Puma

by Jorrie Spencer

  Scott gave an impatient twist of his head. “Don’t make me push, Dev. I don’t like it. Especially with you.”

  “Then don’t push,” Dev replied evenly. He used to take pride in replying without rancor. No more. That said, it was still safer.

  “Trouble is, I need to know if this Callie is a threat to us.”

  “No.”

  “Truth, Dev.”

  “No.”

  “No to truth? No to Callie being a threat?”

  “Both.”

  Scott eyed him, clearly fed-up. Dev didn’t care but, of course, Scott would make him care very, very soon. Never mind his small, useless victories, even if they kept him sane.

  “You agreed to this, Dev.”

  Had he? Dev wished that was in the notes he’d written to himself. Obviously he’d never felt confident about the truth or nontruth of that.

  “Why would I agree to this? How?” Dev knew he shouldn’t ask, knew he had asked many times before and could no longer remember the answers.

  “I don’t have time for this.” With a quick movement, Scott whipped out a hand to grab Dev’s wrist, and Dev trembled, but stayed still.

  “Let fucking go of me.”

  “I’m not going to push you, you’re too fragile.”

  “I’m not fragile.” Dev forced the words out.

  “Yes, you’re strong,” Scott said. The words were patronizing and Dev felt freaked, like he really was weak. “Ruth’s not so strong. I’ll have to push her, if you won’t tell me the truth.”

  Dev jerked his arm out of Scott’s grasp. “There’s nothing to say. Callie thinks we’re all weird.”

  “What’s her angle?”

  “No angle. She’s looking out for her little sister. Wants to protect her, I think.”

  With a shake of his head, Scott dismissed that. “Why now? She’s been totally out of the picture. She wasn’t even around when Ruth belonged to Eleanor.”

  Just the name sent wild thoughts tumbling through Dev, but he resisted the chaos, came back to this discussion with Scott, and threw up his arms in a who-knows gesture. “I can’t tell you ‘why now’. But Callie is genuinely interested in Ruth’s well-being.”

  Scott appeared to consider this a serious possibility. Enough to ask, “Ruth didn’t summon Callie here, did she?”

  “I don’t think so.” Dev didn’t want Ruth to get in trouble so he added, “Ruth squealed in shock when Callie arrived, as if she wasn’t expecting her sister.”

  That gave Scott some measure of relief. He hated thinking his control wasn’t good, Dev knew. Hated to think one of his would ask to be rescued.

  “Okay, good. I’d have to rethink if I thought Ruth was trying to get out.” Here Scott gave Dev a crooked smile. “On the other hand, I know you are trying to get out.”

  Dev found it hard to catch his breath.

  “You need to remember we’re doing good work here, Dev.”

  Oh yeah. Good work. It’s just that nothing about it felt good. If only he knew what the fuck “good work” was a euphemism for.

  “I haven’t pushed you, Dev, and I don’t want to push you this visit. We should take a break from that.” Inwardly, Dev sneered at the “we”. Scott made decisions unilaterally. Dev found it hard to fathom how he’d come to be under the thumb of this overgrown teenager. It galled him. “Remember what our goal is?”

  Dev detested these kinds of questions, so he didn’t answer, and Scott rolled his eyes to indicate that he thought Dev was acting difficult. Then he answered his question himself.

  “Our goal is to take in rescues.”

  Don’t argue, don’t argue, don’t argue. Dev didn’t know if Scott was honest here or playing with him. But asking that would never lead to answers, would just get Dev in trouble, with Scott or with his own head.

  Scott continued, “We make people better, make them forget what they’ve been through, and then they can leave. Callie’s going to mess up Ruth’s leave-taking. If Callie cares for her foster sister, she wouldn’t want that. Right?”

  Dev remembered his sheet. Apparently Ian and Helen had left. Maybe this was truth. Hard to tell.

  “You’re not shaking,” Scott pointed out.

  Dev lifted a hand to see that Scott was right. Despite everything, Dev knew enough to remember shaking and trembling. That awful kind of weakness happened after he’d been pushed by Scott.

