In Too Deep

by Mary Connealy

  He swallowed hard. He didn’t want anyone to depend on him. At the same time, he knew she’d been depending on him for years. Just as he’d been depending on her. He nodded, afraid to speak the words she no doubt wanted to hear.

  “So . . .” He cleared his throat. “You have a plan, then?”

  She looked disappointed. Worse, she looked like maybe she felt a little sorry for him that he couldn’t admit any feelings for her.

  That annoyed him. He’d asked her to come along, hadn’t he? True, it had been at least partly because he hoped she had some money. His wouldn’t take him far.

  “Yes, I’ve got a plan. I’ve got plenty of cash money that no one knows about, because I’ve been rat-holing it for years. And I know the name of a man, an honest man with a livery who sells horses. He doesn’t know I know him. I just did some quiet checking. We’ll buy two horses and ride out.”

  “We’ll need a change of clothes.” He looked at his silk shirt and broadcloth pants. They marked him as wealthy. They drew the eye just as he wanted. But now he didn’t want anyone to look twice, and Trixie’s flashy red dress was even more noticeable.

  “I’ve got enough money to take care of all that.”

  “I need to go to my bank and get the cash I’ve got on hand.” It wasn’t much.

  “No, we walk away now. We get my money because we can pick it up without anyone knowing. We buy a change of clothes and two horses, then we leave town. No stopping at any bank or anyplace we might see someone who knows either of us. Once you leave, the wolves will dive on the remains of your business. You can’t come back and reclaim it without starting from the ground up.”

  Jasper nodded. “We can go west. I can set up business, buy a saloon and—”

  “No! If you run from the Hardesey clan, you need to change your life.”

  Gardens and chickens didn’t appeal to him.

  “Think, Jasper.”

  He didn’t mention that he’d hate being a farmer. Other than that, he liked her plan. Especially liked her cash on hand. It was going to much improve his chance to survive until he got his money back from Gill.

  “If you do this right, live honest, they’ll never find you. Never. The West swallows up men every day.”

  The scratch of a footstep brought Jasper’s head around.

  “Someone’s there,” Trixie whispered. “Probably just a pickpocket, but let’s get out into a better-lit street.”

  Jasper grabbed her wrist, and they began walking steadily, quickly. But when Trixie seemed set to run, he tightened his hold to slow her down. Running would only draw attention.

  Just a few more steps and they’d get out of this dark, narrow street and onto a well-lit one. From there find a ride to Trixie’s cash and—

  A bullet whizzed past Jasper’s ear, so close he could feel the heat. He threw himself down on the hard wooden boardwalk, scraping his hands. He clawed at his jacket and pulled out his derringer. It was only useful in tight quarters.

  With a firm grip on Trixie, he rolled off the edge of the boardwalk and fell to the dirty street with a thud.

  More shots fired. A woman screamed from the street ahead. A man shouted. Witnesses, hopefully to scare their assailant away.

  Trixie shoved him, and Jasper saw they could crawl beneath the boards. Scrambling, Jasper took cover. “Crawl,” he whispered.

  The boardwalk was high enough that they could move quickly. Trixie had trouble with her dress, but she was somehow managing.

  They made it to the corner and rounded it just as another bullet fired. The sound of a fast-moving horse echoed from the street ahead. Jasper could look out and see the flashing hooves.

  They rounded the corner of the building, still crawling. Jasper slammed his back against the foundation and waited, gun ready.

  Staring forward, Jasper considered climbing out onto the street. Whoever was after them would know he couldn’t get away with cold-blooded murder in front of dozens of witnesses.

  Another bullet whizzed past them across the busy street. Someone cried out in pain. The recklessness of it brought Jasper’s jaw into a tight line. There would be no running from this. No hope of safety in numbers.

  He struggled to silence his breathing and aimed his derringer at whoever was pursuing them. The scratching in the dirt told him someone was crawling straight for them, coming fast. Then he heard more, two people at least. These weren’t pickpockets, not even hardened thieves. Thieves struck, and if they missed, they ran.

