Mr. H.O.A.

by Carina Taylor

  She'd refused to let me see the dress she'd picked out. When I tried to tell her it was only a 'vow renewal', she gave me the silent treatment for an entire hour. Apparently my joke was in poor taste. I didn't blame her. I'd been counting down the days to this moment. Three weeks.

  I'd been staying at Darla's for three weeks. That was where I'd ran to when I fled the house. Darla welcomed me with opened arms and a big lunch.

  Darla sat in the front row next to my own parents. Darla wept openly. My mom was beaming and even my dad looked a little tearful.

  Then Nola moved out of the sun. Moving to where I could see her. She wore a floor length cream dress. Only one shoulder strap. I'm sure she had a specific name for the style, but I didn't know what it was. All I knew was that I was the luckiest guy on earth. She was beaming at me, and I had to fight the urge to run down our small makeshift aisle.

  Sebastian led her to stand in front of me. He leaned over and kissed her temple, then went to sit next to her mother.

  I stepped toward Nola, grasping her hands in mine.

  "Are you ready for this, Mr. Bartholomew Fox?" she asked with a lopsided smile.

  "Never more ready for anything in my entire life."

  EPILOGUE

  A note from the Homeowners Association’s former president:

  Bartholomew Fox.

  I have taken the liberty of eradicating 157 irrelevant HOA rules.

  And I resign.

  "Your underwear is still in the living room!" Bane yelled from the kitchen. I hurried and pulled on a pair of jeans and ran to the living room, gathering up all my underwear. "Your parents will be here any minute for brunch."

  "I know, I know," I grumbled.

  "Not that I mind the view, but I think your dad has handled all the embarrassment he can take."

  I dashed down the hall and tossed the underwear on our bed.

  "You know I love embarrassing him," I called. I spun around and narrowly avoided colliding with Bane's solid chest. He held the coffee cup out to the side.

  "Close one." He grinned and passed the steaming mug to me.

  "You know, your attractiveness grows every time you make me coffee."

  He raised his eyebrows. "I should be smokin' hot by now. I've made you coffee at least a hundred times now."

  "I know." I smiled and leaned up on my tiptoes to press a kiss on my husband's lips. "That's why I love you."

  He swiped at a fake tear. "You know, I'm beginning to feel a little used by you."

  "What can I do to make it better?"

  Bane smirked, grabbed the coffee cup from my hand and set it down on the dresser beside us.

  His hand landed on my hip, tugging me tight against him. "I can think of a few things."

  He dipped his head and kissed the side of my neck below my ear. I sighed and melted against him. His hand slid up my back to grasp my neck, the other reaching down to my hip.

  "Hello!" A voice called loudly.

  Bane groaned and pulled back. "Couldn't we move our Saturday brunches with your parents to later than nine? 9 a.m. is not brunch. It’s breakfast."

  "My poor Bane." I patted his cheek. "Mr. HOA just can't catch a break."

  "You're right about that. Carol texted me already this morning. She wants to know when we're going to add a cat park to the community space."

  "Don’t worry, we’ll make sure Dad gets voted in as the next HOA president."

  I tugged on Bane's hand, and he reluctantly followed me down the hall toward the kitchen. Jan had moved to Corvallis so that she could live close to her son who lived in the freshman dorms at Oregon State University.

  She happily sold the house to Bane and me. Turns out, he wasn't joking about paying for things with cash. He legit wrote Jan a check for the entirety of the house. I nearly choked on my tongue when that happened.

  Luckily, we happened to know a decent real estate agent who dropped his regular fee. He opted for a kiss from me. And he remained the president of the HOA.

  Dad didn't think it was necessary to explain things to the neighborhood since Bane had only been living in his father-in-law's house.

  And now that Mom was home from her trip? We'd established a weekly nine o'clock brunch at our house every week. We'd been moved in for a whole month now. It would be our fourth brunch. Bane, introvert that he was, was such a sweetheart with each breakfast. My parents adored him, and I had to admit it felt great to spend time with them again. I had a lot of lost time to make up for.

