by Grace Herbst
Ashley tried not to laugh. “And you don’t want to bring the healthy snacks?”
Ms. Bartlett gave her a smile as she grabbed an apron from her panty and wrapped it around herself. “Usually, we do. But today we are celebrating one of the boys’ birthday and he has requested a birthday party. His favorite cookies are Chocolate Chip and I promised to bring some homemade cookies. They are so much better than store bought ones. So do you want to help me?”
Ashley shrugged, but she finally agreed. She couldn’t remember the last time she had baked cookies. Her memories of her mother consisted of the little things like listening to her while she read her a bedtime story. Or dressing up and playing tea party with her dolls. With the short time she had with her mother, there was no memory of her and her mom baking delicious cookies together like she was doing with Ms. Bartlett now. Whoever this kid was, he had made an excellent choice in cookies.
As they followed the instructions, Ashley began the conversation. “I don’t suppose you have heard about my old nickname?” she asked. She didn’t know why that came out of her mouth, but that was the first thing that popped in her head. Ms. Bartlett shook her head. “My friends used to call me “Ace” on account of me winning all the time. You know like “ace in the hole”? It didn’t matter if it was board games or card games or sports. I was a master at winning.”
“Are you still a master at winning games?” Ms. Bartlett asked with a smile.
Ashley shrugged. “I don’t know. I haven’t played a game in a while. It doesn’t matter anyway. I want to start over with a new beginning and that means getting rid of my old nickname. I’m just plain old Ashley for right now. No nicknames.”
“Good for you. Sometimes it’s good to make a change,” Ms. Bartlett replied. “Are you willing to test your skills at the community center?”
Ashley tried not to laugh. “I don’t think so. I don’t do well with kids. I almost killed one, remember?”
She didn’t want to admit it, but that car accident still haunted her. Jennifer tried to discuss the car accident with Ashley during the sessions, but it was too soon for her to talk about it. She still felt guilty about almost killing that kid.
Ms. Bartlett looked at her sadly. “You really need to let that go. You’ll never be able to forget that night if you don’t forgive yourself for that mistake. That boy is still alive. Have you talked to the family since the car accident? Have they forgiven you?”
Ashley let out a heavy sigh. “I did apologize to the family for my actions, but I’m not sure if they believed me. After all, I was a drunk teenager who knew better than to try to drive home. I’m surprised they didn’t fight the judge on giving me probation and community service.”
“Maybe that was a sign they had forgiven you,” Ms. Bartlett suggested. “But you really will never know unless you talk to them again.” Ashley didn’t answer. “Are you sure you don’t want to come with me? I’m not asking you to play with the children. I just thought you would help me supervise them.”
Ashley changed the subject. “Last night, you told me that you have gone through the same thing as me. What did you mean by that?”
Ms. Bartlett was silent for a moment. “Are you sure you want to know?” Ashley didn’t want to believe that she could relate to her, but she had a feeling she was different. That there was a reason why Mrs. Campbell wanted her to see Ms. Bartlett. She nodded her head.
“Unlike you, I was adopted when I was three. I didn’t remember my biological parents. Therefore, my adopted parents were my parents. They were the best parents I could ever ask for, but I still felt like something was missing. I wanted to know more about my biological parents. My adopted parents were against it though. They didn’t think I needed to know.”
Ashley was quiet as Ms. Bartlett continued her story. “I persisted with the investigation.” There was a long pause. Ashley waited to see how much she would tell her about her history with her parents. “As you probably guessed, there’s a reason why I was taken away from them. They were drug users.”
“When I found out, I was afraid that I was meant to follow in their footsteps. The history of my family really got to me. I began to do the same things my parents had done and I ended up in juvenile detention a couple of times. Luckily, I had a mentor who helped me before I got too far into the hole. It wasn’t easy for me to get back up either. I really felt like I was going to go backwards at times, but I kept on pushing through.” There was a short pause. “It helped that I had a great support system. My adopted parents. My mentor. My real friends.”
