Queen of the Cookbooks

by Ashton Lee

  * * *

  Perhaps the most stunning blow to the picketers came when at least a dozen cars pulled up one after another into the parking lot around noon, honking their horns in random, staccato fashion to announce their arrival. Five or six people bounded out of each car, and they all gathered together in one spot where they were addressed by James Hannigan of The Cherico Market.

  “Ladies and gentlemen, here we all are, ready to go in and enjoy our new library. I know all of us have had nothing but memorable experiences with Maura Beth McShay, and we can never thank her enough for providing us with this outstanding facility. Cherico’s been long overdue for a library we can be proud of. I, for one, will never forget how she led me to the shelf where all the books on grief were. My mother had just died in her sleep, and I was having a real hard time with it, as anyone would. There were things I learned in those books that helped me through those dark times, and I will forever be grateful to Maura Beth for guiding me to that much-needed information. A priest or minister could not have done a better job. Meanwhile, as I’ve done in the past for so many other good causes, it was my pleasure to make announcements over my PA system in the grocery store to all of you, my best customers—this time about what’s going on with these church people—and I’m overwhelmed by the number of you who chose to follow me out here today. Hey, I’m happy to shut down The Cherico Market for an hour or so to help out. As Maura Beth’s always telling us in our Cherry Cola Book Club meetings, there’s strength in numbers.”

  He paused briefly to turn and glance at the picketers behind him. “Seems like it’s a sign of the times to go overboard protesting everything under the sun. To my way of thinking, some of it’s legit, and you gotta stand up for what you believe in if it’s halfway reasonable. That’s what this country is all about. But this business going on over there in front of our library, well, I think these people need to get a life instead of running their mouths like that about our librarian.”

  The group cheered, and there was even a bit of applause before Mr. Hannigan continued. “Anyway, let’s don’t waste any more time yakking at each other and get busy inside our library. I know I’ve got me an issue of Progressive Grocer I’ve been meaning to read in the periodicals area, and I just love how you can look up and see a fishing boat or somebody skiing out on the lake when your eyes get a little tired from the reading. Bet some a’ you have some best-sellers you can’t wait to check out, too. So, just follow my lead, and we’ll file in silently one by one and pay no mind to those signs and those insulting slogans.”

  It was almost comical the way everyone made a straight line and began the short journey to the sliding glass doors. No group of kindergarteners coming in from recess could have done it better. There must have been close to fifty people in all, and the procession was enough to halt the picketers in their tracks and stop their chanting, if only until everyone was safely inside.

  At the front desk, Renette and Marydell Crumpton had taken note of the oncoming flood and given Maura Beth a heads-up over the intercom. She soon emerged from her spacious corner office overlooking the lake—what an incredible contrast it was to that dark, claustrophobic closet she had toiled in before; then she rushed into the lobby to give James Hannigan the biggest hug she could muster as the group behind him began to disperse.

  “You sweet, lovable man,” she told him, the affection radiating from her eyes. “You’ve done your part and then some, haven’t you?”

  He drew back and waved her off. “Nah, it was nothing I haven’t done before for ya. Those people out there are way off base, and everyone in Cherico with half a brain knows it.”

  “I feel so vindicated,” she said. “Not that I needed to be. I like to think I’ve always been on the side of the angels. But Councilman Sparks was here earlier, and we went into my office and had the best chat we’ve ever had. It was like we had always been the best of friends, which was anything but the case. He told me how genuinely sorry he was for ever making life hard for me here in Cherico and that he was glad I had forced him to realize what a great resource the new library will always be to the town. I truly feel I’ve fulfilled my mission as a librarian.”

  “You are preaching to the choir,” he told her with a fatherly wink. “But I do wish there was some way we could get through to those people out there. And they call themselves a church. That’s not truly spiritual, what they’re doing out there.”

  “Oh, let them have their laughable moment. Councilman Sparks assured me once again this morning that I would continue to have my job come hell or high water. I don’t know about the hell part, but I have it on good authority that Lake Cherico never overflows.”

