SEAL's Spitfire (Special Forces: Operation Alpha) (Black Eagle Book 1)

by Lynne St. James

  If you’d asked him what his “type” was he wouldn’t have an answer. He didn’t really date, rarely saw a woman more than one or two times. His free time was valuable to him and he’d rather spend it with the guys or alone. Then he met Meghan. She was so different from any of the women he’d met, more like his sister but not really either.

  There was no pretense about her. Like his sister, Dawn, what you saw is what you got. But Meghan was a lot to get. Her black hair fell in sheets around her shoulders, so dark it was like looking at a moonless sky in the desert. Pale skin told him she rarely got outside and worked too much. Her hazel eyes were the most expressive he’d ever seen. He wondered if she realized everything she was feeling, and thinking was visible in the blue-green depths.

  Did he want to dull the smile that she wore as she approached him? Bringing up the news about her brother would rip it off her face faster than he could get the words out. She’d asked him to get information if possible. Would telling her now do anything to help, or just make the plane ride a living hell?

  “I feel better. I apologize if my breath was a bear. My mother would have had my hide for chatting without brushing after dinner.”

  “You’re fine. I swear and if I meet your mom, I promise not to tell her.” Feeling the lightness of her mood helped him make the decision. He’d hold on to his information until they got to Atlanta. She deserved a respite no matter how short.

  “Thank you. I appreciate that,” she answered with a wink. Yup, holding off was definitely the right thing to do.

  Chapter 5

  The flight went without a hitch. All the passengers were not only allowed to sit where they chose but encouraged to sit in First Class. It somehow made the entire ordeal a little easier to swallow and the free drinks didn’t hurt either.

  Meghan and Rafe chatted throughout the flight in hushed tones to not disturb the other passengers. There was something about talking in the near darkness that made it easier to share the deepest private thoughts. Sharing her greatest fear—disappointing her mother—was huge. She’d never told anyone, not even Chrissy. Her mom had always believed in her children and encouraged them to follow their dreams. But what she was doing now wasn’t even close to living her dreams. How had she let it go on for so long? Five years in a dead end job was too much.

  Thinking about it, she shivered, as acid roiled in her stomach. Maybe the vodka and tonic hadn’t been a good idea.

  “Are you cold? I can get you another blanket.”

  “No, I’m fine. Thanks. Just a ghost walking over my grave.” She was surprised that even in the dim light he noticed the movement.

  “A what?”

  “You’ve never heard that expression?”

  “Can’t say that I have.”

  “It’s the feeling you get when something is odd, makes you shiver or gives you the weird feeling in your tummy. Makes your hair stand up and goosebumps pop out.”

  “Ah yes. When I get that it usually means a shit show is about to break out. Not pretty.”

  “I’d say not.”

  “So, what are you worrying about?”

  “I was thinking about my brother. He’s living his dream but now it may take his life.”

  Rafe nodded and averted his eyes. Did he know something? Had he heard something? He said he couldn’t look into it, but what if he had? What if he already had bad news for her? Panic started to set in, her lungs weren’t working, she tried to inhale, but no air filled her lungs. Sweat dotted her forehead, and she grabbed her chest, trying to make her lungs work. Terrified she was going to suffocate, she bent at the waist and hoped it would help.

  Rafe must have seen her distress and he pulled her into his lap. With his large hands on either side of her face, he made sure she was looking at him. “Spitfire, focus. Breathe in, slowly. Now breathe out. Slowly. Put your hands on my chest and follow my lead.”

  Slowly her panic eased, she wasn’t going to die. In and out, taking each breath with Rafe.

  “There you go. Feel better?”

  “A little. Thank you. I was… I couldn’t breathe, I thought I was going to die.”

  “Do you have panic attacks often?”

  “Is that what it was? Then no. This is the first and I hope to God my last. I don’t think I could take another one.”

  Rafe smiled gently. “I don’t blame you. I’ve never had one, but I’ve witnessed way too many.”