  Jasper knew it because he’d been one.

  The scratching was the sound of someone crawling on his hands and knees straight for the corner that concealed Jasper. He’d have two shots. A move to his right drew his attention for one second. Trixie with her own derringer, and a knife in her teeth.

  That was the kind of woman he wanted to run off with. He looked back as the scratching got louder. He heard someone breathing hard.

  An extended arm, pointing a gun, rounded the corner. Jasper grabbed the arm and shoved up. The gun fired and fired again. Splinters exploded from the wood overhead. Jasper yanked hard and the man fell forward. A neat round circle appeared in the man’s forehead. Jasper hadn’t shot him.

  It had to be Trixie. The man slumped forward, and Jasper braced himself for the next attacker, only to hear pounding footsteps running away, back down the narrow street.

  “We have to get him or he’ll report that he’s seen us.” Jasper shoved the dead man out of the way, but Trixie’s nails sank into the neck of his shirt.

  “No! We go. We run. Now! The opposite direction that man went. And we don’t look back.” Trixie’s face was ashen white.

  Whether it was panic talking or horror at what she’d done or good sense, Jasper knew she was right. The man was gone. If he worked for the Hardeseys, then he probably had friends close by. And Jasper had none.

  “You’re right,” he said. “Let’s go.” He crawled straight out ahead into the busy street. People had started to gather. A man lay on his back groaning. Several people crouched near him, giving aid.

  “That man under there tried to kill us.” Jasper pointed under the boardwalk and kept moving. They all turned to look at the dead man. Once they were diverted, no one considered grabbing Trixie or him. They rounded a corner, where Jasper spotted a passing wagon. Jasper had no money and Trixie had lapsed into silence. From her grim expression, Jasper knew she was just starting to realize she’d killed a man.

  Jasper needed her to be thinking. She was proving to be better at it than he was. But right now, he didn’t have time to calm her down. He grabbed her and dragged her onto the back of the open wagon.

  The driver didn’t notice because he kept moving forward. “Where’d you hide your money?” Jasper whispered once they were in motion.

  Trixie roused herself enough to tell him, and Jasper realized their luck as they were heading in the right direction. He sank back against a wooden crate, pulled Trixie close to him, and braced himself to expect another attack.

  Chapter

  12

  “We hired two new men today,” Ethan said.

  Audra looked up from where she was washing the dishes. She was a good little wife. The food was hot and plentiful, the house was clean, and his clothes were washed and mended.

  Ethan was a contented man.

  Lily lay kicking her feet on a blanket on the floor. Maggie sat on the floor beside Ethan, trying to eat her own toes.

  “I heard you say you need more men so some of them can go hire on with Rafe, and later with Seth.” Audra set the last pan on the counter to drip dry and opened the drain to let the water flow out. Rafe had built himself a modern wonder of a kitchen.

  Ethan came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. “I’m just telling you so you can be mindful.” He kissed her neck.

  She squirmed and grinned over her shoulder at him. “Behave yourself, Ethan Kincaid.”

  He stole a kiss, since her lips were right there handy. “The other men have been h
ere awhile and they’re steady. But whenever someone new joins up with us, we watch ’em close for a time.”

  Audra wrung her dishcloth and draped it to dry over the edge of the sink. Then she turned in his arms with a frown. “I don’t like being taken care of, Ethan. I’m trying to stand on my own.”

  “Uh . . . well, could you stand on your own while staying inside the house?” Ethan could tell, despite her efforts to be fierce, she was fighting a smile. “Please, let me gather eggs and tend the garden for the next few days.” He should have made it an order. He’d been planning to practice on her, but she was so sweet, surely saying please didn’t hurt anything. “I don’t want the men to even lay an eye on you. They may know I have a wife, but they don’t need to see how pretty she is.”

  “I know you’re trying to take care of me, but I’ve made a mess of my life up until now by turning everything over to others. I’m trying to grow up and turn into someone I can respect.”