Ashley got the hint. “I still have a few friends here. And that’s who I’m going to stick by.”
Ms. Bartlett raised her eyebrows. “What about your friends in Emerald? Lucas? Or Chloe? Or Jill and Gwen? Do you really want to go through your two final years of high school without your new best friends?”
“I’m sure they would get along fine without me,” Ashley replied. She didn’t want to admit it, but she had already begun to miss them. She missed having a best friend next door. She missed talking to Lucas while he served her at the diner counter. It was crazy because it had only been one day since she had left Emerald and she had known her new friends for just a few weeks. So why did she miss them already? “They probably don’t even realize I’m gone.”
“No, they don’t and they won’t know about it,” Ms. Bartlett admitted. “Your dad and Michelle are planning to tell everyone your family is dealing with a family emergency and that’s why you aren’t in school. They are giving you time to think about what you truly want to do. They are willing to arrange for you to stay here if that’s what you want. I don’t believe it though.”
Ashley looked at her. “You don’t believe what?”
“You and I know you’re not here because you think you don’t belong in Emerald. It’s obvious why you’re here. You’re running away from your problems. Do you really think you’re going to do well with your old friends? The ones who smoke? Drink? And do drugs? What about stealing? I’m sure they do that too.” Ashley didn’t answer. “I know you don’t want to hear it, but you know it’s true.”
The words started to sound a lot like her aunt’s voice. That was the last thing Ashley wanted. She had enough of listening to Ms. Bartlett. “I’m going to go and take a shower. Then I’m going to get out of here.” She didn’t let Ms. Bartlett respond as she disappeared into the hall.
Ashley kept thinking about Ms. Bartlett’s story while she was in the shower. Her story was sad, but their stories were in no way similar. Yes, she went down that dark path just like Ashley did and she had to fight to get back out of the hole. However, that was the only thing in common. Ms. Bartlett had to learn she wasn’t like her parents, but Ashley had made the decision to rebel against her dad. The story may have been told to try and relate to her, but Ashley didn’t feel that it did. That was her conclusion and Ashley didn’t think any more about it.
By the time she returned to the kitchen, the cookies were finished and the tray was laying on the kitchen counter. “These are finished. I’ll pack a couple of the cookies up for you as soon as they are completely cooled,” Ms. Bartlett said. Ashley looked at her. Even though Ms. Bartlett promised she wouldn’t bring her back to Emerald, she was expecting her to force her to stay there with her. But she was allowing her to leave. It sounded too good to be true.
“You’re not going to make me stay here?” Ashley asked, still trying to believe it. “I can leave?”
“As I said before, you are welcome to stay here as long as you like,” Ms. Bartlett said. “But I do wish you would let me drive you to wherever you plan to go. After all, I know my neighborhood and I don’t want to see you get lost.”
Ashley rolled her eyes. As much as Ms. Bartlett wasn’t a parent, she knew what she was really thinking. “Admit it. You don’t want me to get mixed up with those college students. Relax. It’s not like I’m going to a bar.”
“I know, but I would still rather drive you myself. I ju
st won’t be able to do it until I’m finished at the community center. Of course, you could always come with me.”
Ashley was getting annoyed. “In case you have forgotten, I don’t do well with kids,” she reminded her. “Forget it. I’ll just call one of my friends and ask them to pick me up.” She pulled out her phone and started looking through her phone book. “What’s your address?”
“Who are you planning to call?” Ms. Bartlett asked. “Roxanne Spencer?”
Ashley turned to her. “How much did Michelle tell you about me and my former friendship with Roxanne?”
“I know of Roxanne Spencer by reputation only,” Ms. Bartlett told her. “I’ve seen her around campus talking to students. I know she’s a party girl who loves to drink and smoke. I don’t know how you got caught up with her, but I really don’t want to see you reconcile with her.”