  "Good morning!" My mom sang as she first hugged me and then Bane. Did anything beat my mom's hugs? They were a constant in my life, and I loved seeing her make Bane squirm with her overly affectionate ways. I was convinced if there were more of my mother, the world would be a much happier place. She loved on everyone who came within reach.

  "What's for breakfast?" Dad asked as he stepped into the kitchen.

  "Oh, you brought him today too!" I pretended to be surprised. Something sharp pinched me, and I turned around to glare at Bane. "I was just teasing!"

  When my parents went to the coffee counter to make their own cups, I caught Bane around the waist and leaned up to whisper in his ear, "You pinch me again, and I'm going to make you pay for that."

  His eyes practically sparkled as he leaned down and whispered, "Is that a promise?"

  I smacked his arm and turned around to pull bacon from the oven.

  Breakfast consisted of bacon, croissants, and fruit salad—heavy on the grapefruit.

  We spent the next hour sitting at the table, eating breakfast and drinking coffee. Bane and I played a not-so-subtle game of footsie while my mom and dad openly held hands any chance they got. My dad really had missed her when she was gone.

  "Nola, I have some news," Dad said as he set down his orange juice glass.

  I hurried and swallowed my bite of croissant. "You're not sick, are you?"

  "No! Why would you say that?" he asked defensively. "Do I look ill to you?"

  "Hey now! You made it sound so ominous. What did you think I was going to assume?"

  "Children!" Mom cried.

  Bane was busy draining his orange juice glass that I suspected wasn't just orange juice.

  Dad sighed. "I have some news about Riley."

  I leaned forward and rested my elbows on the table. "What did you find out?"

  "You're not going to like it."

  "Dad. Just tell me. Is she okay?"

  He nodded, picked up his croissant, and buttered it generously. "She's fine. She's working. Your brother found her. She’s raising her sister. She's still in Oregon."

  "What?" I was genuinely shocked. Riley had had so many grand dreams. Places she would go, things she would see, all the things she would accomplish over her life. I knew that she would do well for herself. She wouldn't fall into the same pattern that her parents had lived before her. Even if she was raising her sister, it was shocking that she was still in the same state as me. "Where does she live in Oregon?"

  "This is the part you're not going to like. She's living in a trailer park in Burnside."

  "Give me her address." I thumped my hand against the tabletop. "She's been so close this whole time?"

  "Nola, sometimes people don't want to be found. If she hasn't reached out to you..."

  "Dad. Remember the time I went on that date with the boy Riley didn't like?"

  "Wait, what boy are you talking about?" Bane suddenly seemed interested in the conversation.

  "He was a creep." I waved a hand through the air. "Riley refused to let me go alone. I was so mad at her. But you know what? She was right. And that's what you do for your friends. You stick with them even when they don't want you to. I want that address."

  Dad nodded and pulled out his phone, texting it to me.

  Bane stood up and grabbed his keys from the key hook on the wall, nodding to me. "Let's go."

  I stared at him. His lean body towered in the doorway leading away from the kitchen.

  No questions asked. He knew I ne
eded to see my friend. Right then. "Really?"

  He smiled softly. "Really."

  I tossed my napkin on the table and called, "Mind locking up after us?"

  "Sure thing, honey," Mom called.

  I followed Bane to the garage, where he opened my car door for me. "You ready for this?"

  Nodding, I buckled my seat belt as he closed the door and hurried around to the driver's seat to start the car. "I feel as though it's been hanging over me for years. I thought it was my fault. I thought it was my dad's fault. I thought it was the system's fault. I feel as though I need answers on why she disappeared."

  "And we'll get them. I know how much this means to you," Bane told me as he pulled onto the main street in Riverly.

  I leaned across the middle consul and kissed his cheek. "How did I ever get so lucky to be married to you?"

  He shrugged. "You bought too many grapefruit."

  I threw my head back and laughed. "You will never let me live that down, will you?"

