Group Hex Vol 1

by Andrew Robertson

  Her eyes continued to stare at me, begging me to stop. I wanted to stop so very much. She tried to fight me off, but nothing could loosen my grip after all I’d been through.

  Eventually, her beautiful eyes glazed over and her arms fell to her side. She felt like a bag of raw meat. I lay her on the ground, but I kept squeezing her neck. I wasn’t going to take any chances.

  “She’s dead.”

  I think she was Japanese, but I’m not sure. I was still covered in tears. “Tell me it wasn’t really her.”

  The wheelchair moved around so the girl could face me. “I won’t tell you any such thing.”

  “What?”

  “Go into the lighthouse.” She rolled into the door that Marla had come out of.

  I looked down. Marla’s body was gone.

  Her lips had felt so soft on mine. I had to believe I’d done the right thing, and I followed the girl into the lighthouse.

  There was an auditorium inside. I’d long ago given up any pretence at trying to understand how things worked here, so I just accepted that more than a thousand wheelchairs were all lined up with a thousand faces staring down at me. Maybe ten thousand. Or a million.

  Behind me, on a table lay my Marla. There were no marks on her neck. She wore her peach wedding dress.

  “Do not go to her. She is sleeping.”

  I turned back to the crowd. None of them had spoken; all of them had spoken.

  “I need to take her back. She doesn’t belong here.”

  Their voice was in my mind. “You’ve completed the first two challenges. Now the third waits for you.”

  “Just tell me what the fuck it is and let us go!”

  A short pause. One of the wheelchairs came forward. In the chair was my mother. She’d died of Alzheimer’s disease a decade before my suicide.

  “Andy, this isn’t easy.”

  “My God . . . Mom?” I went to her and hugged her. The last time I saw her was in the hospital and she had no idea who I was.

  “You have a decision to make, son.”

  “Mom, what is this place?”

  “It just is. We may be able to chat later. Now you need to make your choice.”

  I stood back from her. Her dark eyes were as clear as they were when I was a teenager. She nodded as if listening to me tell her my grades.

  “You can’t both go back. Only you or only her. You need to decide which it’ll be.”

  I turned to face Marla, moved a couple of steps toward her. She looked at peace. After all this time, we couldn’t be together?

  “That’s not right,” I said.

  A murmur of laughter came from the people behind Mom.

  “You should go back, son. Look at her. She’s already dead and doesn’t know you’ve come for her. She’ll wake in her own wheelchair and she’ll fit right in. You should just go back. Go live your own life.”

  “I need to help her.”

  I looked around. If one of us had to stay with the dead . . .

  “It won’t work that way, son,” Mom said. She reached out a hand and touched my arm. “You interfered. If you stay, you won’t be with us. You’ll be in an endless mist alone forever.”

  “What?”

  “Exiled. For all eternity. No chair for you.”

  Marla’s hand was cold, but I loved holding it anyhow. She was what I had wanted my whole life. Would she forgive me in time if I left her dead? My Marla . . .

  I stared into her face forever, touched her cold cheeks and put my hand on her breast for the last time.

  When I turned back to my mother and told her my decision, my voice cracked.

  We were just getting changed into casual clothes to go down for one last dance before . . . well, before my fantasies would end and I would make love to her for the first time as my wife.

  “Probably Janice,” said Marla. “Not sure what she’d want, though.”

  Marla’s sister was the only person who knew our hotel room number. I nodded, but inside me I felt panic. Something was very wrong.

  “Marla, no!” I grabbed one of our emerald-colored knives and ran toward her.

  Marla had flipped the lock on the door and pulled it open. I heard her gasp and turned to see her try to push the door closed. “Ricky? No, it can’t be -- ”

  I jumped and pushed her aside as the gun exploded and my guts fell out all around me. I gasped as I slammed the knife into Ricky’s chest, and then I had no energy. I fell to the floor.

  “ANDY!! NO!”

  Marla was lifting my head from the floor and screaming. I tried to touch her face one last time, but I couldn’t lift my arm. I couldn’t even say good-bye. A strange purple haze seemed to roll through the room, taking me away from my Marla.

