Never Let Go

by Cynthia Eden

  Sawyer lunged up toward him—only to be jerked back by the chains around his wrists.

  No…not chains. Handcuffs are around my wrists. But those cuffs are connected to the wall by a chain. Fuck. He was back in his cell, and he’d been secured. That was the term the bastards at the facility used whenever anyone got out of line. The subjects were put back in their cells and locked down with the cuffs.

  “Definite high aggression,” Landon muttered. His gaze raked over Sawyer. “I hope this is just a fluke, One.”

  I have a name.

  “You took out quite a few guards today. You attacked men who are here just to keep you and the others safe.” He opened the black bag at his feet and pulled out a stethoscope. “How can we possibly trust you to keep leading missions, if you are attacking those on your own side?”

  They aren’t on my side. “Tired of being a prisoner.” Each word was guttural. “You said I was a fucking volunteer…then why am I caged?” He jerked up his hands, and the handcuffs gleamed under the light. “Why am I in these?”

  “For your protection.” Landon’s hold on the stethoscope tightened. “And for the protection of the employees who work in this facility. Do you even remember how out of control you were before Dr. Gregory administered the tranq? I mean, you were terrifying Elizabeth Parker. She’s new here, and she certainly never expected to face your fury—”

  “I didn’t attack Elizabeth.”

  Landon blinked.

  “I would never hurt her.”

  Landon’s lips twisted, as if he’d just been told some joke. “Really? Are you quite sure about that?”

  What in the hell?

  Then Landon’s body straightened. “Sit back on the bed. I need to perform an exam on you—check your heart rate, get a blood sample, find out why you’re responding so differently now to the tranq—”

  “Good luck with that shit,” Sawyer cut in. “I’m not in the mood to be poked or prodded.”

  A guard stood just behind Landon. A guard who already had his weapon pointed right at Sawyer. Sawyer gave the guy a go-to-hell grin. “You gonna shoot? I bet you won’t.” He turned his grin on Landon. “If I’m unconscious, those test results just won’t be the same, will they? The tranq will slow down my heart rate, it’ll—”

  “I don’t want you unconscious.” Frustration boiled in Landon’s voice. “I’m on your side. We are all working together here at the Lazarus facility.”

  He didn’t buy that shit, and Sawyer decided to push the guy. “Really? If we’re all on the same team, then get Dr. Parker in here to perform my exam.”

  Landon’s eyes widened. “The woman you just attacked?”

  I didn’t attack her!

  “You actually think she wants to be anywhere near you now?”

  Sawyer’s muscles tensed. “I won’t hurt her. And you can keep a guard with us every second.” That guy with the gun didn’t have to leave. “Dr. Parker can exam me, and I can make sure she understands that she was never in any danger from me.”

  “No danger…” Landon laughed. “If you’re not dangerous, then what about those guards you shot? Want to tell me why you went so wild?”

  Because I wanted my name.

  “No? No answer? See, that’s part of the problem, One. I feel like you’re holding back on me. I feel like all of the subjects have been holding back, and that just can’t happen.” He squared his shoulders. “As far as Dr. Parker is concerned, you don’t give the orders. You don’t get to dictate to me and say that she has to be brought to you. That isn’t the way things work here. You might lead in the field, but inside the Lazarus walls,” he stepped closer to Sawyer. “I’m in charge.”

  A dull ache pounded inside Sawyer’s head. Rage ate at him, the dark fury that seemed to be growing stronger lately, but he didn’t let the emotion show. He kept his control in place. Sawyer’s gaze swept over Landon. Even with the cuffs binding him, Sawyer could knock that guy out in two seconds flat. The fool had gotten too close to Sawyer. It would be so easy to take him down.

  But I can’t reach the guard. He’s too far away. He’ll shoot me, and I’ll be out until the tranq pushes from my system again. He was so tired of this shit. There had to be a way to end the nightmare. To get answers.

  Elizabeth. Elizabeth is my key.

  Landon smirked at him. “Ready for your exam?”