  "Never. I plan on reminding you for the next fifty years." He reached towards me and grasped my hand in his.

  "Only fifty, huh? Planning on getting out early for good behavior?"

  I yelped when he pulled his hand free of mine and squeezed my ticklish knee.

  "I don't know if I'll qualify for good behavior after being married to someone who breaks and enters houses."

  "Says the squatter!"

  Bane kept me laughing and joking until we pulled off the highway into Burnside. Two more minutes and we were driving through a trailer park. We stopped in front of the trailer that matched the number in my dad's text.

  "You ready for this?"

  "I'm ready for anything with you."

  I kissed him slowly on the lips. "Same here, Mr. HOA."

  The End

  Thank you!

  Mr. H.O.A. was a labor of love from a lot of people. First of all, thank you to my husband for encouraging me to write it. For sitting down and talking out the story. For insisting Harold be in there. He was right—Harold was a lot of fun.

  Thank you to Ashley and Sarah for supporting me and talking me down from the proverbial cliff and bonfire where I wanted to roast my unfinished manuscript. You guys saved this story and my sanity.

  Thank you Jenny for your many suggestions and pointing out those pesky p(l)ot holes. Thank you Alison for your incredible eye for detail!

  Thank you to the readers who have encouraged me and supported me on this journey! I hope you love Bane and Nola as much as I did.

  I really hope you enjoyed Mr. H.O.A. As a romantic comedy writer, I love to craft stories that are funny, light-hearted, yet still relevant.

  Did you know that reviews help authors? Did you know that as an author I even read the reviews? If you take the time to review Mr. H.O.A. it would be so much fun to hear from you!

  Review here!

  Miss Trailerhood

  By Carina Taylor

  Chapter 1

  Riley

  Should I go nude?

  Or maybe a little more tan?

  Deciding which way you looked best would be difficult for anyone, but it was especially difficult when your hair was wrapped in a towel. It automatically lowered your self-confidence—and made you wonder if you shared the genetics of a troll.

  Having eye cream slathered so thick I could see it under my eyes didn’t help either. Oh well. I guess I’d go nude. It made a statement.

  With a heavy sigh, I snatched the nail polish off the shelf and dropped it into my basket.

  It would scare most people to go to the grocery store looking like I did. But that was the beauty of living in Oregon. When you went to the store, you saw people in all states of dress—or undress. Some people wore their pajamas. About eighty percent of the population appeared in yoga pants. And every once in a while, you could spot a person wearing hardly anything. But the only time I went nude was when I painted my nails that color.

  Snatching some cotton balls, I tossed those into my basket before I stopped by the baby section to grab baby wipes. They made the best makeup removers.

  I had to hurry because I only had two hours before I went live and only three hours before my sister got home from her friend’s. It was the first week of summer break, and I was already frantically trying to think of fun summer activities for Wren and me.

  Luckily, tonight was cookie night.

  I turned down the baking aisle of the convenience store. Convenience was right. It was practically right next door to my house. And this convenience store had the decency to stock regular food items. Tonight was chocolate-chip-cookie night, and if Wren came home to find that we were out of chocolate chips, I would be in big trouble.

  I paused in front of a mirror that was part of the sunglasses display. The avocado smeared beneath my makeup-less eyes usually helped remove the puffiness, but I wasn’t sure it would work today. It needed to. I had to take photos tonight.

  Setting the basket on the front counter, the woman standing there helped me empty it. After laying the chocolate chips and nude nail polish on the counter, I pulled my card out of my phone case and swiped it.

  “Big night planned?” Marni, the woman who managed the convenience store, asked.

  “We’re making cookies tonight if you want to stop by.”

  Marni tugged at the large hoops in her ears. “Well, Dean and I have tickets to the mud show tonight, but thanks for the offer.”

  I nodded and tucked my card back into my phone case. Marni and I lived only a street apart.