  I smiled, not knowing why.

  THE APPLE

  Shebat Legion

  I put some green in the whatsit and it makes a whirring sound. Adding some of the other stuff, I yawn as I watch it blend and bubble. My boyo Tommybobby brought me minty leaves he found outside, and I add one in. This is going to taste delicious. I hope.

  “Guess what I found?” Tommybobby says when he comes in from where he was, his hands behind his back.

  I yawn again and shrug, pretending I don’t care.

  “Oh, don’t even,” he laughs, all happy and tongue out. “I know you want to know.”

  He’s right of course, I do want to know. Tommybobby is one of the best scavengers I have ever met. But it is first light and I am not a first light kind of girlie.

  “You want me to guess, I am guessing.”

  Tommybobby smiles. “Yes, you get three.”

  Tommybobby is a pretty boyo, hardly any sores or warts and most of his parts are in the right places. He has the bluest eye I’ve ever seen.

  I just sort of stand there. I’m sure I have that look I always have at first light. I have hair and it’s always messy when I wake up. Tommybobby says it makes me look delicious.

  “Wellhey?” He says and I sigh inwardly. Turning the whatsit off, I grab a holder, pour the stuff, and take a sip. I pucker up and my eyes pinch shut at the taste. Too much green and maybe the leaf wasn’t the best idea.

  “Jennysally.” He makes the last half of my name one long “eeeeee” sound and I force another sip, trying to wake up enough to play.

  “Okay. Is it alive?” I mumble as I chew on some bits of minty leaf.

  I can feel Tommybobbie’s face brighten, even with my back turned.

  “No!” He pants in that way he has. “Two more.”

  “Want some stuff?” I reach for another holder, thinking and stalling.

  “No, I’m cold.” His ears are all flip floppy and perk. “Wellso? Guess!”

  I turn around and can’t help smile a little, he is just too crawly. “Okay. Did it used to be alive?”

  “You think with your mouth,” he says and he is too right. But Tommybobby has a way of finding dead things that makes me the envy of everybody. They say he can find things that can’t be found and it’s true. Girlies rub up on him but he does nothing about that.

  “No!” He laughs and his hands are still behind his back so I play along and snatch at his arm. He pulls away, snorting. “Nuh. Third guess.”

  Even standing I have to look up at him, balancing on my good foot; he’s so tall. His eye is sparkling. Whatever he has must be good.

  “Where did you find it?” That answer might give me some clue. “Were you scouting in the blank place again?”

  And he may have been, he is brave like that. Me, I would never go. I don’t even want to look.

  “Nuh.” He shakes his head and laughs again. Something makes a noise when he does.

  “What is that?” I reach but he pulls away again.

  “Third guess!”

  It’s too early for this but its love that I even try.

  “Burny crap?” It’s the best I can do after only one holder of stuff. I’m kind of hoping it is burny crap. We need some.

  “Nuh!” He sort of hops up and down
and puts his hands in front of him and lets me see.

  “Oh,” I say, and I can’t help but be downlow. It’s another kid thing. A something that has lots of colors and it is sort of round. We can’t eat it and we can’t burn it but Tommybobby, he likes his kid things. We have a whole bunch of them.

  “Wellhey.” He bends over to look into my face and I know what he’s thinking with this kid thing. And maybe he’s right. I have been very tired and maybe I am growing another pup and just maybe this one will stay alive. Mostly they don’t and then it’s off to MissMolly and then we have stew.

  “Hey?” Tommybobby says all gentle and I know he is wishing but maybe I just can’t make one that stays breathing like that bitch, Cindymindy. She has three, for fug’s sake. Then again, they all have tails.

  I kind of hunch over while he is playing with the kid thing and I am watching and I am thinking.

  “Heyo,” I say finally and he looks up at me. “Maybe I just can’t. You know?” I look down at my holder.

  He stops playing and stands close and I breath him right in. “Heyo,” he says gently. “Nuh. Nuh. If you can’t, you can’t.”