  * * *

  Maura Beth had been trying to track Jeremy down all morning. When he had not shown up at the library a good half hour after she had opened it up, she had texted him. Picking up milk and a loaf of bread couldn’t possibly take that long. He had replied that he had a surprise in the works for her and to give him a little more time to get things together. Then an hour or more passed. Connie and Douglas had browsed, checked out books, and then left; Councilman Sparks had come and gone; Voncille and Locke Linwood had put in an appearance, heading straight to the genealogy room; and James Hannigan had brought practically every Cherico Market customer of his out to the library; and still no Jeremy.

  His cell kept going to voice mail. She was beginning to worry that something out of the ordinary had happened. Had he been in another terrible accident of some kind? Oh, please, anything but that. He had flirted with death once during their courtship days in that freak encounter between his car and that frightened deer darting out in front on the Natchez Trace Parkway. So she nervously texted him again.

  Nuff surprise talk. Where r u?

  To her profound relief, he answered.

  On way with surprise.

  If it was more patrons for the library, it wouldn’t be much of a surprise. That was what everyone was supposed to be doing—dragging every relative, friend, and acquaintance who still had a pulse to the library to make a point to the picketers; and so far, the strategy had been a huge success. The building was overflowing with people taking advantage of everything the library had to offer them in the millennium; it was alive with patrons reading and learning and browsing and being a part of something that was the repository of their culture—past, present, and even suggesting the direction the future might take.

  Fifteen minutes later and not bothering to knock or have himself announced, Jeremy stuck his head in his wife’s office doorframe, looking slightly sheepish. “Sorry it took me so long.”

  “Where have you been? Did you drive all the way to Corinth and back to get those groceries?”

  “Nope, just hold on.”

  Then he pushed the door open, stepped aside, and in walked his sister, Elise, wearing her long blond hair parted down the middle as usual and a tie-dyed smock that echoed the hippie styles of late sixties San Francisco. The same sister who taught Women’s and Feminist Studies at the University of Evansville and had offended most of the McShay family with her unrelenting militant politics. The very same whom Maura Beth had had to plead with in a letter to attend her only brother’s wedding in Cherico last year. And the same who had insisted on a do-over when she had inadvertently caught the bridal bouquet Maura Beth had thrown because, as she had pointed out loudly to everyone at the reception right then and there, “I don’t approve of the institution of marriage, and this symbolizes it precisely.” Or something to that effect.

  “Annndd heeerrrre’s Leesie!” Jeremy said in imitation of the classic The Johnny Carson Show intro and the hand gestures of one of those corny game-show spokesmodels.

  “Hello, Maura Beth, it’s so good to see you again,” Elise said, moving across the room quickly with open arms to embrace her sister-in-law.

  “You were right, Jeremy, this is a surprise,” Maura Beth said after the hug, pulling away slightly with a smile. “And it’s good to see you, too. What brings you down to Che
rico? Don’t tell me you came all the way from Evansville to see my new library? That would be the highest of compliments to pay me, but it’s way beyond the call of duty. Please, have a seat and let’s have a nice chat.”

  Once they were all settled around the room, Elise took the lead, shaking her head emphatically. “First, I have to tell you how disturbing that scene is out in front of your library. Jeremy brought me up to date in the parking lot. Talk about your Neanderthals. I didn’t know people like that still existed. The knowledge-is-a-dangerous-thing crowd, I mean. The spirit of book burning is alive and well.”

  “Yes, it’s unfortunate. I’ve had to pinch myself sometimes to make myself believe it’s really happening,” Maura Beth told her. “But I can assure you, they will not get anywhere with their shenanigans. My job is secure.”

  “Thank goodness for that. We can’t let censorship win, or we’re dead as a society. Don’t get me started.” Elise paused, leaning forward in her chair with an earnest expression on her face. “Maura Beth, I hope you don’t mind my barging in like this, and please don’t blame Jer for all the sneaking around he had to do this morning. I didn’t give him much advance warning, I’m afraid.”