  “How’s Madison?” Scott asked and Dev panicked for a moment, fearing Scott had seen through her guise. Dev wanted to protect Madison’s young, developing brain from Scott’s pushes. Even if Scott saved people, he couldn’t seem to resist exercising his influence over them. A Minder, even one who wanted to save people, could not stop himself from pushing. It was his nature.

  “Same.” Dev managed to sound offhand but Scott’s next question suggested that he hadn’t completely succeeded.

  “Do you remember that I rescued the child?”

  Dev frowned, hating the way that sounded like truth. If it was truth, why did he need to hide Madison’s real personality from Scott?

  “Max didn’t like the way she cried all the time. He would have killed her. I don’t do that.”

  Dev searched through his memories, trying to sort them out. It felt right, what Scott said, but was that enough, or had Scott planted the idea in his mind earlier?

  “Truth, Dev.”

  “I’ve grown to hate the word truth.”

  Scott’s face closed and Dev knew he’d made a mistake. Because, oh yes, how could he forget, Scott wanted them to be friends. Scott was lonely. Dev needed to write down that Scott was lonely. He got in trouble when he didn’t remember. Got in trouble when Scott sulked. Got pushed.

  “Forget it, Dev. You think you want to remember the truth, but you don’t, not really.”

  What Dev wanted was Scott out of his room and out of his head, far, far away.

  “Anyway, don’t worry about Callie. Ruth’ll get rid of her.”

  “Except Ruth wants her to stay,” Dev said in a low voice. Better if Scott realized what he was up against.

  “No. She doesn’t. If Callie stays, she too will have to become one of mine. And no matter how much Ruth adores me, she won’t want her sister to belong to me. Neither do you. Right, Dev?”

  Dev couldn’t follow the conversation for much longer. He was getting lost. “It doesn’t matter what I want.”

  “You’re wrong, and somewhere in there you know you’re wrong.” Scott reached out to touch Dev’s temple and he flinched. On Scott’s face was a look of disgust. “They didn’t even touch you, Dev. I intercepted before that. So you owe me, remember? Remember, Dev?”

  “No.” He was wheezing now, as if that story, that lie, whatever it was, hurt.

  “It’s okay. Better that you forget it, I suppose.” If Scott were a normal person, Dev would think his casual tone forced, but Scott was anything but normal. “I shouldn’t bring up the past. It messes with your head. But you get me so angry, making me out to be the bad guy. I’m good, Dev, and we’re in this together.” Here Scott grabbed Dev’s arm and Dev started to tremble as Scott stared into his eyes, demanding something of him. “I’m good,” Scott repeated. “I protect you.”

  Dev froze and then, as Scott waited, he slowly nodded.

  With that, Scott released him, turned away and walked out the door, something Dev had wanted him to do since he’d entered the room half an hour ago.

  He clenched his fists, unclenched them, and tried to order his thoughts. The only thing that came back to him was that it was true, what Scott had said. I’m good and we’re in this together.

  Dev felt a little shaky, so he lay down on the bed to stare at the ceiling while his mind emptied out.

  Time passed…

  Perhaps the light tapping had gone on for a while, but the noise didn’t register until his door slowly inched open. He bolted up to sitting even though he expected the intruder to be Madison, who was always tentative about entering his room. The child sometimes had
sleep terrors and needed to be reassured in the middle of the night.

  Whereas Scott never entered his room as if he didn’t fully belong.

  The person Dev stared at now was Callie, the beautiful interloper who was squinting at the bright ceiling light shining in his room. With a glance at his clock, he realized it was three in the morning. He should have been sleeping in the dark. He usually slept in the dark. He must have been exhausted and forgotten to shut the lights.

  “Mind if I turn off your light?” she asked, now shading her eyes against the brightness. The hall behind her was dark.

  “Go ahead.” Two words. Easy to say.

  The room dimmed and he ground the heels of his hands into his eyes so they hurt. It relieved some of the pressure.

  “What are you doing here?” He wanted her to leave, he wanted her to stay.

  “Came to see if you’re okay.” She hadn’t moved closer and he appreciated that.

  “Of course I’m okay.” Perhaps he imagined the doubt pulsing off her in waves. So she didn’t believe him. Didn’t matter.

  “Bad dream?”

