Scorched

by Michael Soll

  I looked down at the scrawny girl. “All you’ve ever done is lie down and stare at dirt.”

  “All you’ve ever done is whack dirt to get to more dirt.”

  “If it weren’t for my whacking, you would’ve starved a long time ago.”

  “You’re only a little older than me. Don’t act like you’re an elder or something.”

  Cotta reappeared with a large grin. “Who’s ready for an epic adventure? I can be the journey guide. On our right, we have some dirt -- on the left we have some more dirt…beneath us, you guessed it, even more dirt.”

  Kaolin laughed. I hated her laugh. I hated her for spoiling my dream. I paused for a moment and ran every scenario in my head, but there was nothing I could do. The only way the journey could proceed was with her. But I wouldn’t give her the satisfaction. No. I wouldn’t tell her she was part of our adventure. I would just ignore her. That would be her punishment.

  I looked over at Cotta, “Let’s go.”

  ***

  The Old Hive was magnificent. It was much larger than our newer one, with multiple winding paths leading to numerous large cubbies. We tried to light the Old Central Tank but the methane had run dry long ago.

  Our old home was much different than I had imagined as imaginations tend to stray from the concrete. Some time after my father overheard my dreams, he had gathered a few of the elders to tell stories of the past hive. They explained the old paths in detail and described the oldest of the old that led to some unknown locale only our ancestors had seen. It was a present my father gave to me, his way of pushing me toward my future as I headed through his past.

  “This way,” I said to Cotta while ignoring Kaolin.

  She didn’t bring much. No lantern because she was never issued one, no ax because she never needed one, and no food because it was always brought to her lap.

  We passed through the Old Hive and made our way to the tunnels near the back. After the Great Quake, many of the tunnels were demolished but the ancient ones survived. Our parents had fixed our old home the best they could but they knew it would be a more difficult task reinforcing the large hive with clay so they built the new one, a sturdier and safer place for future generations to thrive.

  Cotta and I walked at a brisk pace while Kaolin was forced to run to catch up. “What if the ancient tunnels dead end?” she asked while kicking the dirt beneath her foot.

  I ignored her because she didn’t exist.

  “They’ll find you two and then we’ll all be punished.”

  Cotta gave me a pleading look, asking me with his eyes whether or not he could acknowledge her existence.

  “They’ll cut your rations in half for a cycle. That’s for sure. Who knows what else they’ll do…”

  Cotta chirped in and ignored my glare, “The ancient tunnels are the sturdiest of them all. And they go on forever.”

  “Where do they lead to?”

  “I don’t know. Where does forever go?” Cotta asked nonchalantly but soon got caught up in his own question. He looked over at me, waiting for my answer. Kaolin also looked my way, questioning me with her big, stupid eyes.

  I finally gave in. “It doesn’t go on forever. It’ll lead us up and into a mineshaft.”

  Kaolin grabbed some chum from my stash and took a bite. “And then where’re we going? To the surface?”

  Cotta laughed. “We’re not going to the surface. We’d die if we go up there.”

  Kaolin gazed at me, waiting for my response.

  “That’s a stupid thing for you to say. We can’t go to the surface. If you’re tagging along, you can’t say dumb stuff like that.”

  She squinted her eyes at me and then simply said, “Okay.”

  We finally reached the edge of the Central Hive and found the paths leading away. “They don’t look so ancient,” Kaolin said, examining the ridges of the tunnel.

  Cotta examined the handiwork as well. “These aren’t the ancient tunnels. We still have a ways to go.”

  Kaolin and Cotta smiled at each other as they discovered the past all around them. They were wasting time. They shouldn’t be running their fingers through dirt or smiling at each other.

  “C’mon. Let’s go.”

  I pushed ahead of the others and suppressed every urge to explore the tunnel built by my ancestors. But it was fantastic. The tunnels they created years and years ago still stood strong, even through the Great Quake.

  As we came to the first divide, I thought back on that day my father had assembled the elders. “Down the Pristine Path and you make a sharp right into Mudd’s Entrance,” reminisced Dover.