  “I respect you, Audra.” He kissed her again. “In fact, I respect every inch of you.”

  “Okay. For a few days, I’ll stay inside.”

  She smiled and Ethan was overcome by a restless need to get his wife alone. And there were two wide-awake babies making that impossible. Then Maggie yawned and rubbed her eyes. “Maggie looks plumb sleepy,” he said.

  “I fed her early because she was fussing. I think she’s ready for a nap.”

  Ethan crouched and gently slid his arms under Lily and lifted her blanket and all. He handed her to Audra. “I’ll bring Magpie.”

  He picked little Maggie up, and she gave him the sleepiest smile Ethan had ever seen. It hit him hard how lucky a man was to have children to his name. He was surprised how easy it was to care about them. He cradled the little girl in his arms, and she moved her cheek against his chest to snuggle closer. His heart ached with the sweetness of it, and he didn’t like it, that ache. It felt too good and it threatened too much pain. Life was so fragile, and Ethan wasn’t a man to count on in times of trouble.

  There were a lot of Bible verses about the good fortune of having many children. His eyes lifted and he watched Audra as she carried Lily upstairs.

  Many children.

  Many seemed like more than two.

  He watched her gently swaying skirt for far too long, then followed quickly. In the time it took to walk upstairs, Maggie had dropped off to sleep. He laid her down on the bed while Audra settled Lily into her recently finished cradle. He gave Maggie a kiss on her mostly bald head and watched her heavy eyelids sink closed.

  He exchanged a look with Audra and the two of them slipped out of the room. She turned for the stairs and he caught her arm.

  “What?”

  “Shh.” Ethan jerked his head toward their bedroom. She was obedient enough to come along and be quiet. Two orders, both followed. A rare woman. Of course any woman was rare. But Ethan had noticed Julia didn’t have a lot of obey in her. That suited Rafe right down to the ground, but Ethan was finding he liked a biddable type of female.

  He pulled her into the room and closed the door quietly.

  Then he turned her to face him.

  “What did you need, Ethan?”

  The question made a shiver run up his whole body. He bent and kissed her.

  Long moments passed before Ethan raised his lips from hers. “I think, honey, that more than I need to eat a meal . . . I need to be . . . married.”

  Their eyes met. He slid his arms around her waist to head off an escape attempt. Instead of running, she smiled and rested one of her soft, sweet hands on his cheek. “I think I need to be married, too.” She guided his lips back down to hers.

  Ethan thought she was turning out to be about the best little wife a man could ever have.

  And then he didn’t have another clear thought for a long, long time.

  Audra woke up and listened. Since Seth had left, the night hours were much easier. That didn’t mean she didn’t get disturbed by one of the children. Then she realized it was the sound of Ethan’s heart beating, right under her ear.

  She turned her head and saw that he was awake. It was probably some stirring, some faster pace of his heart that had awakened her, because she thought she’d been sleeping on him for quite some time.

  She hadn’t given any thought to practical things while he’d been making love to her, but now her mind was clear.

  “You know, Ethan, we’ll probably be adding to our brood before long.”

  He smiled. She purely loved his smile, and it was a good thing, because he did a lot of it. In fact, it seemed the worse things were, the more he smiled. As handsome as that smile was, it didn’t tell her much. It certainly didn’t tell her if he was happy.

  “I’ve been thinking of a psalm,” Ethan said. “ ‘Children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them.’ ”

  “Um . . . how many arrows are there in a quiver exactly?” Audra was sorely afraid there were quite a few.

  He smiled and said, “Audra, honey, have I mentioned lately that I am finding married life with you to be a pure pleasure?”

  It wasn’t I love you, but it was nicer than anything Wendell had ever said to her. Which was no great contest to win, considering Wendell had the temperament of a rabid skunk. With a mental shake of her head, she turned her thoughts from Wendell, refusing to allow him in her head when she was with Ethan.