  “I guess I have an overactive imagination. When you looked away when we were talking about Charlie it made me think you knew something. Something horrible…”

  Rafe’s eyebrows lifted in surprise. “You are extremely observant.”

  “Yes, we’ve discussed this. Remember? You’re stalling. It means you do know something. You have to tell me, whatever it is.” It’s also when she realized she was sitting in his lap. She didn’t remember how she got there but it wasn’t a bad place to be. Did she want to stay there depending on what he had to say? She couldn’t decide if she was mad at him or not for holding back information. From the little he’d said, and what she surmised from her observations, he was all about comfort and help. Getting mad at him for trying to protect her wasn’t really fair but neither was hiding information about Charlie.

  Rafe pulled his hands away from her shoulders where they’d moved to as she calmed down. She wanted to tell him to keep them there, but she didn’t. She would be brave no matter what he had to say. It was time to move back to her seat, as comforting as her present location was, she needed some distance.

  “I’m sorry. My intention was to tell you when we landed. You were finally relaxed. I thought you needed some down time before you walked into the Lion’s Den at home.”

  “It wasn’t your right…”

  “I know. But it’s not official information either. It’s from an exceptionally talented friend who knows his way around computers like most people know the alphabet.”

  “Please, just spit it out. I need to know. Is he dead?”

  “No. At least we don’t think so. But you were right, his group has been kidnapped. As of zero two thirty, no ransom demand had been made.”

  “Thank God. Why wouldn’t you tell me that? It’s good news.”

  “Good? I figured getting confirmation that he had been kidnapped would be devastating. Until then you still could hold on to the hope that it hadn’t been him.”

  “Maybe, but that’s not how my mind works. To me knowing is half the battle. Now I need to formulate a plan to get him back. Get them all back.”

  “Wait. You are a civilian. You can’t just go over there on a one-woman rescue mission. You have to leave it to the people who do this for a living. People like me.”

  “Really? What are the odds they’ll send you for a bunch of missionaries? ISIS and the Taliban have killed how many people? How many people are rescued if they’re not deemed important by the government?” It wasn’t fair, and definitely not something he could control but it felt good to be angry instead of devastated.

  “Shhh, you’ll wake the others. I understand how upset you are. I do.”

  “How could you know? Has someone in your family been kidnapped?” She was definitely being unfair, and her voice got louder as her anger escalated. Was this a reverse panic attack? These mood swings were not normal for her.

  “Meghan. Stop for a moment. Take a breath. Listen, this is part of being in shock.” It seemed like as good a reason as any. She was definitely acting out of character. It was her role to be the calm one, the one who handled all the family problems and emergencies. He was right, she needed to pull herself together. Walking into her sister’s house like this would be a disaster because as soon as the door closed behind her, she’d be bombarded.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. Well, some of it.”

  “I know,” Rafe answered and smiled gently. “I shouldn’t have kept the information to myself. But even thinking about going to Afghanistan by yourself is a horrible idea.” Yeah, he was trying to be nice. She�
�d expected him to say it would be crazy. That she was out of her mind.

  “Maybe. But I can’t sit home and do nothing.”

  “Call the state department. Or actually, they may have called your mother already. She’d be the logical contact unless your brother is married?”

  “No, he’s not married. And my mom is at my sister’s house for now.”

  “Check her messages, I’m not sure how they operate. They might have called your sister too.”

  “Right. I hadn’t thought of that. Seriously though, if you were in my position, what would you do?” She half-expected him to blow off the question. It sounded silly to her too. He’s a Navy SEAL and she’s a civilian reporter who’d never been out of the country. How could you compare them?

  “Honestly, I don’t know. But my boss wouldn’t let me go over there for a rescue mission either. Not on my own. I have more rules to follow than you do.”

  Another thing she hadn’t thought through. Of course, he did. The military was nothing but rules and as an elite team, they probably had extra since all of their missions were classified.

