Black Knight 02.5 - Movie Knight

by Hartness, John G

  “Go away!” The voice came again. “My flock are safe here, and here they shall stay!”

  “That’s fine, sir, but we need to come in there. Once we’re done and gone, you can lock the door behind us.” Sabrina yelled again.

  “NO!” Bellowed the voice. “None shall enter so long as I stand!”

  “Fair enough,” I muttered. “Sabrina, get out of the way.”

  “What are you going to do?” She asked.

  “Really? You’re asking me that? What’s my answer to almost every problem?” I said incredulously.

  She sighed and stepped out of the way. “Hit it, shoot it, or stab it.”

  “Bingo. Give the lady a prize.” I said as I drew back my foot. I thrust out my foot and kicked the door just above the knob, splintering the jamb and sending the door swinging wildly into the room. It caught a priest on the shoulder and knocked him several feet back into the room. “Sorry about that, padre.” I said as I stepped over him and walked to the altar.

  Sabrina took up a position at the back of the room watching the door as Greg and I looked around. “Where’s the holy water?” Greg asked the priest, helping him off the floor and into a pew as he did so. A quick look around confirmed that “the flock” the priest had been so worried about protecting was one young couple who looked scared out of their minds, and a wizened old nun dozing in the front row.

  “Where is it? Where is the hellspawn?” The priest was ranting now, rocking back and forth on the pew, and I nodded to Greg. He slapped the priest lightly across the face, once on each cheek, and the old man’s eyes refocused.

  “Where is the holy water?” Greg asked again, more slowly this time. The priest held out a shaky hand, pointing towards a font at the front of the room.

  “Thanks,” Greg said, starting towards the font. He paused, cocked his head to the side like a dog suddenly realizing he had no idea what to do with a car if he caught one, then turned back to the priest. He reached out to the man, took the crucifix from around his neck, and tossed it to Sabrina. She looked at Greg for a second, then nodded and put it on. “We’re going to need this more than you, Father.”

  Greg and I opened the font and started dipping our weapons in the holy water. Obviously soaking our guns wouldn’t be the best idea, but we did dip each of our knives in the water, and I did my best to get my sword completely coated. Then we each dipped a couple of magazines’ worth of bullets in the water and reloaded our pistols. I tossed a couple of mags of blessed bullets to Sabrina, who swapped out the ammo in her sidearm as well.

  “I don’t know how much good that will do, but it’s the best idea I’ve got.” I said as we went back out into the hall. The door immediately slammed shut behind us, and I heard the sound of yelling from inside and then a scraping as the priest moved something heavy in front of the door.

  “Where to now?” Asked Sabrina.

  “I have no idea.” I said, sniffing around and trying to catch a scent.

  “Anna said this thing lives on virgin blood. So where do we go to find a lot of virgins in a hospital?” Greg asked.

  “Well, the nurses’ station is right out the window,” I quipped, then froze as I suddenly realized the best place to find a bunch of pure souls.

  The same thought had obviously occurred to Greg and Sabrina at the same moment, because we all looked at each other and said “The nursery!” We took off at a dead run for the elevator, only to realize that lockdown meant no elevators, either. We dashed to the stairs at the end of the hall and made our way up to the fourth floor, where the nursery and pediatric ward was located.

  Greg and I burst through the stairwell doors onto the fourth floor, only to knock a candy-striper sprawling in a mess of linens. We helped her to her feet, stammered something about police emergency, then Sabrina was up the stairs with her badge and gun on display. The candy-striper went ass over teakettle again and this time decided that crawling away was safer than trying to deliver the laundry, so she scurried into the stairwell. The last I saw of her, she was heading down to the third floor clutching the handrail like her life depended on it.

  “I don’t see anything.” I said.

  “Your grasp of the obvious is remarkable.” Sabrina replied. “Do you hear or smell anything?” Okay, good point. Maybe we would be better served by my use of enhanced senses. I sniffed around, trying to find any hint of sulfur, or blood, or anything to make me think a psycho chihuahua-demon was running loose in the kids’ ward. I was just about to shake my head and report my failure when I heard an ear-splitting scream come from the hallway to our left.