  “Was he sneaking around? I did think he was up to something, but he kept me in the loop. Sort of.” She gave her husband a coy glance.

  “I surprised Jer, too, just like I did when I showed up out of the blue for your wedding. Yesterday, I decided to drive down from Evansville to share some news with the two of you, and I wanted Jer to show me the way to your new library when I finally got here. He’s been waiting all morning for me to arrive so we could do that. Seems I’m always late for things.”

  Maura Beth settled back in her armchair, resting her hands comfortably in her lap. “Well, now that you’re finally here, what’s your news?”

  “First order of business is, I’ve taken a sabbatical from the university. A year off to accomplish something very important to me.”

  “That’s nice. Are you going to travel abroad or write a paper or book or something academic like that? Everyone needs a real vacation now and then. I think our honeymoon was the first one I’ve had in years.”

  Elise exchanged glances with her brother, and any objective observer could have seen that something of note was passing between them. “No, nothing like that.” There was a deep breath and then the payoff. “I’m pregnant.”

  Maura Beth sprang to life, her interest sparked. “Oh, my sincerest congratulations! Well, that makes two of us. I assume you got our text about our little one on the way? We couldn’t reach you over the phone last night. I guess you’d already left on your trip down. Looks like you and I will be producing first cousins for the McShay family. Won’t that be exciting?”

  “Yes, I certainly trust it will be. Actually, I did get your text on the way down, but I decided to wait and congratulate you both in person. So, here I am wishing you and Jer all the best.”

  “There’s more,” Jeremy added, sounding cryptic and impish at the same time.

  “I imagine so,” Maura Beth continued. “I didn’t even know you were seeing someone. Did you meet him at the university? Who’s the lucky guy?”

  “I don’t know who he is.” Elise’s reply brought the conversation to a dead halt for a good thirty seconds.

  Caught completely off guard, all Maura Beth could manage was a polite but forced, “Oh?”

  “It’s really very simple. I decided I wanted to have a child before I got too far into my thirties, but I definitely do not want to have a husband at any age. You both know how I feel about marriage.”

  Images of Elise holding that bridal bouquet at arm’s length as if it were day-old roadkill bubbled up from deep within Maura Beth’s scrapbook of wedding memories. “Yes, I remember that quite well.”

  “I know I’m keeping you in needless suspense with all this, but the fact is that I went to a sperm bank. It was all very impersonal, but it got the job done. There, I said it.”

  “I told you there was more,” Jeremy said, wagging his brows at Maura Beth. “Leave it to my sister not to do things by the book.”

  “You sound a bit disapproving in that tone of voice, Jer, or is it just my overactive imagination?”

  “No, not at all, Leesie. Sorry if I gave you that impression. We’re both grownups now. If this is what you really want, it’s perfectly fine with me. Just a hunch, but I’m assuming you haven’t told Mom and Dad yet about this? If you had, I know I would have heard from them long and loud by now.”

  “No, I haven’t. I was thinking maybe around Christmastime when we all get together. Of course, I’d be showing quite a bit by then, so I probably won’t have to tell them a thing. They’ll get the message when I walk through the door. Do you think they’ll have a fit when I tell them about the sperm bank? They’re so traditional about everything the way you are.”

  Jeremy thought for a while, shifting his eyes back and forth with the hint of a grin forming. “It might be better to give them some advance warning. But they’ve always wanted grandchildren from us, if that’s what you meant by traditional. Now it looks like they’ll be getting one each from both of us really close together. Maurie’ll be due about the same time you will, right?”

  “I’m about five weeks along, so I’d say yes.”

  Maura Beth put her hands atop her desk, assuming her most serious, director-of-the-library pose. “So. What a brave new world, huh? You plan to bring up this child all by yourself?”

  “Of course. I make very good money at the university. I have tenure, you know. I don’t see why a woman should be forced to choose between having a career and having children. She should be able to do both. Why does everyone bring that up for women but not for men?”

  “I didn’t mean to imply that a woman couldn’t.”

