Broken Beauty

by Bry Ann

  Tears roll down her cheeks but she doesn’t cry out loud. Unable to help it, I slide my hands under her frail little shoulders, lift her, and pull her into me.

  “I’m sorry about your mom, Rain.” At that, she does actually cry. Little, soft whimpers and shoulder shakes that I get the feeling are a big deal for her. “No one will hurt you, and I, the police, the doctors, and the nurses would never let anyone kill you. We’re here to protect you.”

  … That’s when the dam breaks. I didn’t think it was possible for someone so small to cry as hard as she does. Her whole body is shaking with the force of her cries. She keeps saying sorry and I continuously reassure her it’s okay. That she can cry as much as she needs. She eventually cries herself back to sleep in my arms. I lift her with one arm and grab the IV pole with the other. I bring her to the more comfortable chair where I hold her tiny frame against my chest and rock her back and forth.

  She sleeps with her mouth open. Like wide open. That’s something I notice. Her teeth are a little yellow from lack of dental care. I pull her closer into me. I just want this pain to end for her. Her wild brown hair is all over me. My chest. My mouth. My face. But it doesn’t bother me in the slightest. I'm rocking her softly when my assistant, Dalia, enters quietly.

  “Good morning, Mr. Brown.” She looks down at Rain. I can tell she’s about to ask about business but she changes her tone when she sees the way I'm holding Rain. “How is she? Poor thing, she’s been through hell. For someone so small, Marie is very strong.”

  “Rain,” I correct immediately.

  She tilts her head. “Okay. She goes by her middle name?”

  “Now she does.”

  “Got it, sir. I think I know the answer, but I do have to ask. Should I cancel your meetings today?”

  “Cancel them for the month.”

  Her eyes widen. “Sir,” she gasps. “I'm not sure—”

  “I don’t give a fuck. Tell them to call me if they have an issue. I have a family emergency. I won’t be available.”

  Her eyebrows furrow. “Are you…? It’s not my place.” She shakes her head.

  “Yes,” I answer her unspoken question. I glance down at a sleeping Rain. “She’s mine.”

  “Yes, sir,” she whispers, eyes soft. “Then she’ll be okay.”

  She smiles before leaving. She will be okay. I’ll make damn sure of it.

  Rain wiggles a bit in my hold as I try to unlock the front door. When I huff, my driver immediately takes my keys and opens the door for me.

  “Do you want me to put you down, Rain?”

  She nods vigorously.

  “Do you feel okay?”

  “So good! My tummy is so full.” Her smile is big before it falls. “What if Daddy—”

  She still doesn’t understand her rotten piece of shit of a father is never coming back. She doesn’t understand this is her new home. The psychiatrist recommended I try to explain slowly and to never throw too much at her at once. Besides, she will be in frequent therapy to help her transition. I wanted a team working with her but the psychiatrist recommended that I find one good therapist specializing in childhood trauma before adding anyone else in. She’s already going to have enough change, which makes complete sense to me. Her therapist's name is Lena Larson; she’s the best in her field.

  “Remember what I said about your dad, Rain?” I ask as I place her gently on her feet. My hands stay by her in case she falls. Her legs don’t look strong enough to hold her, but as always, she amazes me. “Rain?”

  I step in front of her so I can see her face now that I'm certain she won’t fall. Her mouth is hanging open and her eyes are wide. My driver, Jeff, looks over at her and smiles a bit.

  “Rain?”

  “This place is GINORMOUS!”

  My lips twitch and I realize I'm smiling. All this money, all this success, and I can’t remember the last time I’ve truly smiled.

  “It is.”

  She looks paralyzed on the spot. Jeff chuckles as he hangs the keys and leaves, locking the door behind him so Rain and I can have our privacy.

  “Am I gonna sleep here today, Richard?” she asks, sounding breathless.

  Forever. I duck down in front of her. “Do you want to?” She bites her lip. Her bruises kill me inside but I try not to let her see it. “You can tell me. I won’t be mad no matter what you say and your dad is in trouble, remember? Big trouble. He can’t hurt you anymore.”