  “This way,” I told the others.

  We scurried through the next opening until we reached another path. “Then you’ve gotta go up, up through Toureanne’s Tunnel. It gets real narrow toward the end, but if you squeeze on through, it’s smooth tunneling from there,” Pebble had enthusiastically added. I remember my father giving me a wink after the elder had reminisced.

  “Up here,” I ordered.

  We moved through the narrowing tunnel, squeezing on through to the other side. And then I recalled my father’s words as he recalled his father’s words, “He saw the Ancient Tunnel once. Make a slight left when you see a large gap. A few steps in and you’ll see the largest path you’ve ever seen, constructed hundreds of cycles ago. That’s the original tunnel.”

  “Over here.”

  We found the gap and we made a slight left. And then, we saw the Ancient Tunnel. It was beautiful but ominous. It seemed like any moment it could crumble. How it lasted this long is a mystery nobody could answer.

  Cotta gazed at the tunnel. “How did it last this long?”

  Kaolin grabbed some more chum from my bucket. “C’mon boys. Let’s see how long forever goes.” She walked ahead, leaving us behind. Now it was us catching up to her.

  We walked for what seemed like an eternity. We decided to stop momentarily while Cotta filled up his lantern. Kaolin walked ahead, navigating the tunnel with the faint light radiating from my lantern, heading into the darkness.

  I hurried ahead to her, not because I wanted to be with her but because she had no light and if she got injured she’d slow us down even more.

  When I caught up, I found her staring dumbfounded at a strange structure jammed into the wall. “What is it?”

  I placed my hand against the brown device. It didn’t feel like anything I had ever felt, but it was rotting like food that had turned.

  I rubbed my fingers across the material when a piece lodged in my hand. I recoiled and screeched.

  Kaolin examined my flesh. “Hold still.” She placed her fingers against the brown sliver stuck in my hand and pulled it out.

  “Wow, that’s amazing!” exclaimed Cotta, lantern burning brightly in hand. “That stuff is holding the tunnel up. Maybe we should take some with us for later.”

  “We can’t. It’s holding the ceiling up --”

  And then, noise echoed through the Ancient Tunnel. Cotta and I froze for a moment, asking for guidance from each other’s frozen lips.

  “How did they find us so quickly?”

  I shook my head, “We should’ve covered our tracks.”

  The noise got louder and louder as our colony closed in on us, ready to imprison us once more, and then --

  The butt of my ax struck the brown structure. Again and again until the foreign material collapsed beside my foot. The ceiling rumbled as dirt dribbled from above, an infinite amount of soil croaking.

  I looked over at the ax, at the fingers grasping onto my beloved possession. Kaolin handed me back my tool and simply said, “Thanks.”

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  Collapse:

  I stood in shock for a moment, dumbfounded that the seemingly innocuous girl standing before me was responsible for our imminent doom.

  “I think we should go,” said a startled Cotta as dirt dribbled from above and onto his hair. “Scratch that. We should definitely go!”

  Cotta turned an
d ran, but I was still frozen, staring up at the falling dirt, listening to the distant echoes, possibly from my father or Dover, their words and pleas kept alive by the barrier crumbling before me.

  Kaolin’s hand clenched my wrist and I felt my world crumble. I felt the grains of dirt freeze in midair, I saw the echoes ricochet through the tunnel, and I felt her heart pump blood into my veins.

  Her eyes shined and our rhythms pulsated. Her mouth opened and she screamed something, but I couldn’t hear. I had lost control of all other senses, all I could feel was the touch and then, everything came flooding back --

  “What are you doing?! Run!” Kaolin pulled me away from the imminent collapse, as tons of dirt plummeted to the ground.

  And then, the Earth was quiet. The three of us shared a relieved look.

  Cotta examined the damage and the tiny collapse. “Well that wasn’t that bad…”

  I felt it on my face first. A tiny grain from above. We looked up and all around, and we knew we could do only one thing…

  “RUN!”