  The announcement came to prepare for landing. Meghan wasn’t sure if she was happy or not. Exhausted, stressed, and definitely on edge. In another half hour, she’d be saying goodbye to Rafe, probably forever. It was nice that he’d asked for her number, but she never expected him to use it. Whether she’d call him was highly unlikely as well. She was just another woman at another stop in his life.

  As if reading her mind, he put his hand over hers on the armrest. “Meghan, there is one thing I want you to hold onto about your brother. If being a missionary is truly his dream, then he won’t have regrets. I can guarantee that. He’ll feel bad about leaving his family, but if the worse happens, he’ll leave this life having followed his chosen path. We have to deal with that too. Every mission could be our last, but it’s what we chose, our life’s work, our passion.”

  Once again, Rafe was right. If the worst thing happened and Charlie didn’t come home alive, he’d lived his life on his own terms. Now, it was time to start living her life and chase her dreams.

  Thank fuck his team wasn’t with him. His reputation as the woman whisperer would go right out the window and he’d never live it down. Instead, he’d made a colossal fuck-up. And even worse, he didn’t know if she’d forgive him. All he’d wanted to do was help her. Instead, he overstepped and tried to protect her. That right had to be earned, to be given, not just taken.

  She hadn’t pulled her hand away. But she was staring out the window, and he could only see her profile. The muscle was ticking in her jaw. He didn’t know if she was just pissed-off, concentrating, or something else. She knocked him off balance and was living up to the nickname he’d given her.

  Time was running out for them. Once they landed and taxied to the gate, she’d walk away. He had her number, but if he couldn’t repair the rift he’d just made, he was doubtful she’d answer his calls. She’d wormed her way into his heart like no other woman he’d met. If it took moving heaven and earth to get her brother back, he would. He’d do anything he could to put a smile back on his little spitfire’s face.

  “Meghan?”

  “Huh, yeah?”

  “I’m really sorry I didn’t tell you right away. I hope you can forgive me.” She turned from staring out the window and met his eyes. The cabin lights had come on and he could see the determination gazing back at him.

  “You are a protector, Rafe. It’s in your genes. You did what you thought was best. How could I not forgive you?” Could it be that easy?

  “Thank you.” He meant it with all his heart. This tiny woman had changed his life in a span of eight hours. Watching her walk away would be the hardest thing he’d ever done. But he had to let her go, at least for now. But whether she knew it or not, she was going to be his. “I’ll let you know if my friend comes up with anything else.”

  “Thank you.” He saw the truth of her words in her eyes and relief washed over him.

  “Just promise me you won’t do anything without talking to me first. If there is any way or anything I can do to help I will.”

  “I appreciate that, but you don’t have to. You have your own life.”

  “Don’t you feel it? This thing between us? I can’t – no won’t let you just walk out of my life.”

  Surprise and something else flashed in her eyes before she looked away. Whatever was there she didn’t want him to see it, to read her. But it was too late. He saw it, and he’d hold on to it until his dying breath.

  “Meghan?”

  “You… I… we just met. This can’t be real. Like you said, I’m in shock. And you’re a protector. It’s not real.”

  “It’s very real, sweetheart, whether you want to admit it or not.”

  “Love at first sight only happens in cheesy romance novels. Not real life.”

  “Whether you believe it or not. I do. I might not have yesterday but today proved it to me. You call me a protector? You’re right, except now I’m yours.”

  Before she answered the plane touched down on the runway at Atlanta-Hartsfield Airport. Yesterday he would have been celebrating. Today he was dreading the opening of the airplane door.

  As the plane taxied to their gate, she turned to him and reached for his hand. “Rafe, I don’t know what’s real or not. You’re right, there is something. But for now, it has to be on the back burner until I get my brother back.”

  Relief danced along his nerve endings. It was enough for now. “I’m fine with that. Just don’t shut me out. We will make more headway working together.”

  “I promise. I…”

  “I know. Who would have thought that a night in Norfolk could change so much?”

