Hard Landing

by Davies, Shirleen

  Her father was a good-looking, hardworking, and hard-drinking backwoodsman. The only reason he was a cop was to put food on the table, not because he loved it. The odd thing was, he was a real good cop and had the awards to prove it. But at the end of the day, more often than not, he’d walk into their house with a new woman following behind him. She’d stay for a few weeks, maybe a few months, then leave. Usually because Jesse’s dad would tell her to go. Her grandmama told her once that he’d never gotten over her mama leaving them. Oh, he wanted a woman, but he might never trust one again.

  Jesse had studied hard in high school, tutored other students, been involved in sports, and earned an appointment to the Naval Academy. Although she’d made a couple of friends, for the most part, she kept to herself, not trusting anyone enough to get too close.

  She’d done well at the Academy. Upon graduation, Jess had been given a chance at pilot training, where she’d excelled. There were a few other pilots she’d hung out with, including Reb and Trey, yet she’d never let anyone get too close. She understood the psychology behind it—her mother abandoning them had caused an innate fear of close friendships. Trey had been her first, and only, relationship. She didn’t need anyone to explain it to her—she needed a way to overcome it.

  Somehow, over the years and long hours of training, Trey had worn down her defenses, until they were living together, sharing a bed, and falling in love. In all that time, she’d never shared much of her past with Trey, even though he’d been up front about his family, his parent’s divorce, and his desire to return to the ranch after his obligation to the Navy was over.

  If only she’d explained something about her childhood, about how she’d tried a couple of times to form a friendship with her father’s female friends, only to have him break it off and ask the woman to leave. Each time, she’d folded a little more within herself, and ultimately decided that building any relationship with those women was senseless.

  When she’d learned of Trey’s son, her first reaction was to move out, spare the child any hurt if she and Trey didn’t stay together. In all honesty, she didn’t want to form an attachment to Trevor, then have Trey change his mind and ask her to leave. Even though most wouldn’t suspect it, she was a sucker for children—always had been. She now realized it was all about protecting herself and not about her feelings for Trey or her desire to build a lasting relationship with him.

  Jesse stopped her mental rambling, deciding it was time to head home. She walked into the house to the sounds of cheering and yelling. The television showed the Los Angeles Angels playing the Houston Astros. Five to four in the bottom of the seventh. The first game of a double-header. Benny sported an Angel’s cap, while Tony wore an Astros t-shirt. It figured that they’d be on opposite sides.

  “Pizza’s in the kitchen,” Tony called between plays.

  “Papa John’s?” Jesse teased.

  “Hell, no. Homemade. What kind of a man do you think I am?”

  She smiled and grabbed a plate, loaded it with three pieces of pizza, found a soda in the refrigerator, and joined the boys in the living room. She hung out with them until the end of the first game, then headed upstairs to shower. Once dressed, she walked downstairs to find Reb and Paul in the kitchen, loading up on what was left of the pizza.

  “Hey, Reb, Paul. I didn’t know you were coming over.” She hugged both before grabbing a bottle of water.

  “Tony called at just the right time. Trevor was fussy, his dad didn’t know what to do, and, since it was Trey’s night to cook, pizza at your place sounded like a good alternative. Give him a chance to mellow out with Trev.” Reb headed toward the living room.

  “Have you talked to him yet?” Paul asked without preamble.

  “No.”

  He shook his head and followed Reb toward the sounds of the baseball game.

  Jesse leaned back against the kitchen counter, took a swallow of water, and tried to clear her mind. He was home with his son. Maybe she’d just drive over, see if Trey would let her inside. What’s the worst that could happen?

  ******

  “Dada!” Trevor chanted, for at least the tenth time. He stood in his crib, hands gripping one side, and bounced up and down, calling for his dad. A few nights before, it had been Mama over and over, which had been harder for Trey to handle.

  Trevor had eaten his dinner, had a bath and story, yet refused to settle down and sleep. Trey would give his son five more minutes before cracking the bedroom door to peek inside.

