Her Cravings Mastered [Dark Desires 2] (Siren Publishing Sensations)

by Suzy Shearer

  He had broken through her barriers with silence and kindness.

  She lay quiescent in his arms, completely worn out from crying. He released her and stood, then picked her up as if she were a child.

  “Which way is your bedroom? Upstairs?”

  She could only nod listlessly.

  He carried her upstairs and gently laid her on the bed. He went into her bathroom and came out with a cloth. Slowly, he wiped her face, gently taking the tracks of her tears away. When he finished, he took the cloth back inside, then came back to her. He removed his shoes then climbed onto the bed alongside her, taking her into his arms once again.

  She was so exhausted that she couldn’t resist. She let him hold her as she fell into a welcoming sleep.

  * * * *

  Jessica yawned and opened her eyes. Startled, she realised she was loosely held by a sleeping Aiden. Everything came flooding back. She glanced at the clock and saw it was almost seven-thirty in the morning. She needed to use the bathroom. Carefully she removed Aiden’s arm from across her body and slid across the bed. Standing carefully so as not to wake Aiden, she went into the bathroom.

  After using the toilet, she looked at herself in the mirror. Her eyes were red and swollen from all the crying she’d done. Her hair was a mess, so she pulled it from the ponytail and gave it a quick brush, then twisted it on top of her head holding it in place with a butterfly clip. She stood in the bathroom for a while. What was she going to do now?

  Returning to the bedroom, she thought to creep downstairs, but what to do then?

  “Good morning, little one.”

  She gave a startled scream and looked over at Aiden. He was still lying down but those green eyes were watching her intently. He held out his hand.

  She stood there.

  “Please.”

  She took a step toward the bed, then another. He smiled at her as she took a third and reached the bed. Gingerly, she sat on the edge. He rolled across and pulled her down and into his arms once more.

  “We still have a lot to talk about.”

  “I can’t. I don’t want to.”

  “Yes, you can. Surely the worst is over now.”

  She looked at him in surprise.

  “Jessie, I know something terrible happened to you. I don’t know what, but I heard the grief when you cried. I think whatever happened, you’ve been carrying the pain around for a long time. You’ve released some of it, now’s the time to get it all out.”

  “You don’t understand.”

  “Then tell me, make me understand.”

  “I don’t know how.”

  Her voice sounded like a little girl’s, full of pain and unhappiness.

  “Shall I help? Tell me his name.”

  She gasped.

  “What was his name?”

  “Dennis,” she whispered.

  “He was a Dom?”

  She could only nod against his chest.

  “How long were you together?”

  She shook her head.

  “Please, Jessie.” He pleaded with her.

  “Six… six years.”

  “And he hurt you.”

  It was a statement and not a question. She nodded, trying to hold back more tears.

  “Was it an accident?”

  She kept her head buried.

  “Look at me Jessie.”

  He waited patiently until she finally lifted her face from where she’d buried it on his chest.

  “Was it intentional?”

  She gave a little nod. He groaned.

  “The one thing I would never do is abuse your trust of me. I want to protect you, to learn to love you. To learn all there is to know about you. I promise, I will never hurt you intentionally.”

  She could only shake her head. She hated those meaningless words.

  He gave another groan.

  “I don’t know how I can prove it to you. Oh, Jessie.” His voice broke and Jessica looked at him in surprise. “Jessie, please give me a chance, give us a chance.” His voice was thick with emotion. “You must feel what’s between us. Don’t ignore it.”

  She didn’t know what to say.

  “If you want a contract between us, I’ll gladly give you one. Yes, I’m a Dominant, yes, I want things my way, but you must know that a Dom stands beside his sub. He protects her, loves her, guides her. He’s a friend to her. There must be honour, integrity, truth between us, knowledge of each other, and love. I want a woman who is my equal in everything.”

  She looked at him with wonder. Dennis had never spoken to her like that, even at the beginning. He’d never offered her a contract, never treated her as an equal. He told her a sub always did what a Dom wanted.

  “Jessica, don’t you understand? I need you as much as you need me. A Dom lives only to give his sub happiness. Whatever you need from me, I’ll gladly give you. When you’re happy, I am happy.”

  “But I don’t understand,” she cried out. “You’re a Dom, I’m nothing. You have all the control. You!”

  He laughed so loud she jumped.

  “Who on earth told you that? Every Dom worth his salt will tell you the truth—all the control lies with his sub. You and he must have discussed how things would work between you. Discussed hard and soft limits. He would have made sure you had your safe word, and you would use it if things got out of control. That’s where the controls lie and a Dom respects them.”

  Discussions? Limits? Safe word?

  Ha, that was joke!

  The only discussions they’d ever had were one-sided with him telling her what he intended to do to her. How much pain he intended to inflict and what instrument he was going to use on her.

  She hadn’t known anything about safe words and even if she had and dared to use a safe word, Dennis would have only hurt her more and then punish her somehow. It was only years later when she read something and saw the term, that she found out what it was.

  As for limits! There were no limits as far as he was concerned. She remembered early in their relationship when she’d screamed at him to stop, he beat her mercilessly for daring to speak against something her Dom did to her.