Ashley was quiet for a moment. “Don’t worry. You don’t have to concern yourself about that. She already came by my house and tried to make up with me, but I told her I wasn’t planning on reconciling with her. And I meant it. I want a clean slate and I know I can’t do that if I start hanging out with her again. So you don’t have to worry. She’s the last person I want to see.” Although she had to go and see her eventually. She had some things she needed to say.
“Then there’s really no reason for you not to come with me to the community center,” Ms. Bartlett pressed. Ashley tried not to laugh. “You don’t need to play with the children. Just watch them and break up any fights. Having a birthday party with cupcakes and cookies means a lot of kids with plenty of energy. We need all the help we can get. I promise I will take you and drop you off wherever you want to go after the party.”
Ashley knew she could trust her. She hadn’t broken a promise yet. “Alright. You win. I’ll go with you.” Ms. Bartlett smiled. “Just don’t expect me to have any fun.
Chapter 15
Ashley kept an eye on the kids while they played birthday games. The guest of honor was thrilled to be the center of attention. However, he didn’t like losing and the supervisors did their best to help him understand it was okay to lose. Ashley couldn’t blame him. It was his party, but they had to play fair.
Ms. Bartlett had asked her if she had ever been to the community center before. Ashley had to admit that this was her first time. When she was growing up, she had always gone to her grandmother’s house or a friend’s house after school. As she grew older, she moved onto after-school activities and hanging out with Roxanne.
“Are you sure you don’t want to take a turn and play with them?” Ms. Bartlett asked Ashley. She shook her head. She had no interest in playing games with these little kids. “When is the last time you played pin the tail on the donkey? Or did a treasure hunt?”
“I don’t think I have ever played pin the tail on the donkey,” Ashley admitted as memories went back to her birthday parties she had over the years. They always had been over the top extravagant parties with pony rides and bounce castles. When it came to games, pin the tail on the donkey was never an option. However, going on a treasure hunt was one of the fun activities she had done. “And it’s been years since I have gone on a treasure hunt.”
Ashley didn’t hear Ms. Bartlett’s response. She froze as she saw a familiar face. She couldn’t believe he was here – in the same community center as her. What was she was going to do? Would he recognize her? She turned around to make sure he didn’t see her. Ms. Bartlett gave her a questioning look. “Ashley, what’s wrong?” she asked.
“I can’t be here right now,” Ashley replied. Ms. Bartlett was still confused. Ashley didn’t want to explain, but there was no choice. She took a deep breath before she spoke. “The kid I almost ran over is here,” she whispered as she gestured across the room to the couple of young boys who were in a deep conversation.
Ms. Bartlett nodded understandingly. “I see. I’m sure I can find something else for you to do in another room.”
Ashley was grateful she wasn’t willing to push her to stay. As if by magic, a young girl who looked eight or nine came running over to them. Ashley couldn’t remember meeting this girl. Yet, she looked like a mini version of her with her auburn hair and brown eyes. She wasn’t looking happy. “Ms. Bartlett, I don’t like this party. It’s boring.”
Ms. Bartlett’s eyes were twinkling. “Ashley, I would like you to meet Paige. Paige, this is Ashley, one of my students. Maybe Ashley can help you with your homework.” Paige made a face. Ms. Bartlett was firm. “Paige, you were the one who told me you were bored. And I know you haven’t finished it yet. If you do it now, then you won’t have to worry about it when you go home.”
Paige finally complied and she led Ashley to another room, where it was nice and quiet. All the other children had joined the birthday party, so it was just the two of them. Paige put her backpack on one of the tables and unzipped it. Ashley got right to business. “So what do you need to finish?”
Paige continued to show her frustration as she pulled the contents of her backpack. Ashley looked over what she had brought with her. “I have to finish reading chapter three and four of Charlotte’s Web and answer the discussion questions on the worksheet.”
“You don’t like reading or you don’t like the discussion questions,” Ashley asked.