  I whirl away from him and pour another holder of stuff. “Lookyou,” I say. “All this kid stuff? I know. Okay? Don’t.”

  “So?” he shouts and I turn fast cuz Tommybobby doesn’t yell. “So?” He’s yelling and I’m standing with my mouth open but it’s not me he’s yelling at.

  I look at what he’s looking at and it’s my ex boyo standing at the mouth of the cave. This won’t be good.

  My ex, Briandanny, is a complete hole and what I ever saw in him, I don’t know. He was never happy to see me move in with Tommybobby and says it when we see him but he has never once come here to say it.

  “What do you say, Briandanny?” Tommybobby is making a growling sound that is both scary and sexy and makes me feel pink.

  “Heyuh?” Briandanny is holding both of his hands out in a “don’t eat me” gesture. I have to respect it, even though I always thought his leg meats would go good with dumplings.

  “Whata?” Tommybobby growls and I touch his arm and feel warm.

  See, Briandanny was my first sex thing and it wasn’t great. He has boy and girl parts and I was never sure what to do with the boy parts to begin with, let alone the other thing. I put a bottle in it once, just to see if I could, and it slid in just like that. He never stopped griefing me about it either.

  “There is a meeting at the town place, just wanting to say.”

  Both Tommybobby and I sort of stare because we don’t have meetings at the town place unless it is a kill thing or a who did something.

  “A meeting?” I say, confused.

  “Yuh!” Briandanny says with excitement and I can see he isn’t thinking about the bottle thing and Tommybobby isn’t thinking anymore about hurting Briandanny. I think.

  “Huh!” Tommybobby says and he grabs my arm.

  I almost fall over but hook a claw into his arm so I don’t. “Masks, get em!”

  And he’s still glaring at Briandanny but yuh, you can see it, nothing will happen. Even so, I sniff to make sure before I go. Tommybobby pats me and then I see Briandanny glaring and I think how stupid boyos are.

  I grab both masks and we follow Briandanny out of the cave and down the steps and through the digging part and past farm and by then, I see others like us. Some are wearing masks and others, like dumbass Briandanny, are not wearing masks. And that’s just stupid but I can’t change the world.

  We get to the town place which is an actual house that people live in. We let Davidbenny and his girlie Barbyjan live in it because they can read bookish, and we made farm because the book told us how. Farm doesn’t grow much except for mushrooms but they are tasty unless they kill you.

  People are standing or sitting and we find a place, Tommybobby and I. Briandanny looked as if he was going to squat beside us until Tombobby gave him a look out of that eye of his that would have killed Briandanny if things worked like that.

  I sit there beside my boyo and lean on him, feeling kind of sick. Maybe I am growing a pup or maybe it was the leaf I drank. I am not sure but Tommybobby is pretty good at what he finds; like I said, he is the best scavenger I ever met. I touch my stomach. Maybe? Thing is, I don’t really want another one although I have never told Tommybobby this. I have had three now and each time it was harder to take it to MissMolly. I kept the last one ‘til it was almost spoiled and she gave me hellfire about it too.

  Seems like almost everybody did at the time; except for Tommybobby, who just let me pretend and let me keep it for as long as I needed to, even with it smelling bad.

  I look over to where Cindymindy is sitting with her three. Tails or no tails, they look pretty crawly to me and I feel all downlow. Tommybobby puts an arm around me and holds me close and I breathe, just breathe.

  There’s a buzzy sound and we all look at Davidbenny as he walks to the ledge thing he calls a porch. “Listen!” He calls out and his girlie Barbiejan crawls out to crouch beside him. She is posh for all she doesn’t have much in the way of bones and is kind of sloshy. And I really am trying to pay attention because we don’t have meetings usually, but I keep looking at Cindymindy’s pups, with them all holding onto each other’s tails and I’m thinking how maybe I do want one after all.

  Tommybobby always knows what I’m thinking and he gives me a squeeze and a lick on the cheek.

  “Listen,” Davidbenny says again, “I found a book thing and it’s something we all should know.”

