by Rutter, M J
After leaving his impeccably clean house, I had a sandwich for my lunch and meandered around the house. I saw him leave and wondered if he was going to meet someone. He had to have a girlfriend, he was movie star gorgeous, someone had to have snapped him up. I no longer thought of him as Mr. Bad Mood, he was Kaden and his body, his lips, his smile, his eyes, who am I kidding? Everything about him intrigued the hell out of me.
I tried to find something to do, to take my mind of wondering where he was and who he was with, but I failed, so resorted in taking my book to the beach. Lost in the world of twisted love and messed up characters, the afternoon flew by, as did the early evening and not even Misty sat quietly beside me, or the darkness surrounding us, could pull me out of that book. It was either read and lose myself or go crazy trying to figure out a way to talk to Kaden.
Justin, the main guy in the romance had just caught his fiancé Sasha, with his best friend Dax. They were having sex in her car outside of their house and he was furious. Dax and Justin were about to fight when footsteps in the sand crept up behind me, I was grateful for the darkness, so he couldn’t see my blush.
“Are you alright?” he asked softly, rather than look at him I looked at the ocean.
“Yes,” I replied.
“It’s just that you have been sat here a long time, and um…”
“It’s a free beach,” I snapped, “I can sit here all day and night if I want to.” Why was I being a bitch? He was genuinely concerned, I could have kicked myself.
Taken aback by my sharpness, he paused before muttering, “I know that, sorry I bothered you.” He went to walk away.
“You didn’t bother me and please stop apologising. You pity me because of Jay, thanks but, I don’t need any more sympathy, he is gone and no amount of grieving will bring him back.” I retorted angrily.
“That being said though, I think anyone who loses a loved one is allowed as much time to grieve for them as they need.” I turned her head and looked at him. Even in the darkness I could see how blue his eyes were. “Mind if I join you?” he asked.
I shrugged and nodded, “Like I said, it’s a free beach.” He sat beside me. “Can’t you sleep?” I asked after a few awkward moments.
“I have always had trouble sleeping,” He replied. “That’s why I nap during the day to catch up.”
“Have you spoken to a doctor about it?” I asked.
“I’ll get my eight hours, eventually,” he sighed as he stretched his white legs out in front of him. They were white, but wow, they were gorgeous. Perfect shape, only a few dark brown hairs hover them and his feet were amazing. Why did men have such amazing feet as if that had just had a pedicure?
“I thought my legs were white,” just sort of fell out of my mouth, I did that a lot, said what I thought before thinking about it. That is what triggered the fight off with Jay the night he died.
“They are glowing,” he snickered and it made me giggle nervously.
“Maybe you should wear shorts more often, let the sun hit those lily whites,” I jested unable to take my eyes away from them. He laughed and we talked about the trash I liked to read, well I wasn’t getting sex in any shape or form, so all I had was bookshelves filled with smutty books that would make a nun’s hair curl. I decided it was time to go inside, I already made myself look an idiot and the sooner I got away from him, the better. But as I stood my legs gave way and I stumbled into his arms, he caught me and set my heart on fire, that’s the only way I could describe it.
He walked with me to my door and even hurried back for my book, that’s when I decided I would really love to talk to him more and not come across as a mumbling idiot. I also skipped for joy when he accepted my invitation. It wasn’t a date, just neighbors enjoying dinner together.
I woke early, the sun shone brightly through the voile over my door and a warm breeze blew across my body. It took me ages to fall asleep, I couldn’t get him out of my head. In the three years since Jay’s death I had never met anyone who had affected me this way and it scared me. I got up and pulled on my white sun dress so I could take Misty out for a walk along the beach. After a splash of water over my face and brushing my teeth, I lifted her leash and led her out through the French doors.
The turquoise ocean seemed bluer than ever before and there wasn’t a cloud in the sky. I walked her towards the cove, she wasn’t on her leash, but I took it for her own safety really. Because she wasn’t very big and she liked the sound of her own bark, it got her into a lot of trouble with other dogs, so I took her leash whenever we walked along the beach in case I need to restrain her before something happened.
