Lingus

by Mariana Zapata

  "Quit fidgeting with your hem!" he hissed before tossing back a shot of whatever the bartender had supplied him with. Josh used his thumb to wipe at the corner of his lips. "You look great, Kat, so quit that shit."

  "I don't mind showing off some leg, but I don't want everyone to see my ass," I tried to explain to him.

  I wasn't shy with my body for the most part. I'd inherited my dad, Frank's, excellent metabolism later in life, exercised regularly, and ate pretty well. Obviously, I was no size zero like Zoey, but I was content and comfortable with my size four. Well, usually more like a five or a six depending on how often I was going to the gym.

  Josh cocked an eyebrow at me, shifting on the stool he was occupying at the bar as he raked his dark blue eyes up and down my frame. I'd feel uncomfortable if any another man looked at me like he would some prized sports car, but this was Josh. Josh who I had caught wearing my underwear multiple times when we were roommates in college. Josh who liked DP and I wasn't talking about Dr. Pepper or double penetration in the form of vag and ass.

  Zoey and I were more excited about giving him Officer Spanky, as we'd started calling him, than we were about his birthday party. Unfortunately, the birthday boy and I were the first ones at Breeze. Zoey was coming with some friend named Eva as well as bringing along Ryan, her brother. Nicole was going to pick up Calum. That idea made me laugh a little because it was typical Nikki behavior. She always picked up the guy on their first date. I think she was trying to send a message of dominance, but who really knows. I was surprised she managed to wait more than an entire week to meet up with Calum instead of caving in and meeting him up for some "P and V time," as she deemed it.

  It had already been seven days since the porn convention. Time went by so fast it felt like only a couple of days instead. Now that school was out of session, I was busy working on my newest book and hitting up the gym with Zoey for hours. Unfortunately, the stud muffin I'd created for my newest novel shared pretty much every trait with Tristan King. Go fucking figure. The one person I tried not to think about was also the one person I couldn't stop thinking of. I didn't go as far as to name him Tristan too, but I settled for Christian the moment I came across the name randomly one night.

  "I like your dress," Josh said, running a manicured finger down the strap of my polka dot black dress. It had tiny spaghetti straps, a sweetheart neckline, reached me at a respectable knee-length, but the best part of it was that I found it on sale.

  I squeezed Josh's nose between the knuckles of my index and middle finger because I knew how much he hated it. "Thank you. You look nice too." He grimaced as he pulled away, adjusting the dark gray suit he was wearing over a crisp white shirt, and looked around to make sure any potential suitors didn't interpret my action as a romantic advance.

  "So, is Robby Lingus coming or what?" he asked, picking up the mojito that he ordered at the same time as his shot.

  The bad thing about having three friends who were all really nosey, as well as really close, was that if one knew something that the others didn't, it was only a matter of hours before everyone knew. It was a blessing and a curse. I'd have to give Zoey and Nicole credit though, Josh didn't find out about the Tristan and Robby situation until the day after porn con. Being the good friend that he was, he spent an hour going into details on how much prettier, smarter, and sexier I was than any of the other girls he'd ever seen Tristan with in his pornos. My boobs, ass, legs, face, and intelligence had never been more complimented in my life before that conversation.

  It was a testament to my ignorance that my gay best friend knew who Robby Lingus was and I didn't. I didn’t even know Josh watched anything other than male-on-male porn.

  "No clue. Nikki didn't say anything, so I wouldn't put my money on it."

  Josh frowned, raising his hand to touch his rock-hard hair. I swear he used half a bottle of gel on his blonde hair everyday. Where Zoey, Nikki, and I didn't bother highlighting or coloring our hair, Josh didn't hold back. He had white-blonde highlights redone every three weeks, religiously.

  He frowned and shrugged. "You think he might be at least a little gay?"

  I snorted before I picked up my glass of vodka and cranberry juice. "I don't think you can be a little gay," I laughed, but secretly asked God not to let him swing both ways.

  "You never know, Booger. Maybe he secretly likes bratwurst," Josh said with a straight face. I couldn't help but wince at his use of my nickname.

  "Is that what you're going to wish for tonight?"

  Josh crossed his fingers on both hands and closed his eyes. "All I want for my birthday is for Robby Lingus to be gay," he chanted before we both burst out laughing.

  A manly snort interrupted us, followed be a velvety, smooth voice that sounded amused. "I'm flattered, but I think you'd have better luck wishing Calum was gay. He likes crossing swords."

  Josh and I spun around in our stools to face the source of the milky, smooth voice, but I already knew who it was. Tristan was of course standing just two feet behind us, his hands as always, buried into the front pockets of his charcoal colored, slim-fitting pants. The black button down shirt he had on was neatly tucked into his pants and the sleeves were rolled up to his elbows.

  Good golly, Molly. I was worried Josh would try to bite him if I didn't get to it first.

  Tristan grinned at both of us, when we noticed that Calum stood right behind him with Nikki in tow. "It happens, Tristan. It's just... life. When you have two shafts that close together, you just can't help it." Calum explained with a shake of his head.

