by Megyn Ward
Simone grabs the dress from Ellie and holds it up against her. “It’s your princess dress just for you. Go put it on.”
Ellie frowns and backs up into my legs. She is fighting to stay nice but is confused. She shakes her head. “I don’t want to.”
Jonas smiles at her like a wolf. “Go on, sweetheart. We want to see how pretty you look in your new dress.”
Ellie presses into me and refuses to take the dress Simone holds. “No. I don’t like it.”
Simone shakes it. “Just—.”
“She said no.” I grab the dress and toss it back in the box. “Thank you but this is too extravagant and you won’t have a problem returning it.”
Jonas frowns at me. “You hang on to it. It’s a present and I’m sure when our little princess has time to think about it, she’ll want it.”
I scoop Ellie into my arms. She hides her face in my neck. It’s all I can do to keep my voice level. “Please, stop calling her a princess. She’s a little girl. And in the future, I’d appreciate it if you check with me before bringing her expensive gifts.”
Simone is seething. Her eyes squint, marring the pricey plastic surgery she had done several years ago. “We’re her grandparents. We have every right to buy her gifts.”
I am not going to argue with her in front of Ellie. I retreat toward our bungalow.
Jonas stops me. “I noticed the painting Mother has on the wall in the sitting room.”
My heart bangs against my chest and I squeeze Ellie. “What painting?”
He steps closer. “The red flowers. It’s very nice.”
I should say thank you but he’s like a snake about to strike. He says, “Mother says you have several available. I think you ought to consider having a show. I can get you into a gallery downtown. With your name and a little promotion, I’m sure we could make a killing.”
I shake my head.
“Leave it to me. We’ll make real bank.”
“I said, no.” With a steady pace I head toward our house.
Jonas doesn’t quit. “You’re leaving a pile of money on the table. We could use it. Mother shouldn’t have to support you and Kylie and Zach. It’s only right you should contribute.”
Simone joins forces. “Don’t be selfish. When you needed it, we helped you out.”
I face her. “When? I don’t recall you helping me out when I was alone and pregnant.”
Simone sniffs as if insulted. “That was your own fault. I tried to keep you from that mistake.”
I feel like spitting nails. “That was no mistake.”
Jonas holds his hand up. “Be that as it may, we did set you up for stardom and we both invested all we had. I believe you have a responsibility to us, since you walked away and let us down.”
Enough of this bullshit. “You took my childhood—I think that makes us more than even.”
Simone snarls at me. “You poor baby.”
I’m trembling and do not want to put Ellie through this fight. “Thank you for thinking of Ellie with the gift. Good night.”
It takes a big effort to act cheerful and as if it’s a normal day so Ellie won’t get upset. Between Erika and Jonas and Simone, I feel like locking the door, drawing the blinds and huddling under my blankets.
But motherhood doesn’t afford the luxury of timeouts.
I give Ellie some mac and cheese and a sliced orange. Bath time, a few books and she’s tucked into her bed fairly early. Her day with Diana at Paradise Found wore her out. With the windows open, I make my way to the piazza.
I haven’t calmed down from the Simone and Jonas shit show. Following on the heels of Erika Elf’s little display, I’m about done with everything and everyone. I can’t even drum up the energy to pace.
I plod to the bench on the backside of the gazebo. It’s tucked under the mango tree and hidden from Gram’s and Kylie's houses. I lay on the soft wood and stare at the stars blinking between the leaves.
What would it be like if Blake loved me? Would we settle Ellie into her bed and Blake read her the Elmo book she loves so much? I can see me standing in the doorway of her bedroom watching as he cuddles her and she drifts to sleep tucked into his arms.
I know it’s a fantasy that will never come true but I don’t stop imagining him disentangling from her and stepping out to take me in his arms.
“Lauren.”
I’m so deep into my dreams of our bliss that I think I actually hear him. “Lauren.”