  Within three minutes the sounds had ceased. Trey bounded up the stairs, hoping all he’d see was Trevor, asleep. Sure enough, his boy had worn himself out bouncing, finally dropping onto the mattress. He’d just pulled the blanket over Trevor’s body when the doorbell chimed. Trey leaned down and kissed his son on the forehead, then crept out of the room.

  He walked downstairs, feeling better than he had in several days. He’d done pretty good pushing Jesse from his mind, until then. At least he had reached the point where he’d accepted that it was over. He’d decided to look forward, not back, and made a vow to himself to never live with a woman again, unless they’d made a commitment to marry. No more trial runs. And no more female pilots. A stable, civilian woman was what he wanted for Trevor and himself.

  “Coming,” he called, as the doorbell sounded once more. He reached the door and pulled it open, stunned into silence by who stood outside.

  “Hello, Trey.” Jesse stood tall and looked him in the eyes.

  He recovered quickly. “Jesse.” He looked beyond her, but saw no one else. “What are you doing here?”

  Her courage diminished as she realized he might not even allow her inside.

  “Reb and Paul came over to watch the ballgame. It was loud, crazy, lots of testosterone, so I thought…” her voice trailed off.

  “What? You’d come over here for old times’ sake?”

  She looked behind him. It hadn’t occurred to her that he might have invited someone over. “I’m sorry. This probably wasn’t a good idea—stopping by without calling.” She turned to leave.

  “Why did you come over? You generally have a plan for everything. This seems pretty spontaneous.”

  Jesse stopped, knowing he’d guessed right. She did have a plan but had lost her nerve as soon as he’d opened the door. Her heart had jumped into her throat at the sight of Trey. His deep gray t-shirt was drawn taut across his chest and tucked into tight fitting jeans. His dark hair was a little mussed, and the dark stubble on his face reminded her of the first time she’d met him, in the gym at the Academy. Her breath had caught then also, at the sight of the muscular, incredibly handsome, and somewhat dangerous looking midshipman.

  Tonight it was by sheer will that she’d gotten out the first two words of a greeting.

  She took a couple of steps toward him. “I guess I didn’t think it through.” She licked her lips, fortifying herself before looking into eyes that were set, hard. “The guys said you were here with Trevor. I’d been wanting to speak to you, to try to explain.” She paused again, already sensing she’d made a huge mistake. “I guess I just wanted to see you.”

  Jesse could see the muscles of Trey’s jaw tighten, knowing this was his way of dealing with difficult conversations. His narrowed eyes never wavered from hers. They’d turned a deep steel blue and she felt the coldness in them, even on this warm early summer night.

  Trey wanted nothing more than to grab Jesse, haul her to him, and kiss some sense into her. His heart had stopped when he’d opened the door to find her outside, after three weeks of nothing. He noticed her damp hair, could smell the scent of her shampoo, knowing she’d recently taken a shower. Memories of them naked, water sluicing over their bodies, assailed him, reminding Trey of what he’d lost. It also reminded him that their love was in the past. Over.

  He softened his voice only a little. “Right now isn’t the best time to talk. It’s been a long day, Trevor just went down, and I’m dragging. Maybe another time.”

 
Trey could see her struggle at hearing his dismissal. Truth was, he couldn’t deal with listening to her excuses or rationalizations for walking out. She’d done it because that’s what she’d needed to do, nothing more. Now he had to do what was best for him.

  “All right, another time.” She turned to go, then looked back over her shoulder. “Goodnight, Trey.”

  He stayed where he was, clutching the door handle so tight it felt like a death grip, watching as she got into her Jeep and drove away. As his breathing calmed and his heart settled, it dawned on Trey that perhaps he should have invited her in, listened to what she had to say. Maybe he owed her a chance to help him understand the reasons she’d left.

  He’d struggled with their one-sided discussion the day he’d flown back from his father’s wedding. Jess had calmly told him she was moving, as if it was not a big deal. He’d closed down, not allowing her to explain before grabbing his keys and leaving. In his mind, there was no justification for her walking out, making a unilateral decision that would tear them apart. After weeks of reflection, Trey did want to understand why, if for no other reason than to be able to move on.