“I don’t like doing the discussion questions,” Paige told her. “Can’t we just read the book?”
Ashley tried not to smile. “Yeah, I know how you feel. I never liked discussion questions either, but it does help you to make sure you do understand the book. Have you done any of the questions yet?” Paige shook her head. “Then finish reading the chapters and then we’ll start with the first question and go from there.” Paige let out a heavy sigh before she began to read chapter three. They worked together to answer the questions and it wasn’t long before they had finished the assignment. “See, that wasn’t so bad. Now what else do you have to work on?”
“I have to work on my social studies homework,” Paige replied. “I hate social studies.”
Ashley wondered if there was anything this girl enjoyed about school. “Really? I love social studies. You get to learn about our history and see how we have evolved from the past. What do you have to do?” she asked. Paige explained the instructions and Ashley was able to help her finish that homework.
As Ashley continued to help her with her studies, Paige began asking her questions about herself. She found out she had a lot in common with the eight-year-old girl. They both had stepparents and Paige was also adjusting to her new stepfamily. They both loved chocolate chip cookies. Paige was attending her former grade school with plans to attend Grant High School after she graduates eighth grade. Ashley was enjoying herself and began to realize Ms. Bartlett was trying to make a point. She could be a great big sister to her sibling.
Paige and Ashley returned to the room just in time for cake and other delicious treats including the chocolate chips cookies Ms. Bartlett and Ashley had baked that morning. Ashley looked around for the young boy who she had seen earlier, but there was no sign of him. Ms. Bartlett told her that he was playing basketball outside on the court with his friends. Ashley didn’t want to admit she was relieved. She didn’t want to run the risk of the kid recognizing her.
By the time the afternoon was over, Paige was very attached to Ashley. She even had to introduce her mother to her new friend. Paige’s mother had wanted to know more about this young woman who bonded with her daughter. The mother didn’t seem to care her last name was Meyer. She was just pleased to see her daughter happy. Paige’s mother noted that Paige never liked coming to the community center after school until today.
Once all the kids were picked up by their parents, Ms. Bartlett, Ashley and the other supervisors began cleaning up. Ms. Bartlett asked the question Ashley was waiting for her to ask. “So how was your afternoon with Paige? You two looked like you were having fun. I know Paige did. That is the first time I have seen that girl smile since she began coming here.”
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Ashley was quiet for a moment as she picked up empty paper plates and cups from one of the tables and threw them in the open trash bag she had in her hands. “I had fun,” she admitted. “But this doesn’t change anything. I know you were trying to prove a point by showing me that I could be a great big sister, but it wasn’t necessary. I know I can. I’m just not ready to be one right now. I’m not sure if I’ll even be ready six months from now.”
“I didn’t ask Paige to come over,” Ms. Bartlett reminded her as she threw some more trash in the trash bag. “I just thought it was the perfect opportunity for you to leave the room since you were so uncomfortable with being in the same room with Caleb Johnson. By the way, he didn’t recognize you. He didn’t even notice you were in the room when he returned with his friends. He just wanted the desserts. I don’t even think his mom saw you.”
Ashley wasn’t sure if that was supposed to make her feel better or not. “If they were looking for me, I’m sure they would yell at me like everyone else.”
“If you’re referring to the argument between your stepmother and Mr. Green at the Homecoming Dance, which had nothing to do with you. Mr. Green was angry at the situation and he took it out on you. None of this is your fault.”
Ashley gave her a look. She was tired of Ms. Bartlett pushing her. “Really? You think you have it all figured out, don’t you?” Her voice became angrier at each word. “Maybe I want to start making my own decisions. Maybe I was tired of having everything decided for me. I didn’t really want to go to therapy, but my dad and Michelle encouraged me to do it. I thought I was okay with moving to Emerald. Brand new start. But I don’t think we moved far enough away for me to escape the rumors about my adventures. And then my aunt was assaulted by one of her patients all because I opened my big fat mouth. How’s that for another reason?”