Rebel Heart

by Tee Ayer

  I didn’t need a full shift. Just enough that his grip on my head would loosen to allow me to move. My hands burned with pain as they transitioned fully into fur-covered feline paws with deadly claws. More deadly than the half-shifted clawed hand that I’d used before.

  I didn’t waste a moment before swiping him hard in the gut, then following with a blow to his neck. I repeated the attacks over and over, fueled by my panther’s need to protect me, spurred on by the fear that he’d infected me with something, that whatever now filled my lungs would eventually kill me.

  And it wasn’t my life I was thinking about. It was all those people who were possessed by wraiths in our city who wouldn’t have a way to be free, all those innocent families and friends who would suffer at the hands of these insidious creatures.

  I put everything I had into one last blow and it was enough. He was injured, throat scraped, cheek in tatters, a gaping hole in his side, flesh ripped. Feline claws did their fair share of damage.

  He loosened his hold on my head and I flipped him over, my clawed hands going straight to his throat. I could have slashed his neck open, but I had to do it properly.

  I knew from previous run-ins that a slashed throat, or an open wound didn’t trouble these creatures all that much. Maybe they had an immunity to pain. Whatever it was, lack of pain even when grievously wounded meant they’d still be walking if I left them alive. Then they could easily heal the damage with magic or hide the injury long enough for them to find another more viable meat-suit.

  Sorry, buster. Not going to let that happen.

  My grip tightened and I watched as his eyes widened, the swirling darkness within them growing stronger, moving faster. And he began to scream despite my hold on his throat. Shivers ran down my spine as the sound burrowed deep inside my body.

  I wasn’t sure how he was able to emit such a sound, but I suspected it came more from the wraith who possessed the man, than the human body itself.

  Fingers tightening, I forced myself to hold on to his neck, waiting painful seconds and then minutes until at last the darkness in his eyes appeared to fade, to grow lighter and more transparent.

  And then, with a dull whoosh, black smoke exploded from the body of the man and swirled in a dusky cloud above him. The shards of shadows sought each other out as though drawn by some magnetic force. And for a brief moment, the shards coalesced into a form, into the wraith itself, which was simply a creature fashioned from darkness and shadows.

  I watched it solidify, experienced a microsecond of clarity, and my heart tightened. This was the first time I’d seen a wraith in its true from.

  Hooded cloak, pale leathery skin, sunken eyes that glowed with a strange green light. I got a brief flash of long silvery hair and a dark mouth open on a silent howl, before the image was gone, as though I’d just imagined it all.

  And then, with a swirling of a breeze, the wraith disintegrated into shadow again and appeared to burrow into the air around it. The sight was strange and weird as every time I’d killed a wraith before, the shadows had fled upward into the sky escaping in some way into thin air.

  But this time, the splinters of shadows undulated and like little leeches, they burrowed into slits in the air before disappearing altogether into nothingness.

  What in Ailuros’ name had just happened?

  Deal or No Deal

  The day Kai arrived in Chicago

  My hand moved in the air, knuckles bent as I was about to knock on the door to the apartment. I stopped then, fist frozen in the air as I wondered what she would say when she saw me. Would she tell me to go back home? Would she yell at me and remind me what a terrible thing I'd done?

  I swallowed hard and took a slow breath, then tugged my heavy knapsack higher on my shoulder with my other hand. I hadn't even been sure what to bring with me. Part of my mind had accepted that it would be forever. That once I walked out that door, there was no turning back.

  But another part of me was reassuring. He'd be angry, that's for sure. Disappointed, which was a dead certainty. Hurt? I wasn't so sure he was able to feel much anymore.

  It was all very romantic when you thought about it.

  The love of Corin Odel's life had walked out on him without a word of warning, disappearing into thin air, leaving him to raise three young children. He'd borne the ordeal with strength and determination, but what he'd never understood was she'd broken something inside him. We'd had plenty of family dinners filled with teasing and laughter, and often enough Grams would be there. But behind the amusement in his eyes was a faraway look, a distance in his expression that said his mind was always elsewhere.