The cove was deserted and she was able to run around and chase the seagulls, obviously we were early, but it was nice to watch her play. The I realised how sad I was, surely, walking Misty could not be the highlight of my day.
I walked her back to the house and noticed that Kaden was sat on his decking under his umbrella eating. I had no idea of what to do, did I speak to him and risk coming across as needy? Did I ignore him or pretend I hadn’t seen him? I lowered my head and hurried up the piece of sand between our houses.
“Morning,” he called out.
“Morning,” I replied with a cringe, “got to feed Misty, I’ll see you later.” I added and hurried inside without so much as looking at him.
I showered and dressed and left Misty at home heading towards town. I wanted something new to wear for my night out. I just hoped the walk had tired her out enough not to upset Kaden by barking the whole time I was away from the house.
Shelly’s in town always catered to my needs usually, but I didn’t want to buy something that someone else could wear, so headed towards the outskirts of town. The plaza had a few boutiques and I found a little one of a kind number for three hundred dollars. It was a light, sky blue dress of lace of cotton of the same color with short sleeves and I even found a purse to match. Why I felt the need to dress up was beyond my wildest, still the excitement that I was going out, which I hadn’t done since Jay’s death, fluttered around in my nervous stomach all afternoon. I couldn’t relax, not even my book could tear my mind away from going to dinner with Kaden.
I showered again and straightened my hair, I put on a little makeup and slipped my feet into my white sandals. I sprayed perfume all over me and gazed at my reflection. I wasn’t entirely sure that the color suited me, especially with my hair and skin tone, my freckles had spread all over my face and chest, my cheeks glowed red and I felt completely over-dressed. I tore the dress off over my head and tossed it onto the floor, found my jeans and a white shirt and put them on.
As I came out of my room there was a gentle knock on the door, Misty barked once and ran towards the door. I told her to settle down and pulled it open, Kaden frowned,
“Skylar, look um… I don’t think tonight will be such a good idea.” He said, I swallowed and nodded numbly, “It’s just I have things going on in my life and you are too good to get messed around by an asshole like me.” He continued. I still couldn’t speak, my throat began to strain with emotion.
“It uh, it was just a meal, Kaden.” I managed finally.
“I know, but I think you want it to be more and I can’t offer you anything. I shouldn’t have agreed to go and I am sorry I have to let you down, but believe me, better now than further down the line. I am a dick, you know it, I know it and its fine, I can live with that.” He turned to walk away.
“Thanks for letting me know,” I frowned and slammed the door shut. “Dick,” I snapped.
Crushed and rejected, I hurried into the living room and lifted my phone. I pressed dial on my phone to call the Phys. Ed teacher, Keith Stopple, from school.
He had been hounding me for weeks, I wanted Kaden to see he hadn’t upset me, that I wasn’t a complete loser and I could have a guy. I didn’t like Keith, though he was good looking with a perfect body and everything, but what the looks and body couldn’t make up for was his lack in personality.
He answered a
fter only one ring, “Skylar?”
“Yeah, Keith, it’s me, what are you doing tonight?” I asked bravely.
“Nothing much, you wanna hook up?” he asked. I closed my eyes and nodded.
“Yes, let’s do something, okay, can you pick me up?”
“In thirty minutes,” he answered, “we’ll hit that bar in Canton if you want.”
“Great, I want to get trashed.” I smiled slightly, he’d be a lot more tolerable if I was drunk.
As I waited I poured myself a glass of wine and sat on my deck waiting for Keith to get there. I could see Kaden, pacing the living room, up and down. Gazing out of the window at my house, though he couldn’t see me, I was sat in complete darkness, but I could see him, he looked angry and upset. I almost called out to him, almost, something distracted him and he raced back through the house. My doorbell rang and my heart leapt, had he changed his mind? I set my glass down on the counter and hurried to the door.