  “Yep.” Had he been making some noise? He hoped not, though heat flooded through his body. Embarrassment, he identified.

  “I couldn’t sleep.”

  “I see.”

  “Do you?”

  Don’t answer. There was no answer. He simply stared. At least Callie’s warm amber eyes held no power.

  “Never mind that question.” She slowly stepped towards him. “I have another.”

  God, he didn’t want questions. His brain was full of them and answers were thin on the ground.

  “See, I’m worried about Ruth. She told me to leave the house.” Callie eyed him. “Are you going to tell me to leave?”

  Answerable, so Dev considered that question. Scott wanted Callie gone which meant… Reason enough for…what? There were reasons. Certainly.

  He lost his train of thought and simply stared. She was beautiful, Callie. It hurt a little to see her, caused a tightness in his chest, just in front of his heart. That was a fanciful notion. And an odd one, given that he was asexual.

  He went still as he realized she was now beside his bed and he hadn’t even heard her move. She moved so silently, especially in the dark.

  “I’m just going to sit on the floor beside your bed, okay?” She dropped, so he could only make out the shape of her head. “I want us to be quiet though. I have a feeling Scott wouldn’t like us talking.”

  “Scott likes to talk,” Dev offered. It seemed like a safe thing to say. “He’s good,” he felt compelled to add, in case she had taken his first comment as a criticism. Dev didn’t criticize Scott.

  “Good,” she echoed. “I’d ask you what good meant if I thought you would answer.”

  A searing sensation ripped through Dev, self-contempt, anger. He hated his weakness. If I thought you would answer. She understood his weakness, or at least something about it.

  “Okay?” asked Callie, apropos of nothing, and nothing seemed okay. Why was she asking? No one had asked him questions for a long time, except for Scott and the Minder didn’t count. The silence stretched on and Dev felt uncomfortable.

  “I’m tired,” he said finally. “I think it’s time you leave.”

  When she didn’t move, he explained, “Leave my room. Ruth needs you.”

  “She does,” Callie agreed. But she didn’t move and Dev didn’t know what she wanted. “I like you, Dev.”

  Dev sat there, unsure how to respond. He searched for something appropriate and came up with “Thanks.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  There was a smile in her voice and a part of Dev wanted to reach for her, just a little bit of human contact. Odd thing to desire, when he disliked human contact. He turned to face her, but the words didn’t come.

  “I don’t usually like men,” she said, as if explaining herself.

  “No?” This interested him, this surprising statement. Perhaps she, too, disliked contact. Wait, he didn’t believe that; she’d welcomed her sister’s embraces, and hugged her back.

  “I like children and my sister, but not many others.” Ah, so she liked him as in like, not attracted to. That realization made Dev breathe easier. It also, strangely, disappointed him.

  “Somehow it’s easier to talk in the dark,” Callie said. “When you can’t see me. Why is that, I wonder?”

  “I don’t know.” Something loosened in him, because a topic of conversation he could engage in had finally arisen. “You’re beautiful.”

  “I am?” Anyone else, anywhere else, would have been fishing for compliments. Callie just sounded curious.

  “Well, I think so.”

  “I’m glad,” she whispered.

  “But,” he added quickly because he didn’t want her getting the wrong idea and coming on to him. That kind of encounter and its fallout, he couldn’t withstand. “I don’t like women. I mean, I’m not attracted to them. I like you. As you like me.” Inwardly he winced, wondering how he’d just managed to sound both inane and formal.

  “Oh.” She seemed to ponder that while she rested her head on one arm, gazing up at him. “You know, Dev, I don’t think that’s true.”

  He wasn’t sure what she was referring to, but didn’t really care. He just saw red. “Don’t”—his voice sounded harsh as he leaned forward—“talk to me about truth. Just don’t. You know nothing about it.” He tried to see her expression in the dark, but couldn’t quite, only those eyes. She hadn’t moved. He wanted to shake her for talking about truth. Except that would involve laying hands on her.

  “I’m trying to learn. About it, that is. Though it’s hard, under the circumstances.” She sounded earnest, even if she didn’t know what she was talking about. She also didn’t sound offended, despite his outburst about truth. Pushing herself up to standing, she regarded him with a serious air. “I think I should leave now. Give you a break. Sleep well, Dev-with-the-dark-eyes.”