  Are you ready for an ass kicking?

  No, dammit, wrong response. He had to play this scene right. He had to think, and he had to plan. Sawyer lifted his bound hands. “Go the fuck ahead.” For now. But your time is coming, Landon. Sooner than you think.

  ***

  Cold air filled the women’s locker room. Cecelia glanced around, her body tense, as if she were double-checking to be certain that she and Elizabeth were truly alone in that area.

  They were.

  “No cameras,” Cecelia said quietly. “Can’t be, you know. Since women are changing in here. It’s um, a workout space that Wright put in for us. I don’t know if you’ve had a chance to fully explore the facility yet, but the exercise area is—”

  “I don’t care about that,” Elizabeth cut in. She didn’t give a damn about the Lazarus exercise program. “Tell me about Subject One. What happened to him in your office? Why did he go tearing out like that?”

  Cecelia hesitated. “How do I know I can trust you?”

  You can’t.

  “I mean, all I know is that your name is Dr. Elizabeth Parker, and you were handpicked by Wright, just as I was.” She gave a bitter laugh. “Let me guess, he gave you an offer you couldn’t pass up, right?”

  “Right.” No way would she have walked away from the chance to get in that facility.

  “His offers sound good on the surface.” Cecelia’s lashes swept down to cover her gaze. “Then you realize that you’re in deep, and there is no going back.”

  Elizabeth shifted her stance. “You want to help the test subjects.” Elizabeth sure hoped she was reading the other woman correctly.

  Cecelia nodded. “They’re all here voluntarily, I get that, but surely they should be treated better—”

  Don’t be too sure about them being here voluntarily.

  “The confinement, the missions, the solitary life that has been created for them—it isn’t healthy. I keep being told to monitor them for aggressive behavior, and I am seeing more and more of that aggression. They need outlets. They need relief before the situation gets out of control.”

  Elizabeth was pretty sure things were already at the out-of-control point. “How long have you been monitoring the subjects?”

  “Two months. And they’ve become tenser during that time. A few of them…during our sessions…” Her hand rose to the base of her throat. “They’ve started to make me uncomfortable.”

  That wasn’t good. “What do you mean?”

  Cecelia held her gaze. “It’s in the way they look at me. Too focused. Too intense. And I…I feel like they may be lying to me when I question them.”

  Elizabeth’s stomach was in knots. “If this is happening, why in the hell are they even sent out on missions? That doesn’t make sense to me! Why send them—”

  “They’re suicide missions.”

  Those knots in her stomach got worse.

  Cecelia gave a rough laugh. “Surely you realize that? The men here are the ones who volunteered to handle the worst of the worst. They are given the missions that have a low hope of survival. That’s why the men here are the only ones who can handle those cases. Because they are the ones who agreed their lives were expendable.”

  They never made that agreement. Their lives ended. She forced out a slow breath. “If the men don’t want to stay here, why do they come back from the missions? Why not run—”

  “Because they are monitored. Every single step of the way. A tracker is put on their ankles, one that only Landon can remove. He keeps a lock on their locations for the entire time they are gone, and then the crew is picked up once their mission is complete.”
>
  Another piece of the puzzle slid into place. She’d wondered exactly what Landon had meant before and now she knew.

  “The men are enhanced,” Cecelia continued flatly. “And I guess…maybe giving up their freedom was the price they paid for increased strength and speed. For a healing ability that blows my mind. But I don’t like this situation. I don’t like it at all.”

  Join the club. “Tell me about what happened today with Subject One.” She needed to know what had sent Sawyer running from Cecelia’s office.

  But the shrink shook her head. “I’ve already said too much. I know the nature of this job means I can’t give those patients the confidentiality they deserve, that I have to share my analysis with Landon, but I don’t know you—I don’t know whose side you are on here.”

  Sawyer’s side, dammit!

  “Maybe you’re just like Wright. After the bottom line. I can’t be like that. I need to try and help these men. This experiment—it changed their lives. No, it obliterated their lives. They were like robots when I first met them. Following the commands they were given, no emotions impacting them, but…that’s changing.”