  “That way!” I pointed down the hallway toward the scream, and ran after it.

  “Like I said,” Sabrina said, running along behind me and Greg, “remarkable.”

  We turned a corner and saw a horrified set of parents beating on the glass windows of the nursery, screaming for help. “Get out of the way!” I yelled, turning to face the window. I looked into the nursery and froze at what I saw. There was indeed a demon in the nursery, looking more like a gigantic armadillo than a chihuahua, but it wasn’t the time to nitpick. The thing was blue-green, scaly and had a long tail with three spikes on the end of it. It was pretty close to the picture on the computer, except that it was capable of standing on its hind legs and slashing with all four of its front legs, which it was doing right now at a pretty blonde nurse who was holding a baby wrapped in a blanket. Baby and nurse were both screaming their heads off, and the demon was howling right along with them. Add to that a pair of parents and some other random relatives in the hallway, and it was downright noisy.

  “There was no spiky tail in the picture, Greg!” I yelled at my partner. “Where did the spiky tail come from?”

  “I don’t think that was a Polaroid, Jimmy!” My partner yelled back at me. “And stop yelling, I’m standing right here.”

  “Oh, yeah. Sorry.” I dropped to a more normal tone. “Now what?”

  “I think ‘go in and kill the demon and save the baby’ was the general plan. Wasn’t it?” Greg replied.

  “Yeah, but it looks so much meaner in person.” I said, thinking about all those teeth.

  “Scared?” Sabrina teased. “It doesn’t look like it has silver teeth, Jimmy. I think you’ll be okay.”

  “Just because I don’t die from it doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.” I said.

  “Pain heals, chicks dig scars. Glory lasts forever.” Greg said.

  “You’re quoting The Replacements? Now?” I stared at him, the demon forgotten for a second in my shock.

  “Shut up, you love that movie too. Now come on!” With that, he pulled back a fist and threw a punch at the window that I barely caught in time.

  “Hey, you’re supposed to be the smart one, remember?” I said, forcing his hand back to his side.

  “What? We’ve gotta get in there!” He pointed at the demon.

  “Yeah, but let’s not shower the newborns with broken glass. Door’s around the corner.” I said, sprinting to the door marked “Nursery.” I flung the door open just in time to see the demon leap from a bassinet at the nurse, who dropped straight down and crawled away from the monster, shielding the infant with her body. The thing hit a wall and rebounded in a flash of slimy motion, flinging itself at the nurse’s back. I pulled my Glock and put three rounds in the demon’s back, knocking it off course. It landed in another empty bassinet and turned to face me, showing off all four rows of its nasty pointed little teeth.

  “That puny mortal weapon cannot harm The Kunz, fool!” Great, a talking chihuahua-demon. I don’t even like non-demon chihuahuas.

  “Sabrina, get the babies and nurse out of here, Greg and I will deal with this thing!” I yelled, stepping aside to let the others into the room. She nodded agreement and grabbed two babies in nearby cribs and headed back out into the hall. The demon jumped up and scurried along the ceiling faster than any human could track, trying to cut her off at the door. Fortunately for everyone, it had been a long time since Greg or I
were human, and we put three more bullets in the thing and knocked it to the floor.

  “This isn’t working, bro.” Greg said under his breath.

  “I noticed.” I said.

  “Got a Plan B?”

  “Always. Help Sabrina get the innocents out of here.” I said, stepping further into the room, keeping my eyes peeled for the monster.

  “What are you gonna do?” Greg asked, grabbing a baby and passing it off to Sabrina.

  “I thought I’d cut it to ribbons with my fairytale sword. You know, go all snicker-snack on its ass.” I drew the fairy queen’s sword with a hiss and was pleased to see that it glowed with a blue aura. Even if it didn’t do any good against the monster, at least I’d look cool getting my butt kicked.

  I took another step into the room and heard a whisper of air to my left as the demon broke cover and ran at Greg’s exposed back. He whirled around just in time to see me bring the sword down on the creature’s tail, cutting off the last foot cleanly. The demon stopped so quickly its butt skidded on the tile, and it spun around to glare at me, then look at its tail twitching on the floor and spewing purple-grey blood all over the place.