  “Yes,” she whispers. “But don’t tell him, ‘kay, Richard? Please.”

  “I promise, sweetheart. I'm glad you want to stay.” She smiles. “How about I show you around?”

  She nods, but as she does, she yawns. It’s then I notice the dark circles under her eyes. “How about we take the tour in a little while, after a nap?”

  “Okay, Richard.”

  “Jeff, the man who just drove us here, got you some pajamas and I’ll show you where your room is. I didn’t know what you’d like so it’s not decorated yet. I’ll let you pick that out.” She looks completely confused, so I decide to show her. The lights from the chandelier reflect off the cheap heart necklace I got her. She hasn’t taken it off since the day I gave it to her. “Follow me.”

  She nods and trails behind me. She drags her feet. Usually, that would drive me nuts but with her, it makes me want to scoop her up, protect her, end her exhaustion—an exhaustion she probably doesn’t realize she’s felt her whole life.

  Her room is the one across from mine, for now, until she’s healthy enough, mentally and physically, to have more of her own space. God knows this house is big enough. When we reach her room, I stop.

  “This will be your room. Is that okay?”

  She nods. “Thank you, Richard.”

  She trots forward but she doesn’t go straight, where the bedroom door is. She goes… left. I watch as she opens the hall closet door. She turns back to me with a smile.

  “Good night, Richard.”

  She starts shutting the door and I'm just… frozen. The door clicks and that sound… fuck, that sound. Tears roll down my cheeks as I drag my body forward.

  “Rain…” My voice cracks as I slowly open the door. I drop down to my knees.

  “Yes, Richard?” She looks at me. She’s undressed. She didn’t understand what I said earlier because she’s never had pajamas. She’s slept naked in a closet her whole life. “Richard, you’re crying!”

  I am. Crying, that is. Anyone with a heart would be, faced with this.

  “Get dressed for me, Rain,” I whisper, ducking my head. “Let me know when you’re done.”

  Because God knows, if that fuck touched her… I don’t know if I'm capable of knowing how to finish that sentence.

  “Okay, I'm done. You okay?”

  I crawl over to her and scoop her up in my arms in the dark closet. She curls into my chest as I rock her back and forth. Tears stream down my cheeks.

  “You never have to sleep in a closet again,” I whisper. “You never have to sleep without pajamas again, Rain.”

  “B-But this is my room? I don’t understand. Daddy doesn’t like when I wear pajamas.”

  I take back what I said about the hit. I'm gonna kill the bastard with my own two hands.

  “This is not your room here. You have your own bedroom with fresh sheets, warm blankets, and, yes, pajamas, Rain. Have you ever slept in them before?”

  “Mom snuck pajamas one time. They were so comfy but Daddy punished Mommy. She didn’t go in the punishment box like me but he hit her really hard. Lots of times.”

  “Punishment box?”

  “When I was bad,” she clarifies, like it makes any sense. Dave and the other officers told me they found a cage in Mr. Quantack’s bedroom. Bile rises in my throat. I rub her hair back and I push to my feet.

  “Let me show you some seriously comfortable things.”

  I lead us both out of the closet. “Richard,” she whispers, “can I tell you something? Will it make you mad?”

  “No, Rain,” I
whisper. “You can always tell me anything. If I'm mad, we’ll talk about it, remember. It will never, ever be scary.”

  “I'm really scared,” she admits in a tiny voice as I enter her room.

  “What’s scaring you, sweetheart?”

  “I don’t know. Everything is so big. You’re so big. The house is so big. This room is humungous. I don’t know this stuff and there’s shadows everywhere and you keep giving me things. I don’t understand.”

  I set her down on the bed and turn to her. “The house is very big and I am very tall, that is true.”

  “And muscles, you have lots of muscles. Daddy didn’t have those.”

  “Yes, but my muscles will never hurt you. All the stuff I give you is to make you happy. You need to remember that. This stuff is all new now but it won’t be new forever. For the shadows, I’ll keep lights on everywhere you are, okay?”

  She nods. “That would be good.”

  “Thank you for telling me the dark scares you. Here.” I hand her fuzzy purple pajamas. “These are for you. I'm gonna step outside. Put those on and you’ll see how comfy they are.”