  “Changing how?”

  “They lost their memories. The personal memories that made them into the men they were. They woke as blank slates, and I think that is the way Wright thought they would stay.”

  Excitement had her pushing up onto the balls of her feet. “They’re not staying blank. That’s what you’re saying? They’re remembering their old lives?”

  Cecelia’s lips pressed together.

  “Don’t stop now!” Elizabeth was practically begging. “I want to help them, I swear, I do. I want to make a difference with these men. I am not the enemy. I truly want to make things right!”

  And she’d just misspoke. Elizabeth could tell that Cecelia had caught what she’d said because the woman’s eyes narrowed to slits.

  “Want to make things right?” Cecelia repeated as she backed up a step. “That would mean…just what did you do wrong?”

  Elizabeth didn’t reply.

  Cecelia’s expression shut down. “I have another appointment waiting.”

  Dammit. “Dr. Gregory—”

  “I think we’ve both said enough for the time being.” Cecelia turned on her heel and began to walk away.

  “No, we haven’t,” Elizabeth called out. Cecelia kept walking. “I didn’t say thank you!”

  Cecelia stilled.

  “You thought Saw—you thought Subject One was going to hurt me, so you stopped him. You were trying to save me, and I won’t forget that.” Cecelia had helped her. And Cecelia legitimately seemed interested in helping the subjects at the facility.

  Now Cecelia glanced back at her. Her brows had risen. “You weren’t afraid.”

  Elizabeth wasn’t sure what the woman meant. She’d pretty much been living in a state of fear ever since this nightmare began. A nightmare I helped to create.

  “When Subject One had you in that hallway, you didn’t try to run from him or fight him.” Cecelia spoke consideringly now. “Why? Running would have been a natural response. So would fighting. And you didn’t freeze. I saw you. You were staying at his side willingly.”

  The psychiatrist apparently saw far too much. Elizabeth would have to be more careful. She lifted her chin as she strode toward the other woman. “Everyone responds to fear differently. Surely you, of all people, realize that.” She brushed past Cecelia. It was definitely time for this little chat to end. The shrink was too insightful with her observations.

  But Cecelia’s hand flew out and curved around Elizabeth’s arm. “You’re not afraid of One.”

  She remembered the thunder of a gunfire. The sight of a lab littered with the dead. “Trust me, I am. But fear can’t stop us, can it?”

  Cecelia let her go. Elizabeth kept her spine straight and her steps slow as she headed for the exit. Elizabeth’s fingers had just closed around the door handle when she heard the shrink’s soft voice say, “It’s okay…I’m afraid of them, too.”

  Chapter Nine

  She shouldn’t be there. She should not be standing in front of Sawyer’s cell. Elizabeth knew she was running a risk, but she hadn’t been able to stop herself. She’d waited until everyone else had turned in for bed. The Lazarus facility was freaking huge—cut into the side of the mountain, the place just stretched and stretched as it tunneled underground. She had quarters there now, a studio apartment right next to Cecelia. Moving into the facility had been one of Wright’s conditions. He’d wanted her back, but he’d said that in order for her to work at Lazarus, she had to stay inside the base.

  So now she was as trapped as the others. But only for the time being.

  She’d needed to see Sawyer again. Elizabeth had desperately wanted to speak with him, so she’d waited until just before midnight, waited until she thought it would be the perfect time to slip out of her quarters…

  And then she’d gone running to Sawyer.

  She’d been careful, though. That day, she’d learned all about the placement of the security cameras. She’d learned the schedules for the guards. She’d learned how to stay in the shadows. Elizabeth had always been a very fast learner. And maybe she’d even paid a visit to the guards in the main security room after dinner. Maybe she’d chatted them up, distracted them, and uploaded a tiny little virus into their computer system while they weren’t looking. A virus that would temporarily take down their video feeds just before midnight.