  “Missing something?” I asked, keeping the blade low and focusing all my attention on the quick little monster. It growled at me, all attempt at conversation forgotten, then sprang out of a crouch, flinging all six claws wide as it flew straight for me. I dropped flat to my back and the demon shot over me, giving me a wicked grin as it went past. It landed perfectly with a clatter of claws, then I heard a shriek from the other side of the room as it locked a set of claws into the left leg of the nurse who had been trying to get past me out the door.

  “Crap.” I muttered, and ran for the thing. It scurried up the nurse’s body and I yelled to her “Throw me the baby!” She did, and I caught the kid on the fly. I dropped it in a nearby crib and closed on the Kunz demon. Without the baby in her hands, the nurse was no longer of any interest to the creature, so it jumped away from her and back to the center of the room. I looked around and saw that Greg and Sabrina had cleared the rest of the babies out of the nursery, so there was only the one child left in danger. The demon realized at the same time that it only had one potential meal left, and we sprang for the crib at the same time. I was a hair faster than the monster, so I grabbed up the newborn and tossed it to Greg just before the demon landed in the bassinet. It sprang at my partner, but I reached out and grabbed the remaining stump of tail and swung it crashing into the window, cracking the glass and sending family members scurrying for safety. Greg got the baby and nurse out the door, and wedged it shut with a chair. He drew a pair of long knives from his belt and started moving slowly towards where the demon lay on the floor bleeding.

  “Hungry….” The thing hissed from where it lay on the floor.

  “Well, sorry, pal. Nobody left here that can be a meal for you.” The thing stared up at me, spitting, then sprang straight up and over my head. Faster than I thought it could move, it sprinted across the ceiling at Sabrina, who drew her sidearm and got off five or six quick shots before the demon dropped straight down on her. She curled up in a ball as it ripped into her with all six claws.

  I let out a roar that shook the walls and jumped halfway across the room, landing beside Sabrina and bringing my sword crashing down on the demon. I sliced it in half all the way down to its rear legs, then drew back and made a huge, sweeping sideways slash that sent its head flying to splat against the far wall. I knelt down beside Sabrina, terrified of what I was going to see. But what I saw was silver shining up at me through huge rents in her jacket and shirt.

  “You wore the chain mail.” I said, sitting back on my heels in relief.

  “Yeah, it seemed like a good idea at the time.” She said, wiping demon blood off of her face and smiling up at me.

  “It wanted to drink your blood.” I said.

  “I think there might be a line forming for that.” She said as she holstered her pistol.

  “Because you’re still a virgin.” I said, a tone of wonder in my voice. I’d heard of those mythical creatures reaching adulthood, but outside of movies I’d never seen one.

  “Never found the right guy.” She said, blushing.

  “Yeah, we’re going to have to do something about that.” I said. Her head snapped up and I realized that I’d once against lost the volume knob for my internal monologue. “I mean, there are all sorts of things that feed on virgins, so it’s not as safe as it once was.” I stammered a minute longer before I settled on “Forget I said anything. Let’s get out of here.”

  “Good idea,” Greg said from the door. “I don’t think you’re the only cop on the scene anymore, Sabrina.”

  “Crap,” she said, standing and trying to straighten her gore-splattered clothes. “No idea how I’m going to explain this one.”

  “Leave that to me,” I said, heading out to the hall to use my vamp mojo on the cops and make all the witnesses think that an Alzheimer’s patient had gotten loose and gone wandering again. No harm done, no foul. Greg went down to the morgue to tell Bobby the coast was clear, and we left the mess in the nursery to some very confused janitors.

  A couple of hours later, showered and dressed in sweats, cell phones all turned off and stashed in the crisper with the blood bags, we settled back in to start our movie. Sabrina, looking far hotter than anyone in borrowed sweats and a Captain America t-shirt had any right to, picked up the DVD box and said “I don’t know if I’m in the mood to watch this movie anymore.” She held up the Alien box set, and we all broke up laughing.

