back. I shook my head, slightly embarrassed about having to cancel a table like that, but the last thing I wanted to do was sit alone at a table and eat. I walked over to the bar and smiled, hanging my bag over the back of the chair and climbing up to sit down. I placed my clutch on the bar and looked down, doing a double take at the really handsome man sitting two chairs down. He smiled at me, and I blushed, looking back at the bartender as he handed me a menu. As I skimmed down the list of entrees and placed my order, I could see the hot guy moving over beside me.

  “Do you mind if I sit down?” he asked.

  “Not at all,” I replied, feeling the instant attraction between the two of us.

  “I’m Nathan,” he said, reaching his hand out.

  “Amanda,” I replied with a smile.

  “What brings you here all alone today, Amanda?”

  “I was supposed to meet my best friend, but work kept her away,” I said.

  “Her loss, my gain,” he replied with a charming smile.

  “How about you?”

  “Drinking my problems away,” he said with a laugh. “I’m just kidding. I wanted to get away from the crowds, I guess.”

  “I can understand that,” I said, laughing.

  We sat, ate, drank, and talked through the whole evening. He was really charming, and he happened to own his own tech company, though I wasn’t sure which one. From the look of the Rolex on his wrist and the Louis Vuitton suit he was wearing, I suspected he didn’t do too bad for himself. The drinks were starting to go to my head, but I didn’t mind at all. I was enjoying this unexpected meeting.

  “I had to talk her out of floral print for the bridesmaids.” I laughed. “It’s been a nightmare.”

  “It sounds like it.” He chuckled, finishing up his drink and looking around the emptying restaurant. “Seems like we might have overstayed our welcome.”