  Yet, when the opportunity had been upon him, he just hadn’t been able to let her inside.

  One thing had become immediately clear—he still loved her. Trey had expected his feelings to diminish after she’d switched living arrangements. He was disappointed in the reality.

  Maybe, in time, they could talk it through, without the emotions that strummed through his body at the sight of her. For now, he needed to focus his life on Trevor and his career. All else would have to wait.

  Chapter Nine

  Two weeks had gone by since Jesse had stopped by Trey’s house. She’d heard nothing from him, hadn’t even seen him on the base. He’d dismissed her without a moment’s hesitation. Jesse hadn’t expected the immediate pain that ripped through her at his words. They weren’t cruel or intended to hurt. They were uttered in the flat tone a homeowner would say to a door-to-door salesperson—now’s not a good time, maybe later.

  Jesse had driven home that night in a fog, taking her time, winding through different neighborhoods, her mind whirling from Trey’s total lack of interest in seeing her again. She parked, noticing that Paul’s truck was still outside. She opened the front door, surprised to learn that the baseball game had just finished. Had she been gone that long? Reb and Paul were standing, ready to take off. They’d exchanged goodnights, then headed home. Jesse was thankful she hadn’t told them where she was going.

  The time since had been busy, with little time to reflect back on that night. Flight exercises had ramped up over the past month, keeping everyone busy and allowing little downtime. With Paul in the same squadron, she was able to keep up on Reb—mention of Trey and Trevor was considered off limits.

  “You going with us tonight?” Paul asked as they walked off the tarmac. Their squadron was meeting for dinner at a steakhouse a few miles from the base.

  “Wouldn’t miss it.” Jesse was ready for a night away and a thick piece of red meat. Unlike many women, she ate whatever she wanted and until she was full. The job and daily gym routine kept her weight down and her head clear. “I’ll clean up, then I’ll see you there.”

  Two hours later, she stood at the bar with everyone else, listening to more hogwash than she’d heard in days. Regardless, they were a good group of pilots and Jesse considered herself fortunate to fly with them.

  “Table’s ready,” someone called, and the group filed into the dining room.

  “Over here, Jesse.” Paul pointed to a chair between Nate Colvin and him.

  She walked around the table and sat down, more than ready for food.

  Everyone ordered and the banter continued as they ate their meals. She hadn’t gotten to know Nate, so this gave them both a chance to get more acquainted.

  “Where are you from?” Jesse asked as she slid a piece of steak into her mouth.

  “Tulsa. Went to college at the University of Oklahoma and was in the ROTC program. That’s what landed me here.”

  “Was it your plan?”

  “Oh, yeah. Unlike you, I didn’t get into the Academy, so I did the next best thing.” He offered a half-smile and shrugged. “Where did you grow up?”

  “A small town outside of New Orleans. I didn’t know I wanted to be a pilot until my third year at the Academy.”

  “And was it the right choice?” Nate asked.

  “Definitely. I feel like it’s what I was born to do.” Jesse finished her meal and pushed her plate away.

  Nate signaled for another beer for each of them, then rested his arm on the back of Jesse’s chair and leaned back in his own. “This is a nice place. Hadn’t had a chance to come by before.”

  “I’ve been here a couple of times.” Jesse thought of the nights Trey had brought her to the casual steakhouse—once with Reb and Paul as tag-a-longs. “You’re right. It’s a nice place.”

  “Hey, Reb!” Paul shouted across the noise of the dining room. “What brings you in here?”

  Reb walked in with a stunning redhead on his arm. Jesse recognized her immediately as Shelly, Reb’s regular date, and a new friend of Jesse’s. “Daddy,” his thumb pointed over his shoulder to the people behind him, “got a babysitter so we could venture out like adults.” He laughed and performed a mock salute.

  That’s when Jesse noticed a petite, nice looking blonde walk in with her arm draped through Trey’s. Jesse watched him glance around the room. When his eyes landed on her, he stopped. A moment passed before he moved on, as if she was nothing more than a distant acquaintance from his past.