  Chapter 6

  The state department had called, just as Rafe predicted. When she’d gotten off the plane and checked her phone, she found a message from Lizzie. They now had a point of contact, a Mr. Ted Clement, who had called while she was on the plane. She’d let Rafe know too before they said goodbye and he went to catch his plane to Denver.

  Neither of them wanted to say goodbye or turn away first. It was hard for Meghan to believe that she could feel this way about someone she’d just met. Rafe was like her Barbie Dream Date when she played that game with Lizzie when they were young. The man you fantasized about but knew there wasn’t a chance in hell he even existed. Yet, there he was, and he was claiming her as his own.

  She’d tried to deny it, but when he’d taken her in his arms and kissed her in the airport her knees gave out. It really was like out of some romance novel. But it was real. Heart racing, cheeks flushed, and damp panties didn’t lie. If it wasn’t love, she was heavy in lust. Too bad it was happening at the worst time of her life.

  Reluctantly she stepped away from him, and he just as reluctantly let her go. He promised to text her as soon as he landed in Denver and if he heard anything else from his mysterious friend, Tex. As she watched him walk away from her to his gate, she blinked back tears that threatened to overflow. Her emotions were raw, but she needed to pull it together since she had no idea what she’d be walking into at her sister’s house.

  If she’d forgotten it was Saturday, she remembered as soon as she opened the door and was assailed by the aroma of pancakes. Pancake Day was a tradition in the Butler household and nothing and no one stood in the way of Lizzie’s famous blueberry pancakes.

  As much as she wanted to talk to her sister about Charlie, the state department and Rafe she had to wait. The scent of pancakes triggered more stomach growling and she smiled as she thought about Rafe’s response when it growled last. Hard to believe it was only about ten hours ago. It felt more like last year.

  “I’m here,” Meghan yelled as she closed the front door. Two children and a fifty-pound dog came barreling around the corner and threw themselves at her. Thankfully, she was close enough to the front door that she didn’t end up at the bottom of a pile of bodies and fur.

  “Hey, give Aunt Meghan a brea
k. She’s been up all night,” Lizzie yelled from the kitchen.

  “Sorry, Aunt Meghan,” her niece Lia said as she gave her a hug.

  “Me too, kinda,” CJ, also known as Craig Junior, chimed in before hugging her tight enough to cut off her circulation.

  “I guess you’re sorry too, Stanley?” Meghan asked the fluffy mutt and was given a woof and the thumping of his tail hitting the wood floor.

  “Meghan?” Kathy Henley said as she came into the living room in her slippers and bathrobe. Her mom looked tired.

  “Hi, Mom. Did you enjoy the slumber party last night?” Meghan replied as she walked over and gave her mom a hug and a kiss and was surprised how frail she seemed. She’d need to check with the aides and see if Lizzie had any updates from the doctor. One more thing to add to her to do list while she was visiting.

  “C’mon into the kitchen. I can’t leave these pancakes they’ll burn.”

  “Oh no. It would be a travesty. We can’t have the best pancakes in the southern hemisphere burn.”

  “Meghan, you’re just being silly now. The pancakes aren’t that good,” her mom said.

  “They are too. Right, kids?”

  “Yes. Yes. Yes,” they yelled as they ran past her into the kitchen.

  Lizzie was standing in front of the stove, a spatula in one hand and a pitcher of pancake batter in the other. It was a sight to behold, and one of the best things about coming to visit.

  “How long until it’s ready?” Meghan asked as she looked at the plate piled high with pancakes and the bowl filled with bacon.

  “One more batch. But if the kids would set the table, y’all can get started.”

  “No, we won’t,” Kathy said. “We’ll all sit together and eat like a civilized family. You know the rules.

  Lizzie turned and winked at her. It’d had been the house rules when they were living at home. Everyone ate together and no one got up from the table until everyone was finished. Lizzie didn’t keep that rule at her house except when Mom was visiting. As hungry as Meghan was, she’d live. It was good to be home.