  Josh snickered from beside me. "Don't I know it, baby. You wanna sword fight?" he purred at Calum with a wink.

  I started laughing, looking up at Calum and Tristan just standing there for a moment, completely silent and looking at Josh with blank expressions before they both burst out with loud laughs too. The three exchanged introductions while Nicole squeezed through them, smoothing down the strapless cream dress she was wearing and tossing her straight, long sandy locks over her shoulder.

  She shimmied in through the three men to wrap me in a hug. "You look pretty," she said, tugging on a few strands of my wavy hair.

  "Thanks, Nik. You do, too," I told her.

  A second later, Josh let out a squeal, before darting past Calum and Tristan, saying something about having spotted his birthday present. Josh had a special gift for being able to spot a gay man in a crowd. It was like gay-radar, but more along the lines of a male dog catching a female dog's scent in heat.

  "In that case, Calum want to dance with me?" Nicole asked him like he really had a choice.

  The massive man just nodded and shot her a big smile. "My pleasure," he purred, and Nikki snorted but didn't say anything as they headed off.

  "Hey," Tristan said in a smooth, deep voice while rooted to his spot a couple feet away. I could see his eyes move from my face down to the exposed skin of my chest for a very brief second before he looked at my eyes again.

  "Hey," I said really low before clearing my throat. "I didn't think you'd come."

  He smiled at me as he planted himself onto the stool Josh left unoccupied. He twisted it around to face my direction. "I don't really have a life outside of school and work," he said with a shrug of a broad shoulder. "I wanted to see you, anyway."

  I snorted, rolling my eyes in his direction. "You're full of it," I told him, trying to wave down the bartender. I'd mentally prepped myself for his charm, there wasn't a doubt in my mind that he was a professional at luring and seducing females on a regular basis.

  "I'm serious. I wouldn't lie to you."

  "Okay," I agreed, unwillingly, with a smile and sip of my drink.

  "What are you drinking?" he asked and took my glass to smell it.

  "Vodka cranberry," I answered while he tipped it back, finishing off the little bit that was left. His pink tongue peeked out to lick his bottom lip. "Do you drink out of every random person's glass?"

  Tristan snorted and looked at me under those long, dark
eyelashes. "No, just my Mom and now you."

  "I guess now would probably be a bad time to tell you I have the flu then."

  He laughed, a full throaty chuckle before he turned his stool to face mine. The space between us was so narrow, his warm knee pressed against my thigh. "I'll take my chances," he said with a smile. "Your friend, Josh, seems like a nice guy. How old is he turning?"

  "He's twenty-seven now," I told him.

  "How'd you meet?" Tristan asked, his clear green eyes locked on mine.

  I start telling him about how we were in the same Spanish class, and it took me half the semester to finally talk to him. Then I went off into a rant about being roommates our junior year, and how I caught him walking around naked one too many times until I had to set up a mandatory clothing rule when outside of the bedrooms. He kept asking me questions about when we lived together, and then bought me another vodka cranberry while he sipped some kind of beer I'd never heard of.

  "What do you do?" he asked. We were both a little more relaxed then than we had been earlier, and somehow we'd shifted our stools so that the inside of his right thigh was pressed against my outer left thigh creating a pleasant heat on my bare skin.

  "I teach fourth graders."

  His smile reminded me of the sun after I'd been in the dark for long, it'd be so bright, you'd have to squint. "That's neat. How long have you been teaching?"

  I sipped my drink and waved at Josh who was talking to some guy behind Tristan. "I just finished my first year at Tucker Elementary."

  "Really? The law office I work at is right down the street."

  Law office? I was a lightweight when I drank and my tummy had already been feeling a little fuzzy. I remembered that he mentioned working and going to school. "Hammond and Associates?" I asked, because their office building was one of those modern masterpieces that I liked to look at on my way home.

  He nodded with a smile on his face, swallowing his beer. "Yeah, I have an internship there until I pass the bar."

  "You're studying law?" It seemed so weird to me that he did something else besides his porn crap. Did he not get paid enough? Zoey just did her scenes for a living, but I could faintly remember hearing her mention that women got paid a lot more than guys did.

  "One more semester left until I'm done," he answered me.

  I felt a bump on the back of my stool as I was opening my mouth to tell him that, that was great when I felt cold liquid spill down the front of my dress. I was pretty sure I yelped and pulled the front of my dress away from my body as the stream of cold flowed down my chest.

  "Oh shit! I'm so sorry!" a masculine voice said from behind and started passing me napkins from the bar.

  I patted down my skin with the napkins to soak up whatever shit was in his drink. "It's okay," I said between drying myself and looking up at the guy who held a half empty glass of something brown. "I'm fine."

  The guy finally walked away once I was done but I caught Tristan's eyes running over my chest again. He reached out and swept his finger over my collarbone, wiping off a spot I'd missed. His finger was warm and calloused on my skin. I couldn't control the goosebumps that spread out over my arms in reaction.

  He gave me a soft smile, taking his sweet time to pull his hand back. "I really did want to see you."

  I really wanted to believe him, but it was hard.