  “It seemed like you were.”

  “Believe me, Elise, I’m not the enemy.”

  Jeremy intervened before his sister reverted completely to her customary argumentative alter ego that had alienated so much of her family. “Leesie, you and I have had our political differences—we probably still do—but you need to understand that neither Maurie nor I will be judging you. I’ll just cut to the chase right now and prove it to you by asking what we can do to help you out. I’m assuming that’s why you came all this way to tell us. I mean, you could just as easily have done it over the phone. I know you too well.”

  Elise seemed to relax a bit, sounding placated. “That’s very perceptive of you, brother dear. Because I’ve decided I want to stay down here in Cherico throughout the pregnancy. I know it might shock you to hear it, but I think I’d like to be around at least some family while I’m going through this. I’m not a total lone wolf. Mom and Dad are out, of course. I just couldn’t tough it out up there with them in Brentwood with all their friends nosing around. So, believe it or not, I’d very much like my baby to be born right here.”

  “Wow! I’d be lying if I said that doesn’t surprise me just a little bit,” Jeremy said. “So you’d like to spend most of your sabbatical down here instead of up in Evansville where all your friends are? Cherico’s just a very small town, you know. The medical facilities might be a lot better up there when the time comes. Have you thought about that?”

  Elise made a dismissive gesture with a broad sweep of her hand. “Yes, I’ve thought about it a great deal, of course. I didn’t just decide to do this on the spur of the moment, Jer. I’ve concluded that delivering a baby is just about the same everywhere. I mean, it’s not like I’ll have to use a midwife who’ll have to chew off the umbilical cord with her teeth.”

  “I’ll try very hard to get that image out of my head,” Maura Beth said, clutching a hand to her belly reflexively.

  “I was hoping you and Jeremy could help me find a place to rent for the next year,” Elise continued. “It doesn’t have to be much, but I’ve already sublet my apartment up in Evansville.”

  Jeremy’s puzzled tone seemed genuine enough. “Come on, now. We do
n’t have to look very far, Leesie. Honestly, Aunt Connie and Uncle Doug live right next door to the library. They’ve got two guest rooms upstairs in the lodge within walking distance of here. That’s my first suggestion, and since you’re family, they might not even want to charge you.”

  “I’d absolutely insist on paying them something. That is, if they’d consider taking me in.”

  Jeremy couldn’t repress a chuckle. “For heaven’s sake, Leesie, you make yourself sound like some forlorn character out of Charles Dickens. Sorry for the literary reference, but you’re not an orphan all alone in the world. This tactic is unworthy of a tenured professor.”

  Elise’s reaction was a cross between a wince and a smile. “It’s just that I know I’ve annoyed the family more than once with my sociological views. I’m wondering if Aunt Connie and Uncle Doug will hold that against me. I did carry on quite a bit at your wedding right in front of them in their house. Sometimes I just can’t seem to help myself.”

  Then Maura Beth spoke up. “You’re exaggerating, Elise. I think most people thought it was kinda funny—the bit about you and the bouquet, I mean. But I really can’t see your aunt and uncle rejecting you. They generously donated the land this library is standing on so the town of Cherico wouldn’t incur extra costs, and it got the ball rolling much sooner on construction. I certainly didn’t ask them to do that. They came up with the idea on their own. Maybe it’s been a while since you’ve had any substantial contact with them, but I think you might be surprised at their reaction if you approached them. I agree with Jeremy. They’re your first option.”

  “Leesie, we have a guest room at our house on Painter Street we’d be happy to offer you, but we’ll be converting it to a nursery for the baby soon,” Jeremy added. “Otherwise—”

  Elise and Maura Beth both laughed simultaneously, and it was Elise who enlightened her bewildered-looking brother. “Two pregnant women in the same house? Do you have any idea of the raging river of hormones you’d be dealing with? Actually, it’ll be more like a waterfall, or so I’ve read. I just had this hilarious image of you flailing your arms and screaming while being swept over in a barrel.”