I sit up. That was no dream. I wait a moment and hear it again. “Lauren.” The soft call, little more than a loud whisper is coming from the other side of the locked gate.
I am drawn to the sound, not sure I believe it. Not sure I know what to make of it. “Blake?”
“Let me in.” His reply floats over the fence.
I unlock the gate, not knowing what to expect. Is this where he’ll tell me how much he hates me for keeping Ellie from him? Will he demand joint custody? Or, god forbid, full custody? Whatever he wants, as always, I can’t stop myself from opening up to him.
I pull back the gate and he’s standing under a dim light. Tall, those soft, wild curls framing his handsome face. He stares at me for a second.
Without warning, he steps close to me and says, “Can you ever forgive me?”
This is not what I expected. “Can I?” My brain is a scramble. “Forgive you for what?”
He looks nervous but he holds me with his steady gaze. “For not being here with you.”
Does this mean he forgives me? That we wants me and Ellie? “Oh, Blake.”
He reaches out and cups my cheek. “I was so wrong to walk away from you.”
There is no way I can speak. The lump in my throat is too large. I can only stare at him and hope this isn’t some kind of dream.
His voice hovers on the sweet night air. “I love you. I’ve always loved you.”
His words shatter every defense. Stones crumble from around my heart and the rush in my ears drowns out even the song of the crickets.
He steps closer and draws me to him. Acting without any will of my own, I couldn’t have stopped this, even if touching him meant instant death. But I don’t want to stop it. I’ve dreamed of this for four years. No, for my whole life.
He smells familiar and I can’t place it. Soap? Aftershave? His own Blake scent, masculine and unique. A smell I hadn’t known I’d missed and now that it’s filling me like a homecoming.
Our lips meet tentatively at first. As if we both aren’t sure it’s real. The touch is electric and shoots straight through me, my ears roar, my heart pounds, blood surges and begins a wild race. We lean closer, arms circling and pulling ourselves so close not even air can circulate between us.
Our kiss deepens and arrows of desire shoot through me, tightening my belly and sending a thrumming lower, where I’m suddenly wet.
I don’t remember him pushing me into the piazza or closing the gate. All I know are his kisses. Soft at first, his smooth lips caressing mine with the surprise and almost awe. I still haven’t spoken. There are no words for what I’m feeling because my whole essence is wrapped up and in and around this man I never thought would hold me the way he’s doing or kiss me with such depth and care.
His arms hold me so tightly I’m nearly breathless and yet I press into him closer and closer. This seems enough for now, our holding each other, our kissing, our pulling together.
And suddenly, it’s not enough. I need him. All of him. And I feel his need for me hardening between us.
“Where can we...” He says, barely taking his lips from mine.
Ellie is sleeping in our bedroom. But Blake and I have never needed a bedroom or a bed. We’ve done this before. I pull away and grab him by the hand, tugging him across the piazza to my bungalow. I don’t turn on the lights as I lead him inside and shut the door.
“Here,” I say, pointing the tile floor.
“Isn’t that a little…hard?”
To be with Blake I’d make love on a bed of nails. But I
grab a blanket from the couch and slip into my room for the comforter from my bed.
Blake follows me in and starts to speak. “Can’t we just….” He stops when he notices the small bed tucked into the corner of the room and Ellie’s soft, baby snores.
He smiles at her and nods at me. He mouths, Oh. With a tug of the comforter, he helps me drag it from the bed and arranges it on the floor while I quietly close my bedroom door.
“I forgot about Ellie,” he whispers.
Forgot? About his daughter? It sits uneasy with me, but then, he hasn’t had her constantly on his mind for four years. And right now, she’s not taking up the biggest part of my brain, either.
With a quick flick, I pull my dress over my head and let it drop on the floor.
That stops all mention of sleeping babies. Blake stares at me. “You’re so beautiful.”
I let him look, feeling his eyes as if they are his fingers, running over my skin. “You can touch, you know. I’m not going to break.”