  With her.

  I wasn't sure if I was more angry with him or with my mother. Celeste Odel had abandoned her children, she'd left me alone with Greer, my older sister who was only interested in boys and in her stunning good looks, and Iain, a brother too involved in alpha responsibilities and agent training. Shouldn’t she have known I'd be the most lonely of them all? And I didn't care if that sounded selfish. I was done putting everyone else first. It was time Kai Odel was at the top of my list.

  I swallowed again and hesitated again.

  "Would you just come inside, dear?" Grams' voice filtered toward me from within the apartment and I stiffened. Then I smiled and opened the door. I couldn’t pretend to be surprised when the woman was also a panther alpha.

  I shut the door behind me and gave my grandmother a sheepish grin. In return, she supplied me with an overly arched eyebrow.

  I rolled my eyes. "Don't tell me you're going to send me right back home." There was a clear false bravado in my tone that made me want to cringe.

  Grams was sitting on the sofa, half turned to look at me, her blue eyes penetrating. "And what would you do if I did tell you to go back home?"

  I gritted my teeth and then shrugged. "I won't. I'll leave Chicago. Maybe head to Boston or something." I heard the quaver in my voice, but I didn't care. This was Grams after all. Showing your vulnerable side to a powerful matriarch ought to be a bad idea. Just not when the woman was your grandmother.

  Grams let out a long-suffering sigh. "Very well. If you're going to behave in a rash and unreasonable manner, then I suppose I have little choice in the matter." I tensed, jaw going tight as I waited for her to point at the door and send me packing. Then Grams got to her feet. "You may as well stay. Do your chores, go to school, and don't get into trouble. Deal?"

  I frowned. I should have voiced my gratitude but instead I said, "School?"

  Grams smirked. "Did you really think I'd allow one of my own bloodline to shirk the responsibility of a good education? And besides, if I reassure your father that you are behaving responsibly then he can't have much to oppose."

  Eyes narrowed now, I stared at Grams. The woman was truly a sneaky mastermind. "Fine. School. But how would I get a place at a human school? I'd need transfer papers from Bastet College and Dad's not about to go ask Mrs. Finchley for one. That would be an admission that his alpha daughter ran off without permission."

  As if one could run off with permission? Nice one, Kai.

  Grams pursed her lips. "Now you're worried about how this will look for your father? Perhaps you ought to have thought that over before you ran off?" Her tone was filled with disappointment and I had to admit that it hurt to know she saw me for what I was.

  A disappointment.

  Then Grams waved a hand in the air and strode toward me. "Anyway, enough with the morbid self-recrimination. Let’s get you settled. You can have the White Room," she said before striding off toward the spare room.

  "Grams. You only have two rooms," I muttered though she didn't appear to have heard as she flung open the door to the only other bedroom in her small apartment. I followed her inside and true to her word the space was decorated in a pristine white. The color felt calm and reassuring. A blank slate so to speak, ready and waiting for me to put my own personal stamp on it.

  Grams stood beside the window, staring out at the view of
the city. I dropped my knapsack on the bed and went to stand beside her. She glanced at me and then pointed at the metal stairs attached to the outside of the building which could be reached by opening the window and jumping out onto the fire escape landing. "I know how you kids are, trying to sneak in and out of the house without the adults knowing. You may use that as an entrance or exit, but please be careful. It's not securely fixed to the wall but if you remain light on your feet, you'll survive the trip."

  I smiled, relaxing a little to know that my own grandmother was giving me permission to come and go as I pleased. I wonder what Dad would think if he ever found out.

  "Thanks Grams," I said softly, curling my arm around her waist. I rested my head on her shoulder and sighed. "I'm sorry for putting you in the middle of this."

  She snorted. "You're not sorry."