  Then Ethan leaned over and kissed her, and she didn’t have one bit of trouble concentrating solely on him. Ethan pulled her closer—which wasn’t really possible—just as a soft whimper sounded from the next room.

  “Lily,” she whispered.

  “I’ll get her.” Ethan gently drew one callused finger down her cheek, then swung around to rise from the bed. He pulled on his pants, grabbed a shirt.

  “Hurry so she doesn’t wake Maggie.” With a pang of regret, Audra watched her very handsome husband leave their room. She didn’t know much about love for a man. She loved her children fiercely. She loved Julia as the true sister of her heart. She loved her little brother and sister.

  Her mother was a quiet woman who had little to do with the children, leaving that for servants. But Audra had loved her desperately until it had gotten too painful. And when Mother had stood by while Audra was forced into marriage, that love had died a dreadful death.

  Her father had only been a man to fear and avoid.

  She remembered a few beautifully romantic poems in her school days, and they’d spoken to her and seemed to promise her happiness in married life. But she’d never come close to feeling any love for Wendell. Now, with Ethan, she thought . . . maybe.

  The warmth in her chest as she watched her husband hurry to fetch the baby might be close.

  Love.

  She remembered the pain of realizing her mother didn’t love her and felt a terrible fear for what would lie ahead if she loved Ethan and he didn’t return that love. Instead, he only smiled in his shallow way. But what if he learned to love her? When his touch was so generous and passionate, she dared to think it just might be possible. She sat up and put on her nightgown, preparing to take Lily when Ethan returned. While she nursed the baby, she’d find a way to lure a few words of affection out of her always grinning husband.

  She stood and looked out the window across the moonlit ranch yard.

  A man darted out of the barn.

  “Ethan, come quick!”

  She saw the man vanish into the woods, heading away from the bunkhouse.

  Ethan came in and ran to her side. “What is it?”

  “I saw a man running from the barn.”

  And then she saw a lick of flames coming from the barn’s hayloft.

  “Fire!” Ethan whirled away.

  “Ethan, the foal!”

  Ethan still had Lily, and he took her with him as he snatched up his boots and hurried down the stairs. Audra rushed after
him. When she got outside, he turned back and thrust Lily into her hands, then picked up the iron triangle and banged away at it. Steele came charging out of the bunkhouse.

  “Fire in the barn! The hayloft!” Ethan yelled. “Audra, you know the trapdoor in the kitchen floor?”

  “Yes, of course.” She’d seen it there in the kitchen, but she’d never opened it before.

  “That’s the cellar. Get yourself and the children down there right now.” He pulled on his boots as he talked. “Fire can’t get at you in the cellar.”

  “Ethan, I don’t want to hide underground.” Like a frightened animal.

  Ethan took her by the arm. “Please, Audra. Or I’ll have to divide my attention between the fire and worrying about you. Listen, there’s a separate room at the back of the cellar. It’s stocked with a lantern and a few supplies. I’ve checked it since I came home and everything’s there. The room has a door with a bolt on it. Throw it.”

  “Lock the door?” She shook her head, hating the idea of being locked up in a dark cellar.

  He leaned close. “Audra, we don’t know who that man was. Chances are he set that fire. If he’s up to setting a fire, then he’s capable of all sorts of trouble. Get down there and lock yourself in and don’t come out until you hear me or Steele call you.”

  Audra knew protecting her children had to come first. “I’ll do it.”

  “I’ll get Maggie.” He turned to go back inside.

  Audra slapped a hand on Ethan’s chest. “No! I’ll get us down there. We’ll be safe. Go.”

  Ethan heard the mare whinny in panic from the barn. He glanced at the wooded area surrounding the house. “If the trees catch, this fire could burn for miles. The house could go, but you’ll be safe in that room in the cellar. It’s dug back so it’s not under the house. Stay there!”

  Their eyes met. “Trust me, Ethan. Now go!”

  Ethan jerked his chin, turned, and ran. It struck Audra that the trust Ethan had just put in her to take care of herself and her children was the finest moment of her life.