He swallows and laughs nervously. “I’ve thought of you, of this, every day since I held you last.”
“I’ve been here, thinking the same thoughts about you. Every night.” My voice is low and slow. When he doesn’t make any move, I step closer to him and place my hands on his hips.
Chapter 28
Blake
Lauren slips her hands under the hem of my shirt and flattens her palms on my hips. Just that move almost makes me cum. Her hands. Touching me. I close my eyes to get control. And open them to see her staring at me, an amused smile playing on her lips. Those lips, swollen with our kisses. I can’t help myself and bend down to claim them again. She is mine. I will never let her go.
I feel her hands resting on my skin. They’re warm and exciting when I think of what they’ll do to me. I open my mouth against hers and our tongues find each other. I can’t take my mouth from hers but her hands slowly rise from my hips, up my sides, pushing my shirt up until I’m forced to break off our kiss to shove the shirt over my head and let it fall to the floor.
“Christ.” I hear myself speak but don’t really register it’s my voice. She presses into my arm, skin on skin. Her breasts squeeze into my chest and my hands travel down her spine. I let my fingertips touch each vertebrae. Her skin is soft and smooth and I want to touch all of her at once.
“I can’t believe you’re here,” she whispers into my ear and leaves little kisses along the rim.
My cock jerks and strains against my shorts.
She grinds her hips into me and lets out a moan of pleasure. “I want you in me.” With no warning, she pulls against my arms and takes a half-step back. Her fingers work at the button of my shorts.
I’m so hard I could come. But I can’t. Not here. Not like this. I put my hands over her fumbling fingers. “No.”
She drops her hands and mouth open for a second before is snaps shut and her hands pull away from mine.. “Oh my god. I’m sorry. I thought you wanted me. Wanted this.” She’s on the verge of rage or devastation, I don’t know which but she’s stricken and I need to make her understand.
“No. Yes. I mean, of course I want you. More than I’ve ever wanted anything, anywhere, anytime.”
She tilts her head. “Then what?”
I’m embarrassed and yet, know this is what is right. I need to protect her. “I know we haven’t always been careful before. That was stupid. But this time, we need to use a condom. Do you have any?”
Her face goes through a range of emotions, none of which I can identify. “You thought it was a mistake?”
Why am I such a bumbling idiot that everything I say comes out wrong and hurts her? “No, not being with you. That’s the best thing I’ve done in my whole life. But we were lucky then. I don’t think we need to take chances now.”
She considers that and seems to accept it. “I don’t have anything.”
Maybe everyone else she’s been with has taken care of this. “Guess you don’t bring men here, with your Gram around?”
She gives me a slight smile. “There’s been no one else.”
A lead ball falls to my stomach. This seems crazy and I think maybe I haven’t understood her. “You haven’t had a boyfriend since us?”
She looks embarrassed. “No one.”
I try to make light of it but a load of guilt drops on me. “I’m not that good.”
She takes that but acts as if the reason she’s been single all this time is obvious. “I’ve been a little tied up.”
I want to ask with what, but she behaves as if I ought to know. Before I can figure out how to get it out of her without asking outright, she gets excited.
“Kylie and Zach! They might have some.” She runs for the door, wearing nothing. “I’ll be right back.”
I wave my hand at her to indicate her lack of clothing. “But….”
She brushes my hand away. “Gram’s in bed, Kylie and Zach are gone. It’s dark and private out there.”
She flings open the door and says over her shoulder, “I expect you to be in the same condition when I return.”
I don’t need to be asked twice. When she bursts back in, I’ve shed my shorts and have arranged the blankets on the floor in the most comfortable way possible.
She drops down next to me and tosses a half dozen condom packets on the floor beside us. “Where were we?” She plants a quick kiss on my lips.
I laugh at her enthusiasm. “Are you planning a long night?”
She sits up and puts a hand on my chest to make me lie back. “I don’t want to be interrupted again.”