  Oh. Another book thing. Well, it’s not like book things aren’t important because we find out stuff this way, but I’m tired and didn’t have first food and my stomach is making sounds.

  I tune out and just rest against Tommybobby, knowing he will tell me what the book thing is about later, but he gives me a little shake and keeps nodding his chin at Davidbenny. I know he wants me to listen, so I do.

  “Barbiejan and I have read this over and over about these things called,” he spells it out, “Vit a mins.”

  I look at Tommybobby but I can see he is listening really careful as both of his ears are turned sharply toward Davidbenny.

  Davidbenny says, “These Vitamins are important things and we need to find them. I know too many of you are losing pups and it says in the book thing that all girlies need to be eating them.” He frowns. “Well, swallowing them or drinking them.”

  Someone calls out, “Where we get these vit things?”

  Barbiejan speaks up from where she is all sloshed, “We find them in stores.”

  There is a quiet, of course there is. These stores are past the blank place and nobody ever goes there anymore, masks or no masks. The few who have made it back don’t live long and you can’t eat them they are so sored up.

  A few from the crowd get up and leave. I want to but Tommybobby holds me in place.

  “It says these vitamins will help us grow healthywise. And for girlies, helps them grow healthy pups.” Davidbenny is raising his voice now and you can tell he means what he says, but what are we supposed to do about that? We can’t go to stores. I turn my head to say as much to Tommybobby and freeze when I see the look in his eye. I can smell what he is thinking.

  “Nuh!” I nudge him hard. “You don’t think about it! Nuh!”

  There is more stuff about how to get to the stores and wearing some stuff and better masks but I am shaking hard because I can see Tommybobby nodding like a hole and I want to hit him or hug him or drag him home to the cave and tie him up because I know he is thinking about trying it. I know he is!

  “Just one of these vitamins a day, even if it’s just for the girlies … “

  And Davidbenny and Barbiejan are still talking and Tommybobby is still nodding and I can’t feel my hands and my hair hurts and I realize I have been grabbing on to it and twisting. I pant and send it into Tommybobby and he looks at me.

  Tommybobby is quiet as we head home, he doesn’t even say anything to Briandanny who keeps looking a
t me that way and sniffing.

  In the cave, I am shaking Tommybobby and he is not saying anything but smiling at me the way he knows how. We have sex and I cry but I know he is leaving anyway.

  I tell him I don’t have a pup growing but he pats my stomach and he pets my hair and, come first light, I don’t have to even wake up to know he’s gone. He left his new kid thing beside me and I scream and go to throw it but then I don’t. I hug it instead.

  He is the best scavenger I know. This is what I tell myself as my stomach gets bigger. Tommybobby is the best scavenger I know.

  TRICK OF THE LIGHT

  Sèphera Girón

  Daniel bust awake, his heart slamming against his chest as he struggled to sit up. Sharp pains in his wrists and ankles stopped him short in his lurch as his arms were yanked back. He stared up at his hands shackled through the bed rails, his eyes groggily focusing while his face throbbed achingly with his pulse. A sense of déjà vu gripped him.

  Looking down at himself, he was naked; no bedclothes, his ankles shackled to the steel footing of the bed. His body was bruised and fresh welts peppered his legs and smooth firm torso. Moonlight illuminated the room, boosted by the flashing neon sign just under the window. Peeling wallpaper, a dishevelled dresser, a closet with a broken door hanging from its hinges surrounded him, a thick chemical smell in his nostrils barely masking stale urine and sex. The buzzing of the sign outside irritated him but there was nothing he could do.

  A darkened room, intense moments of passion, relentless slaps and punches against his flesh, pleasure gripped him while pain raged through him; flashes of shadowy images churned in his mind.

  What happened?

  It had all been going so well.

  Hadn’t it?

  He closed his eyes and visions of her soft velvet lips and ringlets of golden blonde hair flickered by like a slide show. Her gleaming blue eyes engaged him with lust and fear in a passion so intense that he quivered to dream of her again. But the visions continued on as his mind shuffled through the past.