  Chapter 14

  "HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUUUUUUUU!" Half of the lounge sang along, it was more screaming than singing, which was followed by deafening cheers as Josh blew out the candles on his cake. We had kept it to two sparkling candles at his insistence; he claimed that he didn't want anyone to know his real age.

  I was standing between Zoey and Tristan, as we watched the birthday boy try to drunkenly cut his cake into squares, but instead made the slices come out like sloppy looking geometric shapes. The guy he had started talking to earlier was helping pass out slices, which I thought was sweet. A sharp elbow jabbed into my rib cage out of nowhere.

  "Kitty Kaaaaaat..." Zoey moaned in a sing-song voice. Her gray eyes were wide and glazed over, hinting at the fact that she was hammered. "Kaaaaaat..."

  "Yes?" I asked, trying my best not to snort.

  Her bird-like arm wrapped around my waist as she snuggled into my side, resting her head against the top of my chest; her date, Eva, looked at us with an amused smile. "My little kitty cat goes meow, meow, meow. Allllll over town!"

  I could see Eva start cracking up, and heard Tristan snicker from his spot right next to me. "I think it's time for you to get home," I told her, stroking her back while trying not to laugh.

  She was a silly drunk, my Zoey, like I was, but I'd stopped drinking hours ago when she had just gotten started. I knew she was going to be disappointed tomorrow when she couldn't remember the facial expression on Josh's face when he opened up his box. Ryan had been taking pictures randomly, so I made a mental note to ask him if he took one of the presents. Nicole got him anal beads as well as tickets to see his idol, Adam Lambert. I couldn't remember what Ryan got him, but the big surprise was that Calum and Tristan got him something too. Zoey had been trying to climb on top of the bar then, and Eva and I were too busy trying to get her down to see what it was.

  "I'm gonna go find Ryan and see if he'll take us home," Eva said, before heading to look for Zoey's brother.

  "Heading home after this?" Tristan asked, coming to stand in front of me and a drunk Zoey.

  I nodded at him before shifting my arm to rest against my best friend's shoulders. "Yeah, I'm pooped. You?"

  "Definitely, it's past my bedtime. I'm usually asleep by midnight," he said with a grin. I made a really unladylike noise from my nose, which sounded like a mutated snort that made his green eyes go wide. "How many times do I have to tell you that I won't lie to you?"

  I watched his face to see if he looked amused but he didn't. I was starting to believe he was being serious. "Okay, okay," I said, my voice much softer than before.

  Zoey started making some sort of grumbling noise from her face plant between my boobs that sounded like, "Buhday to jew."

  "Hear that? She's still singing happy birthday to Josh," he chuckled, looking down at the baby koala I had wrapped around me.

  "I'd rather her do this than when she starts trying to stick her hands up me and Nikki's skirts, making really loud honking noises," I told him, remembering the many times Zoey had gotten piss drunk and molested our asses and breasts.

  "Kaaaaaat...." Zoey started moaning again but squeezed her arms tighter around me. "Member that video? Jour puss..." and I knew the road she was going down when she started bringing up a video. Sober Zoey would never, ever bring up the video, but drunk Zoey had less of a verbal filter than normal, so I slapped a hand over her mouth and coughed.

  Tristan raised an eyebrow. "What was she talking about?"

  "No clue," I told him, and knew I need to change the subject so he'd forget anything he had heard. "So, uh, Robby Lingus? Huh? Who came up with that one?"

  He made a face that lasted for two split seconds before he smiled, looking very forced. I was starting to think he didn't really feel comfortable talking about that side of his life with me for some reason. "Robert is my middle name so I got Robby from that, and Calum actually came up with Lingus. He thought it was the funniest thing he'd ever heard."

  I wanted to ask him if he was good at cunnilingus but I didn't. If I were at least a little tipsy there would have been a huge risk of actually asking, but Ryan and Eva appeared a moment later. Ryan was huffing about Zoey's inebriated state as he tucked his little sister close to him.

  "Remind her she owes me tomorrow," he whined with a shake of his wavy, black hair. His beauty equaled that of Zoey, his build thin, tall, and extremely attractive. "You need a ride, beautiful?"

  "No, I'm good. From the looks of it I'm driving Josh's car home," I said, and pointed to where Josh was standing with his new friend while getting fed cake.

  He simply nodded and gave me a tender kiss to the cheek,
said bye to Tristan, and left. "Your husband doesn't mind you getting kisses from guy friends?" he asked with a bit of a smile.

  "Nah." I told him, but refrained from winking like my inner whore suggested. I wanted to ask him if he had a girlfriend. I doubted he did. I was sure Nikki would have mentioned it if she knew, but you could never be too sure. There was no really suave way of asking that question indifferently so I just jumped for it. I'd look like more an idiot if I tried to be slick and ask. "Do you have a girlfriend?"

  The words sounded harsh against the air, but he just smiled, shaking his head. "No. It's hard enough to have friends," he almost sounded a little sad saying that. "I've tried having a girlfriend, but I just can't. It's not... a good idea to be attached to someone and then go and have sex with other people, you know?"