  He told her that a good sub took every punishment with joy. That she accepted everything her Dom wanted to do to her and never complained.

  “Oh, my dearest Jessie. Please, please, don’t tell me he ignored your safe word?”

  Guiltily, she nodded. How could she tell him she had none? Her tears threatened again. She thought Aiden would be disgusted with her now.

  “My poor baby. Come here.”

  Those big safe arms enfolded her again.

  “Surely you had hard limits?” He whispered.

  She shook her head. His embraced got tighter and she could feel anger. She began to shake and he loosened his grip on her.

  “I’m sorry, Jessie. I’m not angry at you, I’m angry at that poor excuse for a Dom who damaged you so badly. You deserve to have the world placed at your feet.”

  The threatened tears began to drip down onto his chest.

  “Let them out, my Jessie. Let it all out.”

  Once more, he held her as she cried. Once more, when she stopped, she marvelled at his patience, his strength, his honour. Maybe she was wrong. Maybe she’d misjudged him, assumed all Doms where like Dennis.

  “Tell me the rest of it, Jess, tell me everything.”

  She looked up and searched his face. Looking deep within his eyes. All she could see was honesty. It caught her breath and she gasped softly.

  “Please, Jess, tell me.”

  Haltingly she began. Slowly she told him, told him of the years of abuse she’d suffered at his hands. Whenever she glanced at his face, she saw rage and anger but it wasn’t directed at her. It took her several hours to get it all out.

  When she’d finished, she was so emotionally drained, so lost that she dropped her head to his chest. No more tears were left to fall. She felt his hands on her back, her arms, rubbing, caressing as she lay there, all spirit and figh
t gone. At last it was all out. Jessica felt raw, drained but she felt freed once and for all. Finally she’d faced it all.

  Time passed.

  She felt him move but didn’t care. He stood up and went into the bathroom. She heard running water. He came back and gathered her in his arms. With infinite tenderness, he took her clothes off and then carried her into the bathroom. Like precious china, he put her into the bathtub. Quickly, he removed his own clothes and got into the tub behind her. He washed her body.

  Jessica slowly began to feel again.

  It was as if he was washing the past away. His tender hands cleansing her.

  She felt his lips on her back, as they kissed every scar that the corset had gouged out of her body. Every single burn mark that littered her back and shoulders. Every slash of the knife. Every raised welt scar. She closed her eyes. Her body was becoming alive, awakening to his touch. She felt his mouth on her ear, feathery kisses igniting her passion.

  She closed her eyes and tilted her head in invitation.

  His lips traced the muscle that ran the length of her neck.

  Her lips parted.

  A hand ran up and down one arm, brushing along her breast.

  Up and down it ran, up and down his lips kissed.

  She was breathing heavily through her nose, then she exhaled through her mouth.

  His fingers caressed her breast. She felt them rub against her nipple. His other hand rose from under the water, it began to rub the other breast and massage the tender flesh. She leant back against his chest. Somehow, she knew if she asked him to stop, he would. But stopping was the one thing she knew she didn’t want.

  His mouth was on her ear as he dropped one hand lower and lower.

  Of their own accord, her legs parted.

  His fingers found her clit and rubbed against it. She moaned softly.

  The fingers explored.

  She felt one slide inside her, hooking to rub against her G-spot.

  He whispered. “Try not to climax.”

  She heard him through a haze of arousal.

  The finger was rubbing, tapping, caressing. She tensed.

  “No, try. Please.”

  She bit her lips and her nostrils flared as she tried to hold back her orgasm.

  His mouth continued to explore her neck while one hand tweaked and pulled her nipple.

  The other was driving her so close to the edge. She whimpered.

  “Just a little longer,” he murmured, his lips caressing her ear as he spoke.

  Could she do it? Could she hang on?

  The finger continued its playful assault, and another joined it. She tightened her muscles, trying hard to submit to his demand. His thumb was rubbing against her clit. The two fingers inside her were taking her higher and higher. Surely he knew she couldn’t control it any longer?

  She felt his mouth on her ear again.

  “Now.”

  At that single word, she screamed as her body reacted to his fingers working their magic. She shook as her orgasm rolled across her. Jessie was sure she’d felt it from her toes right up to her head.

  “Good girl.”

  She basked in the glow of his words.

  A few minutes later he stood and then lifted her out, wrapping her in a towel before throwing one around himself. She glanced down and saw the tentlike bulge from his erect penis. He dried her off, pulled the clip from her hair, then carried her back into the bedroom. He settled her on the bed and pulled the covers around her.

  Sitting on the edge of the bed, he took her hand.

  “You need to sleep.”

  She looked at him, he looked as tired as she felt. They had both been through an emotional night with only a couple of hours sleep. She knew she was exhausted, so he must be the same.

  “Jess, it’s important that we speak. We’ve made a start, but we have to finish this.”

  “I…”

  “Hush. If I may, I’m going to go back to my house, I’ll be gone a couple of hours. I need to get out of this suit. We have to talk through everything. You sleep. If you don’t, I’ll know. So when I get back, you’d better still be asleep.”