When I pulled it open I came face to face with the blond haired, brown eyed Keith. He grinned stupidly,
“Hey,” he said.
“Hey, I’ll just get my purse.” Misty followed me to the door as I lifted my keys. “Go to bed,” I told her and closed the door.
As I followed Keith to his car I caught a glimpse of Kaden watching us from his front window. I lifted my head adamantly and continued toward the car as Keith explained how excited he was to finally hear from me. I was already regretting calling him.
He drove us toward the town of Canton about fifteen minute or so from my house, talked endlessly about his new gym at his house and how he had just booked a couple of weeks away in Florida. The idea of getting away from it all appealed to me, but not as much as wishing that night was over so that I could forget about Keith and Kaden and enjoy the rest of the summer alone, just as I had set out to do.
The club was packed with revellers. The music bounced of the neon lit walls and the noise thudded through my body. I thought that maybe once I got to know Keith he wouldn’t be that bad, how wrong could I be? He had the looks, there was no doubt about that, but his looks were all he had and I found it incredibly difficult to hold a conversation with him.
“So, what made you finally admit you are attracted to me?” he asked and swigged at his beer.
“I never said that I was, I just thought I would give you the benefit of the doubt and at least go for a drink with you.”
“You don’t have to act like the second grade teacher here, we’re on vacation, I know you want me, you must be so up for it… when was the last time you had sex?”
Oh, how I wanted to smack him in the mouth, “That is none of your business.” I stiffened.
“Come on, Miss. Reynolds, I know how you teachers admire the ‘eye candy’ whenever I walk into the room.” He bragged. All it did was make me wish I had stayed at home.
I drank my drink and drained the glass and watched as he got me another and another. The more I drank, the more nothing he said bothered me. When I said I wanted to get trashed and forget everything, that’s exactly what I did. Up to a point.
He drove me home and walked me to my door,
“We should do that again,” he said as I staggered up my path, “you wanna go out tomorrow night?”
“No, I am pretty sure I am going to spend the day in bed tomorrow,” I admitted.
“I’ll call you, I bet I can make you change your mind.” He grinned as I stopped at my door. “So, do I get a kiss goodnight?” he asked.
As drunk as I was, I didn’t want to kiss his mouth, so I leaned in and pecked his cheek, he turned his face to meet my mouth and pushed his tongue inside. I tried to push him back, but he was too strong and as he pushed his hand inside my shirt and groped my breast roughly, I forced him away.
“What do you think you are doing?” I demanded.
“You want me, I don’t mind.” He kissed me roughly again and I pushed him off.
“No I do not, let me go,” I ordered.
“Come on, Skylar, I know you want it.”
“I think you should go,” I snapped.
“Not until you give me what I want, I earned it.” He pushed me against my front door and pulled my shirt open.
“Keith, stop,” I cried out as he kissed my neck and groped at my now aching breasts.
“You heard her,” a voice barked.
“Who are you?” Keith asked.
“It doesn’t matter who I am, the lady said no and she means no, got it?” Kaden stepped forward into the porch light, wearing nothing but his shorts hanging loosely on his hips. I wanted to die, I had never felt so embarrassed before.
“You obviously don’t know her very well, Skylar is no lady, she just an uptight tease who needs to be taught a lesson.” Keith growled pushing his groin against me. I was pinned to my front door.
“I suggest you back away from her now and I’ll let you walk away, if you don’t, I will make you.”
“I’d like to see you try,” Keith smirked and looked at me, “trust me, man, she’s just a slut…” Kaden grabbed hold of him and pulled him away from me. Swinging him around, I clutched my shirt over my body and lifted my purse from the ground.
“Call her a slut again and you will be drinking food through a straw for weeks,” Kaden threatened.