  The first time I’d met her, she told me that her boyfriend, Dean, was going to propose any day now. That was three years ago, and he was still coming up with excuses. “You taking pictures tonight?” she asked.

  “Yes, Wren is hanging out with friends today, so I figured I’d get some evening shots with Tony.”

  “He’s getting better. That YouTube video he watched really helped.”

  “I agree.” Tony was another near neighbor who was dabbling in photography. He was decent enough and wanted to add to his portfolio, so he helped me in trade for chocolate chip cookies and girlfriend advice.

  Although his pictures weren’t bad, I doubted he’d ever make it as a true professional. He’d do fine snapping pictures of T-ball practice and backyard weddings, but he wouldn’t be featured in any magazines—not in this lifetime.

  Marni passed me the paper sack. “You want me to get you a ticket to mudding next week? Dean’s got a friend that works for the owner’s son.”

  Sounded like she had those tickets locked in tight. “Thanks, Marni. If it’s no trouble, I know Wren would love that.”

  Unfortunately, Wren was now at the age where she liked boys. I couldn’t convince her they still had germs and she needed her cootie shot every time she accidentally touched one.

  Right now, she had a crush on Mason Higgins—someone in the making of a true redneck. Nice enough kid, just not too bright. He liked mudding, though, so now Wren liked mudding, even though she hadn’t ever been, which was why I wanted to remedy that. I hoped she would go to a mudding event and decide that it wasn’t for her, and then she’d decide that Mason wasn’t for her either.

  “What’s with the green stuff?” Marni pointed to the goop on my face.

  “I’m doing a live makeup tutorial while the cookies are baking. This takes away the puffiness from my eyes.”

  Marni shrugged. “Just remember to take the towel off your head too.”

  Patting my makeshift turban, I smiled. “I didn’t want my hair to dry on the walk over here. I need to do a blowout.”

  “You know I have that friend who would give you a discount at the hair salon if you tell her my name. She works wonders with my hair.” She gestured to her thick, heavy-handed bangs that somehow fit Marni well but would look horrendous on anyone else.

  “Thanks for that.”

  I gathered up my belongings and turned to walk out the door. Only, my mind must have been on other things, because I bumped into
someone—with my face. Where was the rest of my body when I needed it? That would teach me to slouch.

  “Oh, excuse me!” I apologized. I fumbled with the bag but managed to hold onto it. Raising my head, I stared at a chest. My face had left a little avocado imprint on the man’s white T-shirt. Not wanting to make things more awkward, I hurried around the man, ready to dash for the door.

  “Riley!” a familiar voice called to me. I stopped. The voice was deeper than I remembered. More gravelly. But I’d know it anywhere. Slowly turning around, goosebumps on my arms, I stared at the man I’d smashed my face against.

  A blast from the past stood in front of me, a water bottle in his hand. Brown, tussled hair. Bright-green eyes that saw too much.

  He’d always seen. He always knew.

  I let out a squeak and ran out the door. My flip-flops slapped against the bottom of my feet as I tried to keep my armful of groceries from falling. The cars zooming down the road next to me had me glancing frantically over my shoulder as if he were driving one of them.

  When I made it to the gated entrance to my neighborhood, I slowed my sprint to a light jog.

  I was home.

  I was safe.

  My secret was safe.

  The past would have to stay in the past. There was nothing else I could do about it. No matter how much I wanted to wrap my arms around the past and hug him—er, it—I couldn’t, because the past was over.

  I could only look to the future—mine and Wren’s.

  The good-looking man who had grown into his large ears and broad shoulders didn’t have a place in the Wren-and-Riley future.

  Our trailer wasn’t big enough.

  I hurried past Tony, who was busy washing his Mustang in front of his green single-wide. I nodded to Eldon, who stood in front of his outdoor shed, a screwdriver in each hand.

  My heart still raced as I popped the handle on my trailer and opened the door. Home sweet home. That’s right. I lived in a trailer park.

  And it wasn’t just any trailer park. It was the one and only, coveted, desirable, Burnside Waterfront Trailer Park.