  Also by John G. Hartness

  The Black Knight Chronicles

  Hard Day’s Knight

  Back in Black

  Knight Moves (Summer 2011)

  The Chosen

  Red Dirt Boy

  Returning the Favor

  If you enjoyed this taste of the boys from the Black Knight Investigations team, check out their first full-length adventure here.

  Chapter 1

  I hate waking up in an unfamiliar place. I’ve slept in pretty much the same bed for the past fifteen years, so when I wake up someplace new, it really throws me off. When that someplace is tied to a metal folding chair in the center of an abandoned warehouse that reeks of stale cigarette smoke, diesel fuel and axle grease - well, that really started my night off on a sparkling note.

  My mood deteriorated even further when I heard a voice behind me say “It’s about time you woke up, bloodsucker.” I mean, seriously, why do people have to be so rude? It’s a condition, like freckles. I’m a vampire. Deal with it. But we can do without the slurs, thank you very much.

  “Go easy on the bloodsucker, pal. I haven’t had breakfast” was what I tried to say. But since my mouth was duct-taped shut, it came out more like “Mm mmmm mm mmm-mmmmmmm, mmm. Mm mmmmmm mmm mmmmm.” My repartee was gonna need an assist if I was going to talk my way out of this. Of course, if my mysterious captor had wanted me dead, he’d had all day to make that happen, but instead I woke up tied to a chair. I tested my bonds, but I was tied tight, and whatever he had bound me with burned, so it was either blessed, and he was devout, or it was silver. My money was on silver. The true believers are more the stake them in the coffins type than the kidnap them and tie them to chairs type.

  “I think, bloodsucker, that since I’m the one with the stake, I get to call you whatever I want. And you, as the one tied to the chair with silver chains, get to sit there and do whatever I say.” My captor moved around in front where I could get a good look at him. I knew him, of course. It’s never the new guy in town who ties you to a chair; it’s always that creepy guy who you’ve seen lurking around the cemetery for a couple weeks. The one that you’re not sure if he was there to mourn, or for some other reason. And of course, it was always some other reason.

  I’d seen this guy hanging around one of the big oak trees in my cemetery, near the freshest grave in the joint, for a couple of weeks. I never thought much of his wardrobe until now, but
in retrospect he was wearing almost stereotypical vampire hunter garb. Black jeans, black boots, long black coat, wide-brimmed black hat. Christ, I bet he owned the Van Helsing Blu-Ray. I swore then that if I ever got the chance, I was eating Hugh Jackman’s liver. No, we don’t usually eat people, but liver’s liver, and I was pissed. I had been caught and trussed up like a Thanksgiving turkey by a skinny twenty-something who watched too many bad vampire movies.

  This kid was white, about twenty-three, with mousy brown hair and looked like he played too much Call of Duty instead of getting a job. His skin was paler than mine, for crying out loud, and I’m dead! His clothes hung loose on his scrawny frame, giving him a scarecrow look about him, and either had an asthma inhaler in his front pocket or was happy to see me. God, I hoped it was an inhaler.

  “Mmmm mmmmm mm mmm mmmm mm mm mm?” I asked, which was supposed to be more of a what do you want me to do type of query, but my mouth was still taped shut. The kid reached forward and ripped the tape off, taking a layer or two of skin with it. “OWWW!” I yelled, straining against my bonds. “You little rat bastard, I swear to God I am going to drink you dry and leave your body on the lawn like…like an empty bag of flesh!”

  I admit, my similes need some work.

  “I don’t think so, bloodsucker. I think you’re going to do anything I tell you to, or I’ll just leave you tied up there to starve.” He had a point there. It’s not like there were very many people who would miss a vampire, and I hadn’t yet figured out how to get loose from whatever silver-lined bonds he’d created.

  “Alright, what do you want?” I asked. Might as well find out right now if he wanted something simple or…

  “I want you to turn me,” he replied. The look of hope on his face was a little pathetic, really, but there was a determination there that was disturbing. This was not going to be easy.