  Our feet pounded against the ground as the tunnel collapsed all around. Yet, even though my fire was moments from being extinguished, I couldn’t stop focusing on the spark galloping in front of me. Those graceful feet and lean legs. She looked back at me and screamed something with her beautiful mouth and big, kind eyes.

  We were moments from dying, but I hardly noticed the tidal wave of Earth caving in all around. I didn’t notice the tiny specs being displaced behind me, I was only focused on the displaced Spec within.

  And finally, after what seemed to be an eternity of running, the dirt subsided and we collapsed, breathing heavier than we ever have.

  Reality quickly struck as I looked behind and realized any thoughts of returning to my home had collapsed along with the tunnel.

  Cotta picked up a chunk of rock and put it in his basket. “The tunnel survived hundreds of cycles but couldn’t withstand the Kaolin.”

  I stood up and walked over to the fallen rocks. I laid my hand on the dirt and watched as the grains I touched trickled to the ground below and stopped, waiting for the next Kaolin to displace them once more.

  I closed my eyes and thought about my home, a home I had always thought I’d visit some time in the distant future, a father I’d share all my adventures with, now just a memory, a story.

  Truth be told, I had never really let go. I had whispered goodbye but never shouted it. I was leaving a trail of rocks, just waiting to pick them back up, but now the rocks were gone and I was lost.

  I turned back to my two companions, my new world and my new home. I didn’t say a word because no words needed to be spoken. I simply walked ahead of them, lantern firmly in hand and we continued down the Ancient Tunnel towards forever, towards an empty abyss filled with dust and hopes whose echoes were silenced long ago. And as our lanterns lit up the ten feet in front of us, we could only wonder and fantasize on what lay in the darkness, shrouded in silence. We could see each step, see each other, but we could not see behind and we could not see ahead. Our world consisted of the ten foot radius of light. What we saw was real and what we couldn’t see was fantasy.

  We walked for a long time and when we got tired, we continued walking. We kept walking until we couldn’t walk anymore and when that happened, we sat and waited until we could walk again. It was all we had to do, it was our only mission. We were not mining for clay or hunting for fungi. The tunnel was dead and our only goal was to get out alive.

  Kaolin and Cotta talked about nothing as I gazed at the black. It was the same darkness our ancestors had once gazed at. I wonder if Janathon Weshington ever imagined or fantasized about me. I wonder if he thought one day I would journey back to the mine shaft that acted as a safe haven for him so many cycles ago. I wonder if I will have descendents like myself, if I will have a future Spec who will travel back to his ancestor’s hive, to the path his forefather once journeyed on.

  Our feet were rested and up we were, moving forward and shifting our world. Kaolin took some more chum and stepped in the lead. She was a couple feet in front of me but instead of staring at the darkness ahead, I was staring at her behind. I watched it rhythmically move up and down, hypnotizing me and placating my fears.

  I regained control of my mind and looked over at Cotta. He too was staring at her backside. He regained his composure and hurried forward. I stared at his backside as he walked beside her but for some reason, his rear was not nearly as exciting as hers.

  Our bodies were worn out so we decided to rest. Cotta piled up some dirt to form a pillow while Kaolin used his chest as a mound of dirt. I could’ve slept in the pile with them. Perhaps it would’ve been more comfortable having life so close to me, reminding me I too was alive, but instead I chose to lay by myself. I placed my equipment to the side and built a little bed. It wasn’t that bad, but it paled in comparison to the one back in the hive.

  I lay on my back and stared up at the wall several feet above. At one point, an ax scraped against its surface, irreparably shaping and destroying and fixing and creating. My blood had carved these walls. Did they know how important their actions were, how meaningful their decisions were?

  My eyes close and I dream of sunlight. I dream of freedom and air. I dream of an up, a world without tunnels. I dream of a breath, so clean and sweet. I dream of a purpose, a reason for being and for dying. I dream of the Original Hive. Before the world became my world, when there were hundreds of hundreds of hundreds of hundreds of people like me and Cotta and Kaolin.