  “You’re not gonna stay?”

  “I’ll be right outside. Call me when you’re done.”

  “Don’t go far!”

  I kiss her forehead. “I won’t. Trust me, little raindrop.”

  She giggles. It’s the most beautiful sound I’ve ever heard. Ten minutes later, I'm sitting by her bedside while she gushes about how perfect the bed is, how soft her pajamas are, how much she loves the pillows. I read her a story like she says her mother did every night. She’s instantly entranced by Harry Potter’s world. I think from the moment she found out he lived in a cupboard under the stairs, she felt like she related to him. I read until she falls asleep and her little mouth slips open with soft snores. I kiss her forehead and rub her hair back.

  “See you soon, little raindrop.”

  3

  Rain

  Twelve Years Old

  Dad stares down at me and I can see how much he’s worrying. I promised him I could handle going to a real school. I swore I was ready. When he first adopted me, I definitely wasn’t ready. I had never been to school before. I’d never even had a teacher before. I didn’t understand what was happening in my life. Once reality started to sink in, I was terrified. I had bad dreams. The delusion I lived in was gone. I had flashbacks of the beating, the touching I hated, the times I was locked in the box, and most prominently, when I watched him kill my mom.

  But now that I have my backpack on and I'm staring up at my dad, all I want is for him to pick me up and hold me. I want him to take me to the table where my private teacher will meet me to help me learn things so I can catch up with the other kids my age. I guess I'm caught up now, but still, I want her back. I want to stay in this big, safe house where nothing bad has ever happened to me. That’s what my mom would have wanted too.

  “You don’t have to go, Rain. If you’re not ready—”

  “I'm ready! I told you I'm ready!”

  “Rain,” he says in his softest voice. Dad’s voice is never soft but he tries sometimes to make it super soft when I'm ready to cry, usually. “It’s okay. If you’re scared or upset, I’ll still let you go, if you want to. You don’t have to hide your feelings from me, sweetheart.”

  My lower lip trembles. “I'm not scared.”

  “Is that a lie, little raindrop?”

  My nickname makes one of the tears fall. “Okay, I'm a little scared.” I pinch my fingers together. “Just a little.”

  Dad gets down on his knees so we’re eye to eye and holds open one arm. I run into his arms. Instantly, I feel safe again when he hugs me.

  “What if nobody likes me?”

  “Not possible, Rain Brown. Do you hear me?”

  “B-But Dad—”

  “Rain, you’re beautiful. You’re smart. You’re the strongest person I know. People will see that.”

  “I’m not those things though, Dad,” I whisper. “I'm weird. I'm different. I'm broken. People don’t like broken things.”

  Dad stands to his full height and holds out a hand. He’s not asking. His large body is stiff and powerful, like when he goes to work. I take his hand as he leads me to the downstairs bathroom. He leads me to the bench and has me take a seat while he goes inside a drawer and pulls out some things.

  “You’re not broken, Rain. Do you hear me? You view yourself like broken glass when, in reality, you are steel, sweetheart. Someone tried to break you, they gave it everything they had, but you were too strong to break.” He takes my wrist in his hand and puts it on a washcloth he has laid out on the bench. “I'm gonna absolutely suck at this.” His lips tip up in a small smile. “But you know how you’ve always wanted your nails painted and I’ve said no?”

  Is he gonna finally let me?! My eyes light up and I squeal, “Yes!”

  He chuckles. “Do you like purple?”

  He holds up the most beautiful purple polish. It’ll match my purple flower dress perfectly.

  “It’s so beautiful.”

  “Just like you, remember that, sweetheart,” he whispers as he starts to paint my nails. It gets all over the tips of my fingers but I bet I can fix it. Watching him paint my nails makes me giggle. I'm so excited he’s letting me. I love pretty things!

  He’s the best dad in the world. I'm so glad he found me.

  Richard Brown

  “Fine,” I say coolly. “My offer stands at twenty million. Not a penny more.”

  The man across from me narrows his eyes. Yes, his building is my preference for my expanding real estate company, but he doesn’t need to know that. And I do have other options.