With that, she kneels over me and kisses my neck. With a swirl of her tongue she teases the spot at the base of my neck. I remember the feel of her kisses and her fingernails as they lightly rake my skin and tease the light dusting of hair that runs from my navel straight to my cock. The sensation of her touching me mixes with the memories and I’m so hard I can’t stand it.
“Save this for later.” I sit up and grab her by the shoulders. “I need to fuck you now.”
She sucks in a breath. “Oh, thank god. I can’t wait.”
She grabs one of the packets and rips it open with her teeth. When I hold out my hand to take it from her she whisks it out of my reach. She grins at me. “You don’t get all the fun.”
I have no reason to not believe her that she hasn’t slept with anyone since I left, but, holy mother, this girl has some skills. She unfurls the condom over me with deliberate slowness, and I have to grit my teeth to keep from letting go before I can even fuck her. The whole time she’s teasing me, she keeps eye contact, loving the way I’m fighting her touch.
She lays down and spreads her legs and reaches for me. I stretch out on top of her, feeling her warm skin, her firm body underneath me. “Now. Please.” She plants her hands on my ass and pulls me into her.
I enter the warm folds of her pussy so quickly it’s like she’s sucked me in. She arches and heaves words out. “Fuck me.” She whispers in my ear, back arched up as her fingers dig into my shoulders, trying to pull me closer. Her legs wrap around my hips and she tips her head back, opening her whole body to me, inviting me in.
Her pussy is hot and wet and I only push into her a few times before her neck muscles strain and tighten and then I feel her core grab my cock.
I don’t try to soften my thrusts but pound into her, giving her everything she’s asked for.
Her teeth are clenched and the sounds coming from her seem to have an attempt at silence. We used to try to keep the director of Liesa’s Life or Simone from finding us. I guess now, it’s Ellie she’s trying to keep ignorant.
I collapse on top of her and for a few seconds, we pant and the island humidity works on us, creating a sheen of salty sweat to run over our skin and drip down on the blanket. I roll off of her and start to pry off the condom, but she brushes my hand away.
“Let’s see if we can finish what I started a few minutes ago.” I haven’t quite gone soft but she has no problem taking the full rubber fro
m the tip of my cock.
Lauren deposits the condom on the wrapper, as if that will keep it from leaking on the floor, then gets on her knees. “Let’s see if we can bring this guy back to life. It’s been four years, I intend to use it all up.”
Chapter 29
Lauren
I wake to a dull but happy throb between my legs, a foot that’s gone to sleep from being pinned underneath something, an ache in my hip from sleeping on a hard tile floor, and the biggest glow in my heart. I snuggle closer to the man sleeping beside me and that movement causes his eyes to blink open.
It takes him a moment but then his arm tightens around me and pulls me close. He bends down to kiss me and I reluctantly keep my lips closed. I don’t want him to experience my morning breath and run screaming.
He grabs me around my hips and hefts me to lay on top of him and I feel his morning hard on getting even woodier. “Are there any of those condoms left?”
I smile at him. “Not even one.”
His face falls. “Tell me where they keep them and I’ll go get more.”
Blake isn’t used to having a little one around. I push off of him and slowly drag myself to stand, admiring the view of his full frontal gorgeousness. “I’d love nothing more than to spend the day in bed with you. But Ellie’s going to pop out here for her cereal any minute and she’ll need a little time to get used to you before I spring you two on each other full time.”
He seems to be confused by that but smiles. “Guess you and Kylie are pretty close.”
I laugh. “Yeah, this is going to freak her out, too.”
He looks concerned.
“In a good way,” I add quickly. “She’s been riding me to tell you about it for four years.”
He stands and pulls me close, our naked bodies creating immediate heat between us. I wonder if I can get Kylie and Zach to babysit on their first night home.
He kisses me. “It isn’t your fault. I was stubborn when I left here. Now I know there’s nothing that could keep me from you again.”