  If there’s one truth I’ve learned during my time in this planet, it’s that in the midst of destruction, life will prevail. When the sun charred the surface and destroyed the exterior of our world, it meant the creation of my father and myself. And when one of our friends’ lights go out, their life gives us life. And if all of those people in the past had not died, then I would not have lived.

  My thoughts escape me, and I find myself sitting atop a giant insect as it sprints across blackened dirt toward the giant ball of burning fire. I feel a warmth I’ve never felt, I reach a speed I’ve never traveled, but then, the insect trips and we crash into the ground. The insect takes its last breath. I place my hand on its rough skin and feel its damp blood on my hand. The blood is warm and feels as real as anything I’ve felt.

  My eyes fluttered and I regained consciousness, but the dream persisted. I examined my hand to find it stained red. I looked at Cotta, blood smeared across his abdomen.

  I hurried over to my friend, shaking him, wondering if his eyes would open and then, they finally did.

  “What’re you doing?” he grumbled.

  “I thought you were dead.”

  “You’re the one who sleeps like he’s dead.”

  I pointed to his stomach. He felt around, searching for a wound. “I think I’m okay. Where’s Kaolin?”

  I had forgotten about her. I searched all around but couldn’t see her. I picked up my lantern and only had to run a few feet before I spotted a desolate Kaolin staring into the darkness.

  “Are you okay!? Are you hurt?”

  Kaolin turned, and I understood what had happened. Dribbling down her leg was a thin trail of blood.

  She smiled, tears in her eyes, “I’m a woman.”

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  Torrent:

  Kaolin had evolved into a woman while Cotta and I remained boys. We had only heard of women bleeding but never seen it with our own eyes. A woman usually bleeds only once in her life and then she gives birth and either dies, or she lives and gives birth again.

  The first thing we did was collect all of the blood and divvy it up between the three of us. It was bitter as blood often tends to be, but the extra nutrition would help us on our long journey.

  Kaolin’s mood quickly changed. She walked in the back and kept mostly to herself. When we tried to include her in the conversation, she just ignored us. Her mind was off in some faraway land and neither Cotta nor I were allowed in. We continued forward, pushin
g the world behind us as we walked into the unknown.

  Our feet had never been so sore. Blisters formed all over our toes and then quickly turned to calluses. In addition to our bodies deteriorating, I could see Cotta struggling with the mental aspect of our journey through the Ancient Tunnel. It wasn’t the fact that we were walking into a void, it was that the tunnel was so high. Whenever we worked in the tunnels, we were forced to hunch, as we snugly moved toward our working position, but the Ancient Tunnel was so massive that he was beginning to feel uneasy. He would often spend most of his walking looking up at the faraway ceiling, worried some unseen creatures were about to strike. How could he have survived in the olden days with no ceiling at all?

  “What if it never ends?” Cotta asked, chewing on a piece of food.

  “Everything ends,” I told him. “Beginnings can’t exist without an ending and we saw where the tunnel began.”

  And then Cotta said something that caught me off guard. “It was the beginning of the tunnel for us but the ending for them.”

  He was right, but how could a beginning also be its end? If a man grabbed his toes, there would be no beginning or end to his body, he would just be. But if his feet were his beginning and end, what were his hands when raised above his head? If a man and woman come together and have a baby, that baby grows into a man or woman and has a baby of its own but which is the beginning, the baby or the man/woman? And then, a baby is born and that is his beginning. He grows and dies and that is his ending. But then after he dies, we consume him and he begins again within us until we die and therefore he dies. But then we’re eaten and we start new within those who eat us. Maybe there isn’t an ending until nobody is around to consume the dead. Maybe the tunnel doesn’t end until we die and nobody is around to question if it has an end.

  Kaolin quickly stopped --

  “You hear that?”

  She put her ear against the wall. We followed. “What do you hear?” Cotta whispered.

  She shook her head and put her ear to the ground. Cotta and I gave each other a look, then did the same.