  An undetectable virus, of course. Because she wasn’t an amateur. Her expertise didn’t just focus on genetics and neurobiology. She’d picked up quite a few tricks over the years. Hacking and computer programming—she’d learned quite a bit about both from an ex-lover. Jennings Maverick—or Jay as he preferred to be called—was a master when it came to computers. He’d taught her plenty, and, when she’d realized that she was getting a chance to head back into Lazarus, Jay had helped her out again. He’d been the one to give her the timed virus to take out the security cameras.

  She’d owe him now. Jay always collected on debts that were owed to him.

  Elizabeth glanced at her watch, then she eased out a slow breath. It was time. The feeds were down, and she had to get inside the cell with Sawyer. She crept toward his cell door. The trick was going to be getting in that cell. She had managed to grab a set of keys from the guards but—

  The cell door opened. It opened from the inside. Just when she was about to start trying every single key that she had, Sawyer’s door simply swung open. Her mouth dropped in surprise, but then a big, strong hand shot out from the darkness. Callused fingertips curled around her wrist, and she was yanked inside of Sawyer’s cell. The door shut behind her, not even making a whisper of sound, and she found herself caged with the door at her back—and Sawyer pressed to her front. He was a big, hulking shadow, dark and dangerous, and it took her a minute to actually breathe. When she did manage to suck in a deep breath, she immediately expelled it with a cry of, “You’re not locked inside! You can get out anytime you—”

  His hand covered her mouth.

  Fear spiked inside of her.

  He moved even closer to her, and Sawyer’s mouth feathered over her ear as he rasped, “I’m going to need you to keep that sexy voice of yours at whisper level, doc. Wouldn’t want the wrong people knowing that you just slipped into my room.”

  Her heart nearly burst right out of her chest.

  “Stop.” More than a hint of anger was in his growled word. “I won’t hurt you.” His hand slid away from her mouth. His fingers trailed down her body, going to curve around her hip as he held her against him.

  It wasn’t exactly easy to turn off fear. And his touch only made things worse. “H-how…” That was all she could manage and the word definitely came out as a whisper. Or more like a weak breath.

  “How did I pick the lock on my cell? Easy. Took about three seconds. I’ve been able to come and go as I please since pretty much day one.” Again, the words were whispered a
gainst her, but she felt the edge of his lips on the shell of her ear, and Elizabeth shivered.

  His body pressed even closer to hers.

  “The lock isn’t a challenge. The tricky part is timing my exits so that the video cameras don’t see me.”

  “But…the guards…” She knew they patrolled, too. She’d been worried about making sure they didn’t see her during her little visit. If they looked through that one-way glass…

  He gave a faint laugh and this time, she thought his tongue swept against her ear.

  Elizabeth stopped breathing.

  “I can always tell exactly where the guards are. Let’s just say that I can truly hear them coming from a mile off. Just as I heard you coming to me.”

  Her breath expelled in a startled rush. So the guy had just been waltzing around Lazarus at night, doing whatever he wanted—for weeks?

  Sawyer Cage isn’t the man you knew before. Be very, very careful. Jay had told her that when she’d spilled the whole dark story to him and begged for his help. He’d been hesitant, to say the least. He’d told her she was walking straight into a minefield.

  And he hadn’t wanted to see her explode.

  “Are the others…do they get out, too?” Her whisper was weak.

  “Like I’d tell you that, doc.”

  Was that a yes? A no? A fuck off?

  “What I want to know…” That was definitely his tongue sliding against her ear, and Elizabeth could not control a shiver in the dark. “I want to know why you were sneaking into my room.”

  “I-I was worried…wanted to check on—”

  “Lie.”

  Her lips parted.

  “Your heart sped up too much when you lied.” Again, she heard anger in his voice. “Don’t lie to me, doc. Not ever again. I can tell when you lie. I will always be able to tell.”

  Was that true? No, surely not. He wasn’t some kind of human lie detector. He wasn’t—

  I don’t know what he is, not anymore. Because of me and Landon, because we messed with the laws of nature, I don’t know what we have now.

  She wasn’t even sure what Sawyer was any longer.