  He gazed after her as she disappeared through his door. Dev-with-the-dark-eyes. What did that mean? He rubbed his weary dark eyes one more time and lay back down, hoping his mind would float away and he could sleep. He did, but it took a half hour, because he kept thinking of Callie and her slender body moving through his room, towards him, away from him, her movements whisper-soft, her voice clean.

  Chapter Six

  The next morning Callie woke ready to throttle Scott. Her puma could sink her teeth into the back of Scott’s neck and shake the life out of him.

  The image should have appalled her. She’d never visualized killing a human before, but Scott had enraged her. In any event, Puma would do nothing. Callie would. Because she was in the human world. She made a fist, imagining it connecting with Scott’s mouth. Trey would be surprised. He’d been shocked to find out how nonviolent she was, given his admittedly few run-ins with other werecougars.

  Callie gave her head a shake.

  “What?” demanded Ruth, jerking up from sleep to full awake in a very non-Ruth way.

  “Nothing.”

  “You growled, kinda.”

  “Huh.”

  Ruth lost interest in the growl, but her gaze became intent and focused on Callie. “Callie, I’m very sorry, I love you, but you just have to leave.”

  Callie stared back, wondering if her little sister had become Scott’s repeater station and just how many more times she would hear this. More puzzling was the question of how Scott exercised this kind of influence over Ruth. Callie uncurled her fists and forced herself to speak as evenly as possible. “We went over this. I am leaving.” Ruth cast her a look of relief. “Just not immediately.” At that, Ruth frowned. “Remember?”

  Her sister smoothed out the blanket bunched at her knees, but her brow remained creased. “We talked about this already? What did Scott say?”

  “You know what? I’m going to go talk to Scott now, because I haven’t even met him yet.” Callie was striving for a casual tone, but somehow that came out with a w
eird kind of strained jocularity to it. Oh well. To avoid further discussion on the topic, Callie bolted from the room.

  She made it down to the kitchen to find Dev making breakfast—bacon and eggs. Madison was in the den watching TV, and Scott was in there too. No one paid attention to Callie, though Dev grunted a greeting of some kind, so she just watched Scott who lobbed the occasional question at Madison. The child acted impervious and didn’t appear to be aware that Scott was alive, let alone in the same room with her. Madison was acting and that very much intrigued Callie.

  On a long sigh, Scott pushed down on his knees and rose from the couch. As he entered the kitchen, he came to a stop at the sight of Callie.

  “Good morning.” He seemed genuinely surprised to see her, and a little put out. Perhaps he’d expected immediate results from Ruth’s request that Callie leave. The fury began to rise in her again, and she resolutely squashed it. This conversation was a scouting mission of sorts, so she intended to do it right.

  Therefore Callie nodded at Scott. No harm in her practicing how to be polite to someone she despised. In the future it might become an important social skill. More to the point, she felt the situation in this house was serious yet totally incomprehensible, and she needed to come to a better understanding about what was going on.

  “I’m Callie.” She held out her hand, but Scott hunched his shoulders and put both hands in his front pockets, obviously unwilling to shake. Callie dropped her arm back down to her side. Examining his face more closely, she saw that he was neither plain nor handsome, rather nondescript. Crew cut. His eyes were gray, cool, but most shocking was his age. She didn’t think he was more than twenty. If that. Probably younger than Ruth. Callie had expected someone older to be running the show in this house. Besides, Ruth had always gravitated to older men.

  “Find what you’re looking for?” Scott drawled and she blinked, unsure of his meaning. “You’re looking at me as if you’re searching, Callie.” He said her name with a kind of creepy intimacy that she disliked.

  He was right, she was searching for reasons: why Scott affected Ruth so strongly, why Dev had Madison pretending she didn’t talk, and why Scott chatted with Dev about pushing, goals and good works. Because, yes, she’d eavesdropped on their conversation last night, and she hadn’t liked what it had done to Dev. Given the strange vibes, she felt no compunction about lying. “You look familiar. Have we met?”