  “But—”

  “No buts. I noticed your keys on the table near the front door. May I borrow them?”

  Jessica felt overwhelmed.

  “Jess, you know we need to talk still. We both have to talk about us. It’s up to you, but I want you. Tell me. If you honestly want me to leave, then I will. I promise I will leave this minute if that’s what you really desire.”

  He looked away then back down into her face.

  “I want you so badly, Jess. You’re all I’ve thought about since I first saw you. I don’t care if it takes forever, I want to learn everything about you, I want to learn to love you and have you love me in return. I want us. I want a relationship with you forever. Please give us a chance.”

  She searched his eyes, there was fear in them, fear she would refuse him, fear she would send him away. It surprised her. She realised if she said “go,” he would honour her request.

  “Please, Jess.” His voice broke a little. He whispered hesitantly. “Don’t send me away.”

  He waited. Waited as she thought. She knew she wanted him sexually as much as he wanted her, but the knowledge he wanted more, that he wanted to learn to love her, wanted a relationship, scared her. She’d locked her heart away, determined to never let any man get close to her again.

  She’d felt it stirring when he walked toward her that first day.

  That morning, when he’d broken her wall of pain without speaking, her heart had begun to beat for him. It frightened her. Could she take such a risk?

  What was it her father had said? She needed to stop hiding and start living.

  Looking at Aiden, she realised that at this moment she really did hold all the control. Instinctively, she knew if she said “no” he would leave her as he said and never come back. In an instant, she saw his honour, his integrity. She knew if she said “yes” there would be hurdles—large ones—they’d have to overcome as she faced her Dom-sub fears, but there was a patience in Aiden that gave her hope.

  He hadn’t spoken again but she could see the fear in his eyes that she would send him away. His eyes pleaded with her.

  She gave a little nod.

  He smiled.

  No, that was wrong. His face came alive with joy. He leant forward. She looked up at him through her eyelashes. His face got closer and closer until his lips met hers. Tenderly at first, they caressed hers, then they became more forceful, more demanding. She mewled in the back of her throat as his kiss took her way past anything she had ever felt.

  He broke off the kiss, and she felt disappointed. It must have shown on her face and he grinned at her.

  “Sleep. I’ll be back soon. When you wake, I’ll be here.”

  Quietly, she said, “Okay.”.

  He gave a little shake of his head and stood. She watched as he went into the bathroom then returned a few minutes later dressed. He leant over the bed and chastely kissed her forehead.

  “Now go to sleep.”

  He picked up his shoes and walked to the door. He turned back.

  “I promise you won’t be sorry, Jessie. I’ll do everything in my power to make you happy.”

  Then she heard him go down the stairs. A minute or so later, she heard the front door open and close. She lay there for a few minutes. Everything that had happened threatened to overwhelm her. She didn’t want to cry anymore, so maybe she would just sleep. There was no denying how exhausted she felt. She wriggled down in the bed and closed her eyes.

  A moment later, she was asleep.

  Chapter Ten

  When Aiden had seen Jessica when she opened the door, he was stunned at the absolute fear written, not only on her face, but in the way she held herself. It shook him that she would be so terrified of him.

  Could he get past her fear?

  He was worried he couldn’t.

  He’d touched her and she
leant into his hand, then jumped back as it his touch had burnt her. He’d led her to a couch, barely taking in the beauty of her home. He forced her to sit beside him and told her he was going to stay until she finally opened up to him and told him why he frightened her.

  It may be a long night.

  Her fear was visible, he could taste it. He couldn’t understand it. Yes, he’d been rather obvious of his desire for her but he didn’t think anything he’d done warranted such terror. They sat there. Then he’d repeated to her that he wouldn’t hurt her. She’d looked terrified, just like earlier today when she’d torn her hand from his and raced from his office. It was at those words!

  Her reaction was revealing.

  At last he knew, or at least he thought he did. Someone had hurt her, and hurt her so badly that she seemed almost afraid for her life. Someone who had told her he wouldn’t hurt her.

  He’d held her forcibly then. He knew it would bring forward the experiences she’d had, holding her and forcing her to stay within his arms. It was hard to do, hard to do something that terrified her but he thought it was the only way to break through her walls.

  In his mind, he’d decided he wouldn’t leave until she finally told him the truth. He’d wait for days if he had to. He refused to let her go. He would sit here quietly and wait.

  And wait he did.

  He didn’t bother to question her, it was useless. When she was ready, she’d talk. Her could feel the panic within her, the fear.

  Hour after hour went by, the silence only broken whenever she tried to pull away and he would hear her pants. He’d glanced at his watch—it was ten minutes to four. He grinned to himself. It was certainly a long night. He wondered how long it would take to make her face whatever it was.

  She tensed and pulled again. He held her firm.

  He couldn’t resist. He ran his finger down her face. Her skin was so soft, so smooth.

  He was startled when she began to shake. He pulled her even closer to his heart as she finally began to cry.. It almost broke his heart to hear her pain. He quietly asked her what happened.