  I laughed softly. "I suppose I'm not. Not entirely. I just hope you won’t get in trouble with Dad over this."

  Grams shook her head, the movement making me shift my head from the calming spot on her shoulder and stand upright. She gave me a kind smile, although it did contain a hint of steel. Grams had always been like this. Sweet, gentle and kind, but underneath, strict, no-nonsense and very badass. It was an odd combination but one I found very comforting.

  “I know my son, dear,” Grams said. “He’ll be angry and hurt now but he will get over it. It’s hard for him to let go of you kids. For now, he’ll feel like he’s losing you, but in time he will see you’re independent, and strong. And responsible.”

  I nodded slowly. “And I suppose school is the being responsible part?” I sighed and then grinned. “I’ll go to school. I have less than a year to finish college anyway so I may as well get it done with.”

  Grams cleared her throat. “There’s a second part to this deal.”

  I blinked, a little concerned now that she was going to hit me with something I either couldn’t, or wouldn’t, do. “Which is?” I asked slowly.

  “Get a job.”

  I hesitated. “Here in the city?”

  “Yes, dear.”

  “But I thought we were not really allowed to mix and mingle with vanilla humans?”

  Grams simply gave me a smile edged with steel. “Well, if you insist on living in the city, you’re going to have to learn how to become part of human society and not reveal your paranormal nature. And the best way to do that is to find a job and work alongside them.”

  I bit my lip, a little worried now. “What if I slip up or something?”

  Grams’ eyes narrowed. “Are you expecting to be that careless?”

  “Of course not,” I retorted, scowling at her.

  She patted my shoulder. “Then you have nothing to worry about, dear. Now unpack and maybe take a shower. I won’t be home for dinner but there’s leftover lasagna in the fridge. Oh, and there’s a newspaper on the coffee table. There may be a few jobs in the Help Wanted pages that you can apply for.”

  I smiled. Grams was already way ahead of me. “Thanks Grams.” I leaned over and kissed her cheek. “You’re my favorite grandmother, you know that?”

  She snickered as she turned to walk across the room. “Flattery will only get you so far, dear. Now go shower. You reek.”

  I snorted but she was already gone, having closed the room door behind her. She was right of course. I’d walked to the edge of the city instead of taking a cab. I could have shifted to panther form and made the trip quicker and less physically taxing, but maybe there was a part of me that wanted to punish myself, inflict some kind of pain as payment for running away.

  And so, I’d trekked through the mountains on foot and walked along the state highway until I’d reached the outskirts of the city where I grabbed a bus to Grams apartment. A cab would have made it all seem too easy.

  But hurting your only parent should never be easy.

  Cave of Sacraments

  Five years ago

  I bit the inside of my cheek as I watched my sister’s prone form lying still on the carved stone table.

  We were inside the Cave of Sacraments—to be honest I’m still not all that sure why it was called that. Nobody seemed to know. Whatever the reason, this little hollow, dug haphazardly out of the ancient rock to form a somewhat cave was the place where all walkers crossed over from human to wild thing during their time of Shifting.

  And today we were here to keep Greer company.

  Again.

  I stared in silence, fingers fisted so tightly that my nails dug into the skin of my palms and drew blood. I knew because I could smell the hint of copper on the air around me. I shook my head slightly and urged the skin to heal as fast as it could. There would be enough blood drawn within this cave soon enough.

  A cold breeze swirled around me as if the very air was reflecting my sister’s truest nature. Icy cold like her platinum hair, hard like the diamonds she coveted from any boy who cast her even a brief glance of interest.

  Greer shifted on the stone altar, her head tilting toward me, her white-blonde hair falling onto the table to reveal the milky pale skin of her cheek. Her eyes were closed but I knew beneath the blue-veined lids lay a pair of stunning green eyes. Eyes which were usually filled with cold derision when pointed in my direction.