Keith smirked and looked at me, “Tell your guard dog to let me go,” he growled. Kaden stepped back from him and Keith straightened his shirt. “Spend all your money on a girl to have her use you all damn night,” he grumbled as he went to walk away, “Don’t you call me again, frigid bitch!” he added,
WHAM!
Kaden hit him, he fell into my bushes and staggered to stand.
“I warned you, keep your mouth shut; now, get the hell out of here.” Keith said nothing and hurried away, scurrying to his car. I felt so stupid.
“Are you okay?” Kaden asked as Keith’s car roared up the highway.
“Yes,” I sniffed. “Thank you. I have no idea why he thought he could do that to me.”
“Well, if you go out with assholes like that, you have to expect them to treat you like shit.” He grumbled and walked away.
He thought I asked for it, maybe I did, I knew one thing though, I would never allow a man near me again.
Six
Kaden
Why did I agree to go on a stupid date? I know she said it wasn’t a date, but a guy and a girl going out for dinner, it is usually considered a date. I paced my living room all damn day, I could have kicked myself, all I had to do was say no, but she is so damn pretty and with the sea breeze blowing through her hair like that, I found her impossible to resist.
I watched her leave the house with a spring in her step, she looked sensational and I was going to hurt her, she didn’t deserve that, no one did. I waited for her to get back and watched as she almost skipped inside with bags of shopping.
I showered and shaved, changed into clean jeans and a white shirt. As I brushed my teeth my hands began to shake again, so bad that I dropped my toothbrush. What if that happened while we were eating? What if she thought I was drunk again. No, no, I could not go through with this, I had to tell her that I had made a mistake.
I had it all in my head, everything I wanted to say and instead I acted like a dick and let her down with a bump. The hurt and humiliation registered in her eyes instantly, I did that, just by a few words I had knocked all of her confidence out of her and I was amazed at how surprised I was to see her leave shortly after I stood her up with another guy.
He looked an ass-wipe if I am honest. Checking his looks in the mirror before getting out of his car, then after knocking on the door he breathed into his cupped hand to check his breath. I expected he felt lucky, any guy who had to chance to take her out would feel like that. She was an exceptional woman and watching her leave with him didn’t sit well at all.
I tried to watch TV, but in truth, I watched the clock more. A little after eleven I decided to take a swim, I thought it would clear my head. I thought t
hat the cool water rushing against my body would rinse her out of my soul, but it didn’t and like a big brother waiting for his younger sister to get home after her first date, I waited for her. Sat on my porch in the dark, listening to the waves and Misty crying in the darkness of the house, I waited for her. Twiddling my thumbs, jigging my knee up and down, I sat and waited and waited. Just after one in the morning, the gold beams of his car’s headlights pierced the darkness.
I sat up in my seat when he walked around the car and helped her out. She was drunk and giggling, she was silly drunk and people who are silly drunk do stupid things. I was right to be concerned, I stood when I heard the struggle and in seconds I found myself standing behind them as he pushed her against the front door. He was rubbing his hands all over her body, and when he pulled open her shirt, I clenched my hands into a fist.
No man should ever use bad language in front of a lady, that was how I was raised, so to hear him insult her like that, it only made me want to hit him harder. When he insulted her again before turning to leave, I couldn’t stop myself. My fist met the side of his face with a nauseating crunch and I know I either broke my hand or I broke his face, I ordered him away and turned back to her.
Her mascara had smudge around her eyes and her lipstick was smeared over the side of her face. She clutched her shirt over her breasts and I could see she was shaking, I should have hugged her, or at least made sure she got inside okay, but no, ‘dick mode’ got in the way and to add insult to injury I blamed her. Why?
I didn’t sleep well at all, I thought about her feeling shitty because I made her experience worse, because I allowed my mouth to run away with me. If only I had taken her out, had that stupid lobster meal, if only I didn’t have MS rotting my body away, if only I could have told her that she drove me crazy and I couldn’t stop thinking about her, day and night. There, I admit it, I was hooked and I shouldn’t have been, but I couldn’t help how I felt.