  “This is worth at least twenty-one!” he protests. Spit flies from his mouth as his face reddens with rage. I remain calm.

  “Okay, well then, thank you for meeting with me today. Jenny can walk you out.”

  That pisses him off more. I nearly smile. Of course, he’s not gonna walk away from twenty million, paid up front right now. It’s a steal for me, but still a hell of a deal for him. That’s a fast sell. He clenches his jaw tight before nodding.

  “I’ll have my lawyer draw up the paperwork,” he tells me, tone sharp.

  “Great. Once I receive that, my attorney will look it over and we can complete the deal. It’s been good doing business with you.”

  He gives me a smile, but he doesn’t mean it at all. I'm used to that in my world. “You as well, Mr. Brown.”

  Just to be an asshole, I tell him, “Jenny will see you out.”

  He glowers at me and pushes to his feet. Once he’s gone, I let my smile spread. God, it feels fuckin’ good sealing another deal. My real estate company has been itching to expand for a while now. One of my great loves is watching my businesses grow. Speaking of love, I glance down at my watch.

  2:45 p.m.

  I have to go. Rain will be out of school at 3:30 p.m. and I need to be there. I won’t let traffic or anything else be an excuse. I’ve been anxious all day. I had a drink before this meeting to help keep me focused. Rain’s therapist has been recommending school for Rain for more than a year now. I’ve been too terrified someone would trigger her. She’s made so much progress these past three years. I love her smiles. I'm terrified that one day, the past will steal those from me. And kids can be brutal. I didn’t want her subjected to their judgement. Eventually, though, her therapist verbally slapped my hand and said I was ruining Rain’s chance at a normal life. I signed her up that night.

  “Dalia,” I call as I throw my suit jacket on, “I’ll be out of the office the rest of the day.”

  “Lieutenant Marcus wanted to schedule a call today. There’s a child they need to speak with you about. It may be another rescue,” she says softly.

  My work didn’t stop after Rain. Although, Rain is the last rescue I was a part of. She softened my heart. I can’t do it anymore. I still financially support and am a major part of the operation, but I don’t do the saving anymore. I can�
��t.

  “Tell him I’ll call him this evening when Rain goes to bed.”

  She nods and makes a note on the notepad she always carries with her. “Yes, sir.”

  I nod. “Have a good night, Dalia.”

  “You too, sir.”

  I make my way down the elevator from the ninth floor and climb in the car.

  “Stop by Claire’s on the way,” I tell my driver.

  He tries to hide it but I see his lip tip up in the mirror. “Yes, sir.”

  He gets a kick out of me being a girl dad. I may have lost some of my man card, but it’s worth it. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

  $60 of sparkly things later, I'm on my way to Rain’s school. My foot bounces anxiously. God, I hope it went well for her today.

  “Sir, if I may,” Jeff, my long-time driver, says, “Rain is a strong little girl and very intelligent. She will be okay.”

  “It’s not her I'm worried about,” I snap. “It’s the other kids.”

  Jeff gives me a wry smile. “I don’t know, sir. I’d be more worried about them when it comes to Rain than I would her.”

  I smirk at that. Well, yes, despite not actually having my genetics, she takes after me in that regard. I remember when she was nine, struggling with nightmares, flashbacks, and a whole host of concerning mental health issues, some man asked me when I would be having a son to inherit my empire. She scowled and without missing a beat, said, “Excuse me, that’s what he has me for!”

  He was the CEO of a multi-million-dollar company, for reference.

  I’d never been prouder than I was in that moment. I doubt she’ll want to run all this when she’s older, and in no way do I expect her to, but it was cute hearing that from her. My foot is bouncing again when we pull up to the school. There are lots of kids out front with teachers all around, watching them. I look around for a little girl in a purple dress with long, curly hair. I don’t see her and I start to panic.

  “Sir.” Jeff cocks his head to a spot between two pillars. Rain is standing there, talking to a little girl dressed in olive green with two braids in her hair. Rain is smiling shyly and fiddling with the end of her dress. The girl says something and Rain laughs. My heart just fuckin’ melts.