  To say that my sister and I didn’t get along was an understatement of epic proportions. She was different to what I knew my friends’ sisters were. There seemed little warmth in her eyes, however demure she may want to appear. She did this thing where she’d smile, a secretive sort of blushingly coy smile that I knew for a fact worked amazingly well with the boys. Pity all it did was rub me the wrong way.

  When Mom left, I was seven, and Greer was eleven. The three years between us may as well have been a millennia, and sadly, I’d received no comfort or caring from my older sister even though I knew Mom had requested it of her.

  Mom had left us all letters before she’d disappeared from our lives. Greer’s had been especially painful for me to read and I still recalled the words. Even after all this time they continued to rip me open, even so many years later they still tasted of despair.

  Greer, I know this is asking a lot from you given that you are still so young yourself. But I need to know that you will look after your sister. I need to know that you will protect her at all times and that you will take the best care of her during her time of Change.

  As a mother I wish I could be there to support you girls during the toughest of times but sadly life has a way of steering us in directions we never saw possible, never could imagine. In this case it means I have to leave you all, a choice I make for your safety and that of our little family. I hope that someday you will understand the choices I have made but for now I need you to be a mother to Kai in my absence. It’s a huge responsibility, I know, but I am still trusting you with this.

  Your brother is older, has experienced his Change, and he will be a good man and an excellent Alpha for the clan. You girls will have different paths to follow and though I cannot be there with you as you take the steps toward your own lives, I pray that you two girls will stand by each other at all times.

  I thought about those words every day and as I lay in bed at night, when the house settled with pops and cracks and when the birds in the forest beyond the house ceased their calls, there were times when I’d let slip a tear or two.

  Was I feeling sorry for myself? Perhaps I was, but the truth was Greer hadn’t heeded a word of Mom’s request. If anything, Greer had tried her level best to be the pure opposite of what Mom asked.

  I took a slow even breath and watched Greer. Even now I wondered if she was pretending to have passed out just so that she could have that extra few moments to be the center of attention.

  The priestess stood beside the altar on the other side of Greer, swinging the incense holder, the grey smoke swilling around the room to hang like an ominous cloud above us. The priestess was worried, I could see it in her gray eyes, in the creases at the sides of her face.

  Was something reall
y wrong?

  I didn’t believe it. Greer was always able to pull the wool over people’s eyes. Not me though.

  A memory drifted into my mind.

  Blades & Blood

  Flashback Greer

  A year ago, I’d asked for a razor because I wanted to shave my legs. I’d barely had much hair on my skinny colt-like legs, but all my friends were shaving and I figured it was time I started too.

  Grams had been kind enough to buy me a razor, even though Greer had scoffed at the idea and Dad had questioned if I really needed it, as though he suspected that all I wanted to do was to assimilate. The man didn’t understand my need to fit in, but Grams did.

  She’d given me a twin-pack, and of course, Greer had demanded she get the spare. Grams hadn’t stopped her, but I could see it in her eyes that she hadn’t approved of Greer’s entitled attitude. I’d heard our grandmother talking to Dad a few weeks prior, expressing her concerns over Greer’s behavior. Dad had brushed it all off as likely unnecessary worries and that she’d probably grow out of it.

  I wasn’t so sure.

  Greer had demanded her razor as though it were some inheritance she was entitled to, and she’d stalked off to her room without a word, white ponytail tossed over her shoulder to narrowly miss smacking me in the face. I’d swallowed back the tears and accepted Grams’ hug, trying not to think of my sister’s coldness.

  A few weeks passed in which I’d lathered and shaved, then washed and dried my pretty pink, flower patterned razor before putting it away in my bathroom toiletries drawer.

  One morning, I’d used the razor, going through the motions I’d become so accustomed to when suddenly the air around me was filled with the scent of blood. The steam within the shower made the odor all the more powerful and I straightened in surprise, scenting the air using my panther senses. I was still new to my inner feline’s responses to my environment and for a moment I hesitated.