  “Well, I guess it’s time I get going.” Jesse set her half empty beer down and started to stand.

  Paul’s hand on her arm stopped her. “Don’t. Wait a while so it doesn’t look like you’re leaving because of him.” His voice was low, conspiratorial.

  She nodded and sat back down.

  The foursome was seated across the room, making it hard for Jesse to look up without staring directly at them. Unlike Reb’s date, Shelly, who Jesse had met a couple of times, she’d never seen the woman who was with Trey. The four kept a running conversation, stopping only to order their meals. Trey looked rested, relaxed, and gorgeous. Jesse’s heart twisted at the sight of him enjoying an evening out with another woman.

  After an hour, she’d taken all she could. Jesse stood and started for the door.

  “Wait up, Jesse. I’ll go with you.” Nate sauntered up behind her and they headed into the warm night air.

  Trey took a long swallow from his water glass and watched Jesse walk out of the restaurant, followed by Nate Colvin. He knew the guy, liked him, and hoped he and Jesse were just friends and nothing more. The thought stopped him. He’d made the decision to forget about her, so why did it matter who she was with?

  He hadn’t wanted to go out with Reb and Shelly, preferring instead to spend time with Trevor, then kick back. The arrival of Shelly’s cousin from San Diego changed his plans. Shelly wouldn’t go out without Paige. Watching Reb grovel was ugly, so Trey had relented, forgetting that Paul and his squadron were going to the same steakhouse.

  Paige was a nice lady, in her mid-twenties, and finishing graduate school in San Diego. She was quiet, not like Shelly who would go head-to-head with Reb on any issue, but the evening had been pleasant.

  Thinking back, Trey knew he should’ve gone over and at least acknowledged Jesse. He felt like he was turning into a jerk where she was concerned. His family had taught him better. Trey had thought of calling her several times to meet at a local coffeehouse and clear the air. He hadn’t been able to go through with it, figuring there was no sense in digging up emotions that were already buried.

  ******

  “Fair warning, you two,” Trey announced at dinner several nights later. “My stepbrother, Cameron, is driving over from San Francisco this weekend. He wants to see his new nephew.”

  “Sounds good. Doesn’t he have a brother?” Reb didn’t l
ook up from his plate.

  “Yeah, and a sister,” Trey replied, while helping Trevor navigate a small spoon toward his mouth. “Eric is still recuperating from a motorcycle accident, and Brooke is in grad school in San Diego.”

  “Think she knows Paige, Shelly’s cousin?” Reb asked.

  “I asked Paige when we all went out. She hadn’t heard of her. I think they’re both at the same school, but it’s a huge campus.”

  Trevor took that moment to show his dislike of the food Trey had provided, letting it run down his chin, shaking his head, and grimacing.

  “Okay, Trevor. Let’s try this again.” Trey attempted to get his son to take another bite of the squashed banana before remembering what Connie had told him. No bananas. “Darn. Sorry, buddy. I’ll get something else.” He opened a cabinet door to grab another jar of food and start again.

  Reb sat back in his seat, offering a wicked smirk. “Okay, so tell us about Brooke.”

  Trey cocked his head and stared at his roommate. “I don’t think so.”

  “And why not?”

  “First, she’s a nice gal, but she’s going through some stuff right now. She and I spoke when I went to my dad’s wedding. And, no, I’m not going to share with you what she said. Second, she’s my stepsister, and I’d be crazy to introduce her to you two miscreants.”

  Paul placed his hand over his heart. “Man, that’s harsh.”

  “At least tell us if she’s pretty,” Reb persisted.

  “Yes, in a girl-next-door kind of way.” He grabbed his plate and walked to the sink, letting Trevor continue to play with his baby spoon and empty bowl. “And that’s all I’m going to say.”

  “Okay, little man, it’s my turn to give you a bath.” Reb scooped up a giggling Trevor and headed upstairs. Most nights, Trey did the honors, but lately, Paul and Reb had begun pitching in, even reading to Trevor before Trey came up to say goodnight.